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Lesbian Dating
Unless you, like my favorite marine friend Patrick Star, have been living under a rock, you know that the journey to find love in the technological era has proven to be quite grueling for single people of all demographics. When you zoom in on the bisexual dating community specifically, the journey is all the more arduous.
On top of the baseline difficulties of modern romance, bisexual singles have to face skepticism and invalidation from both gay and straight communities, often being told their sexuality isn’t real or that they need to “pick a side.”
Or, if the bisexual person in question is a woman, her fluidity is often seen as a turn-on for straight men. It’s fetishized in a way that’s borderline harassment and definitely creepy.
It’s tough out there for bisexual singles — which is why safe spaces where these individuals feel fully understood and accepted have become so necessary.
BiCupid, a dating platform designed for bisexual and bicurious users, is one of these safe spaces. Or, at least, they aim to be.
I wrote this comprehensive review to explain how the interface works, highlight some user feedback, and offer some similar dating app alternatives. By the end of it, you should know everything you need to make your dating experience more positive and intentional.
How It Works | Cost | User Reviews | Bi-Friendly Alternatives
Let’s start with the basics. BiCupid is a free dating platform — accessible on both iOS and Android devices — that touts having the “largest, most secure, and most effective” bisexual user base in the world.
With 230,000 monthly visitors, the platform is nowhere close to matching the influence of its mainstream competitor Tinder (boasting a whopping 75 million visitors per month), but it isn’t necessarily meant to, is it?
BiCupid is a niche service, after all — created for bi people seeking a long-term partnership, casual hookups, a third for their throuple, and pretty much anything else in between.
In terms of other important demographics, you can expect that most users fall between the mid-20s and mid-30s, and most (75%) identify as male (a topic that we’ll unpack later). Additionally, a majority of BiCupid account holders are U.S. citizens.
Signing up is easy enough, as is true for most dating apps you come across these days. If you want to skip some steps, you can log in through your social media platform of choice and have your information automatically filled in for you. Otherwise, you’ll be prompted to input your details manually.
In addition to providing your age and email address, you’ll be asked to provide your gender identification (19 options, including Prefer Not to Say) as well as your preference in gender identity of the person(s) you’re looking for (Woman, Man, Trans Woman, Trans Man, Couple, or Non-Binary). You can select multiple options.
Although these options are a lot more extensive than you’ll see on many mainstream dating apps, I want to note that BiCupid does not have options for couples to identify as straight, gay, or lesbian couples. Fingers crossed this is a change we can expect in the near future.
Next, it’s time to set up a profile. Here, you’ll fill out some basic information, such as country, ZIP code, and relationship status, with other details like height and ethnicity being optional.
Interestingly enough, you do not have to provide a profile picture to get swiping — however, as the site itself states, profiles with pictures get 20 times more views than those who don’t, so unless you’re in the mood to self-sabotage, I highly recommend throwing up at least one picture.
Once you’ve gotten your basic info filled out and (hopefully) a stunning selfie uploaded, you are free to get searching for your next bisexual babe, curious cutie, or flirty third for your throuple.
I’ll give it to you straight (no pun intended): The interface looks like it’s stuck in 1997. If you’re used to perusing more modern (and aesthetically pleasing) dating apps like Tinder, your first few minutes on BiCupid may feel a bit like a digital culture shock. But the platform itself still works just fine. Even if it is just a lil’ bit ugly.
Brace yourself for some unfortunate news: The usability of BiCupid, despite its relatively expansive user base, is quite limited without dropping some cash. With the free membership, you’ll be able to conduct searches, view user profiles (including their photo, name, age, and what kind of membership they have), and send virtual winks, but you won’t be able to send any personalized forms of communication.
I’d argue that this makes the free membership essentially useless, although there is one loophole that saves BiCupid’s butt on this one: As a free member, you can message a potential match if a paid member messages you first. But that is a big IF.
If you see dating apps as a worthwhile financial investment, you have the option of unlocking a Premium Membership.
The prices work like this:
With this exclusive membership, you will be able to message any fellow BiCupid user (whether you’ve been matched with them or not), see who’s been taking a peek at your profile, and access more advanced search filters.
Additionally, spending the money could be worth it if you’re interested in using a unique feature BiCupid calls “Reverse Matching.” With this clever (almost sneaky) feature, you are presented with all the users who have searched for characteristics that closely match your own.
For example, if you’re a 29-year-old bisexual Asian American male, the link may show you a list of BiCupid users who searched for any one or all of these characteristics.
I’d also be remiss not to mention a standout offering of BiCupid that may make both the time and the money investment worth it. Both free and premium members of this niche platform gain access to a community forum, where all things from dating advice to bi-erasure to first date ideas are discussed.
This safe space can be integral to helping closeted or newly out bisexuals find their footing as they explore this new (and often intimidating) path.
Talking about a platform’s tools and trinkets is one thing; seeing how effective that platform is at what it was designed to do is another thing entirely. BiCupid boasts having over 60,000 success stories, but that’s not the whole story. Our dating experts like to put their fingers to the pulse and see what the people are saying. And I mean really saying.
That said, I’ll be honest: There aren’t a plethora of online reviews to choose from (at least not on Reddit and Quora), but I did find a few worth mentioning. One man, for example, expressed frustration with the intentions of many of the people he came across on the app:
“I downloaded the app and created a profile (M60). Ended up uninstalling. There were some great looking guys close by to me, but no one seemed to be interested in making friends and building relationships, more like just hookups.” – TheShadowKnows63
Another user struggled with the small dating pool in their area:
“Tried it but found no one within the geographical boundaries in their settings; they always tried to match me with people over 30 miles away.”
The person who left this review didn’t indicate where they lived, but in my research, I found that many people outside of the U.S. have shared a similar struggle.
There were also several reviews complaining about the limited features for free members; one of these stated:
“The free features in this app don’t do anything to actually connect people. You can’t see likes unless you pay, or they message you (which no one does). I’ve literally matched with NO ONE for over a month. The free version is so bad that I have zero interest in seeing what the paid version offers. – Rachel Hahn-Koppe
However, on Google Play and Trustpilot, I found handfuls of users who have had better luck. One review briefly highlights the platform’s ease of use and focus on fostering community:
“I’ve tried several dating apps, but this one truly understands the nuances of bisexuality. It’s been a game-changer for me. The app runs smoothly and efficiently, making for a seamless user experience.” – Alex Redding
Another user shares some insights that may be helpful for those looking to add an extra character to their favorite bedroom games:
“If you’re looking for a triad, it’s a good place to vet couples. Verification is the most important feature for me on apps, and it has that so I recommend.” – Yhav Sims
And here’s one more piece of feedback that makes an interesting point about BiCupid’s effectiveness in finding more than just romance:
“If you are a bisexual man or woman and want to have a long-term relationship, please don’t hesitate to create a profile on bicupid.com and start your online dating journey. I’ve benefited a lot from it. I used to be a lonely bisexual woman, now I have many friends with common hobbies. We share our life with each other, and we treat each other as life partners.”– W. Sineateng
Based on these mixed reviews, I’d say that BiCupid is very much giving “hit or miss” energy, which is kind of the perfect way to describe the online dating game in general.
Ultimately, I think it’s up to you to make of it what you will. Try the free version and see how it goes. When it comes to love (and sex), you’ve got to be willing to take some risks.
You may give BiCupid a try and find that it just isn’t tickling your pickle. Or, after reading this review, you could be deterred from giving it a shot altogether. Either way, all is not lost. Check out these four alternative options for bisexual dating apps.
Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
Our Experts Say: “Match has facilitated the most dates and relationships of any dating site, and its large audience and high success rate make it our top review…” Full Review »
Browse Free: View Photos Now
User Base | Gender Ratio | Popularity (Visits/Mo.) |
Today’s Deal
|
All Singles* |
49%*
51%*
|
39.7 Million* | Try Match FREE |
Considered a pioneer of digital romance, Match could be better suited to you if your dating goals fall on the more serious side of the spectrum. The dating platform, which also happens to have one of the largest user databases in the world, integrates an intelligent compatibility algorithm based on dating goals and lifestyle preferences to present users with matches.
On the one hand, the substantial dating pool could give bisexual daters more chances to find what they’re looking for; on the other, Match is not specifically designed for queer people. Bisexual or bicurious users may feel that the app is limited in that it doesn’t provide filters by sexual orientation.
Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships
Match System: Personality test suggests matches
Our Experts Say: “Accounting for 2% of U.S. marriages, eharmony’s compatibility-based system and commitment-minded user base are ideal for those seeking a serious relationship…” Full Review »
Browse Free: View Photos Now
User Base | Gender Ratio | Popularity (Visits/Mo.) |
Today’s Deal
|
All Singles* |
48%*
52%*
|
4.1 Million* | View Profiles FREE |
eharmony is one of the dating app OGs. It is known for using an in-depth questionnaire to connect singles based on character traits described in the Five-Factor Model of Personality.
Bisexual singles looking for a genuine long-term partnership may find this a uniquely helpful approach. eharmony was not created with queer or open relationships in mind, but it has become noticeably more LGBTQ-friendly of late.
HER is a dating app for queer people. More specifically, LGBTQ+ women and non-binary folks. Not only does HER serve as a safe space for bisexual users to seek their next long-term relationship or threesome without judgment, but it also offers a community.
Account holders can access a Social Feed that almost makes you feel like you’re scrolling through social media. HER also has discussion boards where inquisitive users can chat about all things queer dating. And you should definitely check out the listings of local LGBTQ+ events and meetups where digital connections can turn real.
Think of Grindr as the gay guy’s paradise, as long as he’s hoping for quick sex with men. Known around the world as the leading gay hookup app, Grindr has over 27 million users, all male and seeking companionship.
The Grindr app is a great option if you’re a gay, bisexual, trans, or non-binary person looking to get in and out — or at least swipe on some shirtless hotties.
All in all, BiCupid could be a solid option for bisexual people, bicurious singles, or polyamorous couples. The free membership, although limited, helps daters dip their toes into the waters of bisexual dating in a safe, non-judgmental space.
Then, if or when you feel ready to deepen your experience, you could venture down the path of premium membership to unlock more features.
There are never any guarantees, of course, which is why I recommend not putting all your eggs in one basket. Sign up for multiple apps at once, or, if you get easily overwhelmed by the options, download one app for a month and then rotate to the next.
As much as you may not want to hear it, the more time you spend and the more platforms you investigate, the higher your chances are of finding what you’re looking for. So refrain from hanging out too long under that rock. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. No one ever found love by keeping to themselves.
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