When singles ask me which dating app I recommend, I always ask them right back, “Well, what are you looking for?” It really depends on them.
If you’re dreaming about a long-term relationship and willing to invest in the dating experience, then eharmony is about as good as it gets. It’s proven effective since its launch in 2000.
eharmony has a complex matching algorithm that considers 32 dimensions of compatibility, and it requires a good bit of time (about 20 to 30 minutes) to put a profile together.
What I personally appreciate about eharmony is its slower, quality-first approach. It’s such a breath of fresh air for people who’ve been on Tinder or Grindr. Swiping apps have a “grass is always greener” interface that exploits people’s desire for validation and connection.
Forget swiping for the next best thing. The real work is in filling out a profile in an honest and thorough way. eharmony has dozens of profile prompts that encourage users to reveal who they are and what they want. So make the most of it!
Let’s get into some prompts I recommend to create a well-rounded profile that’s sure to bring in those quality matches.
Priorities: “The most important thing I’m looking for in a person…”
This question can help you show your emotional availability and illustrate what you want your future relationship to be like.
You can mention qualities that have been important to you in previous relationships, values you look for, or how you act when in a relationship. Keep it short and simple.
Here are some examples:
- “I’m looking for a person who is kind and has a great sense of humor.”
- “I’m very family-oriented and look for someone who values the same.”
- “I hope that my future partner communicates well through conflict.”
All of these paint a picture of the deeper relational qualities you value.
I’d recommend you avoid phrases like “does not” or “cannot.” Such negatives will turn people off. Instead, consider the positives you actually desire.
Too many people use their dating profiles to complain about past partners or project insecurities. And while knowing what you don’t want is a great start, it’s important to sit with the question of what you do want instead.
Saying “I don’t want someone who is passive-aggressive” doesn’t land as well as saying, “I’m looking for a partner who is family-oriented, loves adventure, and communicates confidently.”
Values & Beliefs: “The most influential person in my life…”
While it might feel counterintuitive to talk about someone else on your dating profile, sharing insight about the person who’s most influenced your life will reveal a lot about your underlying belief systems.
The more you write in this section, the more your future matches understand not just how you see your life, but the story of how those values came to be. In short, it makes you sound like a well-rounded human. Any opportunity to do that online is a plus.
When you answer this prompt, you want to share who this person is to you and write about the specific quality, value, or story that has influenced you.
It’s also important to relate it back to you and give insight into how you’ve used that as inspiration to build your own life.
For example, “The person who has influenced my life the most is my mother. She is someone who cares deeply about people and always brings them together. I’ve similarly adopted this mentality and do my best to host dinner parties with those I love.”
If you can be specific, you’ll make your profile stand out and give potential matches a conversation starter they can use to get to know you better.
Self-Awareness: “The one thing I wish people noticed about me is…”
This is your chance to share parts of yourself that most people might miss or overlook. Shine a light on the pieces of your life that matter most to you.
For this question, you’ll want to go beyond achievements or humblebrags. Think about what characteristics make you a great partner.
If I’m reading a dating profile, I’m going to care less about how successful you are and more about your growth, your passions, and how you show up for people. The goal is to make the person reading want to be part of your inner circle.
- “People tend to see how hardworking I am, but I wish people knew just how much I care about showing up for those I love.”
- “I’m not just a jock. I actually like to read, and I have seen a lot of sci-fi shows.”
- “I’ve got a lot of side hustles, and I’m actually great at time management. Weird flex, I know, but I’m proud of how much I pack into a day!”
The idea is to go beyond the exterior and reveal something that isn’t that noticeable, but is a big focus for you in life.
Just be careful with responses that come across as unhealed challenges like,“I wish people saw how much I do for everyone.” The underlying tone could indicate you have some resentment that needs to be addressed.
Be sure your responses are coming from a place of grounded confidence.
Emotional Availability: “The one thing that will always cheer me up…”
While ice cream, going on a run, or binge-watching your favorite series might feel like the easy answer, you’re trying to attract a compatible partner. All of the examples I shared are things you can easily do for yourself.
Even though a certain amount of independence can be attractive, this prompt provides an opportunity to share how another person can brighten your day. It shows them that the cheerful version of you is easily within reach.
- “Cooking dinner together”
- “A cuddle puddle while listening to our favorite vinyl.”
- “Being surprised with my favorite dessert.”
All of these answers give insight into your interests, love language, and what someone can look forward to being in a relationship with you.
Vision: “A dream I would like to come true…”
What kind of future do you imagine in 10 years? Is there room for a romantic partner in this dream? While it may be tempting to focus on personal projects like writing that book or learning to play guitar, remember to leave space for another person to join you.
Describe dreams that include a romantic partner. That way ,they know you’re interested in building a future with someone by your side.
- “Buying a forever home with my partner and planting a garden of herbs and vegetables.”
- “I want to visit the seven wonders of the world. All I need is the right travel buddy to come with me.”
- “I’ve already adopted one dog, and I’m looking for my other half to adopt and coparent a whole pack.”
These are great examples that voice a clear interest in creating a life with someone. You’re inviting anyone reading your profile to answer back, “Me too.”
Routine: “A perfect day for me…”
Here you can give your future partner a preview of what daily life would be like together.
Talk about where you spend most of your time, how social you are, and things you’d like to do with your partner.
Keep it achievable and avoid the fantasy. No private jets, meeting celebrities, and private chefs…unless of course that’s your real life.
Potential partners will be more interested in a realistic view of your activity level, how early you get up, and how you spend your time.
- “A perfect day for me involves sleeping in and cuddling with my future partner. I do some yoga, read a book, and enjoy a date night listening to music at a local venue.”
- “A stack of pancakes. A dog leash. An open book. Good conversation. Maybe a nightcap while watching reality TV. What more could a man want?”
- “As long as I start the day with a cuddle and end the day with a cuddle, it doesn’t matter what goes on in between.”
A couple specifics and a good amount of humor will do nicely here. Have fun with it!
Playfulness: “An odd habit of mine…”
Prompts like this can be a fun way of sharing unique interests or personality quirks.
I like dating profiles that are one-of-a-kind. I say show off your lovable quirks. Talk about what makes you unique.
It’s best to avoid habits that signal bad hygiene, emotional distance, or instability. No one wants to hear about the sounds you make while clipping your toenails.
Whatever habits you have, make sure you keep them light and fun. It might sound like this:
- “I have to make a curated playlist for every occasion.”
- “I spend too much time watching dog grooming videos on YouTube.”
- “I have a horrible habit of coming home with a new plant every time I go out.”
- “I tend to bring a book wherever I go. I even have one in my glove compartment!”
All of these examples show a glimpse into your personality that’s fun, joyful, and honestly attractive.
Adventure: “My most unforgettable travel story…”
Telling your unforgettable travel story is great if you love to travel and are looking to find someone with a similar sense of adventure.
If you’d rather skip the airfare and enjoy a staycation, maybe avoid this prompt and shoot for the “I would never ever…” prompt.
Consider sharing a story that says something about you. Perhaps you can highlight your bravery with the time you hiked Machu Picchu in a rainstorm. Or maybe you emphasize your problem-solving skills by describing how you had to find your way to a hotel in a country where you didn’t speak the language.
You could also show your good sense of humor and positive attitude by sharing the time you were stuck in an airport for two days and went on a hunt for the best appetizers at JFK.
These examples highlight specific qualities that would make someone want to be your travel buddy.
Nothing coming to mind? Then maybe say something like: “My most unforgettable travel story hasn’t happened yet, but I’m looking forward to going around the world with my partner.”
Travel stories should be fun and spark conversations. Leave the messy details and complaints out of it.
What I mean is it’s probably best to avoid the story where you got drunk in Mexico and had a whirlwind romance with one of the locals. Imagining you making reckless decisions or having casual sex might not be the attractive story to your future partner.
FAQs: Is eharmony Worth It For Gay Men?
I’d say yes. If you are someone who is tired of fast-paced dating apps, ready to meet commitment-oriented matches, and have the budget, I’d definitely recommend trying eharmony.
- Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships
- Match System: Personality test suggests matches
- Our Experts Say: eharmony has opened its registration to same-sex couples, including gay men, so everyone can benefit from its psychology matching system. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Many users on eharmony are looking for a serious commitment, so that changes the tone of online dating for the better and makes it feel more mature than just swiping for hotties.
Keep in mind that eharmony does come with a price tag because communication isn’t included for free. That premium can be worthwhile because it means only serious daters and single professionals bother investing in this love-driven dating experience.
How Accurate Are the Compatibility Ratings?
Many users say the matches are pretty accurate. Users get a lot of data breakdowns and graphs to explain why a particular dating profile could be aligned with yours.
Since 1997, the company has invested heavily in using psychological principles to determine compatibility. Its Love Lab has created one of the most sophisticated matchmaking algorithms in the industry.
Can You Change Compatibility Answers on eharmony?
Once you submit your answers on the compatibility quiz, there is no going back. Take your time and be thorough. These answers are final.
Users can update their profiles and photos as much as they’d like, but they’d need to create an entirely new profile to answer differently on the compatibility quiz and try to change their match algorithm.
Is eharmony Gay-Friendly?
Yes, the dating platform is currently inclusive of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and non-binary dating.
While eharmony hasn’t always been gay-friendly, the platform has made extensive changes to become more inclusive of all identities and sexualities. Since 2017, eharmony has included options for queer singles to select the gender(s) they’re interested in and expanded its options outside the gender binary.
In 2023, eharmony partnered with the LGBTQ+ advocacy group GLAAD to make improvements to the site. The goal was to better serve the queer community.
The eharmony mantra is all about healthy, lasting love, and the team has really put in the work to prove themselves an ally for LGBTQ+ dating.
Does Online Dating Really Work for Gay Men?
Yes. Dating apps remain the number one way for LGBTQ+ people to meet each other. One survey published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences discovered that 60-65% of LGBTQ+ couples met online compared to only 39% of heterosexual couples.
Meeting online comes with some clear advantages.
Online dating is a safer choice for LGBTQ+ people because it allows for screening and vetting matches before meeting in person.
It also helps that you’re not having to guess if the cutie you’re chatting with in line at Trader Joe’s is also part of the community. You can put the gaydar away and focus on getting better at flirting, dating, and building that healthy relationship you’re looking for.
Anyone in a small town or rural area knows that online dating is pretty much the only way to identify and meet gay dates.
Honest Answers Lead to Healthy Relationships
If you’re ready to take dating seriously, eharmony is a fantastic platform to try. It puts quality over quantity. Rather than telling you how many eligible dudes are at the same bar, it curates a short list of profiles and provides data-driven insights on how your personalities would mesh.
I hope the examples I provided for eharmony prompts can help you make a good impression and attract the right sort of people to your inbox.
Of course, the most important thing to remember when answering these prompts is to be honest. Honest answers will attract the person who will love and appreciate you for being you.
