Key Takeaways
I’ve spent the last 11 years testing dating apps and rating how they work. This is my assessment of Kasidie and similar swinger sites.
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Kasidie is a tight-knit online community dedicated to ethical non-monogamy.
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I used the free membership at first and quickly realized it’s very limited. After upgrading, I could enter chatrooms, send DMs, and view events.
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The best free alternative to Kasidie is AdultFriendFinder.
There’s no doubt that ethical non-monogamy has become more mainstream in recent years. In my research across different dating apps, I’ve seen clear trends that more and more people are either actively seeking non-monogamous relationships or at least open to it.
Kasidie, an “ENM Lifestyle” site, has been around since the early 2000s. I was curious about the site’s marketing claims that it’s not just a dating or hookup site, but a community centered on the ENM lifestyle.
The Kasidie homepage has hot pink accents and is full of erotic photos featuring people engaged in BDSM and other kinks. It’s intriguing and, as I found out, incredibly easy to set up an anonymous profile.
My Experience Signing Up for the ENM Community
Creating a Kasidie account took all of two minutes. I entered a username, my email, and whether I was registering as a “single female, single male, or couple.” I checked a box that I was over 18 years old, and agreed to the Terms of Agreement.
I uploaded a photo of myself, set my age and location (I chose Denver, Colorado at random), and… I was in! No email verification necessary. My location wasn’t verified either.
How It Works: I Give Kasidie 3 out of 5 Stars
Once I was logged in, Kasidie greeted me with a completely different interface – one that took me back to the days of MySpace. It took me a minute to get oriented. I’ll break it down for you tab by tab.
Home
The main space had three sections that all got straight to the point.
- MyWall: I could post my status (with the flirty prompt “What are you doing right now?” I could post a photo with a caption, add a link, or check in to a Kasidie party or event.
- Cinema: Beneath MyWall were photos posted by users. The majority of them were, let’s say, NSFW.
- Rendezvous: This was a list of active users looking to meet up, organized by which day of the week they wanted to meet. Without a premium account, I wasn’t able to view the full profile or message users.
There were a good number of active users on Rendezvous: 55 users who wanted to meet up “today” and 96 users who wanted to meet up “tomorrow.” The only filter available was “Do not display solo males.”
I started with a free membership but quickly realized that was look but don’t talk, so I upgraded to get the full experience. Here’s a taste of what I could view with a paid membership:
Now you may notice this gentleman refrained from showing his face in his profile photo. This is pretty typical. Kasidie even promotes that its privacy features include “anonymous browsing and profile concealment.” That means members can conceal or reveal themselves as much as they want.
Chatrooms
I needed to be a paying member to join the chat room too. One Kasidie chat room had users from across the country, with 120 members posting intimate photos. I also saw a Direct Message section, which again, was only available to paying members.
Profiles and Photos
This was like the Rendezvous page, but with more filters available:
- Profile keywords
- Whether I was looking for couples, single females, single males, or hotwives
- Location: filtering by miles from my city
- Membership: Did I want to see all members, or only elite-certified members?
- What other users are looking for: Couples, single females, single males, or hotwives?
- Certified Type: Did I only want to see celebrities? Founders? Travel agents? Podcasters?
- His & Her Basics: If I was looking for couples, I could set preferences for his and her body type, sexuality preferences, play comfort, smoking, and drinking.
Something I noticed and didn’t love about the search options for couples was that it was presumed that all couples were straight — there was nowhere to set a preference for same-sex couples.
Communities
With a paid membership, I could join various interest-based groups – like Facebook groups – and filter by location. I had to send a request to join a community. The community options included:
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Arts & Entertainment
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Hobbies
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Sexuality
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Autos & Motorcycles
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Writing
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Food & Drink
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Music
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Photography
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Politics
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Travel
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Sports
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Spirituality & Religion
By far the most popular community was Parties, Clubs & Events (for obvious reasons). It had 781 groups and 532,242 members. Sexuality was popular as well, with 480 groups and 203,123 members.
Those groups seemed a bit overwhelming to me. I preferred the more niche Writing community with just five groups and 725 wordy members.
Parties & Events
This page was locked behind a paywall. Once I upgraded my account, I could see different swinger and kink parties in my local area and beyond.
Travel
For users with a trip coming up, the travel tab can be an asset. It allows you to set your location, the date range you’ll be there, and post your trip! You can then scroll through users who will be in the same place as you.
This is a fun and practical feature for users who are actually motivated to meet. But it isn’t included in the basic package. I could only access this page with a paid account.
Forums
From “Health & Fitness” to “Clubs & Parties,” Kasidie’s chat forums are active, with multiple posts within the last few days. The forums offer space for people to post their thoughts, help each other out with swinging advice, and build community around shared interests.
Kasidie isn’t the biggest swinger site out there, but it did seem to be active, if a bit spread out. As long as you’re willing to travel for dates and swinger parties, I don’t think you’ll have trouble finding IRL connections here.
My Messages
Within five minutes of creating a premium profile, a single, bisexual male going by Lovebreasts wrote “Welcome to the neighborhood!” on MyWall. His profile said he was interested in “full swaps.” We were off to the races.
I received a handful of DMs in my first week. Unsurprisingly, they all came from men. Some just said, “Hello,” while others tried to instigate more conversation (Where are you from? How are you tonight? What are you into?), all pretty polite and standard dating app greetings.
Looking at the profiles messaging me, I saw a lot of variety. Some guys had dozens of erotic, NSFW photos posted on their profile, leaving nothing to the imagination. Others had just one picture and a vague description like “new to the area.”
Pros
- Many engaging features, including chatrooms
- Active and diverse users
- Detailed profiles that read as real to me
- Couples can openly date without judgment
Cons
- Free membership is very limited
- Complicated interface; a lot of tabs
- No LGBTQ+ couple options
- No way to filter out nude photos
Most profiles I saw had a detailed description section. Some were explicit with their sexual preferences, while others described themselves as “open-minded.”
I received a few flirts within hours of making my profile — some from couples, and others from single men. Safe to say I felt flattered, but not overwhelmed, by the amount of interactions my profile received. It was promising and actually did make me feel welcome.
3 Best Swinger Alternatives
For queer couples, singles wanting to join the kink community without a specific interest in the swinger community, and users who don’t want to pay for a premium account, I would recommend one of these alternative sites:
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn’t about making friends, it’s about finding hookups and casual encounters. No adult site has a larger or more active user base of those seeking discreet fun.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
If you’re looking for X-rated content, sexual meetups, AdultFriendFinder is popular, active, and full of nudes. The registration includes options for couples, which is a plus for swingers who want a shared account, and there are kink filters and fetish groups that fit the ENM lifestyle.
With over 105 million profiles, AdultFriendFinder is much bigger than Kasidie, and its community forum has similar meetup postings and sexually charged flirting. The big upside on AFF is that commenting on posts and photos is free, so it’s not just the paid members having all the fun here.
On AFF, you can search for matches by age, location, appearance, and sexual interests (including threesomes, orgies, and group sex). AFF also offers chat rooms and a “Who’s Hot” tab with trending X-rated media.
Fling.com
- Relationships: Casual Dating, Hookups, Friends with Benefits
- Match System: Search filters
- Our Experts Say: “Fling.com keeps things casual and connects horny adults with video and direct messaging. It doesn’t ask for real names, but it will verify photos as genuine to ensure catfish don’t last long here!” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
The name Fling.com is pretty accurate – it’s a great site if you are looking for sexting, swinging, or any type of casual encounter.
Fling has a diverse user base, attracting men, women, nonbinary singles, and couples. You can filter profiles based on their kinks, and some direct messaging tools are available for free. The video chat and livestream features sit behind a paywall, but we consider Fling a “mostly free” site where it’s possible to make a connection without paying.
Unlike Kasidie, Fling allows users to filter what level of nudity they want to see (None, some, or everything). If you choose to filter nudes, instead of naked bodies, you’ll see a gray photo with a warning that the content is for adults only. You can click to view it or keep on scrolling.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dating, Kinky Chats
- Match System: Search by age, location, gender, kinks, and appearance
- Our Experts Say: “KinkyPeopleMeet is a sex-driven site where kinksters share their fantasies without shame. It’s a dynamic community for hooking up. And the photo and video galleries offer plenty of titillating inspiration as well.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
KinkyPeopleMeet is a sex- and kink-positive dating site with a lot of engaging features, including a wall with social media-like posts (but raunchier), an Online Now section, and robust profile filtering.
It offers more verification options than Kasidie, so that built up my trust when I saw a blue checkmark on a photo or a gold member badge on a profile. The majority of tabs and spaces are accessible to free members, but some paid features, including video chat rooms, require an upgrade.
With more options for sexual interests and plenty of X-rated content, KinkyPeopleMeet is great for users who have specific fetishes and want partners who have similar interests.
Who Kasidie Helps
Poly Couples: I think it’s safe to say this community mostly helps swinging couples. The vast majority of profiles I saw were couples ranging from their mid-30s to late-50s.
Bi-Curious Singles: When I filtered for single males and single females, I saw a dozen or so singles in my city using Kasidie to meet up with couples. Most identified as bisexual or questioning.
Casual Sex Seekers: If you want to sext or find a hookup on the down low, this isn’t a bad spot to have a look around. Some areas cost money, but the sexual banter on every page is pretty liberating.
What’s Free & What Costs Money?
I’ll be honest, Kasidie is geared toward paying members. The site has some free features, but there are major limitations, including not being able to send direct messages, which means paying members have the upper hand.
| Free Features | Paid Features |
|---|---|
| Profile creation | Unlimited messaging |
| Receive emails | Access chat rooms |
| See basic party information | Full party access |
| Accept friend requests | Full profile browsing |
| Send friend requests | |
| Create events | |
| Join and start communities | |
| Access to forums | |
| Access to photo walls, videos, and an abundance of X-rated content |
With a free account, I felt like I was window shopping on Kasidie, with little means to actually engage with other users. Good for lurking, not good for actual dating or swinging.
Once I had a premium account, I had access to an open-minded, active, and diverse community. I could chat. I could create events and send friend requests. It became much more likely that I’d really meet someone here.
Is Kasidie Worth It? I would recommend a paid membership to Kasidie to couples who are searching for a larger swinger community and singles who are looking for group sex. There was an abundance of X-rated content in chat rooms, on photo walls, and in profiles.
Is Kasidie a Good Site? I Say Yes!
I recommend Kasidie for swingers and adults seeking to explore sexual encounters of all types. From what I could tell, it has a real and active user base of ENM couples and singles. It’s a kink community with chatrooms, events, videos, photo walls, and private messaging, so there’s a lot to explore.
My time on Kasidie never felt boring. Each time I logged on, I noticed a feature I hadn’t seen prior. With so many features encouraging group chats and IRL activities, joining Kasidie truly felt like joining an ENM and kink-friendly community.
I’d say the only real downside is it’s not totally free. The premium membership opened up a world of options for me, but if you’re not willing to pay for online dating, then look into free adult sites like Fling.com that’ll give you more leeway for less cash.
