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Men are led to believe they have to do the “courting” in a traditional heteronormative relationship. From the outset, we are set up for rejection from women — some of us get used to it, others refuse to accept it and a few of us work out how to get around it.
When it comes to meeting girls and trying to get a date, most men are trying too hard and most women have had enough.
Remember that girl in the supermarket you cold-called at the veggie stand? You were the third guy in that store to make some cheesy comment that was supposed to be a pickup line.
What about the sexy one in the nightclub who cold-shouldered you? She hadn’t even seen you before you appeared behind her, gyrating like an epileptic stalker.
And who could forget the gorgeous thing in the yoga class who has seen you staring at her every week and getting a little closer to her mat every class? Yea, she’s freaked out by you.
If you are trying to get girls to go on dates with you, then you’re trying too hard.
If you go out on the weekends just to pick up girls, then you’re trying too hard.
If you are pretending to be someone you’re not when you meet women, then you’re trying too hard.
Desperation stinks.
And girls have a very keen sense of smell.
An aggressive approach with women is a turn-off. Even if you are having some success, it is probably not that satisfying and rarely turns into a relationship you want to be in.
Here’s my advice: Stop chasing and start working out who you are.
Remember, you are never going to be everyone’s favorite flavor, which is a good thing because now you have the chance to pick up your batting average with fewer strikeouts.
“When you decide to approach awoman, be calm, be cool, be polite.”
Flip it around: Get the girls to come to you.
How? By being sure of who you are and by knowing what style and energy you want to give off.
You see, girls have a “type” – just like you have a “type.” Decide what type you want to be and be that type.
Some girls like suits. Some like geeks. Some like rockers. And others like goths. Work on your strengths and change your game around.
Start working on you.
Do this rather than working to get a girl to go out with you. Stop worrying about how you can convince a girl to give in and start working on being the best version of you that you can be.
Don’t try to be all things to all women. Just be the right thing to the right women.
Relax. Be confident in who you are. Be clean. Be a gentleman. Be a man. Be your own man.
And when you do decide to approach a woman, be calm, be cool, be polite…and then walk away with your dignity intact.
If she likes you, she will make sure you know it.
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