It’s late. The house is quiet, and you open your go-to dating app for a few minutes before bed. You see the same guy with a different face, read the same boring “hey” message, and all of a sudden you start thinking to yourself… are you ever going to meet someone worth your time on these dating apps?
I know the feeling all too well, my friend. I’ve been the woman on the other side of the screen. Frustrated with all the not-so-wonderful matches, asking myself the same question: “What am I doing wrong on these dating apps?”
Here’s what I learned. Dating apps can work for you if you are strategic. I know this because I met my husband online. And I’ve spent the better part of a decade helping singles find love in the online space.
The good news is you can take control. You have options. Here are the premium features I think are worth investing in on dating apps if you’re ready to stop wasting time and start taking control of your dating experience.
Time-Saving Features
We all know that time is money. These three features are worth the price of an upgrade because they help you save your energy and your time when online dating. It’s a quicker path to a match, and who doesn’t want that?
1. Seeing Who Already Likes You
Have you ever been overwhelmed by the list of possible matches? So much that the thought of reviewing each one just makes you freeze? The women I work with tell me this all the time. I always assure my clients: There are good men on the apps…they just get buried. The thoughtful guy with kind eyes and a great bio might be somewhere on page 12.
When you can see everyone who has liked your profile, you have a better crop of guys to choose from. These profiles have already said yes to you. So you can count on there being some commonality and interest there.
That shift alone should feel like such a relief. You’ll find this premium feature on Bumble Premium, Hinge+ and HingeX, Tinder Gold and Platinum, OkCupid Premium, and Coffee Meets Bagel Premium offer it too.
2. Match Extensions
Bumble puts a timer on new matches, and if nobody messages in the 72-hour time slot, the connection disappears. Many of the busy single professionals I work with tell me this is too much pressure.
I totally get it. Between work schedules and family obligations, sometimes it’s just not feasible to check a dating app every day. That’s where the Extend feature can help.
Here’s the good news: You can extend a match by signing up for Bumble Boost or Bumble Premium. This gives you breathing room to send a thoughtful first message when you have the energy for it.
And if you find yourself extending everything, take that as gentle feedback that you’re matching with more people than you realistically have time for. You might want to be more particular with swiping right so you’re not wasting potential connections.
3. Rewind
We’ve all done it…the accidental swipe left. You’re swiping away, your thumb slips, and a man who looked wonderful vanishes in thin air. That’s why many apps offer a premium feature called Rewind. And guess what it does? It brings him back to life in your dating app!
It’s a simple feature on Bumble and Tinder, and I definitely think it’s worth having because it saves you from the goof of “whoops! I meant to swipe right!”
Features That Protect Your Peace
I know online dating can feel invasive sometimes. Putting all that info out there for anyone to see? It can make a single person, especially a woman, feel vulnerable. These features will help give you some control over what people can and cannot see!
4. Incognito Mode
I’ve worked with women who’ve told me they don’t want their profile in a public space, whether it was because of their public-facing career, fear of running into an ex, or just wanting some privacy. It’s understandable.
Most apps have some sort of Incognito Mode. They might call it invisible, stealth, or ghost mode. It amounts to the same thing. And most of the time, this is a premium feature.
Turning incognito on will only allow the people you’ve liked to see your profile. For a lot of women, that’s worth the price by itself.
Pro Tip: Incognito Mode is not a paid feature on Match. Go to the Visibility section in your Settings, and then select “Hidden: No one can see you.”
The nice part of using incognito browsing is that you don’t have to deal with a flood of unwanted messages.
Honestly, the peace of mind it gives you is real. But remember, that means you have to swipe first since no one can find you unless you reach out to them first. I’m all about being the chooser, so I actually really like that for singles.
5. Travel Mode
I find this to be a pretty cool feature, especially if you are open to dating someone outside of your area.
For my travelers out there, I recommend you check out the Travel or Passport mode. It’s offered on local swipe apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Grindr. The option lets you set your location to a new city before you get there.
This feature is not for everybody. If you’re a homebody looking for a local love, this won’t be appealing to you. But if you’re a frequent flyer who’s willing to relocate for the right person? Travel Mode can set you free!
Pros
- See more profiles without local limitations
- Enjoy short-term flings while on a trip
- Scout matches in a new city before relocating
Cons
- Must be willing and able to travel
- Can come off to matches as flighty
- More long-distance chatting
Let’s say you are in a new town for work. You can actually match with someone and go on a date later that night. Many of the singles I work with use this during business trips.
And it works wonders if you are moving to a new location to make some connections before you get there! That can make a big, overwhelming move feel a little less lonely. Just be clear with your matches about what your situation is and when they can expect to actually meet you.
Features That Help You Be the Chooser
This is where a premium plan can genuinely change your results and give you more power. These features will help you take charge and not depend on an algorithm to generate matches based on mystery criteria.
6. Advanced Filters
If you only pay for one thing, I think you should pay for this feature! This will help you save SO much time and effort. Most of the free filters on dating apps only give you the ability to select preferences for age, distance, and maybe height.
What really makes a difference are the Advanced Filters for things like religion, politics, family life, hobbies, pets, and relationship intent.
This feature lets you sort for what actually matters when you’re building a life with someone. Your core values, aka non-negotiables, should be must-have filters in your online dating life.
This is exactly how I found my husband. I stopped filtering for just a handsome face and started filtering for someone I could consider a life partner. I opened my age range to 10 years older. And that was when he landed in my inbox. We matched because we had similar family values, and we were both looking for a life partner and marriage.
So if you’re not using these advanced filters, I highly recommend you do. And I challenge you to start filtering for core values and be more open-minded about the superficial filters. Keep only your true dealbreakers. You might be surprised who’s been waiting just outside your old box.
7. Priority Likes
Sometimes you see a dating profile and feel instant attraction. But you may not be the only one. The most attractive profiles get dozens or even hundreds of likes on popular apps.
So if you don’t want to get lost in a sea of matches. This feature is worth checking out. Priority Likes move you toward the top of someone’s queue. On some higher tiers, like Tinder Platinum, you can also include a message before you’ve even matched.
| Tinder Plus | Tinder Gold | Tinder Platinum |
|---|---|---|
| Unlimited Likes | Everything in Tinder Plus | Everything in Tinder Gold |
| Unlimited Rewinds | See Who Likes You | Priority Likes |
| Tinder Passport | Weekly Super Likes | |
| No ads | Monthly Profile Boost | |
| Incognito Mode |
It’s easy to forget that quality men are overwhelmed too, and a wonderful woman can get lost in the mix of matches. To me, there are no gender roles when it comes to online dating. I’m a big believer in women taking initiative with the people who genuinely excite them.
Pay for this feature when you find someone who lines up with your values, and the chemistry is there. When you reach out, say something like, “Is that picture taken in Paris? I’ve been wanting to travel there for years. What was your most memorable part of the trip?” That will always land better than “cute pics.”
8. Unlimited Likes
As a free member on Hinge, you can like eight profiles a day. That cap can feel limiting and slow your ability to get more matches. When you upgrade to Hinge+, Tinder Plus, and Bumble Boost, the restrictions all get removed.
Here’s where it can benefit you: More options and more opportunities. And here’s the part I love most: this feature lets you be the chooser. So many women sit back and wait to be picked. That’s a good way to meet random dates, but it’s not a good strategy for finding your person.
Let’s say you live in a busy city with a big dating pool, having unlimited likes gives you access to so many possible matches. You can set aside a weekend to actually line up some dates.
OkCupid did a study where they found women are 2.5 times more likely than men when messaging first. Women have better success in online dating conversations, and that advantage is wasted if you’re sitting back and waiting on the man to say something first.
With unlimited likes, you can go out and choose people who line up with your values. Rather than settling for whoever landed in your inbox. I’ve seen so many women succeed in finding the love of their life by taking this one action.
Upgrade Your Online Dating Life
When I look back on how I met my husband, I realize it was all mindset. I didn’t let the algorithm choose for me. Instead, I started being more intentional with how I dated online.
And yes, I upgraded to the premium features I knew would actually help me stop wasting my time. Most importantly, I stopped filtering just for looks and started paying attention to qualities that made a great partner.
That’s really the heart of it. Premium features are tools. They can’t do the inner work for you, and they can’t make someone right for you. But using the right dating app tools can give you back your time and your peace, so the energy you have goes toward people who are actually aligned with you.
Just remember, the men on the other side of the screen are tired too. Most of us don’t want to be swiping forever. We are simply using these features hoping to find that lasting relationship.
