How a Modern Matchmaker Can Save Singles From Swiping Burnout

The Short Version: Burned out by online dating? You’re not alone. While dating sites are still quite a popular choice for those looking to find love, many people seek alternative methods — like hiring professional matchmaker Allie Leilani — to meet their soulmate. 

Some people have very clear ideas about where they want their careers to go, and they pursue those goals single-mindedly. The rest of us are pretty much jumping on opportunities as they come and hoping that enough passion and work experience will form itself into a career path.

I found it interesting to learn that Allie Leilani, Lead Executive Matchmaker at WeClicked, didn’t set out to become a matchmaker and relationship expert. She told us that she more or less fell into the position thanks to a recommendation. 

“I had a friend who was working at a national firm as a recruiter, and she came to me and said, ‘I think you’d be really great at this,’” she told us. 

She applied, was hired on — and success soon followed. “In my first two years at the firm, I became top matchmaker as far as quality matches executed,” Allie said. 

Not only was she making a lot of matches, but she was excellent at figuring out compatibility on a deeper level. Once she started pairing individuals up, she realized how rewarding the work was. “I fell in love with the fact that this could be a way that I could be in support of people,” Allie added. 

Today Allie is one of the many professionals striving to pair like-minded singles in the dating world. With a background in mental health work and life coaching, the professional matchmaker and relationship coach decided to branch off on her own and become the CEO of her own matchmaking firm.

WeClicked works with individuals who are seeking long-term love. She knows that part of the process includes self-awareness and personal growth, and works primarily with singles, many in their 20s and 30s, who are ready to settle down with someone. 

She told us about how the process works and what qualities make singles successful. 

Matchmaking can be a great option because you have a professional who can vouch for the connection. It’s less random than online dating and more targeted than blind dates. It’s almost like having a close friend screen someone before the first date. 

Even if sparks don’t fly, you have a good chance that there’ll be a connection, perhaps the foundation for a new friendship. 

Allie uses pure intuition to figure out if two people would be a match. “A lot of my coaching comes from being aware of what’s happening in the body,” she said. “What is the body doing? How does that inform how we’re feeling, how we’re thinking, how we’re moving through our ability to connect?” 

That authentic feeling has led to plenty of successful pairings. Allie said she hopes to learn more about conscious coupling to offer her clients all she can on their path toward love and self-discovery. 

At WeClicked, Allie takes the time to get to know each client. For many, that involves figuring out what has prevented them from finding love on their own. 

The process can be deep, and it may reveal something holding them back, whether it’s low self-esteem or a trauma that makes them self-sabotage relationships just as they start to get serious. 

Allie works to help her clients understand themselves a little better and find the root cause of their setbacks. 

Sometimes, coming to terms with distractions or mental blocks that have served to sabotage past dating opportunities can open a window for better, more understanding connections.

It’s impossible to find happiness if you’re not happy with yourself — but Allie hopes to break through and offer support on the search for love and on how to live a happier life. 

After starting this empowering journey, Allie creates the blueprint for dating success. She’s not just matching singles based on what looks good on paper. She focuses on building a lifelong connection. 

“[I have] a few certifications and experiences that I think kind of converge to make my approach unique,” Allie told us. “So I am a certified life coach with CLCI. I am a certified positive intelligence coach. Positive intelligence is a model of coaching that I find to be very useful with clients.”

She zeros in  on feelings and intuition in her matchmaking. Her approach can help widen the scope of someone’s dating pool if they’ve narrowed it down to an impossible degree. 

That said, she also knows that there are plenty of people looking for love but are unwilling to take the big steps to evaluate themselves and face internal conflicts. 

“I don’t think that I would take on a client who doesn’t have the capacity to be coachable,” she admits. “Or sometimes the word ‘coaching’ doesn’t quite land well with people. They say, well, I don’t need a coach or I don’t need coaching. Right. But I think the ability to learn, grow, perhaps become aware of what’s impeding us. To me, that has to happen for somebody to succeed in matchmaking.” 

Part of the fun for Allie is working with someone who has a discovery moment that unlocks a roadblock in their personal or love life.

From arranged marriage to the village priest making connections back in the medieval era, matchmaking has been around for centuries. While the concept isn’t new, it’s fallen out of fashion in the last few decades in the United States, in favor of online dating sites. 

But it’s worth revisiting, especially for younger professionals who don’t have the time to invest in the search, or people who no longer want to deal with the threat of catfish, bots, and scams, all of which can be present online. 

As a younger matchmaker, Allie has an excellent grasp on what common dating looks like today and understands what people may be looking for in not just a partner, but a full dating experience. Moving forward, she hopes to continue creating connections throughout New York in creative, engaging ways.

“It is going to be a big part of my efforts to have boots on the ground, to partner with other super connectors and host events and things that will really help bring people together in real life,” she said, regarding her future endeavors. 

While she aims to work primarily for singles in their late 20s to their mid-40s, her main goal is to help people move forward. 

“When I launch, I’m really going to work with whoever I feel that I can serve,” she said. “But my ideal client is someone who maybe has strayed from the beaten path, someone who maybe is a bit eclectic or has a bit of an edgy side, somebody who can hold complexity.” 

While a lot of people are out there looking for love, Allie especially likes working with individuals who think outside of the box. In particular, she likes working with people who may feel as if they’re outsiders, especially when it comes to love. 

That description likely fits many professional singles working in the city. According to an article in the New York Post, a whopping 38.61% of New York’s population is single. To put that in perspective, it’s over 17% higher than the national average and has been dubbed one of the worst cities to find love. 

While New York doesn’t have a shortage of social events and opportunities, many find it hard to pay for the cost of a date, according to the same New York Post article. Others worry too much about coming off as “creepy.” 

According to the article’s author, “In a city of 1.5 million singles aged 20 to 34, why settle for your Bumble date who’s perfect on paper but has an annoying laugh?”

And that’s where matchmakers like Allie come into the mix. Matchmakers often expect their clients to give them a firm idea of who they are, what they’re looking for, and what might turn them off regarding a potential match. 

Getting to know the nuts and bolts of someone goes well beyond what a profile might offer, making the dating process not only easier but more personalized.

Allie’s future plans include matchmaking, but she’ll also have packages that veer more toward life coaching. 

“I’ll be offering bespoke matchmaking packages. I will also be offering solely coaching packages to those that maybe aren’t ready to invest in a matchmaker, but want to work with a trauma-informed of queer affirming, you know, relationship and dating coach,” she said. “That’s definitely me.” 

Not only that, but she’ll also offer what’s called a “digital takeover.” For clients still interested in keeping their dating profiles and site subscriptions, she’ll revamp what’s on there to be more enticing, in an attempt for users to get more traction. She can also help with the search itself, as well as messaging potential suitors. 

Even if you don’t work with Allie directly, she has excellent advice for anyone looking to hire a matchmaker in the future. 

“Do your research on a lot of different factors, maybe their success rate or what others are saying about them or what their methodology is. It can even come down to the more superficial but still important stuff, like what is their vibe? What kind of language are they using? Are they speaking to you? Do you feel personally, emotionally, like, drawn to, or connected to them? And that’s the first piece,” she said. 

If you want to give your dating profiles a rest, maybe a matchmaker is just what you’re in the market for.