So much time goes into forming a serious relationship. I know my fiancé better than anyone else, and that’s because of the sheer amount of time we’ve spent together. When we first met, though, I just thought he was funny and worth getting to know better.
A simple good impression can make a lasting difference in your love life. But it takes time, emotional readiness, and a little luck to get to that point. Long before you commit to someone, you have to get through the first date.
And while first dates can (and should be) a lot of fun, they can also be intimidating. It’s easy to make a bad impression on someone based on a misunderstanding or by simply playing it too safe.
Read on to learn about real daters’ first date experiences and opinions so you can figure out what works for you.
1. The Average Date Costs $189
Dating isn’t cheap. According to CNBC, the average date costs $1891, including food and drinks, transportation, activities, and getting ready.
I do think there’s a possibility that “getting ready” could mean several things, all with very different price tags. If you get your nails done specifically to go on a date, I think that factors into the total cost. But how do you measure the cost of makeup or cologne you use on every date?
Still, $189 is a big sum, especially when you consider those active daters going on multiple dates a month. In this economy? It makes sense that many people are choosing to be single and not date at all2.
2. At $252, Millennials Spend the Most on a First Date
People in different age groups have different budgets and dating priorities, so spending on a first date varies by generation. Millennials, by far, spend the most on dating, averaging $252 per date1.
| Generation | Average Spend on a First Date |
|---|---|
| Gen Z | $205 |
| Millennials | $252 |
| Gen X | $173 |
| Baby Boomers | $126 |
It makes sense that millennials spend a bit more on their dates than other generations. While Gen Xers and baby boomers are often locked into their dating habits or going out with long-term partners, many millennials are still dating new people.
It also helps that they earn more money than their younger Gen Z counterparts3 and can afford more expensive date options.
3. About Half (49%) of Daters Have Left a Date Because of Their Date’s Bad Behavior
The whole point of a first date is to assess shared compatibility and determine if it’s worth moving forward. Sometimes you don’t need a lot of time to decide that it’s a big nope.
Unfortunately, many dates don’t make it that far because of one party’s bad behavior. Our study found that 49% of people say they’ve left a date due to the bad behavior of the person they met4.
“Bad behavior” can mean a lot of things. There’s the truly nasty or abusive side of the spectrum, like sexually harassing the date, but there are other rude actions that will give a date the ick. Being rude to a server. Arriving drunk. Mocking their date.
The takeaway here is pretty simple: Be a decent person at all times, but especially on dates.
4. Nearly 3 in 4 Men Expect to Pay on a First Date
We’ve come a long way toward gender equality. But when it comes to first dates — especially in heterosexual relationships — traditional gender norms still win out. CNBC found that 71% of men go into first dates expecting to foot the bill5.
Modern first date etiquette depends, in large part, on how the date was set up, how old the daters are, and who asked for the date.
Generally speaking, you should expect to pay if you ask someone out, and be prepared to split the bill either way. Men are more likely than women to ask someone out, which means that men often go out prepared to pay.
5. When Asked Out, 30% Admit to Saying “Yes” for the Free Meal
Not everyone goes into dating with the same intentions, which is totally fine. That’s what first dates are for! But of course, some people don’t exactly show up in good faith. According to our survey data, 30% of people admitted to agreeing to a first date just to get a free meal1. Yikes!
Look, I’m not here to judge people, but hopefully those individuals looking for a freebie were also open to forming a romantic connection. Maybe they were on the fence about a match, but the idea of a chicken parm and a glass of wine made the idea of going on a first date more exciting.
You don’t have to have serious marriage intentions going into a first date. But hopefully the free meal isn’t the only enticing part. It isn’t a good idea to use people as a meal ticket and waste their time.
6. Another 29% Have Walked Out Due to Misleading Pictures
People justify ditching a first date for a number of reasons. Catfishing is a big one. In our survey, 29% of daters said they’ve walked out of a date after realizing that their date’s profile pictures had been misleading5.
Singles over 55 were particularly sensitive to outdated or misleading photos and were willing to leave the date and block the connection over it.
This might not even be an instance of using fake photos or AI photos. A lot of older singles are tempted to use photos from maybe 10 or 15 years ago6. It’s hard to admit that a smiling college pic isn’t an accurate representation of you anymore.
When setting up your dating profile, consider having a friend look it over and tell you if it’s an honest look at who you are. That way, you’ll only attract matches who are interested in you as you are right now.
7. Most Americans (70%) Would Go on a Fast-Food First Date
Dates may be expensive on average, but they don’t have to be. DatingNews.com found that 73% of men and 67% of women said they’d be willing to go on a first date at a fast food restaurant7. With a fast food date, you can easily keep the cost under $20.
Chick-fil-A, Raising Cane’s, and In-N-Out Burger were the top picks for dates.
If this is the route you plan to go, make sure you find a way to still create a positive date atmosphere. Getting Chipotle bowls to-go and bringing them to the park creates a much better first impression than ordering fast food and eating it in your car.
And if you can find a local affordable option — even if it’s fast food — that will probably look better than a national chain like McDonald’s.
8. More Than 2 in 3 Americans (68%) Would Kiss on a First Date
Wondering if you should try for a kiss on a first date? It turns out, most people will be open to it. According to one study, 68% of Americans said they’re up for kissing on the first date8. With the right person.
I want to be clear that this doesn’t mean it’s OK to assume kissing on a first date is a sure thing. The vibe isn’t always right. Assess your chemistry, and, if you’re questioning it, ask.
Romantic chemistry can be hard to find, and those feelings can be very strong when it’s there. So when you do both feel it, there’s nothing wrong with going for a little kiss!
9. Dinner Is the Most Popular First Date Choice, at 30.3%
When you picture a first date, you probably imagine a couple out at dinner. And there’s a reason for that: Dinner is truly the most popular first date option, coming in at 30.3% of all first dates9.
Dinner gives you a sufficient amount of time to settle into a conversation and get to know your date. You’re showing that you’re willing to give them a good amount of time and attention, and you can signal if things are going well by saying “yes” to dessert or telling the waiter “no rush.”
Plus, you get to try out new restaurants, which always makes for a fun evening, no matter how the date ends up.
10. Coffee Dates Follow Close Behind, at 23.7%
Dinner dates may be the most popular type of first date, but coffee dates are a close second. Shane Co. found that 23.7% of all first dates are coffee dates12.
Some people think of coffee dates as more pre-date interviews with people they met online. It’s a testing ground to see if the chemistry is there.
Coffee is a much lower financial and time investment than a full dinner10, making it easier for online daters to set up multiple first dates within a week or month. And if it’s a clear “no” upon meeting, they don’t have to suffer through multiple courses before politely leaving.
Afternoon coffee dates are also a great option for sober singles or those who are more concerned about their safety at night.
11. Just 12.3% of Couples Go Out for Drinks
Singles go out for drinks 12.3% of the time on a first date12. Drinks are probably the flirtiest first date option. It’s casual, with a low time commitment.
You’re usually going out at night, and having a cocktail or glass of wine can make it a bit easier to get over those first date jitters.
Drink dates are also easier to extend. If you’re having a good time, you can always go to another bar or even meet up with friends together. It feels less formal than a sit-down dinner.
I know going out for drinks can be tempting as a social lubricant, but keep in mind that drinking too much won’t make a good impression…and it could put your safety at risk if you’re a woman going out with a man you don’t really know.
As you get to know someone, it’s best to maintain a level of sobriety that lets you make good judgments and stay present in the moment11.
12. Three-Quarters (73%) of Daters Prefer Weekend First Dates
This statistic surprised me more than anything else: 73% of daters would rather have their first dates on weekends than week nights12.
Weekend dates do give you more time to prepare for the date and recover the following day. You have more space between the work week, so your mind is less on work stress and more on enjoying yourself.
first dates on the weekend.
But most of my friends actually prefer to plan first dates on weekdays and reserve the weekends for their hobbies and hanging out with friends or family. Weekend time is too hot a commodity for them to waste on a stranger.
If you like your weekend dates, who am I to stop you? But I’d say you will probably face fewer crowds (and maybe some weekday specials or discounts) if you decide to go out on a Tuesday or Wednesday instead.
13. Over Half (55.7%) of Gen Z Wants to be Asked Out IRL
Everyone loves to talk about how young people are always on their phones, but it turns out that even Gen Z still prefers to be asked out in person. Shane Co. found that 55.7% of Gen Z would rather be asked out in person than by text or phone call12.
This is an even higher percentage than millennials, who came in at 52.5%12.
| Generation | Percentage Wanting to Be Asked Out In Person |
|---|---|
| Gen Z | 55.70% |
| Millennials | 52.50% |
| Gen X | 64.0% |
| Baby Boomers | 66.2% |
Gen Z is, of course, still absolutely dating online12 and asking each other out online. But maybe that’s more out of convenience than preference. Singles in my generation seem to crave serendipity and organic meetings in person, perhaps precisely because they’re so rare these days.
If you want to get asked out in person, you’ve got to put yourself in situations where that can happen. Join clubs and activities. Get off your phone when you’re in a public space. And be the change you want to see in the world: Shoot your shot!
14. On Average, It Takes About 6 Dates to Become Exclusive
You might feel so ready to have those serious talks and make it official on the first date, but that’s not actually the norm. Far from it.
Statistically speaking, when do you go from “going on dates” to “dating?” After about the sixth date, on average13. That’s when most couples decide whether to become exclusive, which for most (but not all) people means deleting their dating profiles and getting in a serious relationship.
By this time, you’ve usually kissed, and you’ve possibly had sex. You know how many siblings they have and the broad outline of their dating history. The feelings are there, and the commitment is the last piece of the puzzle.
"If you are dating someone, and not just hooking up, then in France it is assumed that it is exclusive. From the start, pretty much." -Reddit user
It’s important to note that different people and cultures have different norms around the relationship escalator, as some call it. In France, for example, exclusivity is often assumed if there’s any indication you want to keep seeing someone, while in the U.S., most couples assume they’re not exclusive until they have a clear conversation to the contrary.
If you aren’t sure about your relationship status, it’s best to have a direct conversation about it with your partner.
15. About Half (49%) of Daters Don’t Follow up After a First Date for Fear of Seeming Too Eager
Communication is so important early in a relationship, and yet many daters limit their communication out of insecurity. According to Hinge, 49% of daters have foregone following up after a good date simply because they didn’t want to scare the other person off14.
Meanwhile, plenty of those dates were probably dealing with the same anxiety!
There is some sound logic behind not wanting to come on too strong. Bombard your date with texts, calls, and plans to hang out, and you genuinely might scare them off. BUT it’s also easy to turn them off by not being clear about where you stand and how you feel. Your lack of communication could be a dealbreaker too.
So what’s the right answer? It’s situational, but my rule of thumb for mature single adults is: If you want to text the person, text the person. Once. Then wait for a reply to be sure that they’re interested too.
First Dates Are What You Make Them
You can’t guarantee that every first date will go great… and I say that’s a good thing. It’s the accidental slips and odd awkward moments that can make for a better story. You’re not looking for perfection, you’re looking for compatibility.
And first dates can be a great time, even if they don’t lead to love. Try to go into first dates with curiosity and be open to enjoying the experience, no matter what it gives you. When you focus on right now rather than get caught up in what might be later, you’ll find you have a much better time.
- https://www.cnbc.com/2026/05/23/date-flation-average-millennial-date-costs-252.html ↩︎
- https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/wholeness/a65479685/why-women-are-single-by-choice/ ↩︎
- https://medium.com/write-a-catalyst/millennials-are-on-track-to-be-richer-than-everyone-expected-ca7b13d1e2d8 ↩︎
- https://www.datingadvice.com/studies/leaving-a-date-early-survey ↩︎
- https://www.cnbc.com/2026/05/23/date-flation-average-millennial-date-costs-252.html ↩︎
- https://medium.com/eros-is-everywhere/my-tinder-misadventures-my-match-used-old-photos-ab9e89154cba ↩︎
- https://www.datingnews.com/industry-trends/fast-food-first-dates-2/ ↩︎
- https://www.wane.com/news/national-world/study-finds-68-of-american-singles-would-kiss-on-first-date/ ↩︎
- https://www.shaneco.com/theloupe/jewelry-education/love-relationships/first-date-preferences ↩︎
- https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/coffee-dates-favoured-over-romantic-230100520.html ↩︎
- https://www.businessinsider.com/gen-zers-are-leading-a-sober-dating-revolution-2024-7 ↩︎
- https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-app-fatigue/ ↩︎
- https://www.mic.com/life/are-couples-becoming-monogamous-too-fast-16340951 ↩︎
- https://hinge.co/newsroom/follow-through-formula ↩︎
