How To Keep A Lesbian Woman Interested

Lesbian Dating

How to Keep a Lesbian Woman Interested

Dr. Frankie
Dr. Frankie Posted:

When you find that woman you are interested in, you want her to be interested in you too, right? And, if you two happen to hit it off and you want to continue in a relationship, keeping her happy and interested in you is key to having an exciting, loving, and healthy one that lasts.

If you are wondering how to do that, keep reading and you will wonder no more. Here are my five tips for getting a lesbian woman and keeping her interested for years to come:

1. Compliment Her in the Right Way

Being complimented always tends to feel good. Compliments can help her feel attractive and appreciated by you. Complimenting her about her unique qualities can be especially meaningful.

For instance, you can say, “I’m so impressed by how much time and effort you are putting into work and school. Your dedication is inspiring to me.” Or you can say something like, “I love that you are such a great listener. You make it so easy for me to open up and honestly talk to you.”

Compliments like this let her know that you are paying attention to her and noticing things about her that make her special.

Photo of a lesbian couple

Compliment her on things that make her special and unique.

However, compliments can backfire, too. If you are constantly complimenting her, she may feel as if your words are insincere, needy, or even manipulative. Or, if you are only complimenting her on one thing, then she may start to think that that is the only reason you are with her.

For instance, if you only give her compliments about her appearance, then she may start to think that you are only with her because of her looks.

Try to find a balance when you give her compliments.

2. Don’t Ever Take Her for Granted

Even if you have been with her for years, do not take her for granted. Try your best every day to show or tell her how much she means to you. Do something nice for her every day just because. You don’t always need a specific reason to do something nice.

Do not think that just because she is with you that she does not still need to be shown love, affection, and appreciation by you.

Photo of a sad lesbian couple

Neglecting your partner can breed anger and resentment.

If she happens to be someone who does a lot for you and the relationship, it can be easy for some partners to get complacent and even start to think things like, “She loves me so much that she would never leave me.” Some partners start to slack off on putting effort into the relationship and giving their partner attention now that they have them.

This can breed resentment and anger in her over time if you do this. And, ultimately, she may lose interest in staying with someone who does not seem to care about her any longer.

3. Bring on the Romance

To maintain those loving feelings for one another, a little romance needs to be brought into the picture. Some women like to be surprised with romantic gestures like sending flowers to their office just because it is a random Tuesday.

Photo of lesbian couple at a lake

Whether it’s a big or small gesture, show her you care.

Others want to be swept off their feet and whisked away on a spontaneous weekend getaway. Or, on a smaller scale, you could write loving messages on Post-Its that you place randomly all over the house before you leave for the day for her to find after she wakes up.

Whatever romantic gesture you choose to do, the important thing is to think about what would help her to feel special and loved. What would help maintain her level of desire in this relationship? What would help her maintain her level of security in the relationship? And so on.

4. Get Physical

When I say “get physical,” I am not just referring to sex here. While sex is important, what is even more important in a relationship is to show her how much you care in your actions as well as your words.

Photo of lesbian couple holding hands

I’m not just talking about sex — I’m talking about small physical acts like holding her hand.

Being affectionate with kisses, hand-holding, small back rubs, or placing your hand on her leg while sitting next to one another, for example, can be very reassuring.

You will know if the woman you are with is comfortable and likes to be affectionate in public or prefers to save that for when you two are alone. Ask her what she prefers, and then do what is best for both of you.

5. Help Her Feel Safe and Secure

She needs to feel both safe and secure if you want a truly happy and healthy relationship.

It’s important to let her know that you are still thinking about her even when you’re not together. A few quick texts or a short phone call sometime in the day just to say hi or ask how her day is going will help her know that she is on your mind and that you care about her.

It is important to keep your promises so she can trust and rely on you. If you tell her you are going to do something or be somewhere, you need to follow through. And, if something comes up that keeps you from being able to do something or be somewhere, you need to let her know as soon as you can.

Photo of lesbian couple hugging

Even one white lie will make her feel unsafe with you.

Don’t lie. Not even a small lie. Once she knows that you are capable of lying at all to her, this can forever break her ability to feel safe and secure with you. Try to think about how you would feel if she lied to you.

It’s Easy to Find a Relationship — It’s Keeping It That’s Hard

Anyone can meet someone and start a relationship, but if you want to try and have a great relationship, you do need to put in the extra effort. If you are lucky enough to find an amazing woman with whom you want to have a strong relationship, try doing these five things to get and keep her interest until the end of time.