A survey found 88% of gay men are open to or actively seeking a relationship, and something like 65% of gay couples say they met online, so you have pretty good odds of finding love on a gay dating app or site. If you choose the right space, that is.
How do you choose which dating site to join? Our experts have done some of the heavy lifting by investigating apps like Grindr, Taimi, eharmony, and SCRUFF to see if they measure up.
For this list specifically, we had a checklist of criteria needed to help relationship seekers. Of the 15 apps we tried, only four checked all the boxes. Check out our scoresheet:
| Dating App | Caters to Relationships | Free Messaging | Is Verification Mandatory? | Privacy Controls | Download Stats |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tinder | No | Yes, matches only | No | Paid only | 630 million members |
| Grindr | No | Yes, matches only | No | Paid only | 140 million members |
| Adult Friend Finder | No | Public posts only | Age only | Yes | 105 million members |
| Hornet | No | Yes, matches only | No | Yes | 100 million members |
| Match | Yes | Yes, matches only | Yes | Yes | 96 million |
| OkCupid | No | Yes | No | Paid only | 50 million members |
| eharmony | Yes | Yes, some limits | Yes | Yes | 45 million |
| Hinge | Yes | Yes, matches only | No | Yes | 32 million members |
| Taimi | Yes | Yes | No | Yes | 31 million members |
| SCRUFF | No | Yes, some limits | Just age | Paid only | 30 million members |
| OurTime | Yes | Yes, matches only | Yes | Yes | 20 million |
| JACK’D | No | Yes | No | Yes | 15 million members |
| MenNation | No | Public posts only | Just age | Yes | 8 million members |
| Butterfly | Yes | Yes, some limits | Yes | Yes | 1.4 million members |
| Archer | No | Yes, matches only | Yes | Paid only | 1 million members |
Without further ado, let’s check out the winners:
1. Match
Match sees more than 13.5 million visitors a month, and it has over 1 million gay members in its global database. Since 1995, Match has distinguished itself as a personality-driven dating site, meaning it puts your likes and preferences first when suggesting profiles.
The majority of Match users are tired of the fast-paced and superficial swiping scene of Grindr and Tinder. They’re looking for something deeper, and that’s why they level up to this relationship-driven space.
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: Match has a massive and extremely active gay user base, as over 1 million gay, bisexual, and curious men use the site to find dates and partners. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Besides a welcoming atmosphere and stellar reputation, Match has some cool matchmaking features to distinguish it from other gay dating apps. First of all, it’s not just swiping on a photo. Profiles have interesting prompts, demographic details, and interest-based tags to let you know what matters to them.
Match allows free chatting for all users who form a mutual match, and it has a Date Check-In system to ensure individuals feel comfortable meeting in person and can take safety precautions when needed.
2. eharmony
eharmony caters to gay singles who are looking for a steady commitment. The longstanding dating site has become popular among single professionals who want to invest in their love life and find a partner for the long run.
Joining eharmony involves filling out an in-depth personality quiz that asks questions about your values, habits, and goals. The site uses this information to calculate compatibility scores and create personality breakdowns that can inform a man’s dating decisions.
- Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships
- Match System: Personality test suggests matches
- Our Experts Say: eharmony has opened its registration to same-sex couples, including gay men, so everyone can benefit from its psychology matching system. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
The free membership is a bit limited, and I’d encourage anyone serious about finding a date on eharmony to go for the six-month upgrade to really make an honest try at finding true love.
When talking about gay dating sites for serious relationships, eharmony is always in the mix because of its devotion to quality over quantity.
3. OurTime
Out of all the senior dating sites out there, OurTime is the best choice for gay singles who are over 50 and looking for a meaningful relationship. As a Match Group property, it offers smart, personality-driven matches and enough free communication to schedule a date.
- Relationships: Dates and Relationships
- Match System: Search by profiles by zip and more
- Our Experts Say: OurTime is a fantastic option for gay, bisexual, and curious single men age 50 and up, as the site's user base is very active. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
OurTime is known for its mature membership base, and it has long inspired relationships and friendships between singles in their 50s and older. Gay members can benefit from its slower pace and more thoughtful matchmaking.
The search filters are flexible, so you can adjust the mile radius and age range you’re looking for in a date.
From a vast and energetic user base (did I mention more than 1.4 million people go to the dating site each month?) to an easy-to-use layout, OurTime takes the complications out of gay senior dating.
4. Butterfly
Finally, we have Butterfly, which is a transgender dating app and definitely an underdog going into this list ranking. But its quality verification and dedication to online safety won us over. Plus it offers free messaging, so a gay man really can’t ask for better support.
- Relationships: Casual Dating, Serious Relationships, Chatting
- Match System: Search Filters, match suggestions
- Our Experts Say: Butterfly is a safe space for transgender and genderfluid people seeking a partner. The platform checks and approves all profiles to ensure fake profiles aren’t an issue, and all communication is closely monitored.
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
I liked how easy it is to sign up for Butterfly. The profiles aim to deliver necessary information, not out anybody, and there are dozens of gender identities and orientation options to choose from. A liveness check is required, which essentially eliminates the possibility of running into a catfish here.
Butterfly isn’t the largest dating app ever, and the team knows that, so they don’t restrict matches by location. A gay guy would have to pay to match outside his ZIP code on Grindr or Tinder, but on Butterfly it’s part of the deal.
FAQs: Is Tinder Good for Gay Dating?
Tinder has worked hard in recent years to become more gay-friendly and encompass more non-binary gender options and sexual orientations, and we applaud the fact that its expansion has led to more than 80 million matches between queer singles.
Tinder is without a doubt one of the biggest names in online dating right now. I mean, it invented swiping on matches, so it’s a pretty big deal. It’s true that Tinder can offer a sea of dating profiles, no matter if you’re gay, bisexual, queer, or questioning.
“Tinder has a larger audience. That’s the only reason I prefer it. Otherwise, as long as it’s not Grindr I’m happy!” –Reddit user
Millions of LGBTQ+ people are active on Tinder. This is a great app for people who want to get a lot of connections going and do their own compatible vetting. Who knows? You may get lucky enough to meet someone special.
How Does Grindr Work?
Grindr is a dating app designed to help gay men meet one another online. Some say this gay-only app is only good for finding casual hookups, but actually, it works for men seeking a serious relationship as well.
In fact, about two-thirds of Grindr users say they’ve fallen in love with a person they met on the app, and another 84% believe it’s possible to find a soul mate on Grindr.
Since launching in 2009, Grindr has amassed a membership base of over 145 million users, and it sees nearly 4 million visitors every day.
If you want extra bang for your buck (pun intended), you can always upgrade to Grindr Xtra, which not only eliminates ads but also provides extra swiping features. Grindr users with this premium subscription can use additional search filters, swipe on over 600 profiles, save chat messages, and lock the app using a PIN.
Which Gay Dating Apps Offer Free Chatting?
Good news for budget-conscious daters, several gay dating apps let you message matches without paying. Here’s a breakdown of the free messaging options available:
- Taimi — unlimited free messaging for all users
- Butterfly — free messaging with some limits
- eharmony — free messaging with some limits
- Match — free messaging for mutual matches
- OurTime — free messaging for mutual matches
- OkCupid — free messaging, though you must wait for a match to unlock the conversation
- Grindr — free messaging for mutual matches
- Hinge — free messaging for mutual matches
- SCRUFF — free messaging with some limits
- JACK’D — unlimited free messaging
Of the apps we recommend for relationships, Taimi stands out for offering the most open free messaging experience, while eharmony and Butterfly offer free communication with a few restrictions in place.
How Can I Find a Gay Date?
Online dating is the most effective way to pick up a date these days, and that’s especially true in the LGBTQ+ community. It’s much easier to find viable matches when you can view someone’s sexual orientation and dating intentions on their profile. After all, not everyone’s gaydar is 100% accurate.
Our experts recommend showing up with clear boundaries and dealbreakers. Let the person know upfront if you want a serious relationship or if you’re open to non-monogamy. Gay men can make their own rules. They don’t have to follow a prescribed relationship escalator.
Be sure to choose a popular gay dating site like the ones on this list. The point of online dating is to surround yourself with options, and it works best when the swipe list has more than one or two profiles available.
What’s the Most Popular Gay Hookup App?
If you’re looking for a sexual encounter, a hookup app can provide a lot of satisfying connections and help you find a local who’s up for anything. Grindr has over 140 million male users, so it definitely has a claim to be one of the most popular apps for gay dating.
Many Grindr users swear by the app’s location-based settings, which highlight profiles that are nearby. Sometimes in the very same gay bar or club. This is a hotbed for flirting, pick-up lines, and one-night stands.
Is Grindr the Only Gay App for Men?
No, while Grindr was among the first gay dating apps to exclusively serve men, it has quite a few competitors. The Hornet app is probably one of the largest alternatives to Grindr, and we’ve also seen a lot of positive reviews about JACK’D and SCRUFF.
Grindr may have paved the way in the online dating scene, but gay guys now have tons of other apps available to help them to pick up dates on a Saturday night.
Is It Safe to Meet Someone on a Gay Dating App?
It’s natural for a gay, bi, trans, or queer person to have safety concerns when entering the online dating scene. LGBTQ+ singles are unfortunately more likely to be harassed on dating sites, and closeted individuals can also have fears about being outed before they’re ready.
That’s why gay dating apps have to be particularly serious about online safety and privacy. The legit ones take extra precautions to ensure things stay on the up and up. Here are just a few ways that dating sites can build user trust:
-
Selfie verification
-
Age checks
-
Social media signup
-
Two-factor registration
-
Last login status
-
Photo guidelines
These security measures can go a long way to reassure newcomers of their date’s legitimacy. And I know it’s a bit of a bummer, but a paywall on messaging can also actually provide more safety because scammers are more likely to be drawn to the free-to-chat sites.
And, of course, online daters should always look out for the warning signs of scam artists, such as claiming to need money for an emergency and making unbelievable claims about wealth or investment opportunities.
Online dating is safe as long as individuals use good judgment and choose safe dating sites where they can vet and verify legit matches.
Get Serious & Find Compatible Dates Online
If you’re looking for love on a gay hookup app, you’re bound to feel pretty worn down and frustrated. But all it takes is one compatibility-driven app to bring you back into the game. We’ve ranked and reviewed the best gay dating apps for relationships to help you turn your luck around.
If you take our advice and choose your next dating app wisely (avoiding Grindr’s swipe trap), you’re sure to find someone who has the same interests and values as you — and that could lead to a serious relationship. Good luck!
