Let’s get down to brass tacks: It’s getting harder and harder to find love. But considering that you’re here right now, reading this, you probably already know that.
On top of the growing gender divide and shifts in the lifestyle choices of our single population, fast-paced dating apps like Tinder have left many feeling frustrated and hopeless in the face of romance. Anxious to part ways with gamified dating, throngs of people are turning to anti-swiping platforms that take the love game a lot more seriously. Enter eharmony.
The dating site is known for its strong emphasis on helping singles form authentic, meaningful connections. When it launched in 2000, this famous dating service created its in-depth questionnaire and Compatibility Matching System (CMS).
That’s my roundabout way of saying that if you’re looking to use online dating for hookups, eharmony isn’t for you. If eharmony were a Craigslist ad, it’d have “Serious Inquiries Only” in the header.
So, how good is eharmony at helping singles find love? And is it worth the time, energy, and dollars? The short answer is: Potentially yes, if you’re 30+ and willing to drop some cash, but no, if you’re on a budget and want something casual.
Those Who’ve Found Love Say eharmony Is Worth It
eharmony has a lot of features that other dating sites don’t have, so that may make it worth the extra price tag that other services don’t have. One thing that stands out is the questionnaire that uses psychology to make smart match suggestions. Here’s a quick assessment of eharmony’s most notable features:
- Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships
- Match System: Personality test suggests matches
- Our Experts Say: Accounting for 2% of U.S. marriages, eharmony’s compatibility-based system and commitment-minded user base are ideal for those seeking a serious relationship. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Before you unload your precious free time and dollars into a dating platform, it’s important to feel like it’ll work. Testimonials from real users can help with that. Now, we can’t speak to whether the following stories are “happily-ever-afters,” but they’re at least “happy-for-nows” — and I think that’s pretty darn good.
Cara and Kyle, whose smiling faces light up the screen of eharmony’s website, got matched on eharmony more than four years ago. Right from the jump, they were both impressed by how much they had in common — a testament to the app’s in-depth and on-the-nose matchmaking questionnaire:
“It never felt like a stretch to find commonality in their interests and hobbies. Once they met in person, they were ready for their adventure to begin right away!” — Cara and Kyle
With the help of eharmony, the two quickly fell in love and have been living out their married-life dreams in Stanhope, New Jersey since October 2020.
Brand websites have a tendency to only post their best and brightest success stories (shocking, right?), so I make sure to check external sources as well. Reddit (which I like to call “The People’s Platform”) offered a few glimpses into the power of eharmony to turn digital interactions into real-life romance.
For example, in the “dating over 50” corner of Reddit, user Witty-Alternative-57 shares that he’s been corresponding with a woman he received a 117% match score via eharmony:
“I was quite skeptical, but I have to say we hit it off straight away. We have a lot of commonalities. During the messaging phase, on more than one occasion we sent the same questions to each other simultaneously. We never run out of things to say.”
Success stories are all over the web, and they can be pretty heartwarming. Another Reddit user in this same thread chimed in with a short and sweet take:
“Met my partner on eharmony. Not much of a story – met for tacos, been laughing ever since.” – ARealRain
Coming in with a fairly even-keeled take on their experience is JustAFileClerk, a Reddit user who says:
“Currently seeing someone I met on eHarmony after Hinge and Bumble didn’t do the trick. It’s still OLD (online dating), still had lots of strange experiences, and my new friend was only a 97% after all the higher numbers didn’t respond or ghosted me. Still, a win is a win.”
But It Is Pricey. Here’s the Cost Breakdown:
All of these positive outcomes, I have to remind you, wouldn’t have happened without dropping some cash first. Now, let’s take a look at just how much cash we’re talking about.
If you’re not looking to spend anything on your search for love, you do have the option to join eharmony as a free member (AKA you’ll get the Basic Membership). With this membership, you’ll be able to review your matches (with blurred-out photos), view most (keyword: most) of the information in your matches’ profiles, send and receive likes, and browse anonymously.
However, there’s a catch: You can’t send or receive messages as a free member. Considering that getting connected with matches is, I don’t know, the entire point of using dating apps, I feel like this restriction makes your free membership pretty pointless. But hey, maybe that’s just me.
If you’ve reached the point in your journey where you’re ready to invest financially in long-term love, your paid membership options are as follows:
As you can see, the lower the monthly cost, the longer the time commitment. For example, one month of Premium Light (the lowest membership tier) is about the same price as two months of Premium Extra (the highest membership tier) — but extends for one-fourth of the time.
If you’re anything like me, math isn’t your strong suit. But it’ll be up to you to decide which of these financial outcomes makes the most sense for your dating goals and budget.
Caveat: The Site Doesn’t Work For Everyone
Sure, plenty of singles have found love on eharmony. It probably wouldn’t have lasted in the market for the past two dozen years otherwise. However, I want to make it clear that the platform is nothing close to a “one size fits all” kind of deal.
Many people do not find success on the interface and have lots to say about their less-than-ideal experience in online reviews.
A common complaint that I encountered in my search surrounded the verbiage used in eharmony’s payment policy. Many customers found it confusing and misleading. There is a lot of venting in the Better Business Bureau public forum.
For example, one customer shared:
“I got a membership for 6 months, and I decided not to renew it. After my cancellation of the renewal, they charged for two months’ membership. I asked to be refunded. They refused to refund me.”
The customer complained that he’s gotten inconsistent stories that contradict their stated policy that users have the right not to renew the membership and not be charged.
Other users expressed frustration about either inactive or fake profiles clogging up the space and creating a false sense of abundant singles, one in particular stating:
“I created a profile on eharmony. Within 2-3 weeks, I discovered that most of the profiles were either fake or inactive (meaning the user abandoned the profile, but didn’t go through the difficult task of having eharmony delete the profile).”
Many Reddit users were also peeved by their lack of success on the platform:
“Most of the people they matched me with did not even reply to my messages – a common experience on dating sites, but I expected better since that site is so expensive.” – CacataCharta
As CacataCharta touched on in this last point, encountering duds or ghosters in the online dating space is something that comes with the territory and can’t necessarily be “faulted” to the platform in question.
Yes, it’s possible that some of the “matches” who aren’t responding to you are bots or fake profiles — but it’s also possible that these people are very much real, and, for whatever reason, are no longer interested in interacting with you.
Such is the game of modern love (see: dating app burnout). That said, I encourage you to take each interaction with a grain of salt.
Lastly, a notable negative to eharmony thus far has been its lack of inclusivity. For most of the app’s existence in the digital romance world, singles who identified as LGBTQIA+ or non-binary were excluded from participating in a search for love.
As of summer 2023, thankfully, eharmony has amended this part of their policy, opening up access to queer and gender-nonconforming folks.
2 Good Alternatives to eharmony
It could be that you’ve far surpassed your salt intake when it comes to eharmony. Instead of giving up on your online love pursuits entirely, you may consider giving some different platforms a try:
Match
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: Match has facilitated the most dates and relationships of any dating site, and its large audience and high success rate make it our top review. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Match, a dating site that broke ground about five years before eharmony, is equally known for its emphasis on authentic, long-term connections.
The platform uses a combination of information derived from an in-depth onboarding questionnaire, location-based technology, and user behavior to present singles with compatible matches to browse through.
More recently, the dating app mogul has also started organizing in-person events through which its users can take a break from the endless swiping and shoot their shot with sexy singles in the flesh.
Similarly to eharmony, however, Match is a pay-to-play platform, so none of these matchmaking features are accessible to you without dropping a couple dozen bucks per month.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs
- Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more
- Our Experts Say: With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Arguably on the opposite end of the spectrum from eharmony is Ashley Madison. This platform, which was originally designed to help those hoping to enter into extramarital affairs, has since broadened its scope to include those who are simply looking for something on the down low — this could mean finding a third for your throuple, exploring your sexuality with someone new, and anything and everything in between.
While part of what the hookup app helps facilitate is unethical (and not something I necessarily condone), I’m just here to present the options.
If you don’t want to immerse yourself in these morally murky waters (and, similarly to the other platforms presented here, pay a fee to access the important features), fair enough. Plenty of apps are on offer.
eharmony Is Worth a Try — But It’s Not Your Only Option
When all is said and done, the feedback on eharmony is not unlike other platforms in the digital dating space: a mixed bag.
On the one hand, it serves as a viable option for singles looking to buckle down and take the love game seriously once and for all — emphasized by the app’s in-depth signup process and not-so-cheap monthly membership cost. On the other hand, not everyone has or will find success on eharmony, making the question of whether or not you’ll get a return on your investment a toss-up.
Ultimately, the risk is yours to take. If you find that the price tag doesn’t match the product, you’ve got plenty more options to explore, and I’ve mentioned some here in this guide. And so the search for love continues.
