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Our online dating experts have explored the ins and outs of the swiping scene, and we’ve put together some eharmony tips to make things a little easier on relationship-driven singles.
Founded in 2000, eharmony is a well-respected name in the dating industry — most of us have seen the commercials and/or recognize Co-Founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren, who came up with the idea to use psychology and online matchmaking to strengthen relationships.
For the last 20 years, the eharmony team has honed and perfected its formula for helping singles find love — without wasting time on incompatible dates. Thanks to eharmony, singles can enjoy a hassle-free dating experience, and we have a few insider tips to help newcomers find hot dates, new friends, and long-term companions here. Take our advice and make the best possible start in the online dating scene.
From the beginning, eharmony has one of the most in-depth registration processes of any dating website or app, but don’t let that scare you off. It shouldn’t take too long to complete (maybe 20 minutes or so) and it’s fun to explore different aspects of your personality and determine what you want in a potential partner. Whether you’re using a desktop, laptop, smartphone, or tablet, we’ll walk you through how to fly through the signup without missing a beat.
Registering for eharmony starts by going to the homepage, or downloading the dating app on iTunes, or Google Play.
When setting up your eharmony account, you’ll choose your gender (male or female are the only options) and the gender you want to date (you can choose male, female, or both). Then you must type in your first name and zip code, select your country, and provide your email address and password. This will create a basic free membership that is open to all singles over 18 and is good for the rest of your life.
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Not only does this membership allow you to register for free — but it also allows you to take the 32 Dimensions® of Compatibility Matching Quiz, receive a personality assessment, send virtual winks, get match suggestions sent to your inbox, and message with matches during special events and holidays.
The eharmony personality test may seem long to you, but it’s actually much shorter than it used to be. The Relationship Questionnaire includes about 80 questions, all focused on who you are and what you want in life. Taking the quiz is optional, but you must complete it once you start, so make sure you have some time on your hands and be honest as you go through it — because eharmony will use that information to bring you compatible matches.
The Compatibility Quiz works off a 32-dimension personality profile, and its topics range from lifestyle habits to the best words to describe yourself and how strongly you agree or disagree with certain statements. It’s all multiple-choice questions created by psychologists and dating experts. You can learn more about the kinds of questions eharmony asks here.
The eharmony dating site is a data-driven space where singles can find common ground. All of the information you provide during the Compatibility Quiz part will appear on your dating profile, and the matchmaking algorithm will put together a compatibility rating based on your temperament, family values, and other factors.
In addition to the compatibility breakdown, the eharmony profile has several open-ended sections where single men and women can really let their personality shine and describe themselves in their own words. Here’s some tips for putting together a good online dating profile on eharmony.
Few things will blow your chances with an online match than grammar and spelling mistakes. Think you can get away with one or two? Think again. The writing enhancement platform Grammarly says if you’re a guy, you’ll be 14% less likely to get a response.
If you have a family member, friend, or colleague with a good eye, ask them to look over your profile for you. It’s also worth using tools like Grammarly — most of them are free!
Uploading one photo to your profile is basically telling potential matches “This is all you need to know about me, and if this one thing doesn’t catch your eye, feel free to move on.” Obviously, I mean figuratively, not literally, but either way, why would you want to do that? You’ve got one-tenth of a second to make a good impression, and one photo probably isn’t going to do it.
We’d recommend uploading at least four: a portrait, a full-body shot, an action photo, and something quirky. Choosing your favorites could be something fun to do with your friends. If you don’t have a lot of photos of yourself, check out companies like LookBetterOnline, which boasts that it can help you get four times more attention on your profile.
I know you love traveling, trying new foods, hanging out with your family, friends, and pets, and watching movies and TV, but practically everyone else in the world loves these things, too. You need to find ways to make yourself stand out and let potential dates know what you bring to the table that no one else does.
When describing yourself, you should provide juicy details that are quintessentially you. Don’t just list your interests and hobbies — explain why you love them or share a memory that means something to you.
For example, “I’m a big travel junkie because my dad was in the armed services, so I never stayed anywhere for too long. It was great getting to live in different cities and experience different cultures, and I still enjoy doing that today.”
While it’s great to go into detail, you should also try to leave a little mystery and keep your dating profile brief (remember that one-tenth of a second). No need to write a biography here. Think about how you read things online — you probably scan most of it, right? People do the same thing on dating profiles, so if you write what seems like a Proust novel, you’re going to lose your readers.
When you’re a new eharmony member, you’ll receive a lot of attention because you’re starting with a clean slate. One way to maintain this momentum is to keep your profile looking so fresh and so clean. That will draw people to it.
You can give your dating profile a face-lift simply by clicking the Edit button. Switch some photos out, reword some of your profile or add new details, expand your location and age range by even a few miles or years. Doing so is a signal to eharmony that you’re an active member, which means you’re likely to get more match recommendations in your inbox.
We’d say eharmony’s messaging system is just as unique as every other aspect of the site, and it makes starting a conversation, keeping it going, and taking it to the next level really easy. Take advantage of these tips, and it’ll be smooth sailing.
The eharmony Open Communication feature allows you to chat as you would on most other dating websites (if that’s what you’re most comfortable with), and you can get right to it by clicking Fast Track. However, if you’re nervous about that first contact and aren’t sure what to say, the site offers Guided Communication. With this feature, you can send a few getting-to-know-you questions that eharmony provides as well as 10 must-haves and can’t-stands.
For more information, we have an article that explains everything you could ever want or need to know about Guided Communication and other ways you can chat with your fellow members.
Yes, eharmony has millions of members. Yes, it can be overwhelming. No, that doesn’t mean you should send the same copy/pasted message to a bunch of different people — you’re better than that. Whenever you think about doing this, remember how annoying it is to receive canned emails from people and companies. You can almost smell how disingenuous they are.
You can still have a formula for your messages, though. In fact, we even recommend it, especially for the first message. What you’ll want to do is mention something specific from their profile that you like, make the connection between that thing and you, and end with a call to action (i.e. a question or date invite).
People love talking about themselves — it’s science. That’s how you can kick things off with a match. They’ll probably ask you questions in return, so try to keep a good balance (not talking about yourself too much but also not treating them like an interviewee). You’ll also enjoy the convo more if you ask questions that you honestly want to hear the answers to.
I’ll admit that there are plenty of nights when I go to sleep at 10, and I know I’m not the only one. Don’t lose track of the time when you start communicating with someone. They might have to be at work at some crazy hour like 6 a.m. Or there might be a time difference. Or they might just like to sleep through the night without getting a notification from eharmony (aka you).
I’m not saying you can’t have some fun late-night messaging — that’s one of the best parts of the early dating stages. But ask them how they feel about it and if they have a cutoff they prefer. Such polite gestures can be nice ways to set boundaries early on and make sure you’re not imposing too much on a person’s time.
We’re not going to leave you hanging once you meet a special person. We’ve got some steps you can take to ensure your time offline is just as enjoyable as your time online.
Coffee, drinks, ice cream, walks — doing something short and casual is a great way to remove some of the pressure that comes with first dates. Not to mention, if you’re not feeling it (or they’re not), it’ll be over soon and you’ll be on your way. You won’t have to sit through happy hour, dinner, and dessert knowing this person isn’t right for you. If you think they are right for you, a short first date is a good teaser for the second. The anticipation will be palpable!
Meeting at the bar, restaurant, park, or wherever is the smart way to go. Remember, you don’t actually know this person, even if you’ve been chatting for weeks and it feels like you do. I’m not saying your date is Michael Myers or something, but what if he is? Seriously, though, people have been taken advantage of or hurt because they trusted someone they had just met, if you count online as meeting.
Not only do we recommend not having the person pick you up (or you picking them up), we also recommend telling a friend or family member where you’ll be, what time you’ll be there, and who you’ll be with. That way, if something happens, they can help or at least are aware that you should be checking in with them.
It sounds corny to suggest you be yourself, but it’s honestly the truth. Some people get so worried about impressing their dates that they become a totally different person. This is just another human being, so treat them as you would a friend — cracking jokes, asking for their opinion, listening to their stories, providing your feedback, etc. Exaggerating who you are can be tiring work as well. You’ll feel as if you always have to be on in front of them, and no relationship should be like that.
I really do believe most singles are at the point where they don’t want to play games anymore. Waiting three days after a date to call someone or responding at least an hour later to a text so you don’t come off as desperate is manipulative and a waste of time.
People appreciate authenticity and honesty, so if you enjoyed their company and want to see them again, simply tell them. There’s nothing wrong with talking about the second date on the first date if you both feel the chemistry.
These days, singles are surrounded by potential date options at all times, so if you play games or hesitate, then your love interest may move on to someone else, and you’ll be back to square one on eharmony. We don’t want to see that happen, so we’d recommend following up within 12 hours of your first date to make sure you’re both feeling good about continuing your connection.
Over the past two decades, eharmony has gone through enough trial and error to learn what singles want, so you’re already off to a great start just by signing up.
The eharmony match algorithm, in-depth profile, and icebreakers can be helpful to singles seeking true love and companionship, and it makes it easier to identify single people who meet or exceed your standards. However, no online dating site or app can do all the work for you, so make sure to take heed of these eharmony tips to make sure your dating experience is the best it can be. Good luck!