Mixed Signals With An Online Match

Women's Dating

Mixed Signals with an Online Match

Christine Hart

Written by: Christine Hart

Christine Hart

Your Date Coach is a leader in helping clients navigate their way through the often confusing world of dating. Through step-by-step coaching, our guidance and techniques have led to more than 65 lasting marriages and countless long-term relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

I met this guy about three weeks ago online, and we’ve been out a few times for drinks and shared some kisses. I’d like to see him more, but I always see he’s logged into his online account.

Seriously, every single time I’m on there he shows up. This makes me think he’s talking to a lot of other girls, and I want someone who is only interested in me. Not looking for players!

How do I communicate to him I’m looking for something more serious and exclusive?

-Mixed Signals

Dear Mixed Signals,

It can be hard enough to distinguish mixed signals when you are sitting across the table from each other, let alone online.

However, there are a few key things you can do that will help.

First, we need to consider he has also seen YOU’VE been online, so he’s likely thinking YOU are talking to other guys, too.

I just think you need to take that into consideration before leaping to any “player” conclusions.

Also, another thing for consideration is when I asked several single men this exact question, they said a lot of the time they don’t bother logging off, even when they’re not in front of the computer or on the site.

It’s kind of like a Facebook chat is often open on your computer even if you aren’t actively on the site.

But when I posed the opposite scenario, they admitted they would find it a bit frustrating if the girl they had been out with a few times was always online. Hmmm, interesting.

“Keep your options open and don’t

obsess about seeing when he is online.”

Let’s stick to SOLUTIONS for you.

It starts with coming from a place of honesty and communicating what it is you are looking for.

Decide for yourself first, and then search for someone who shares your goals of something more serious and exclusive.

The next time you go out with him, be more expressive of your desires so he’s clear. He may have no idea and think you are just out to casually date several guys.

Make sure you say your desires and goals first so you don’t edit yourself based on what HE is looking for.

In the meantime, keep your options open and don’t obsess about seeing when he is online. It can become a habit that leaves you feeling poorly about yourself and only communicating with one guy.

I don’t want you to waste time with time-wasters, but I also don’t want you to write someone off because of online behavior assumptions.

Live Love,


Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.