15 Best Men-Seeking-Men Personals Sites of (2019)

Gay Dating

15 Best Men-Seeking-Men Personals Sites of (2019)

Amber Brooks Amber Brooks
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Children didn’t always have a lot of openly gay couples to look up to on TV. I mean, there was Bert and Ernie (come on, we all know they’re more than just roommates). However, most old-school television shows would only feature a gay best friend without a love interest, and his role was to support his friends on their love stories — not create one of his own.

Then in the late 1990s, groundbreaking TV shows like “Will & Grace” and “Modern Family” challenged traditional stereotypes and showed that gay relationships are (this may shock you) pretty much the same as straight relationships. Just with a better sense of style.

Nowadays, if you’re looking for the Mitch to your Cam or the Bert to your Ernie, you don’t have to look very far. The online dating scene has many LGBTQ-friendly resources where gay guys are the star of the show.

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Top Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites (#1-3)

You may think of online dating as a straight person’s game, but you’d be wrong. Online dating is for everybody, and it works especially well for singles in niche communities. According to a 2016 Match.com survey, 56% of LGBTQ singles have dated someone they met online. The following dating sites offer men-seeking-men options to help you get off the bench and into the game.

★★★★★
4.9/5.0

Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships

Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more

Our Experts Say: “Match.com has a massive and extremely active gay user base, as over 1 million gay, bisexual, and curious men use the site to find dates and partners...” Full Review »

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Match has a diverse membership base in terms of background, nationality, and orientation. This dating site has been around longer than any other dating site, and it’s still racking up success stories. It’s basically the queen of online dating. No matter what type of date you’re looking for, you’re sure to find it in Match’s treasure trove of profiles.

★★★★★
4.7/5.0

Relationships: Serious Relationships

Match System: Search, Receive Partner Suggestions

Our Experts Say: “Not only is Elite Singles exclusively for educated professionals, but it also has a diverse user base made up of millions of gay and bisexual men...” Full Review »

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As a relationship-seeking space, EliteSingles prides itself on being a cut above the rest. This international dating site has attracted thousands of discerning daters seeking a gay relationship. Over 80% of its members have earned at least a bachelor’s degree, and over 90% are interested in finding the real deal and settling down.

★★★★★
4.7/5.0

Relationships: Fun Dates, Serious Relationships

Match System: Search and get match recommendations

Our Experts Say: “Gay, bisexual, and curious single men love Zoosk because it's quick, easy, and really successful...” Full Review »

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Zoosk is headquartered in San Francisco, so you better believe this dating site is gay-friendly. In 2007, the startup launched a dating site that would use powerful social networking tools (newsfeed, behavioral, and lengthy profiles) to upgrade the online dating scene. And it took off. Today, Zoosk has over 40 million members in 80 countries.

Top “Free” Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites (#4-6)

Going out on a date every weekend can get expensive, so singles should look for savings wherever they can. Maybe that means heading to the bar early for happy hour, or maybe it means checking out the free features on dating sites and apps. By joining a free dating site, you can get the lay of the land and browse profiles without spending a cent of your hard-earned cash.

★★★★
3.5/5.0

Relationships: Hookups, Chats

Match System: Search by encounter, location, and more

Our Experts Say: “We highly recommend BeNaughty to gay, bisexual, and sexually curious men because it's free, it's easy, and it really works...” Full Review »

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Gay singles enjoy the dating-free-for-all available on BeNaughty. The hookup site is all about removing inhibitions and encouraging online flirtation. You don’t have to pay a subscription fee to send messages on the platform, but you do have to upload a photo — singles without pictures don’t show up in search results and can’t chat on BeNaughty.

5. Grindr

Grindr is pretty much universally known as one of the most popular gay dating apps around. In the 2018 movie “Love, Simon,” Simon’s dad hilariously refers to it as “Like Facebook for gays.” Not exactly. It’s more like a slam book for gays. You have the chance to rate date prospects on a straightforward hot-or-not scale, and the ones who like you back will show up in your mutual matches. That’s when the real fun begins.

Screenshot of Grindr's homepage

Grindr has approximately 3.8 million users spread across 100+ countries.

As a casual men-only app, Grindr offers 100% free communication (though you can only contact guys who like you back) to all its members. Since 2009, it has endeavored to support the LGBTQ community and provide a safe space where gay singles can feel accepted and valued.

6. Tinder

Much like Grindr, Tinder needs no introduction. It’s the original dating app. It invented swiping, for crying out loud. Since 2012, this dating app has seen billions (yeah, with a B) of swipes and facilitated an ungodly number of first dates and hookups. And some relationships, too, I’m sure.

You can join the swipe life by downloading Tinder for free. As the app says, “Single is a terrible thing to waste.”

Top “Backpage Alternatives” for Men Seeking Men (#7-9)

Backpage was a popular classified ads website launched in 2004, but a slew of troubling and unethical incidents led the U.S. Justice Department to shut Backpage down in 2018. The CEO pleaded guilty to charges of facilitating prostitution and money laundering. It was a whole big mess.

The sad part is not everyone on Backpage were skeevy, sex-crazed perverts and criminals. Some were legit looking for a date. Where do those folks go now? We’ve picked up some upstanding dating resources that can offer a reliable alternative to Backpage. These sites have a similar personals-driven interface, but include more robust protections for user privacy and safety.

★★★
3.4/5.0

Relationships: Daters & Hookups

Match System: Search by age, zip code, more

Our Experts Say: “With more than 79 million users, MenNation is among the largest gay and bisexual dating and hookup site in the world. A basic membership is 100% free, and it allows you to upload info and photos, browse, and chat...”

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We rank MenNation as among the best gay personals sites around because it’s a free, fun, and flirtatious place to meet guys. The site has millions of active members, and it’s a sexually stimulating guys-only network. Gay singles and couples don’t have to be coy while mingling on MenNation, aka the world’s largest gay hookup site.

MenNation is a safe and trustworthy alternative for former Backpage users. The site allows its members to report abuse or sexually explicit ads, so the site can take appropriate action to protect people. Plus, MenNation is mobile-friendly, so you can access it on your phone without downloading an app.

8. Craigslist

While Craigslist no longer has a dedicated personals section, it’s still a hot spot for singles looking for friendship, camaraderie, and, let’s be honest, sex. They’re just not as in-your-face about it as they used to be. If you hang out in the community section, you’re bound to find folks seeking some one-on-one time.

The Activities, Missed Connections, and General groups are good places to start. You can do a keyword search through Craigslist ads to find gay singles on the lookout for a hot date.

9. OkCupid

In 2014, OkCupid became the first dating app to offer 22 gender and 13 orientation options for its users. This inclusive move earned it top marks among the LGBTQ community, and the platform has continued to position itself as an ally to singles who go against the grain and dare to be different.

Screenshot from OkCupid

Gay singles can use OkCupid’s free chat features to create a deep romantic connection.

OkCupid offers a data-driven match system based on profile information and answers to personal questions ranging from “Do you like beer?” to “Are you afraid of death?” The site is responsible for over 50,000 first dates a week and over 90 million connections a year, so we’d say it’s a pretty effective (not to mention legal) alternative to Backpage.

Top “Black” Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites (#10-12)

Gay singles already have a smaller dating pool than straight singles do, and it can narrow even further if you’re looking for a specific type of date. It can be extremely difficult to find a minority group within a minority group, and that’s why niche dating sites exist. Singles can target gay black dates by joining niche dating sites and apps where they’re in the majority.

★★★★
4.0/5.0

Relationships: Deep Relationships or Just Casual Dates

Match System: Search by location, age, more

Our Experts Say: “BlackPeopleMeet is a go-to dating site for gay, bisexual, and curios black and biracial men, and it has a free membership option...” Full Review »

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BlackPeopleMeet is an obvious choice for black and biracial singles in the U.S. It’s the largest African-American singles network in the world, and it’s still growing. Over the last 17+ years, BlackPeopleMeet has made a name for itself as the most reliable and successful black dating site you can find, no matter what your orientation.

Gay singles can join BlackPeopleMeet for free and set their dating preferences, so only gay men appear in their search and match sections.

11. PlentyOfFish

With over 1 billion messages sent a month on the site, PlentyOfFish prides itself on being “the best dating site for conversations.” It’s free to send messages on POF, as singles call it, and you can browse under a username (not your real name) to stay anonymous while you browse.

PlentyOfFish gives its members a chemistry test to determine the individual’s relationship needs and cultivate successful matches on the site. You can read its success stories here.

12. Hornet

Young. Hip. Fast-paced. Hornet is all that and more. The dating site and app supports a community of gay singles seeking meaningful connections, not just hookups. The digital network boasts over 25 million members of all ages and backgrounds. Hornet is available on iOS, Android, and the web.

Screenshots of the Hornet app

Hornet’s live newsfeed makes the dating platform feel like a social networking site.

Unlike some other gay dating sites, Hornet’s founders and leadership team are part of the LGBTQ community, so it’s mission is personal to them. The platform has done its best to not only facilitate dates but to offer a sense of belonging for gay men around the world.

Top “Older” Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites (#13-15)

Once you reach a certain age, meeting new people isn’t so easy. For one thing, you may not be into the party scene anymore. For another thing, you may have already dated all the cuties in your friend group. That’s when it’s time to branch out and find an age-appropriate dating scene where your maturity won’t be counted against you. Check these over-50 dating sites out next time you’re interested in finding a daddy, a bear, or a silver fox.

★★★★
4.4/5.0

Relationships: Dates and Relationships

Match System: Search by profiles by zip and more

Our Experts Say: “OurTime is a fantastic option for gay, bisexual, and curious single men age 50 and up, as the site's user base is very active...” Full Review »

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OurTime is a high-quality dating site powered by the Match Group, which runs popular dating brands in over 190 countries. Since its launch in 2017, OurTime has made headlines as the fastest-growing senior dating site around. It welcomes gay, straight, lesbian, and bi singles seeking companionship and a new lease on life.

★★★★★
4.5/5.0

Relationships: Friendship, Casual Dates, Serious Relationships

Match System: Search by age, location, height, education, ethnicity, and religion

Our Experts Say: “..” Full Review »

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Niche dating sites, like Silver Singles, have done a lot to change people’s perceptions about singles of a certain age. Not all over-50 daters are afraid of technology or hesitant to meet someone new. It can actually be exciting to get back into the dating scene and feel like a teenager again.

SilverSingles encourages its members to take the plunge, defy stereotypes, and make their golden years truly special. Free membership includes profile setup, browsing, and limited communication.

15. GayCupid

Although GayCupid isn’t strictly a senior dating site, it does have a strong foothold in the over-50 demographic. Cupid Media network owns this international dating service and introduces thousands of singles online. You can check out GayCupid’s success stories here.

New members automatically receive a free three-month trial period during which they can access all the premium features on GayCupid, including free messaging. After the three months is over, GayCupid members must upgrade their accounts to continue using the site to meet date prospects.

How is a Personals Site Different From a Dating Site?

We receive this question a lot, and I totally get it. Personals sites look a lot like dating sites. They both have new members create a profile, they both have some sort of live messaging system, and they both intend to facilitate dates and relationships. The difference is in the details.

Dating personals have fewer bells and whistles to distract and hamper singles in their search for a date. Here are the hallmarks of a dating personals site:

  • Abbreviated profiles (ads)
  • No match algorithms
  • Simple search filers (gender, location, or keyword)
  • No likes, favorites, or mutual matches
  • Free, unlimited messaging

Most people use personals sites and traditional dating sites interchangeably because they’re so similar. However, dating sites (and apps) put more effort into curating matches, while dating personals sites are happy to get out of the user’s way and let him decide what he wants.

What Happened to Backpage, and is Craigslist a Good Alternative?

We’ve touched on Backpage’s sordid history and demise earlier in this article, but I’ll spill more of the juicy details here, too. The FBI worked alongside the IRS, the Department of Justice, and the U.S. Postal Inspection service to seize Backpage.com in April 2018. You know it’s bad when even the Postal Service is after you. The government charged seven people in a 93-count indictment on charges that included sex trafficking and money laundering.

It sounds like a straightforward good-guys-win and pimps-go-to-jail story, right? Well, the fallout has been a little more complicated than that.

Screenshot of Backpage.com

In April 2018, the Backpage company pleaded guilty to human trafficking.

The Cut published an interesting piece about sex workers’ reaction to Backpage’s shutdown. A 20-year-old Muslim woman said, “Backpage is currently — or it was — my sole source of income,” and others pointed out that not having a platform to screen dates could make them more vulnerable to johns looking to take advantage of the situation.

But what’s done is done. The personals site is no more, the CEO pleaded guilty, and singles have to find a backup Backpage. The top candidate is Craigslist, a classified ads site, but it actually shut down its personals section in early 2018. You can still meet singles through the site’s discussion forum, which has a m4m section where gay men congregate, but there’s no longer a dedicated space for soliciting dates or sex on Craigslist.

“Any tool or service can be misused,” Craigslist stated in its announcement of the shutdown. “We can’t take such a risk without jeopardizing all our other services.”

What Does “M4M” and “MSM” Mean?

People throw around a lot of jargon in the dating scene, and it’s important to know what they’re saying so you don’t wind up in an awkward situation. If someone asks you to P&P, for instance, and you show up with a copy of “Pride and Prejudice,” you’re both going to be in for a surprise.

So, what does M4M mean? That’s an easy one. Men for men! I mean, I guess the person could also be referring to the M4M boy band, but it’s not that likely. In the context of a personals site, M4M is code for “I’m a guy looking for guys.” MSM (men who have sex with men) amounts to the same thing. When you see MSM or M4M on a dating personal, it’s a green light for gay singles.

It’s Raining Men on Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites

Americans still have a long way to go in terms of true equality and LGBTQ representation in society, but we’ve made significant progress in Hollywood at least. In 2017, even Disney broke with its princesses-seek-princes tradition and featured its first gay kiss on the animated series “Star vs. the Forces of Evil.”

Gay men have really come into their own in the last decade or so, and many niche dating services celebrate their right to pursue anyone and everyone they like. It’s never been easier for men seeking men to get together. We’ve listed some of the best gay-friendly dating personals in multiple categories to help you take center stage and find the star-studded romance you deserve. Good luck!