Matchmaking Is A Self Discovery Journey

Women's Dating

Matchmaking Isn’t Just About Finding a Partner – It’s About Becoming a Better Version of Yourself

Chloë Hylkema

Written by: Chloë Hylkema

Chloë Hylkema

Chloë Hylkema loves using her writing skills to tell stories that matter. Her time as an English student at Emory University molded her into a detailed writer with a knack for the relatable. Chloë is familiar with what it means to date in the modern age, and she endeavors to write material that is both truthful and helpful. She has previously worked as lead campaign writer for an animal advocacy group and now brings her passion for engaging and actionable content to DatingAdvice.com.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!

The Short Version: Matchmaking is a journey, and Heather Drury, Director of Coaching at The Matchmaking Company, shed some tips for singles hoping to make the most out of the introductions process. Heather talked about mindset, trusting the journey, and how to get really honest with post-introduction feedback, and gave the scoop on all of The Matchmaking Company’s offerings. There is no right or wrong way to date – it’s all about finding the way that works best for you.

The last time I went through a breakup, I knew it would be some time before I started dating again. We had been together for most of college, shared an apartment, and worked at the same restaurant – needless to say, untangling our lives was extremely difficult and painful, and I decided it would be a long time before I went through that again.

Everyone has a different approach to healing from a breakup, but I always encourage people to take time alone before diving back into dating. When you take a dating hiatus, you give yourself time to reflect on your past relationships and decide what you want to do differently in the future. 

Once you’re ready to start dating, you’ll realize that taking a break from dating is as much part of the process as dating itself. Heather Drury is the Director of Coaching at The Matchmaking Company, and she talked to us about dating timelines and how to know if you’re ready to jump back into the scene.

Whether you’re re-entering online dating or trying out matchmaking, you must ensure you’re ready. Heather touched on some of the habits and strategies singles can try out to prepare themselves for the matchmaking process and re-entering the dating scene. She also filled us in on all of The Matchmaking Company’s offerings.

“Mindset is everything,” Heather said. “People come to us with all sorts of pasts and relationship histories, and oftentimes, they’ve tried dating apps or sites and are having a hard time. You have to let go of the previous negative experiences to get the full benefits of any dating experiences.”

Getting in the Best Dating Mindset

Singles seek the services of a matchmaker for many reasons, but Heather said many clients are attracted to the idea of having a full-time relationship professional assist them with their romantic lives. “When people come to us, they’re really excited that dating no longer has to be a full-time job for them,” Heather said.

Unfortunately, enthusiasm isn’t all it takes. “And that’s really relieving for them,” Heather continued. “But if they don’t take that step of letting go, they can make it harder for them to trust us and lean into the journey.”

It’s been said many times, but only because it’s true: Dating is a journey. Heather said the best matchmaking results occur when a high level of trust exists between a client and a matchmaker. This level of trust allows a single to show up authentically each step along the way.

the matchmaking company advice
Singles should show up to dating as the best version of themselves.

“We always say this is a journey,” Heather agreed. “And through the journey, you’ve got bumps and twists and turns, but the end result is magical, and, often, the journey to get there is just as magical. Matchmaking isn’t just about the end goal.”

When singles step into matchmaking with a growth-oriented mindset rather than a results-oriented one, Heather said amazing things happen. “There’s a lot to be said about knowing what you want, but we can’t miss out on the opportunity to learn to grow.”

Ultimately, Heather said the best preparation for matchmaking is trusting in the journey – whatever that may be.

“The faster we can get the client to realize they can just let go, and take a deep breath and ease into this, the faster they will enjoy the process,” Heather said. “And, this way, the success seems to happen more organically because they’re allowing themselves– mentally and physically and emotionally– to ease into this process.”

Matchmaking is a Journey, Not a Destination

Choosing the right dating approach for you may take some time and a few bad fits. Heather said clients come to The Matchmaking Company for various reasons and with various past experiences, but one thing unites them all: a desire for genuine connection.

“I don’t think there’s anyone necessarily wrong for matchmaking, but there is a mindset that’s wrong for matchmaking,” Heather told us. “I would say the opposite kind of mindset you should have for matchmaking, and our membership specifically, is thinking things should happen a specific way and in a specific time frame.”

Part of trusting a matchmaker is trusting their timing and expertise. It’s also important to give each new introduction a fair chance. “This still has to do with mindset, but really meet your introductions,” Heather said. “This ties into releasing those pre-judgments and allowing yourself to really be open and get to know the people we introduce you to.”

open mind for matchmaking
A positive outlook goes a long way in the matchmaking journey.

Openness and authenticity remain important throughout introductions and feedback sessions with matchmakers. Heather said clients should be as honest as possible with their matchmakers while giving feedback because their matchmakers can only make matches based on the information the client has given them.

“We want our clients to tell us how they really feel because we need to understand them throughout dating,” Heather said. “So feedback is super important. But we also follow the three-date rule.”

The three-date rule is a great strategy for all daters to use, whether or not they’re working with a matchmaker. The three-date rule says that singles should go on three dates with a person before they make a decision about how they want to navigate the rest of the relationship, whether that’s seeing each other again or bidding adieu. 

“You can’t just meet this person once,” Heather said. “People are usually nervous on first dates, so it’s always good to see them again and try out. And while we look for new matches and introductions, it’s nice to go on dates with a person you’ve already met. It’s a lot less stressful.”

Find Love With The Matchmaking Company 

Once you’re ready to step into matchmaking, The Matchmaking Company is ready for you. The matchmaking service founded by Master Certified Matchmaker Charlee Brotherton has been introducing singles across the country for over 20 years.

The Matchmaking Company works with men and women of many ages and backgrounds. The service is focused on creating long-term, committed partnerships supported by our experienced matchmaking and coaching staff. Clients will receive one-on-one guidance as they explore new introductions and learn about themselves along the way.

The role of a matchmaker often goes beyond finding great matches or providing a listening ear. “Good people often don’t stand on a soapbox and say look at me and all of my beautiful qualities,” Heather said. “They mute themselves. So another beautiful thing about a membership with us is that we see those things and can point them out for you.”

the matchmaking company
The Matchmaking Company finds singles compatible partners for life.

Heather told us the team at The Matchmaking Company balances critical and positive feedback. Without either, the matchmaking process wouldn’t be effective. “We have a whole team of coaches who have the full-time job of providing this feedback,” she said. “And we have two different departments that are trained to do two different things – coaches and matchmakers.”

The Matchmaking Company combines coaching and matchmaking to give single men and women a truly supported dating experience. While many singles enter into matchmaking with a clear idea of what they want, Heather said it’s definitely OK if they’re still not sure.

“Anybody who is serious about this and wants to get started, we can help you,” she said. “Whether it’s coaching or matchmaking, we have the extra support some daters need.”