Short Man Dating Tips

Men's Dating

Short King Dating Tips

Hunt Ethridge

Written by: Hunt Ethridge

Hunt Ethridge

Hunt Ethridge is the co-founder and CMO of the MatchmakingAcademy.com as well as senior advisor and board of directors at other firms. He has been featured in well over 100 media sources and currently "coach on record" for most of the top matchmaking firms in the U.S. and internationally. You can follow him on Instagram or Clubhouse.

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Edited by: Jon McCallister

Jon McCallister

Jon came to DatingAdvice in 2016 with more than 15 years of editorial experience behind him. He has experience editing, writing, and designing at numerous publications, including the Gainesville Sun. Jon enjoys researching emerging trends and seeking out the companies, organizations, and individuals making an impact in the modern world of dating. He excels at working closely with writers and editors to improve the quality of online content.

Reviewed by: Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com.

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Discuss This! Discuss This!

While we can alter and improve almost every aspect of ourselves, the one thing we’re pretty stuck with is our height. And the media doesn’t help with its depiction of the ideal man as “tall, dark, and handsome.”

Even small male actors like Tom Cruise and Daniel Radcliffe are presented as tall. Tom Cruise’s 5-foot-7-inches frame appears scaled up to look much more prominent in his action movies. But a real-life man can’t count on movie magic to help him woo women in high heels, and it can feel daunting out there!  What’s a short king to do?

Before we get into it, I would like to submit an example. Christie Brinkley (5 feet 9 inches) was arguably the most famous supermodel of the 1980s. The epitome of beauty. She found love with Billy Joel (5 feet 5 inches), The Piano Man. Their love affair gave us “Uptown Girl” and birthed Alexa Ray Joel, who inspired the song “Lullabye.”  

If the most beautiful woman, who was desired by the entire world in the 1980s, chose to be with a guy four inches shorter than her, I don’t want to hear grumbling from the peanut gallery about women not liking short dudes.

Now, why was she with him — and why are most women with guys? Their personalities, of course!

Yes, many little things go into why we are attracted to someone, including physical attributes, mental makeup, and timing, among others. But let me give you a little tip: If she finds your personality a 10, she’s going to find your looks a 10. Here are some ways to ensure you put your best foot forward, short kings.

1. Zip it

The first tip I have for a short man is to stop talking about being short. You didn’t get cursed, life didn’t have it out for you, and no, not all girls like tall guys. A lot of shorter guys seem to have a chip on their shoulder. Maybe you’ve even heard of the Napoleon complex. Sometimes it’s not the height that may be keeping women away — it’s your attitude. 

Short Man Dating Tips
Set aside your feelings about your height when you go on a date.

Don’t crack self-deprecating jokes about how short you are, or bring up your height when talking to a girl. Don’t compare yourself to others. Real confidence comes with feeling comfortable in one’s own skin. Now let’s discuss how to develop that level of comfort.

2. Dress for Success

I love fashion because it allows you to change or influence almost anything about your appearance. And let’s be real, there’s nothing sexier than a well-dressed man! Having clothing that fits correctly and highlights your best features can add everything to your look. Your tailor is your friend. Most off-the-rack stuff isn’t going to have an ideal fit because clothing lines are always shooting for the middle.

Find your best fits on the rack and bring them to the tailor. Get the pants hemmed or taken in a bit. Make sure your jacket or blazer is snug around the chest and the right arm length. You don’t want to ever give the look of “wearing daddy’s clothing” by having baggy shirts. 

As far as colors go, embrace monochromatic megalomania! If you are wearing two contrasting colors on top and bottom, the eye breaks up your look, which makes both sides seem smaller. On the other hand, if you’re wearing all black or navy, the eye travels smoothly down your frame without a jarring break. Pinstripes and vertical lines will also lengthen your look.

3. Develop a Presence

Tom Cruise is said to have an insane amount of charisma and star presence. When he walks into a room, everyone notices. Simply put, your dating success will hinge on your ability to draw and keep people’s attention. I actually had a client once come to me to learn this skill. 

He was one of the Sharks on the TV show “Shark Tank” in another country. Obviously, he was a very wealthy, very powerful person. But he was diminutive in stature and wanted to learn how to be more confident. We worked on taking up space in a room, body language, and hyper-focusing on individual conversations, among other areas. But the easiest way to keep someone’s interest is to be interested in them.

“People will forget what you said but never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

When you can focus on a personal interaction and shut out everything around you, people respond to that. Believe me, it can make all the difference. I once shook hands with Bill Clinton, and, let me tell you, that dude is definitely magnetic!

If you make your date feel like they are the only person in the world, you become magnetic. Listen to what they say, and be there for them, don’t just wait your turn to speak.

4. Take a Break From Online Dating

I know everything is online, but dating online might not be the best for men who are shorter than average. Dating online gives us the (unfortunate) ability to customize exactly what we are looking for down to hair and eye color. And this is … not great. For most people, what we want and what we need are seldom the same. When it comes to clicking that height box, a lot of women, right or wrong, will not click on anything under six feet. That unfortunately bias can freeze out a lot of guys. 

Instead of relying on the swiping scene, do your relationship work in person. Humans rely on a lot of signals that are unconscious or subconscious when interacting with each other. Pheromones, chemicals, body language, tonality, smells, and sounds all contribute to attraction and chemistry. If you’re a fit guy and you keep making her laugh, she’s not even going to realize that you’re only an inch taller than her.

5. Use Sense Memory

You have probably heard of muscle memory. If you do something enough times, like throwing a ball, you don’t have to consciously remember each little motion. A similar type of memory is called sense memory. The easiest way to describe sense memory is watching an actor cry on screen.

That actor is not sad in that moment, so he has to recall that sense of being sad and bring it forward so he can portray it. We can do the same thing for ourselves to help develop confidence.

Photo of a confident man
Confident dating is a learned skill, and it takes practice.

The next time you are out with your good friends or your family, take a conscious look at yourself. How are you sitting? How are you all talking? Are you interrupting, joking, or relaxed? What is the volume of your voice? Your tone? 

Then try to remember that sense of sitting or standing there in a comfortable place and translate that to when you meet new people, especially people who intimidate you. It might feel a little awkward at first, but your body will remember.

A Few Last Bits of Advice for Short Men

Everything will be a bit of chance, so put any initial non-starters down to learning and being nervous — not because you’re short. Some girls actually prefer short guys!  After all, a shorter woman may get sick of always having to crane her neck up and enjoying looking eye to eye. 

But don’t just stick to short women. Many tall girls may not get approached by guys who find them intimidating. They will know exactly what it feels like to be judged based on something you have no control over and could certainly be down for a conversation. If someone seems to have a problem with your height, they are just showing that they are not the right person for you.

And the last thing I’ll leave all you short kings or tall kings with is this: Women may fall in lust with looks, but they fall in love with personality!