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The other day was a sad day. I discovered a friend of a friend’s husband on a dating site.
While I don’t know them well enough to know the nature of his relationship, he’s very much a married man not doing a very good job trying to get away with something sneaky.
But he’s not the first married man to join a dating site and not the last. A lot of women find out too late that their online sweetie is a man who’s already taken.
Here are some ways you can help protect your heart.
Married men hate to post pics of themselves online, so they either post no pictures or use pictures that don’t show their faces – think pictures with their back to the camera, pictures with just their body showing, pictures where his face looks very poorly lit/silhouetted.
If he offers to email you better pics, why wouldn’t he have just posted them in the first place? It’s because he needs to control who could potentially recognize his mug.
He may say it’s because he’s a very high visibility businessman and doesn’t want his employees or business associates seeing him. You’ve been warned!
His profile was up for a minute after he contacted you but only for a brief time. Everything looked great, but then it’s gone and he wants to move your communication offline or to normal email asap.
He doesn’t want to take the chance of leaving his profile up and being recognized by who knows who. While this isn’t a smoking gun, it’s a red flag.
Some dating apps are specific to the cell phone. These apps make it very easy for a man to hide his online dating activity from a spouse or partner if it’s limited to his cell phone.
“If you’re dating a guy who is transparent,
it’s a great indicator he’s not married.”
His dating profile may be a little sparse, but as you get to know him, is he evasive of details about his life like his address, name of his employer and even his last name?
If he’s not willing to offer up details about his life to you, it’s a red flag. You can do some Googling to make sure what he says about himself matches what he puts online.
Background checks are your friend, girl.
Is he only available during business hours to talk? Are your conversations only on his lunch break? His drive home? Is he unreachable to speak outside of work hours? Men who rely heavily on texting is also a clue.
Pay attention to patterns. If you suspect something, try changing it up and see what happens to his availability. See what your name is saved as on his phone. If it’s anything other than your name, he could be hiding you from someone.
As relationships grow, you should have access to his friends, family and coworkers. If this man doesn’t ever introduce them to you, it’s very suspicious.
Is scheduling time together very difficult? He’ll likely blame his career.
This man will probably have planted the seed early on that he has a very demanding career. It will require a lot of his time and attention. It will be his consistent excuse for not being available.
A married man will often only go out to places not in his neighborhood or on his side of town.
Or if you only spend time at your place alone and never go to or sleep at his place, he’s trying to avoid running into people he knows or who know him and can rat him out.
If you’re dating a guy who is transparent about everything, his words and his actions match, you meet his friends and are involved in many aspects of his life outside of you, it’s a great indicator he’s not married.
Did you ever meet a guy online who ended up already married?