After an evening of swiping with no luck, you see a profile on your dating app that checks all of your boxes. But when you try to like their profile, a notification pops up: you’ve used up all your likes for the day. Pay for premium, or wait until tomorrow.
Dating apps can make a convincing argument as to why users should pay for premium. In a world where finding dates on the apps is increasingly the norm, users can feel pressured into paying for better luck and more options. But do you really need to spend money to use dating apps?
Paying for a premium plan can unlock many features that make it easier and faster to find quality matches. However, I know plenty of other ways to boost your profile and improve your swiping strategy to find better matches without paying. As someone who met her husband on Hinge without buying a premium profile, I believe it’s important to know how to make a free profile work for you.
3 Ways to Attract Better Matches… For Free!
Although premium profiles are marketed as a fast pass to easier, better matches, it’s possible to achieve the same effect without paying.
1. Choose Photos To Spark Conversation
First impressions matter! Your first photo should be a clear, friendly picture of your face.
Avoid group photos and heavy filters. People looking at your profile should feel confident that they know what you look like without having to try too hard!
Choose pictures that highlight your hobbies, favorite social scenes, and memories. As important as it is for people to be able to see what you look like, it’s just as important to highlight your personality.
The more variety in your photos, the better chance you have of sparking intrigue and conversation.
Have multiple photos with variety. Your personality, style, interests, and passions are on display.
2. Write a Bio That Filters in the Right People
Be specific! Instead of using vague phrases like “I love good food” or “I love adventure,” a good bio is written with personality and invites conversation.
For example: “Trying to find the best burger spot in town” or “You can find me biking around the city!” Use your bio to let your personality shine through and spark conversation.
Highlight your relationship goals using positive language. For example, including “Looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship where we can grow together” in your bio would stand out to users who are looking for the same thing.
Be concrete and specific about what you want. And if you don’t know what you want, it’s ok to be upfront about that, too.
Keep it concise! Your bio should be easy to read without oversharing intimate details.
Here are some examples of an eye-catching bio:
- “On a mission to find the best dive bar in the city. You can otherwise find me at the movie theater (let’s swap our favorite films?), spending time with my family, or going to small-venue concerts with friends.”
- “New in town! I’m looking for someone to explore the city with, and my long-term goal is a serious, monogamous relationship.”
- “Ask me about the time I met the Dalai Lama! I can be quiet, but I’m a great listener. Let’s cook dinner together – I’ll cook if you pour the wine! Wanting to spend time with someone who is emotionally available.”
3. Keep It Positive
Avoid listing dealbreakers or complaining about past dating experiences. Instead of describing what you don’t want, describe what you do want. Use your bio to attract people to you, not repel matches.
Instead of saying something like “Not looking for hookups!” use positive language such as “I value open and honest communication” or “ I know I give off girlfriend energy, and I want someone with boyfriend energy.”
Other big no-nos:
- Self-depricating humor: in a similar vein, avoid using negative language when talking about yourself.
- Low-effort language: If you’re serious about wanting to find a quality match on the apps, it should shine through your profile! Unoriginal and bland language is like saying, “Please ignore me.” Avoid phrases like “Ask me anything” or “I’m bad at bios.”
- Skipping sections: Leaving your bio blank can make it seem like you’re not actually invested in meeting people. And it leaves people wondering if you’re a catfish or fake.
How to Use the Algorithm to Your Advantage
Once you understand how dating apps decide which profiles to give you access to, you can maneuver the algorithm to take advantage of your limited number of swipes or likes using a free profile.
Here’s how it works and what you can do to make the app work to your advantage:
Engagement-Based Ranking
If you match repeatedly without engaging in conversations, or if your conversations fizzle out after just one or two messages, the app will flag your profile as “low engagement.”
Being pegged as “low engagement” will lower your profile’s visibility. The reasoning is simple – if you aren’t furthering the app’s mission of setting people up on dates, the app won’t further your mission of getting dates!
The solution: Be intentional with your matches! Only match with people who you intend on messaging, and make it a point to message your matches within 24 hours. A personalized message, rather than a repeated “What’s up?” tells the app that you’re active and a good profile to show others.
Profile Freshness
Whenever you log in and update your profile, the app will boost your visibility to give your new content a chance to perform.
The solution: Regular micro-updates to your profile boost your visibility! Swap out a photo every week or tweak your bio. The app will then do the work of re-testing your profile on the algorithm, which leads to fresh matches.
Swiping Behavior
If you go on autopilot on the apps and swipe right on 90% of the profiles you’re shown, the algorithm can flag your profile as low-quality, or even as a bot! It assumes you have no type and will give up on trying to find you specific matches.
The solution: Be selective! Aim to reject the majority of profiles, only liking the ones that match your specific preferences. The more data you give the algorithm about what you do and don’t like, the better the algorithm becomes at showing you profiles that match your preferences.
Send Messages That’ll Stand Out & Get Responses
The algorithm prioritizes profiles that get replies and engagement. But the apps can’t perfect the art of a killer opening line for you! Here’s how you can send messages that will have your inbox full of polite responses:
- Comment on profile details: Did their profile include a picture with their dog? Comment something specific about their pet, or ask a question like “What’s its name?” or “Your dog is so cute! I wonder if ours would get along.” This shows that you paid attention to their profile and want to know more about them.
- Ask open-ended questions: Avoid dead-end, yes-or-no questions by asking questions that invite more lengthy responses! Instead of asking “Did you have a good weekend?” a question like “What was your favorite thing that you did this weekend?” feels much easier to respond to. Open-ended questions invite more of a conversation.
- Avoid physical compliments if your goal is a relationship: Complimenting how someone looks, although well-intended, often comes across as low-effort and impersonal. Additionally, if your goal is a relationship, it signals the opposite – that you are only interested in someone’s physical appearance. Skip the physical compliments, and instead ask intentional questions about their profile.
The secret to success with online dating messaging isn’t pulling out a line or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s showing genuine interest in who a person is and asking good questions that make them feel seen.
What Dating Apps Lock Behind Premium
So, is paying for premium features on a dating app worth it? Here are the features that are commonly hidden behind a paywall:
- Unlimited likes or swipes: Without a premium profile, dating apps will often limit how many profiles you can like or swipe in a day or week.
- Seeing who has already liked you: Instead of having to swipe or send likes without knowing if it’ll actually result in a match, a premium profile allows you to see everyone who has already made a move on you. Not only can this make the matching process quicker – it can also add a boost of confidence!
- Advanced filters: If you have non-negotiables – for example, you only want to match with people who don’t drink alcohol, or who belong to a specific religion – a premium profile makes it possible to set advanced filters on which profiles are shown in your feed. This can make finding a match who checks all of your boxes a more streamlined process!
- Read receipts: Unlocking the ability to know whether or not your message has been read lets you know whether you’ve been ghosted or your match is simply taking a while to respond.
- Boosted visibility: Paying for premium prioritizes your profile in the algorithm, meaning your profile would get seen by more users than a free profile would. This could potentially lead to more matches.
Notice that none of these perks are “guaranteed matches” or “constant influx of messages.” Premium features are useful, certainly, but their efficacy will vary for each individual.
Which Apps to Use (Free & Paid Recs)
Some apps are easier to use without premium than others. Here are some of my recommendations for free and paid memberships:
Best Free Memberships
I’ll start with the ones where a free membership is more than enough to get by and get great matches.
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: Match has facilitated the most dates and relationships of any dating site, and its large audience and high success rate make it our top review. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Because Match is where people go with serious dating intentions, you are more likely to find other people who are looking for a relationship rather than a hookup. You can browse profiles with a free account, and you can message your mutual matches for free.
Hinge: You get 8 free likes per day, and you can send a comment with each initial like. This allows you to start conversations immediately without waiting for a like back. I’m definitely biased on this one because I met my husband in these swiping waters.
Tinder: Tinder offers a high number of daily swipe rights – between 25-50 every 12 hours. Additionally, because of its popularity, it has enough active users to make a free account worth it.
Good Apps That Are Better When You Pay
On the other hand, these apps are harder to use without paying:
- Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships
- Match System: Personality test suggests matches
- Our Experts Say: Accounting for 2% of U.S. marriages, eharmony’s compatibility-based system and commitment-minded user base are ideal for those seeking a serious relationship. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
eharmony is designed as a serious commitment app, so some investment is required. And I’m not just talking about the 60-question compatibility quiz.
The free version is basically designed as a preview mode. As a free user, you can see profiles and receive matches, but some profile information is blurred, essentially leaving you blind dating until you pay for Premium. Messaging is largely left behind the paywall too.
- Relationships: Dates and Relationships
- Match System: Search by profiles by zip and more
- Our Experts Say: OurTime is well-known in the over-50 dating crowd, particularly because it has a ton of helpful search features and an easy layout. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
OurTime is free to join and offers free messaging to anyone who forms a mutual match. But making that match can prove challenging since it is a smaller niche dating pool.
This app is a popular choice for users over 50. However, a paid plan would make it more conducive to chatting because you could see who’s liked you rather than blindly sending likes and hoping to match eventually.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs
- Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more
- Our Experts Say: With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Now, the experience on this casual dating app is different for men and women.
If you are a woman, you essentially have unlimited access for free on Ashley Madison. However, if you’re a man, a free account is “view only.”
Men can set up a profile and see the profiles nearby for free, but sending messages requires spending credits.
Common Mistakes
Free online dating takes patience. And a good amount of work.
One of the common mistakes I see is users going on autopilot when they open the app. When you open the apps mindlessly and swipe based on looks alone, you are gambling on whether your lifestyles or values match.
And if you’re not taking the time to evaluate whether someone’s bio actually piques your interest, you’re spending your limited likes on profiles without knowing if a conversation is likely.
Similarly, many people simply give up on the apps too soon. Before I matched with my now-husband on Hinge, I remember wondering if any of my time would actually pay off. Thankfully, I didn’t give up, and you shouldn’t either.
The more consistent and intentional you are with using the app, the more the app will serve you.
When Paying Might Actually Pay Off
I’ve gone through several ways to optimize a free dating app and find quality matches without paying. But in specific situations, a premium profile can be necessary to achieve your goals!
For example, paying might be a good idea if:
- You’re simply too busy, and time is of the essence: If you have the resources to pay for a premium subscription and don’t have the time to wait for a match or for your likes to reload, it might be a worthwhile investment.
- You have a niche dealbreaker: Premium profiles can unlock advanced search filters. Meaning you don’t waste your time or likes on people who aren’t compatible with your needs.
- You want to see who likes you: Instead of swiping or sending likes in the hopes of a match, you only want to choose from the pool of people who already want to match with you. That will surely save time and energy!
But remember: a premium profile can’t fix a bad bio, poor-quality pictures, or low-effort messaging.
Quality Matches Are About Strategy, Not Spending
Online dating can be challenging, but it can actually work, especially when you put effort into doing it right. I honed my strategy on the apps to the point where I didn’t need to rely on premium perks to get my husband to message me (on Hinge and OkCupid!) and ask me out.
While premium features can save time, a thoughtful profile where your personality shines is what will make the app work for you.
My ultimate advice? Stay patient, positive, and remember why you downloaded the app in the first place.
