We didn’t always have a lot of openly gay couples to look up to on TV. I mean, there was Bert and Ernie (come on, we all know they’re more than just roommates). However, most old-school shows and movies would feature a gay best friend without a love interest. His role was to support his friends on their love stories — not create one of his own.
Over time, groundbreaking TV shows like “Will & Grace” and “Modern Family” challenged traditional stereotypes and showed that gay relationships are (this may shock you) pretty much the same as straight relationships. Just with a better sense of style.
These days, if you’re seeking the Mitch to your Cam or the Bert to your Ernie, you won’t have to search too far. The online dating scene is brimming with LGBTQ-friendly resources and men-seeking-men sites where gay guys take center stage.
Top Men-Seeking-Men Dating Site (#1)
You may think of online dating as a straight person’s game, but you’d be wrong. Online dating is for everybody, and it works especially well for singles in niche communities. According to a 2022 Pew Research Center survey, about 51% of lesbian, gay and bisexual adults have ever used a dating site or app. The following dating site offers men-seeking-men options to help the average gay person get off the bench and into the game.
Match
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: Match has facilitated the most dates and relationships of any dating site, and its large audience and high success rate make it our top review. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Match has a diverse membership base in terms of background, nationality, and sexual orientation. This dating site has been around longer than any other dating site, and it’s still racking up success stories. It’s basically the queen of online dating. No matter what type of date you’re looking for, you’re sure to find it in Match’s treasure trove of dating profiles stretching from New York to Seattle — not to mention 50 countries abroad.
Top “Free” Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites (#2-4)
Going out on a date every weekend can get expensive, so single men should look for savings wherever they can. Maybe that means heading to the bar early for happy hour, or maybe it means checking out the free features on dating sites and apps. By joining a free dating site, a single guy can browse profiles without spending a cent of his hard-earned cash.
NaughtyCharm
- Relationships: Hookups, Chats
- Match System: Search by encounter, location, and more
- Our Experts Say: NaughtyCharm is a premier hookup app where you can feel comfortable expressing your desires. Plus, it's free to join, browse, and flirt.
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Gay singles enjoy the free dating features available on NaughtyCharm. The hookup site is all about removing inhibitions and encouraging online flirtation between potential matches.
You don’t have to pay a subscription fee to connect with a cute guy the platform, but you do have to upload a photo — singles without pictures don’t show up in search results and can’t chat on NaughtyCharm.
3. Grindr
Grindr is pretty much universally known as one of the most popular gay dating apps around. In the 2018 movie “Love, Simon,” Simon’s dad hilariously refers to it as “Like Facebook for gays.” Not exactly. It’s more like a slam book for gays.
Gay singles have the chance to rate local date prospects on a straightforward hot-or-not scale, and the ones who like you back will show up in your mutual matches. That’s when the real fun begins.
As a casual men-only app, Grindr offers 100% free communication (though you can only contact guys who like you back) to all its members. Since 2009, it has endeavored to support the LGBTQ+ community and provide a safe space where gay singles can feel accepted, valued, and loved.
4. Tinder
Tinder needs no introduction. It’s the most popular dating app in the whole freakin’ world. It invented swiping, for crying out loud. Since 2012, this dating app has seen billions (yeah, with a B) of swipes and facilitated an ungodly number of first dates and hookups. And some relationships, too, I’m sure.
Gay singles can join the swipe life by downloading Tinder for free. As the app says, “Single is a terrible thing to waste.”
Top “Backpage Alternatives” for Men Seeking Men (#5-7)
Backpage was a popular classified ads website launched in 2004, but a slew of troubling and unethical incidents led the U.S. Justice Department to shut Backpage down in 2018. The CEO pleaded guilty to charges of facilitating prostitution and money laundering. It was a whole big mess.
The unfortunate reality is that not everyone on Backpage was a sketchy, sex-crazed criminal. Some genuinely sought a date. So, where do those folks go now? We’ve gathered some reputable dating resources that offer a dependable alternative to Backpage. These sites have a similar personals-driven interface but come with more robust protections for user privacy and safety.
MenNation
- Relationships: Daters & Hookups
- Match System: Search by age, zip code, more
- Our Experts Say: MenNation is a well-established gay dating and hookup brand, having been founded in 1996. It's totally free to join, view profiles, receive matches, and flirt. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
We rank MenNation as among the best gay personals sites around because it’s a free, fun, and flirtatious place to meet guys. The site has millions of active members, and it’s a sexually stimulating guys-only network. Gay singles and couples don’t have to be coy while mingling on MenNation, aka the world’s largest gay hookup site.
MenNation is a safe and trustworthy alternative for former Backpage users. The site allows its members to report abuse or sexually explicit ads, so the site can take appropriate action to protect people. Plus, MenNation is mobile-friendly, so you can access it on your phone without downloading an app.
6. Craigslist
While Craigslist no longer has a dedicated personals section, it’s still a hot spot for singles looking for friendship, camaraderie, and, let’s be honest, sex. They’re just not as in-your-face about it as they used to be. If you hang out in the community section, you’re bound to find folks seeking some one-on-one time.
The Activities, Missed Connections, and General groups are good places to start looking for hot guys in your area. You can do a keyword search through Craigslist ads to find gay singles and get in touch through private messages.
7. OkCupid
In 2014, OkCupid became the first dating app to offer 22 gender and 13 sexual orientation options for its users. This inclusive move earned it top marks among the LGBTQ+ community, and the platform has continued to position itself as a staunch ally to singles who go against the grain and dare to be different.
OkCupid offers a data-driven match system based on profile information and answers to personal questions ranging from “Do you like beer?” to “Are you afraid of death?”
This online dating site and app help set up more than 50,000 first dates each week and create over 90 million connections annually. We’d say it’s a pretty effective (and completely legal) alternative to Backpage.
Top “Black” Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites (#8-9)
Gay singles already have a smaller dating pool than straight singles do, and it can narrow even further if you’re looking for a specific type of date. It can be extremely difficult to find a minority group within a minority group, and that’s why niche dating sites exist. Singles can target gay black dates by joining niche dating sites and apps where they’re in the majority.
8. Plenty of Fish
With over 1 billion messages exchanged each month, Plenty of Fish proudly calls itself “the best dating site for conversations.” It’s free to send messages on POF, as it’s known, and you can browse under a username (not your real name) to keep your browsing anonymous.
Plenty of Fish gives its members a chemistry test to determine the individual’s relationship needs and cultivate successful matches on the site. You can read its success stories on the site.
Plenty of Fish is perfect for single men who are looking for casual encounters or some lighthearted chat with no commitments. The personals section is buzzing with flirtatious vibes, so go ahead and message that attractive guy in your area.
9. Hornet
Young. Hip. Fast-paced. Hornet is all this and more. This dating site and app foster a community of gay singles who are looking for meaningful connections, not just casual flings. With over 25 million members, the network is diverse in age, background, and sexual orientation.
Hornet is available on iOS, Android, and the web.
Unlike some other gay dating sites, Hornet’s founders and leadership team are part of the LGBTQ+ community, so it’s mission is personal to them. The online dating platform has done its best to not only facilitate dates but to offer a sense of belonging for gay men around the world.
Top “Older” Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites (#10-11)
Once you reach a certain age, meeting new people isn’t so easy. For one thing, you may not be into the party scene anymore. For another thing, you may have already dated all the cuties in your friend group. That’s when it’s time to branch out and find an age-appropriate dating scene where your maturity won’t be counted against you.
Check these over-50 dating sites out next time you’re interested in finding a daddy, a bear, or a silver fox.
OurTime.com
- Relationships: Dates and Relationships
- Match System: Search by profiles by zip and more
- Our Experts Say: OurTime is well-known in the over-50 dating crowd, particularly because it has a ton of helpful search features and an easy layout. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
OurTime is a high-quality dating site powered by the Match Group, which runs popular dating brands in over 190 countries. Since its launch in 2017, OurTime has made headlines as the fastest-growing senior dating site around. It welcomes gay, straight, lesbian, and bi singles seeking companionship and a new lease on life.
DateMyAge
- Relationships: Serious Dating, Long-term Relationships, Pen Pals
- Match System: Search filters, Suggested matches
- Our Experts Say: DateMyAge provides local and international matches for singles who are over 50 and hoping to entertain a long-term love interest. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Niche dating sites, like DateMyAge, have done a lot to change people’s perceptions about singles of a certain age. Not all over-40 daters are afraid of technology or hesitant to meet someone new. It can actually be exciting to get back into the dating scene and feel like a teenager again.
DateMyAge encourages its members to take the plunge, defy stereotypes, and make their golden years truly special. Free membership includes profile setup, browsing, and limited communication. Some of its best couples love stories include men finding a long-term partner.
How is a Personals Site Different From a Dating Site?
We receive this question a lot, and I totally get it. Personals sites look a lot like dating sites. They both have new members create a profile, they both have some sort of live messaging system, and they both intend to facilitate dates and relationships. The difference is in the details.
Dating personals have fewer bells and whistles to distract and hamper singles in their search for a date. Here are the hallmarks of a dating personals site:
- Abbreviated profiles (ads)
- No match algorithms
- Simple search filers (gender, location, or keyword)
- No likes, favorites, or mutual matches
- Free, unlimited messaging
Most people use personals sites and traditional dating sites interchangeably because they’re so similar. However, dating sites (and apps) put more effort into curating matches, while dating personals sites are happy to get out of the user’s way and let him decide what he wants.
What Happened to Backpage? Is Craigslist a Good Alternative?
We’ve touched on Backpage’s sordid history and demise earlier in this article, but I’ll spill more of the juicy details here, too. The FBI worked alongside the IRS, the Department of Justice, and the U.S. Postal Inspection service to seize Backpage.com in April 2018. You know it’s bad when even the Postal Service is after you. The government charged seven people in a 93-count indictment on charges that included sex trafficking and money laundering.
It sounds like a straightforward good-guys-win and pimps-go-to-jail story, right? Well, the fallout has been a little more complicated than that.
The Cut and The New Yorker published related articles about sex workers’ reaction to Backpage’s shutdown. A 20-year-old Muslim woman said, “Backpage is currently — or it was — my sole source of income,” and other women pointed out that not having a platform to screen dates could make them more vulnerable to johns looking to take advantage.
But what’s done is done. The personals site is no more, the CEO pleaded guilty, and singles and sex workers have to find a backup Backpage. The top candidate was Craigslist, a classified ads site, but it actually shut down its personals section in early 2018. You can still meet singles through the site’s discussion forum, which has a m4m section where gay men congregate, but there’s no longer a dedicated space for soliciting dates or sex on Craigslist.
“Any tool or service can be misused,” Craigslist stated in its announcement of the shutdown. “We can’t take such a risk without jeopardizing all our other services.”
What Does “M4M” and “MSM” Mean?
People throw around a lot of jargon in the dating scene, and it’s important to know what they’re saying so you don’t wind up in an awkward situation. If a gay man asks you to P&P, for instance, and you show up with a copy of “Pride and Prejudice,” you’re both going to be in for a surprise.
So, what does M4M mean? That’s an easy one. Men for men! I mean, I guess the person could also be referring to the M4M boy band, but it’s not that likely. In the context of a personals site, M4M is code for “I’m a guy looking for guys.” MSM (men who have sex with men) amounts to the same thing. When you see MSM or M4M on a dating personal, it’s a green light for gay singles.
It’s Raining Men on Men-Seeking-Men Dating Sites
Americans still have a long way to go in terms of true equality and LGBTQ+ representation in society, but we’ve made significant progress in Hollywood at least. Gay love stories appear on shows like “Love, Victor” and “Schitt’s Creek” and are now the new normal across networks. In 2017, Disney broke with its princesses-seek-princes tradition and featured its first gay kiss on the animated series “Star vs. the Forces of Evil.”
From gay bars to personal ads, today’s gay men have plenty of ways to meet new people. Men-seeking-men dating services celebrate a guy’s right to pursue anyone he fancies.
It’s never been easier for men seeking men to get together. We’ve listed some of the best gay dating personals in multiple categories to help local men take center stage and find the star-studded romance they deserve. Good luck!
