OurTime is a popular dating site for mature singles who are looking for a smarter, more rewarding way to meet and date people who share their values and interests.
But as a lesbian matchmaker, I understand how online dating can be intimidating, particularly for older singles in the LGBTQ+ community. That’s where I come in to help make it seem less scary to create a dating profile, no matter your age.
Here’s what you need to know to get started with OurTime quickly and painlessly, so you can focus on making the connections that matter.
What’s OurTime?
OurTime is a dating app tailored specifically around the needs of mature singles over the age of 50. It aims to connect people who are looking for meaningful, authentic connections later in life. The service is available as a website and an app, and it is designed to be easy to navigate and simple to use.
- Relationships: Dates and Relationships
- Match System: Search by profiles by zip and more
- Our Experts Say: “OurTime gives lesbian singles over 50 a dating pool of their own, where every woman is at the same stage of life.” Our Review »
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OurTime offers free messaging features and unlimited free profile browsing as well as more sophisticated features (profile boosts, lifestyle search filters, and seeing who’s liked you) available with a paid subscription for one month, three months, or six months. I’ll get into the pricing later on in this article. First, I want to talk about how to get results online.
How to Make the Most of OurTime in 4 Simple Steps
OurTime is designed to be beginner-friendly, but like anything else, there’s still a learning curve. I want you to how it works and have a strategy for success, so I’ve come up with four priorities for you to pay attention to as you search for romance.
1. Complete Your Profile
The first thing to do when using OurTime is to set up your profile. And I always say to fill in all the optional sections so other users can get to know you and determine whether you might be a match for them. More information gives the algorithm more to work with, and that means more curated matches.
OurTime requires adding at least one photo to your profile, and it recommends uploading at least three to make yourself stand out.
You’ll want to add a nice photo where you’re smiling — and it should clearly show your face. Make sure your photos are recent (like within the last 2-3 years) and don’t include any identifying information (like your home address or workplace). No one else should be in the picture but you. OurTime has cropping tools if you need them. Don’t use filters.
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OurTime provides write-in space to describe yourself and what you want. Talk about your identity, your values, and your hobbies. Don’t mention past relationships or things you don’t like about dating. Be positive and describe the important things that matter in your life.
2. Set Search Filters
The Discover page on OurTime shows profiles that are a good fit with your stated preferences. However, if you’d like to search on your own for matches or have the algorithm curate better selections, you can go into the search parameters.
You have a number of search options in OurTime. Free members can filter your search results based on age, distance, has children, and wants children. Searching by religion, politics, height, pets, interests, or keyword is all paid plan territory.
OurTime has search tabs where lists are autogenerated as well. Mutual Search is designed to show you matches who are potentially compatible with you. They fit your search parameters, and you fit theirs. Reverse Search is programmed to show users who are looking for someone like you. Note that they might not meet your set criteria.
You can also filter by who’s online right now. I would advise using that tool in the evenings (which is high-traffic times) when looking to spark instant conversations.
All users can benefit from using the search function; you’ll likely have a better experience with the app if you take charge of your own experience to some degree and actively look for users who are a good fit.
3. Learn to Recognize Quality Matches
As I mentioned, OurTime will show you top picks based on your stated preferences. The list of suggested matches will reflect the preferences and priorities you’ve set, so it’s helpful to be mindful and honest about what you’re looking for.
The match system isn’t perfect. Algorithms do not know exactly what you need in a partner. They’re looking for patterns in the types of profiles you like and message, and that can be hit or miss. Take it with a grain of salt.
Look for profiles that fit your lifestyle. Maybe you’re both active at the gym or you are avid travelers. Identify the compatibility points that go beyond physical attractiveness. A good match isn’t necessarily someone who is exactly like you, but they should have similar goals and core values.
It’s also important to know that OurTime’s LGBTQ+ following is still growing. That has nothing to do with the inclusivity of the site itself. It actually has over 30 gender options. But you may find it helpful to expand your distance radius to 50+ miles to get more options.
Even if the person isn’t exactly a next-door neighbor, you might have enough in common to bridge the distance and make the connection worthwhile.
Take time to consider each profile. As I’ve said, the senior LGBTQ+ dating pool isn’t the largest, so it won’t serve you to be dismissive or overly picky. Go over the match suggestions with care. Daily matches will be sent to the email address you’ve shared with OurTime, so that should make it easy to keep on top of potential connections.
4. Messaging and Meeting
Messaging is central to online dating (how else are you going to get to know people!), but it may also be limited by your plan. Free members can message their mutual matches for free on OurTime, but they cannot see who’s liked or viewed their profile.
I recommend creating an intentional, healthy pace of profile browsing and messaging to avoid the frustration of an empty inbox.
Pro Tip: Don’t let matches or messages sit unanswered for longer than a day or two. Respond quickly to show you’re genuine and serious.
If you’re committed to staying on the free plan, it can be helpful to prioritize sending likes on a consistent basis. This gives your better chances of making more matches.
Say more than just “hi there” in your message. Make sure it’s tailored to the person and what they wrote in their dating profile.
Is OurTime Safe?
Yes, OurTime is considered a trustworthy site with decent verification, moderation, and reporting tools in place. However, users should also know to look for the red flags of catfish and scammers, just in case. Here are some major warning signs of a romance scam:
- The profile contains few specific details.
- The photo is blurry, edited, or AI-generated.
- The person claims to live or work overseas.
- They avoid getting on a video call or meeting in real life.
- They ask for a loan, investment, gift card, or favor.
If you’re messaging on OurTime regularly, it’s important to keep safety in mind — avoid giving out personal information that could allow another user to identify you or where you live, and beware of any attempts to get you to make an account elsewhere, switch to another app, exchange money, or get you to make a commitment to someone you haven’t met in person.
If you move forward with making plans with a match, it’s always safest to meet for the first time in a public place, and to let others know where you’re going and with whom.
Should I Upgrade to Premium?
One thing to note is that different features are available for paid users of OurTime, and you can buy extras like Super Likes and Profile Boosts as often as you like. Sometimes the paid perks are worth it, especially if your free membership isn’t gaining traction.
I think of the paid features like a fast lane, getting you where you want to go that much more quickly.
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I particularly think seeing who’s liked you can make a big difference. Paid profiles also get more visibility on OurTime, so upgrading can lead to more attention from users.
If you’re struggling to make matches or are finding it difficult to connect with users who don’t fit your standards, it can be helpful to upgrade.
Is OurTime Good for Serious Relationships?
OurTime is a mature site that prioritizes long-term relationships and serious companionship. I wouldn’t recommend it for casual dating, though that isn’t prohibited there. The setup is just more personality-driven and detailed, so it works better as a compatibility matchmaker.
When you join OurTime, you have space to tell your life story and explain why you’re on the app. It’s so much more than a quick byline. I saw many profiles talking about their family dynamic. After all, many of us mature daters have children from previous relationships or exes that we coparent alongside. Our lives are already stable and fulfilling; we just need to find someone who fits into that.
How Many People Should I Message Each Week?
I recommend sending an initial message to every person you matched with. Ideally, between one to three people. Being responsive is a good way to move the connection forward and show you’re not the typical flaky online dater.
If you start to feel like you’re chatting with too many singles at once (as in, three or more matches), then it’s time to be deliberate and determine which ones you’re actually interested in meeting in person.
How Long Should I Chat Before Meeting?
About one to two weeks of chatting is ideal before meeting in person. Don’t delay it so long that the match loses momentum, or you become pen pals content to write messages without ever doing anything in real life.
The point of online dating is to meet someone, so get that first date on the calendar shortly after you’ve done the small talk and established there’s enough in common to merit a meeting.
Why Are People Using OurTime? Because It Helps!
Dating is hard for everyone, from every walk of life and every age range. But for gay singles over 50, dating has unique challenges. Online dating can actually help LGBTQ+ singles be honest about their intentions and desires in a way that’s refreshing and effective at making connections.
In today’s digital world, it’s often expected that we’ll find dates or partners online, but the biggest apps (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble) are aimed at younger generations. That’s where OurTime is different. It’s designed for mature dating.
Joining OurTime aim can make it easier and more accessible to meet people who are looking for the same thing you are and have similar life experiences. I hope my strategies and tips have given you the knowledge you need to navigate this new online dating chapter with confidence. Best of luck!
