This Matchmaker Uses Numerology To Access Her Clients’ Deepest Desires

The Short Version: To find truly compatible matches, matchmakers need to know their clients inside and out. Julia Bendis of Match by Julia does this with the help of numerology and humor. By calculating the numbers that make up birth dates and picking up on numerical patterns, Julia can uncover a client’s true personality and put them on the best path to romance — with a laugh to boot. 

What if your birthdate could tell you the future?

You often hear “numerology” and “astrology” in the same sentence, and it’s true that both are related to the mystical belief that the stars can guide our way to happiness. Before you laugh, consider this: People have been consulting numerology for generations with the belief that it can reveal not only one’s deepest desires, but one’s future… including one’s future love life. 

Julia Bendis, a matchmaker from the matchmaking service Match by Julia, with years of experience, addresses relationship problems with a holistic and humorous approach. When hashing out disagreements doesn’t help, maybe a deeper, all-encompassing coaching method, like Julia’s, is in order. When in doubt, she consults the (mystical) numbers. 

“I don’t operate like every single matchmaker out there,” Julia told us. “It’s not all about rules and guidelines.” You also need to be able to make light of the matchmaking process, which can reveal some harsh truths about yourself. 

According to Julia, good matchmaking is when you can access your client’s real personality. You have to know who they are, and how what they want differs from what they need. 

And as Julia explained to us, the key to one’s deepest desires could be hidden in one’s birthdate. 

Julia traced her matchmaking abilities back to “the old country” — Ukraine or Soviet Russia, she said — where “it was just something women did.” 

“It’s a cultural thing,” Julia explained. “What my mom and grandma did wasn’t even just for fun, it was because they felt this calling to do it.” 

Julia’s mother was a microbiologist and her grandmother was a dentist, so both women approached matchmaking with a wide breadth of knowledge. Now, Julia is approaching the matchmaking process with modern techniques to back up her decades of expertise. 

“We have to stay with the times,” Julia told us. Understanding the modern world is key to working with modern clients. “We need to understand everyone’s world and everyone’s desires and needs.” 

Numerology is a unique way Julia gets to know her clients. “It’s about the numbers in your name and birth date, as well as the meaning (behind them),” she explained. 

In other words, numerology is the belief numbers possess a deeper meaning, especially as they pertain to one’s birthdate, name, and other real-world events. These “meanings” don’t only reveal potential details about one’s past, but one’s future, as well. Numerology may even reveal aspects of one’s personality. 

One way a numerologist delves into someone’s personality is by adding the numbers that make up their birth date. When done right, you can calculate someone’s Life Path Number, which can reveal deeply hidden aspects of one’s personality, love life, financial habits, and general future. 

“Before I take on any clients, I run their numerology chart,” Julia said. She believes that one’s numerology chart can provide insight into who they are and what they need out of a partner. 

“People will tell me what they think they need in a partner, and it’s (actually) the complete opposite of what they need in a partner. They think they know what they want, but they don’t.” 

She described one’s numerological chart as “a blueprint of who you are.” 

“It gives me a deeper insight into who the person is,” she said. 

Julia described how one of her clients, a good-looking man in his 30s, came to her with a laundry list of qualifications for his match. “Right away, I felt like he was being very shallow,” she told us. “As soon as I ran his numbers, saw his personality type, saw his life path and his soul urge and his expression number, it all made sense.” 

His numbers revealed that his desire — a perfect trophy wife — didn’t match up with what he actually needed. “(I told him) how he really should dig deeper and he should lead with more of who he is, with kindness, instead of what he has, what he’s accomplished, and his money,” she explained. 

The man’s reaction only supported Julia’s analysis. 

“Of course, he was like, ‘That’s not me. I don’t relate to half of this.’” One of his biggest issues, Julia said, was his narrow viewpoint.

“It’s only because he’s so close minded,” she reiterated. It wasn’t until Julia and her client dug deeper into his desires versus his needs that, as she described, he “dropped that facade.” 

As it turned out, his desire for “the perfect trophy wife” actually came from his parents. What they wanted for him and what he actually wanted were not one in the same. 

Julia compares numerology to a mirror. Once you analyze what your numbers mean, hold it up to your life and see what lines up, and what doesn’t. If you have trouble seeing similarities, you may have to do some soul-searching to figure out why. 

Numerology can reveal “the artificial, shallow things you’re putting out there,” Julia explained. You may not realize that your vibe alone could be turning people off. It’s also possible your sky-high expectations are setting you up for disappointment. 

A glimpse at your numerology chart can reveal deep-seated truths you haven’t been able to confront – until now, with Julia’s help. 

Depending on who you ask, numerology is either a fun party game or a genuine glimpse into your psyche. I like to think it’s a little of both. I’m a Virgo, and I just happen to fall squarely into the Virgo personality type: I’m a hard worker but can border on perfectionism; I’m the caring “mom” friend who needs to loosen up from time to time; I seek security to such an extent that I’m very reliable, but can end up self-isolating if I’m not careful. 

With all this in mind, I wasn’t surprised when my numerology reading revealed similar characteristics. 

According to my reading, my Life Path Number is 8, which implies that I’m “business driven, seeking success and financial success.” Julia’s readings provide positive aspects of each Life Path Number as well as some blunt truths. 

In addition to your Life Path number, you can see how your zodiac sign factors into your reading, as well as your Expression number, your Soul Urge number, your Birth Date number, and your Personality number. 

Different aspects of the reading definitely rang true to me, and other parts of the reading were difficult to accept. Some statements simply didn’t resonate at all. It’s never going to feel 100% accurate because human beings are 100% unique!

I can see how a numerology reading can provide insight for a matchmaker like Julia, who has experience using astrology and numerology as guides (emphasis on the word “guide” — it’s not a road map!). Perhaps they can jump-start critical thought for the client, as well as for the matchmaker. I know it did for me! 

The reading gave me a glimpse into what I could be presenting to others, and encouraged self-awareness and self-improvement. 

When it comes to putting people together and seeing if they stick, numerology can, at the very least, help us understand who we are and what we want. Plus, it’s a fun, interesting way to learn a little more about that mysterious psyche of yours. 

If you want Julia’s help, you’ll have to respect the fact that you might not love what she has to say. For the most part, Julia’s analysis of your personality comes from numerology, not only her own observations. You have to accept uncomfortable truths about yourself if you’re going to find a match based on compatibility. 

“We have to be a match for each other,” Julia said of her relationships with her clients. “If I can’t respect the person in front of me, how can I look out for their best interest and partner in life?” 

It’s a good question. After all, modern-day matchmaking depends on mutual trust. Whether you’re looking for casual hookups or a serious relationship, you should know for sure that your matchmaker is fully dedicated to your cause. And you need to treat each of your matchmaker’s suggestions with respect, as well. 

Julia makes matchmaker/client bonding easy by injecting humor into the process. 

“Life is hard, period,” she told us. As an advocate for victims of human trafficking, Julia has  seen some truly devastating sights. “I feel like I was put on this earth to help people in whatever way I can, and that’s a big reason why I don’t take on many matchmaking clients.” 

She had to step away from matchmaking and her human rights efforts to address her own health. “I’m focusing more on coaching, numerology, and taking care of my own mental health,” she said. 

One way she’s doing this is by holding on to her sense of humor. 

“Humor is what sustains (the Jewish spirit) despite all of the tragedies in every generation, every century, every millennium.” She approaches matchmaking with the same levity. 

“They say comedians are the most messed up people in the world because they turn every serious topic into a joke. But that’s how you cope with life.” 

“(You wouldn’t) believe the things some people ask (matchmakers) for,” she added. “Guys are like, ‘I will not date anyone with breast implants.’ I’m like, this is California,” she joked. 

“It’s ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. But that’s what makes it great, you know?”