What To Do When Youre A Guys Second Choice

Women's Dating

What to Do When You’re a Guy’s Second Choice

Kara Pound

Written by: Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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This past week, I watched a good 20 hours of the London 2012 Summer Olympics, and I can tell you with certainty that placing second is absolutely nothing like winning first place. It’s the difference between being an Olympic champion and . . . being that other person. So goes the same for being a man’s second choice in love.

But what does it mean to be the runner up? Whether it’s real life or an online dating site, being the “safety” just sucks. So how do you deal with it? What do you do if a man chooses you because his first choice wasn’t interested or available? Is it even a big deal?

The simple answer is yes.

Deal with the situation with grace and dignity.

If you never find out you were his second choice, then don’t worry about it and keep on keepin’ on.

But if you catch wind of the fact that you’re the silver medal winner, then approach your guy and give him a chance to explain himself. If he doesn’t have a good reason, then you should rethink the current status of what you mean to him.

However, if you knew all along that you were never the belle of the ball, then you need to check yourself and ask, “Will he ever care about me the way he cares about her?” The answer is your answer.

Remember that childhood rhyme, “First the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest”? Well, it doesn’t apply here. Don’t waste your time on a man who doesn’t hold you at the forefront.

Sure, the supporting actress can win an Oscar but she’ll never get the same fanfare of a lead. Demand to be the gold medal winner.

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