1 in 3 Daters Admit to Loyalty Testing Partners on Social Media — But Is It Worth It?

Trust is at the heart of every relationship. Though it may look different to different people, it’s fair to say, once trust is breached, most partnerships are never the same. 

Broken trust can lead to insecurity, resentment, suspicion, and the ultimate relationship death sentence: breakups. Mistrust can emerge for a myriad of reasons, typically due to another’s actions or a sudden revelation. 

But these days, daters aren’t waiting for dishonesty to come to them and instead are actively seeking it out. In a recent DatingAdvice.com study, more than 1 in 3 respondents confessed to secretly testing a partner or date on social media for loyalty. Their top motive: suspicion. 

This phenomenon, which is called loyalty testing, has seen a rise in participation, where more partners and singles are playing detective to protect themselves from dishonest daters.

With nearly half of respondents (44%) suspecting they’ve been secretly tested themselves, loyalty testing is quickly becoming a go-to strategy in the modern dating playbook.

In today’s digital age, everyone uses technology in some form to connect and meet, from dating apps to text messaging. This accessibility, though an incredible thing, has also set the stage for mistrust and loyalty testing to take over the dating scene. 

Technology has muddled the dating field, giving daters new ways to hide red flags and subsequently heightening fears of dishonesty in others. And some daters are afraid their partners are using social media to hide their secrets. 

Whether it’s sending flirty DMs or monitoring follower lists, partners are taking trust into their own hands and testing their significant others via social networks to determine their faithfulness. 

According to our study, suspicion is the top driver of loyalty testing across demographics, with 54% of respondents saying it’s the reason behind their testing. Men (62%) were more likely than women (48%) to cite suspicion as their top motivator. 

However, insecurity and experience also played a role. Gen Z was far more likely (43%) to test due to insecurity or curiosity compared to millennials (26%), while millennials tested more often after having a bad experience.

This shows a considerable difference in approaches and mentality toward dating between these two younger generations. 

Digging deeper, our results also revealed what respondents discovered after testing their partner or date. Surprisingly, only 15.6% of men and 9.8% of women found something shady about their partner once or twice. 

On the other hand, 68% of women and 59.5% of men said they discovered nothing concerning. These figures make you think whether loyalty testing is really as necessary as daters may think it is in their quest for love and trust. 

When testing loyalty, nothing is more important than the final grade. Our study shows how a partner fares can make or break a relationship. 

According to the survey responses, 45% of those who reported a failed test said it caused an immediate fight or breakup. However, others showed more grace and gave the relationship another chance, with 55% saying they stayed even after discovering a red flag. 

However, the fallout of the failed test didn’t leave these relationships without wounds. In fact, about a third of daters (31%) revealed that though they stayed, the failed test damaged their relationship. 

Another 26% stayed with their partner and worked through their problems, showing that couples can overcome a breach in trust.  

But sometimes, despite the results, the existence of a loyalty test alone can produce irreparable damage.

Our findings reveal that about 1 in 3 (35%) respondents say a loyalty test — even when passed — still led to conflict, guilt, or a breakup. Those who reported the highest emotional fallout were Gen Z and LGBTQ+ testers, with nearly 4 in 10 saying the test hurt their relationship regardless of the outcome.

The potential consequences attached to loyalty testing may be overlooked in the moment, but can have regrettable pitfalls. Our results tell the story that though a passing grade may seem like the ideal outcome, it may not make much of a difference in helping ease relationship fears.

Mistrust doesn’t appear out of thin air. It often starts off as cracks — maybe in the shape of a little white lie or an omission — that can lead to devastating consequences, including a relationship’s end. 

In the realm of loyalty testing, mistrust can seem like it’s sought after, which can make some people question whether the practice is justifiable. We asked respondents about loyalty testing to assess their feelings on the practice and its justification. 

About 61% of respondents expressed support for loyalty testing and its use in relationship trustworthiness. Comparing this figure to the number of those who opposed, there was a huge gap. Only about 2 in 5 respondents (38%) believed it was never okay to secretly test loyalty. 

Men and women were surprisingly agreeable on the subject, with both appearing morally flexible about the practice. But women were more likely to say the test was justifiable “sometimes,” suggesting more emotional nuance or situational justification on their end. 

Gen Z and LGBTQ+ were the least likely groups to pass judgment on loyalty testing. Only 1 in 3 Gen Z and just over 1 in 4 LGBTQ+ respondents said it’s never justified, scoring the lowest numbers.

These figures paint the reality of loyalty testing and suggest a shift in the dating landscape where suspicion is on the rise among daters, pushing them to feel that secretly testing is necessary to establish trust in their relationships.  

It’s clear that in today’s dating landscape, trust isn’t always assumed, but tested. While the trend of loyalty testing continues to spread online, some daters are realizing the true reality of the practice. While a partner may pass the test with flying colors, relationship bliss isn’t guaranteed on the other side. 

This data is part of a survey conducted by DatingAdvice.com via Pollfish, sampling 1,000 U.S. adults and fielded in March 2025, who currently use or have recently used dating apps. Participants were asked about their behaviors and experiences related to dating and relationships. 

The study captured responses across gender, generation, relationship status, and LGBTQ+ identity, offering a clear lens into the emotional and behavioral undercurrents shaping modern digital dating. The margin of error is ±3.