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We’re in a millennial world when it comes to dating. Whether you’re 18 or 68, one of the most efficient ways to meet someone special is through online and mobile dating.
How do you navigate your dating ship through this sea of potential treasures? Here are my top tips for having more of a successful experience.
We’re men. We’re visual men. Period. Your photos are all you have when it comes to creating the best first impression. I think a lot of men want to get a physical glimpse of your energy and lifestyle. Your photos are a representation of the mosaic of your life.
As a professional matchmaker for many years, my favorite client photos are well-cropped, good quality images of them out and about with friends. You don’t want someone to think your friend is more attractive than you, and you don’t want every other photo to be of you with a drink in your hand.
Absolutely no hats, sunglasses, or selfies. I never really understood why people post five selfies and expect that to make the best impression.
If you aren’t sure which photos to use, show your best friends and ask for their honest and objective opinion. That candid feedback will only provide you with more right swipes.
These are my pet peeves I’ve seen clients put in their dating profile bios:
The survival of the fittest phrase is important to note here. The more thought you give your bio, the more you actually filter out the candidates that will wind up wasting your time.
Let’s pick up the dating profile paintbrush and continue painting the picture of that mosaic that will be attractive to someone. What makes you unique? What specifically are you looking for in regard to an ideal mate? Do you have any major dealbreakers?
There’s no need to start a conversation with someone if you’re deathly allergic to his lovely feline friend or if you aren’t down dating carnivores when you’ve been a vegan for the past decade. People really value honesty and appreciate that you have a relationship resumé.
People want to use your dating profile to see how you carry yourself in a conversation and how mature you can be in any given situation. By really spending time to make sure your grammar is correct, you’re helping people get a feel for your personality.
Several studies have found that using poor grammar and misspelling words are among the top reasons people swipe left and/or don’t respond to first messages.
My rule of thumb if you’ve matched with someone is to get something on the books within a few days.
When I was dating more actively on dating sites and apps, if I started the conversation, it was the other party’s responsibility to respond in a timely manner. I can’t tell you the number of guys I unmatched with if nothing was being reciprocated within three days. C’mon, no one is seriously that busy to respond — there’s honestly no excuse.
Have you heard of the phrase “He’s just not that into you?” If you really like this fella, and you know you’re going to be on an extended vacation or caught up with your career, there has to be communication to salvage that connection.
Say something like: “Can I follow up with you next week when things are a little lighter?” I bet a majority of you reading that statement would immediately dismiss him and think he’s going to disappear. That’s the sad element I wish we could erase from current dating practices.
Broken promises will more quickly reveal a person’s integrity and true character than will fulfilled ones. I’m a firm believer in offering solutions instead of hypotheticals. He’s busy? I would offer some options for the following week. He’s still busy? You move on. You’ve done your part, and now the ball is in his court.
Some people aren’t good initiators, but it doesn’t take much to say hello and ask how someone’s day is going. I also understand if you’ve been the instigator the past 10 times and no one responds, and now you’ve thrown in the mental towel in that regard. It amazes me how people get on dating apps and don’t take it seriously.
Do you download a car share service app and then never be on time? I guess therein lies the difference here because a car share service has a rating system, and you’re actually paying for the service ahead of time. What would happen if we had to pay for a date beforehand and also rated our experience fairly with someone before and after the date?
I don’t want to completely place an ominous and daunting fog over online and mobile dating. I love the fact that I can “date” while enjoying my morning coffee, running on the treadmill, or chilling in my pajamas.
One would argue that online dating can save a lot of time. However, you can still waste a lot of time if you don’t take yourself or your profile seriously. That extra 10 minutes you dedicate to perfecting your profile will save you hours of time of meeting the wrong people.
Whether you like it or not, dating should feel like a job of sorts: You dress nicer, you arrive on time, and you let your communicative actions speak for themselves. Good luck out there!