Best Queer Dating Experts

Gay Dating

10 Best Queer Dating Experts of 2023

Chloë Hylkema

Written by: Chloë Hylkema

Chloë Hylkema

Chloë Hylkema loves using her writing skills to tell stories that matter. Her time as an English student at Emory University molded her into a detailed writer with a knack for the relatable. Chloë is familiar with what it means to date in the modern age, and she endeavors to write material that is both truthful and helpful. She has previously worked as lead campaign writer for an animal advocacy group and now brings her passion for engaging and actionable content to

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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When a person who identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community feels like they need help in the dating department, finding expert resources that are geared toward them and their experiences is important. Being lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, or queer deeply influences how a person navigates the world around them. They need dating and relationship resources that understand the queer perspective.

These queer dating experts help their LGBTQ+ clients with practical advice and empathetic support. It can sometimes be hard to be gay and date, but these experts help make the process smoother. They have tips, advice, and resources for nearly every aspect of queer dating, from coming out to knowing when it’s time to make things serious with a special someone.

Michele O’Mara | Liz Aeschlimann | Ariella Serur | Dario | Scott Tsui | Nathan Serrato | Lamont White | Mary Malia | Ruth L. Schwartz | Sonalee Rashatwar

Michele O’Mara (she/her) helps lesbian couples grow solid, happy, and sustainable relationships. Michele created Lesbian Adventures in Love, a multifaceted relationship coaching approach made just for lesbians. The mission of Lesbian Adventures in Love is to provide lesbian couples with effective and affordable solutions for their relationship problems.

Michele created Lesbian Adventures in Love after she noticed that typical relationship courses are full of heterosexual couples and there were very few resources specifically for lesbians. Lesbian Adventures in Love offers online courses, coaching, and retreats that create a supportive and empowering environment.

More About Michele (she/her)

  • Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology
  • Relationship coaching specifically for lesbian couples
  • Lesbian Adventures in Love creates a supportive community 

Best for: Lesbian Couples

Liz Aeschlimann (she/her), M.Div., is a community organizer, educator, and chaplain. She has spent the last decade helping people build transformative relationships and equip them with the tools they need to be resilient, purposeful, and powerful. Liz has a Master of Divinity from Harvard Divinity School and graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Carleton College with a B.A. in Cognitive Science.

Liz offers a three-month coaching group called Mindful Queer Dating: A Joyful Queer Coaching Community. This course helps group members connect with their most badass, authentic dating self. Liz gives her coaching clients tools to date mindfully, find solidarity with the queer community, and weather the highs and lows of dating.

More About Liz (she/her) 

  • Queer Jewish woman
  • B.A. in Cognitive Science and M.Div. from Harvard Divinity School
  • Focus on building community and better relationships

Best for: Supportive Group Courses

Ariella Serur (she/they), otherwise known as the Queer Dating Coach, loves being queer and dating. They want their clients to love dating, too. Ariella says her favorite conversation topic is dating, and her friends always come to her with their romance woes and feats. When Ariella graduated college with a degree in musical theater, she had this wild idea that she should go on a date for every audition.

Why? Because they were equally scared of both. Ariella said that navigating fear and rejection was nerve-wracking, so they doubled down and faced their fear. She now helps other queer folk navigate the dating landscape, understand what they want out of romance, and enjoy the process of it all.

More About Ariella (she/they)

  • Focus on moving through fear and enjoying the ride
  • Safe, affirming, inclusive space
  • Instilling clients with a love of queer dating

Best for: New Queer Daters



Dario (he/him) is a dating and relationship life coach who believes we all deserve to love and be loved unconditionally. Dario helps gay men struggling with love addiction and patterns of toxic partnerships create happier and healthier relationships. Throughout his 20s, Dario struggled with his own romantic relationships and felt constantly heartbroken. 

Once he broke through his problematic relationship habits, a wonderful and fulfilling relationship with his now-boyfriend was on the other side. Now Dario helps guys like him find the same romantic success. He offers online guides on working through recurring relationship problems, plus one-on-one coaching.

More About Dario (he/him)

  • Based in London
  • Focus on becoming a better self to find more dating success
  • Specifically for young gay men 

Best for: Young Gay Men

Scott Tsui


Scott Tsui (he/him) is a trained and experienced relationship transformation coach who works with gay men. He’s the author of “Lonely No More – 8 Steps to Find Your Gay Husband,” which was an Amazon bestseller. Gay Men Relationship Blueprint is Scott’s online course and community of men, which is a guide for single and dating gay guys.

Gay Men Relationship Blueprint focuses on Scott’s three relations Cs: consciousness, compatibility, and companionship. It’s an eight-step online course that helps gay men break through their relationship failures and find their perfect match. Scott also offers personal coaching.

More About Scott (he/him)

  • Best-selling author
  • Experience relationship coach for gay men
  • Focus on finding a fulfilling, lasting partnership

Best for: Gay Men Looking for Long-Term Partnership

Nathan Serrato (he/him) is a Queer Mindset Coach and the director of Queer Conscious. Nathan is an ICF Certified Life Coach, Reiki Practitioner, and Master Practitioner in Time Line Therapy®, Hypnotherapy, and NLP. He helps queer people free themselves from the shame that is holding them back.

Nathan helps his clients break free from the harmful messaging that is commonplace in many people’s upbringings. He helps clients move beyond the religious and sexual trauma of their pasts, just as he did. Nathan wants the queer folk he helps to realize they are worthy of and capable of leading a wonderful, love-filled life.

More About Nathan (he/him)

  • ICF Certified Life Coach and Reiki Practitioner
  • Helps clients work on themselves to find fulfilling relationships
  • Focus on healthy, balanced lifestyle and stable relationships

Best for: Queer Self-Discovery

Lamont White (he/him), otherwise known as the Gay Dating Coach, is a Certified Matchmaker from the Matchmaking Institute and a dating coach for gay men. Lamont has been a gay matchmaker and relationship coach since 2014 and has even matched up a few couples for marriage. He lives in Atlanta with his husband and their nephews.

Lamont and his business partner Josh Noblitt (he/him) operate Better Way to Meet, which provides private and quality matchmaking services for gay and bisexual men who live in the United States. Better Way to Meet offers matchmaking services, dating coaching, couples counseling, and even mock date packages.

More About Lamont (he/him)

  • Nation-wide matchmaking and coaching services
  • Lamont and business partner Josh have diverse backgrounds
  • Focus on gay men

Best for: Gay Matchmaking

Mary Malia


Mary Malia (she/her) is the founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach and a lesbian author, speaker, dating consultant, and coach. She helps lesbians navigate online dating, deal with loneliness, and learn more about the lesbian dating scene. Mary wants to help lesbians break through barriers to find happiness and long-lasting love.

Mary founded and organized lesbian-focused community groups in states across the U.S. to build supportive communities of lesbians. She started Gay Girl Dating with the belief that lesbian, gay, queer, bi, and trans women can live extraordinary lives when they understand what they need to make life great.

More About Mary (she/her)

  • Lesbian author, speaker, and dating coach
  • Focus on lesbian community-building
  • Guiding busy and accomplished lesbians to the love they desire

Best for: 

Ruth L. Schwartz (she/her) is the director of Conscious Girlfriend Academy. Ruth is the author of eight books, including an Amazon bestseller called “Conscious Lesbian Dating & Love.” She has a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and three years of study at the Somatica Institute, where she is a certified Sex and Intimacy Coach.

Conscious Girlfriend Academy is an intelligent, compassionate learning community for lesbians that welcomes all women who love women (or want to) and adjacent non-binary people. It’s open to single lesbians and couples and is designed to help them learn to create the kind of love life they’re looking for. The program creates a supportive and fun community of lesbians.

More About Ruth L. Schwartz (she/her)

  • Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology
  • Inclusive, diverse, and warm community of lesbians
  • Offers group meetings, online resources, and more

Best for: Supportive Community of Lesbians

Sonalee Rashatwar (they/he), LCSW MEd, is a clinical social worker, sex therapist, adjunct lecturer, and grassroots organizer. Sonalee identifies as a queer bisexual non-binary and is a therapist who co-owns Radical Therapy Center, a treatment center that specializes in treating sexual trauma, diet trauma, and racial and immigrant trauma.

Sonalee also offers fat-positive sexual healthcare and is very involved in advocacy. They work as a community organizer and have fundraised and facilitated a free five-day political action summer camp for LGBTQ+ South Asian and Indo-Caribbean youth. As an immigrant and community organizer, Sonalee can offer a unique insight into the ways colonialism continues to influence sexuality norms.

More About Sonalee (they/he)

  • Master of Social Work and Master of Education in Human Sexuality
  • Expertise on LGBTQ+ sexual and colonial trauma
  • Intersectional approach that considers disability, race, and gender

Best for: BIPOC Queer People

Entering the dating world can be a transformative experience, and perhaps even more so for LGBTQ+ folks. The queer dating scene is made up of people with a spectrum of unique identities, distinct social cultures, and diffuse backgrounds. It’s a beautifully diverse place that can be wonderful to explore. 

These experts give queer folks the resources, advice, tips, and community they need to flourish while dating. Queer dating has its challenges, but it’s also an experience full of joy and excitement. These experts want their LGBTQ+ clients to experience the happiness that waits for them in dating.