A Sex-Positive Dating App for Exploration on Your Own Terms

The Short Version: Sex-positive dating app Flure is bringing modern daters the features they need to make safe and authentic connections. Leah Borovaya, Head Technical Strategist, and Catherine Drysdale, Community Manager, talked to us about the inspiration behind the app and what users can gain from a sex-positive dating experience.

You’ve probably heard the term sex-positivity, but what does it actually mean? 

The term is used frequently in the dating and relationship world, and the growing popularity of the term shows how attitudes about sex– and talking about it– are changing. Sex positivity advocates for open, respectful, and educated attitudes toward sex and sexuality, and this manifests in many ways.

Sex positivity centers on consent, diversity, and awareness, and stands in opposition to the shame and silence that often appears around sex. 

Instead of casting sex and sexuality as something shameful, sex positivity empowers people with the information and language they need to develop healthier attitudes toward sex and have more fulfilling sexual experiences.

By reducing the stigma around sex, sex positivity also encourages better sexual and mental health. Sex positivity has made the dating scene more inclusive, safe, and navigable. Leah Borovaya is the Head Technical Strategist for Flure, a sex-positive dating app designed for pleasure. 

We talked to Leah and Catherine Drysdale, the Community Manager for Flure, about sex-positivity and how Flure is taking hold of the movement to provide daters with a safe, simple, and inclusive online platform. On Flure, users can find new connections and express themselves on their own terms.

“Sex-positive apps are niche apps,” Leah said. “We wanted to build a go-to app for any sex-positive person who wants to join the dating game, and we wanted to bring the best experience possible– the app should look great, work great, and be the best community attraction point.”

The inspiration for Flure was to create a platform where users could explore authentically and safely. Much of the online dating scene is laser-focused on setting up matches. Flure is certainly seeking to connect people in search of fulfilling relationships, but Leah said it’s about more than that.

“It’s important for any person who’s looking for any kind of relationship to figure out who they are,” Leah said. “Having a playground to do that safely, and build self-understanding, in a sex-positive environment, is huge. It’s about finding partners, but also about finding yourself.”

Self-exploration is an essential aspect of the dating experience. Dating teaches you about other people and the intricacies of relationships, but it also teaches you about yourself. We all show up differently in relationships, and having the room to discover what feels right– and not right– is invaluable.

Along with serving as the Community Manager, Catherine is also a sex and relationship coach. “This is part of the reason I was so excited to be working with Flure because our missions are so deeply aligned,” she said. “As a coach, you lead clients on a self-discovery journey of their sexuality.”

Catherine said Flure makes this self-discovery journey simpler. “Flure is designed for people to learn about themselves, too,” Catherine said. “It has the features that make exploring sex-positivity even easier.”

Leah and Catherine said Flure users don’t have to worry about being judged or outed for their desires and what brings them pleasure. Stepping into a sex-positive dating app for the first time can be overwhelming for people who have never been in a similar environment. 

Flure has various privacy features that allow users to control their level of anonymity and use the app at their own comfort level.

Flure welcomes daters looking for a fling, a relationship, or a community. The app is inclusive of people of all sexualities, sexual orientations, and gender identities, and welcomes single users as well as couples. 

Catherine said creating an inclusive and safe app starts at registration. “We have selfie verification, so we can make sure we have real people on the app,” she said. “Beyond that, we want people to feel safe to explore themselves as they truly are.”

The safety messaging mode is one way Flure keeps users safe. Once a match has been made, users can choose to toggle off safety mode to allow sexy or spicy pics or messages to be sent. This feature engrains consent into the messaging system.

“I think this feature is especially important for women, fem-presenting, and non-binary users,” Catherine said. “It protects users from unsolicited dick pics or inappropriate messaging. Oftentimes, that kind of consent isn’t built into apps. It can be a little muddy.”

Online dating can get exhausting when you’re constantly receiving unsolicited messages from users you’re not interested in. Few apps give users as much control over who they speak to and who sees their profile as Flure, giving users the safety they need to be authentic.

Flure is proud to serve non-monogamous and polyamorous singles, daters, and communities. “We cater to a lot of folks in the non-monogamous and poly communities, and a lot of our users fall within that realm,” Catherine said. “You can link your profile with as many partners as you choose.”

Like many mainstream dating apps, users can swipe through profiles, make matches, and start chatting. The Flare Sparks feature gets conversations started among users. The icebreaker feature includes a variety of questions, from vanilla queries to prompts about sexual fantasies. 

Flure users can use the app’s extensive features to make a dating experience that works for them. Users can add their sexuality, relationship preference, and gender identity to their profile, along with any other information they want other users to know.

Sex education is a vital aspect of sex-positivity. Individuals can only embrace sex-positivity in its fullness once they have the information and resources they need to understand their own sexual experiences, and the kind of sexual experiences they’re looking for in the future.

Catherine said Flure is focusing on improving its sex education outreach as the app grows. “We’re trying to integrate sex education throughout, whether it’s social media content or in-person events,” she told us. “We have community events in New York City, and we partner with sex trivia workshops and kinky play parties.”

The team at Flure is dedicated to its user base and is always adapting to the developing needs of that base. Leah said the team is responsive to user feedback and wants to hone features to be as useful to users as possible.

“Once we hear someone doesn’t like a feature, or needs another feature, we hear that,” Leah said. “We’re trying to adapt to all the needs of the community we’re catering to. When we get negative feedback, it’s a sign that we need to implement changes.”

Flure brings the modern dating scene useful features, top-tier safety and security features, and a development team that listens to the needs of its users. If you’re at the beginning of a journey of self-exploration, stepping into the game can be intimidating.

“If you’ve only done vanilla dating in the past, or maybe you’re just starting to explore sex positivity, I think Flure is a great place to start your journey,” Catherine said. “Everyone’s upfront about their desires, and you can be honest about who you are and what you’re looking for.”