Don’t Freak Out When Writing a Profile

January 19, 2013
Don’t Freak Out When Writing a Profile

I know it’s intimidating to write your dating profile. A lot of sites try to help you out by instead of giving you just a blank box and saying, “Go put yourself in a box,” they give you some little funky questions to answer.

You may think, “What is this all about?” or “Why does this matter?”

Lesson one of this column begins with this: Think about why dating sites have these questions. They aren’t trying to stump you. It’s not a job interview.

It’s a process to try to get you to reveal interesting things about yourself to potential dates.

This helps create conversation topics that help people communicate and get to know each other, which helps you decide if you want to go on a date. It’s honestly not that complicated.

So when being presented with a topic and blank box, here are the rules:

1. No bitching.

“I don’t know,” “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this” or “How am I supposed to know this?” all say nothing about you to a reader. Why bother typing it?

 

“Coloring outside the lines can

only get you more attention.”

2. Assess the question’s purpose.

What is it trying to reveal about me to people who read my profile? Answer that question.

If eHarmony asks you who the most influential person is outside your parents, it’s not intended to diminish the role your parents play in your life.

It’s to get you talking about less conventional people and how they have affected the person you are.

3. You are never obligated!

If you don’t like what a question asks, write what you WANT to talk about.

OkCupid asks users to mention “the more private thing you’re willing to admit on a dating site.”

It’s asking what you’re willing to admit. It is not requiring you to dive into the scary place in the dark part of your brain to scare off potential dates.

If the most private thing you are willing to admit is you get a solid eight hours of sleep a night, you are entitled to write that!

4. You are never obligated part 2.

If you think a question is stupid, write about whatever you want. There are no judges with score cards or teachers with red pens marking you down for not answering the question.

If it asks you about favorite books and you are a podcast junkie, write about what you like! If you don’t have a favorite hot spot, write about how you can spot poison oak.

Coloring outside the lines in online dating can only get you more attention.

The point is that you say SOMETHING. Good luck, daters.

Photo source: bookmorebrides.com.

Gina is the owner of Expert Online Dating. As an online dating consultant, she helps men and women maximize their online dating experiences to get more dates. You can visit her website, www.ExpertOnlineDating.com, for more information or to contact her. Connect on Google+.

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14 Responses

    These are all good tips. I truly dislike when I see a good picture and common interests on a profile but when I read the free hand sections it has: “I will have to get back on this one” or “just contact me and we can discuss this.”

      C. Price
      Cynthia Price (DatingAdvice.com)

      Henry you bring up a common “dislike” many people online are equally frustrated with. Those who jump online to seek a match are most of the time dedicated enough to search, so why not at least dedicate yourself enough to write a nice profile?

        I know Cynthia, when someone does not take time to fully complete their profile, it makes it hard for me to determine if this person just being lazy or are they a “fake” profile.

      Gina Stewart (DatingAdvice.com)

      Henry, you and me both! It drives me batty. I’ll have future columns devoted to specifically that subject. Hopefully we can rid the online dating world of the noncommittal profile one person at a time! I’m glad you liked the article. :)

        I like the article and this website Gina. I also noticed you have a facebook page. Which is more useful the website or FB page? Do they both have the same content? I was a member of a different website that dealt with online dating that were former members Eharmony Advice. But just last week I had to call the members out for writing extremely negative views about Eharmony that I thought was unjustified.

          Gina Stewart (DatingAdvice.com)

          Well Henry, the DatingAdvice website and the Facebook page have different offerings. DatingAdvice.com has a backlog of tons of articles all written by Experts. The Facebook page often promotes articles from other outlets as well. So determining which has better utility is difficult to factor. If you enjoy and get something out of both, there’s no need to choose!
          But to your point about authorship, you’ll rarely find a uniform opinion on any subject. It’s always important to take advice in consideration of who is writing it, their experience and also their objective. Former employees of eHarmony may be inclined to be biased. I hope this helps, but feel free to con act me with further questions. Good luck!

            Are you a contributor to both the Facebook and the website Gina? I am kind of partial to the website. I like finding the links to the back log of past articles useful. I see Dating Advice.com advertised in banners all over internet recently. How long have you been around? I will be tweaking my dating profiles in anticipation of the Valentines Day rush so I will use all the advice I can get.

            C. Price
            Cynthia Price (DatingAdvice.com)

            Hi Henry, I’ll chime in here for a second. Our Facebook page (like Gina mentioned) is a platform where we share a variety of articles, pictures, statuses, etc. The site is a collection of all things dating. We offer advice columns, Q&A’s, tips, how-to guides and more!

            Gina is a regular expert contributor, I’m glad you enjoy her advice! :)

            With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you’ll definitely see more articles and tips with that topic in mind. Stay tuned!

    I like what you said at the end. Coloring outside the lines. It’s inspiring and creative to think the way you just explained this. IF everyone could be more open to sharing a little bit about themselves it’d be easier to meet the right people online instead of landing a bad first date.

      C. Price
      Cynthia Price (DatingAdvice.com)

      I agree with you Darla! Being creative online is totally acceptable, unlike a resume, you’re allowed to offer as much as you’d like and hold back just the same.

      Gina Stewart (DatingAdvice.com)

      Thanks Darla, One of my favorite things about helping others write their profile is letting them see they can have fun with it and play with different avenues to illustrate things about themselves. I’m glad you found it useful as well!

    Common sense logic!!

    How to Decipher His Online Profile | Dating With Dignity

    [...] Do all men significantly lie about these traits in their profiles? Of course not. Most men are relatively honest within their dating site profiles. [...]

    Hi

    Maybe someone here can shed light on an this. I get quite a few “views”, ladies make me a “favourite”, but when I respond by mail, they either just disappear or will still keep popping in and having a look ??????

    The other point is I am completely honest, maybe fibbing a bit will get me further?

    Rich

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