Sadly, online dating scams are still widespread and affect thousands. In 2018, the FBI received 351,937 romance scam complaints. It’s no surprise that deceitful individuals lurk online, seeking to exploit vulnerable and lonely people, often viewing singles on dating sites as easy prey.
Our goal is to arm you against those cybercriminals, so you don’t become one of those 5,800 complaints. We’ve put together some important tips about spotting and avoiding online dating scams and choosing dating sites you can rely on to keep you safe. Feel free to use the links below if you want to jump ahead in the article.
Ways to Spot Common Online Dating Scams
Staying safe online is all about knowing what to look for. Here are some of the most common online dating scams we’ve found in our research and how to avoid them. Once you’re in the know, the power is in your hands.
1. They Ask for Money
Someone with genuine intentions won’t ask a stranger online for money — that’s what friends, family, and banks are for. If a match asks you to cover anything — whether it’s travel costs to come see you, their dating membership because it’s about to expire, or something else — block and report that person to the site immediately. No exceptions. Under no circumstances is it O.K. to give money to someone you don’t know.
2. They Use Poor Grammar and Make a Lot of Spelling Mistakes
We all miss commas and make typos here and there, but if a dating profile or message is made up of 90% mistakes, that’s cause for an eyebrow raise. A significant number of scammers are from other countries (usually Russia, Nigeria, Ghana, Ukraine, South Africa, Jamaica, or Brazil), so keep an eye out for a lot of broken English and weird word choices.
It’s also worth copying and pasting a few of their sentences into Google to see if they stole that language from someone else or another site.
3. They Have Few Pictures or Only One
When you’re online dating, photos are equally as important as text, so if you’re talking with someone who only has one blurry or stock photo, your Spidey sense should be tingling. Sometimes the profile’s photo looks too good to be true. Sure, maybe there are model-quality single gals out there, but a lot of times a scammer will post a photo of a beautiful young woman to target single men, especially older men.
You could try to prove they are who they say they are by making a game of it. Send a selfie (keep it PG) and ask for one of them in return. You can also plug the photo into TinEye’s reverse image search to see if it appears somewhere else (aka a stock photo depository).
4. They Express Strong Feelings for You Very Soon
Love at first sight can definitely happen, and there have been plenty of stories about people who fell in love within weeks of meeting and who are still together today. However, online daters should guard their feelings during those early stages when they’re getting to know someone because it’s so easy to lie, embellish, and misjudge people online.
Keep in mind that you don’t really know this person or what their intentions are, so move at a comfortable pace until you’ve built trust both online and in real life.
If an online match seems to be rushing the getting-to-know-each-other phase and jumping right into declarations of “I’ve been waiting for someone like you for my whole life” or “I can’t believe we found each other,” that should raise some alarms. Especially if you haven’t even met the person yet.
With such ardent love declarations, they could be trying to appeal to your emotional side, so you’ll throw caution to the wind and let someone untrustworthy into your life. Maybe they’re sincere. Or maybe they are more attracted to your bank account than your personal qualities. Only time will tell, so give yourself plenty of space and time to figure out the truth.
5. They Keep Putting Off Meeting in Person
The end goal of online dating is to find someone you like and get offline ASAP. When the person you’re talking to constantly has an excuse for why they can’t meet up, you should be wary. They’re either not that into you and are breadcrumbing you, or they aren’t who they say they are and are trying to scam you.
A lot of scams involve someone who claims to live in another country, so at first it may seem reasonable that meeting in person would take time, right? But here’s the catch: that’s often the excuse they use to ask you for money. It’s also worth asking why they’d be looking for someone outside their own country and why they’d pursue that if they can’t even afford the trip.
Scam-Free Dating Sites
The media often covers online dating scams because they make for lurid and flashy headlines. However, it’s not all con artists and catfishers out there. We’ve heard plenty of online dating success stories to counter the bad seeds. In fact, about 27% of newlyweds meet each other online, and some of our own writers have found love on a dating app.
Don’t let fear of the unknown keep you from finding something meaningful. There are plenty of dating websites you can feel good about using, and we’ve rounded up some of the best below. These sites have been around for years, rely on strong screening tools and advanced tech to protect members, and consistently earn positive feedback.
1. Match
Match was founded in 1995, making it the first dating site ever. No one has more history and is more respected in the online dating industry than Match. The dating app has three out of five stars on Google Play, was called one of the top 100 sites by PC Magazine, and is responsible for the most romantic connections of any of its competitors.
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: “Match pairs a large dating pool with search filters specific enough to make that size useful rather than overwhelming.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
In terms of safety, Match offers customer service via chat Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. CST as well as 24/7 support via email. The Match team is committed to online dating safety and recently partnered with Garbo to add a background check feature to the dating site and app.
As a Match user, you have the ability to report any suspicious activity and take advantage of incognito settings to protect your personal and financial information.
2. eharmony
As a relationship-driven site, eharmony is another pioneer in this space, having been co-created in 2000 by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist, marriage counselor, relationship author, Christian theologian, and seminary professor. The site is for serious-minded daters and uses an in-depth questionnaire to identify true compatibility.
- Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships
- Match System: Personality test suggests matches
- Our Experts Say: “eharmony's compatibility questions do the sorting up front, so matches arrive based on personality rather than photos.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
The main thing people seem to like about eharmony is the site does all the searching and matching, which means potential scammers are less likely to be on the prowl since they have less control.
3. OurTime
Safety is usually a top concern for online daters, especially mature singles, and that’s where OurTime comes in. This site is exclusively for men and women aged 50 and older, so it knows how to cater to this audience and their needs.
- Relationships: Dates and Relationships
- Match System: Search by profiles by zip and more
- Our Experts Say: “OurTime makes dating after 50 feel simple, with senior-friendly search tools and an easy-to-use layout.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
In addition to having a user-friendly layout, search functionality, and matching process, OurTime has an extensive tips section similar to Match’s.
4. Adult Friend Finder
Sometimes people think hookup sites can’t be safe, but that’s not always the case. Adult Friend Finder helps frisky singles have a fun and equally safe experience. The adult dating site uses state-of-the-art encryption and an anonymous profile setup to provide some level of privacy and security to online daters.
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn't about making friends, it's about finding hookups and casual encounters. No adult site has a larger or more active user base of those seeking discreet fun.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Adult Friend Finder has been in the online dating business since the 1990s, and its team of moderators have gotten really good at spotting fake profiles over the years. The hookup website flags suspicious activity automatically, and anyone caught breaking the AFF community guidelines will be removed from the database.
Take Your Safety Into Your Own Hands!
Just because there are people in the world with bad intentions, that doesn’t mean we should live in fear. Online dating is still a great way to meet people, and if you utilize the tips above, you can protect yourself from con artists and not fall victim to one of the 5,800 annual romance scams. Stay safe!
