The Secrets to Having a Good Threesome

Something everyone wants to know about is sex with more than two people, also known as threesomes and moresomes.

If you are part of a couple and are interested in adding a third (or fourth or more) for some sexual hotness, make sure you are communicating with your partner about your desires and interests.

For a broader discussion about opening up your relationship, see my other related article on that topic.

You need to find out how your partner feels about it and what kind of support, boundaries or rules he or she might need to be excited about it.

Don’t push the idea or pressure your partner. This will most likely lead to a disappointing experience.

However, don’t be afraid to tell your partner it is something you really want to experience with them. Be patient and honest.

Integrating your threesome fantasy into your sexual toolbox of dirty talk and coupled porn-viewing can be a great way to help your partner understand and visualize how hot you think it would be to add people to your sexy times.

• Who is OK to invite for group sex (friends, strangers, etc.)?
• How will group sex impact the relationship among the people involved?
• Is it OK if it happens again?
• What are the sexual and emotional boundaries?
• Can you manage jealousy, competitiveness and possessiveness to the extent that a threesome/moresome will be a fun and positive experience?
• What are your safer sex practices for a group sex encounter?
• What is the goal of the group sex encounter (fun, experimentation, closeness, love, etc.)?

“Make sure you are communicating with your

partner about your desires and interests.”

A threesome with two straight women and one man will be a qualitatively different experience than a threesome with two bi or bi-comfy women and a man.

Similarly, a threesome with two straight men and one woman can be quite different from a threesome with two bi or bi-comfy men and one woman.

And a moresome with all straight individuals will be different than a moresome with individuals who are willing to engage in same-sex play to some degree.

What are your comfort levels around same-sex sex?

• Being too intoxicated to enjoy what is going on
• Not speaking up if you are feeling uncomfortable or just not having fun anymore
• Pushing or breaking a predetermined and agreed boundary

• Define clear boundaries (emotional and sexual) before getting hot and heavy
• Discuss your safer sex practices beforehand and then use them
• Think and talk about positions and other fantasies
• Speak up during the encounter about what you want
• Communicate with your partner(s) during the encounter about how they are doing and what they want
• Communicate with your partner(s) afterward about what they loved and what they would change about the experience

One extremely entertaining and informative book for exploring this further is Vicki Vantoch’s, “The Threesome Handbook.”

Have you ever wanted a threesome or moresome? Have you had one?