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Online Dating
Maybe it’s just me, but it feels like the dynamics of modern dating are changing by the day. More and more people are ditching the rules and regulations of the standard romantic couple and opening their relationships to third (or fourth or fifth) parties. And, honestly, who am I to judge? Considering the high divorce rate in the United States, they may just be onto something.
If this resonates with you — and you and your partner are considering introducing some new characters into the romance plotline — we probably won’t be the first to tell you that dating apps are a good place to start your search. What people may not have told you, however, is that Tinder is not one of those apps.
There have certainly been a fair share of Tinder success stories, but, ultimately, the app was not designed with the tools to help you with this particular type of dating. Don’t let that deter you from taking your search online, though! If the “three’s a party” approach is something you’re genuinely curious about, apps that can help you make it happen abound. Let’s take a look.
Dating Apps | Relationship Apps | Couple Dating Tips
Tinder may not be great at getting you the ménage à trois or throuple you’re shooting for, but don’t fret! Apps commonly referred to as “Tinder for Couples” are here to help.
Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs
Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more
Our Experts Say: “With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships…” Full Review »
Browse Free: View Photos Now
User Base | Gender Ratio | Popularity (Visits/Mo.) |
Free Trial
|
All Singles & Attached* |
71%*
29%*
|
65 Million* | Browse FREE |
I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t Ashley Madison a cheating app?” Yes and no. It’s true that the app was originally intended as a platform for married individuals seeking extramarital fun. But its uses — much like modern day dating rules — have experienced a transformation. Now, Ashley Madison has also become a hub for couples seeking to crank up the heat of their sex lives with a third-party bedroom guest.
Entering into this uncharted territory may feel intimidating to new couples, which is why so many users appreciate Ashley Madison’s top-level privacy features. You and your partner can rest assured that the details of your latest sexual escapades are yours — and yours only — to reveal thanks to the app’s option to create anonymous profiles, blur photos, and share private albums to those with granted access.
Relationships: Hookups Only
Match System: Search by location, interest, more
Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn’t about making friends, it’s about finding hookups and casual encounters. No adult site has a larger or more active user base of those seeking discreet fun…”
Browse Free: View Photos Now
User Base | Gender Ratio | Popularity (Visits/Mo.) |
Free Trial
|
All Singles* |
65%*
35%*
|
25.5 Million* | 3 Months @ $19.95/Mo |
A dating platform whose popularity first skyrocketed in the early 2000s, Adult Friend Finder helps connect singles and couples with adult “friends” to have fun with. (As you’ve probably picked up on, this isn’t the kind of fun you have at a theme park or bowling alley).
The website’s user-friendly interface and comprehensive search filters enable users to find everything from hot and steamy solo hookups to threesomes with swingers and everything in between — a sexual sampler, if you will. So, whether you and your partner are on the lookout for a one-and-done type of deal or a more consistent arrangement, AFF is a must-try option.
As a couple who leans toward the sexually avante-garde, you’ll likely feel right at home using Feeld. Spend a few seconds on the landing page of this website and your eyes are magnetized to words and phrases like “progressive,” “open-minded,” and “intense human experiences.”
Designed for both singles and couples seeking exploratory relationship encounters, Feeld — formerly known as 3nder — serves as a safe space for people of all genders, sexualities, and backgrounds to create joint couple profiles that help them find the non-traditional fun they’re looking for.
The online dating app’s progressive nature means the platform attracts more of a younger user base. In fact, most of its account holders fall between the ages of 26 and 32. But singles and couples of all ages find their way to this app and the extracurricular thrills they’re searching for.
This top contender is one you may have already heard of: OkCupid. It positions itself among many of the world’s most popular — and traditionally monogamous — dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Badoo. From its early days in 2004, OkCupid set a forward-thinking agenda to support single adults of all ages and backgrounds.
After seeing an uptick in polyamorous relationships in the United States around 2016, the app’s creators decided to use their platform as a hub for singles and couples to explore nontraditional dating dynamics with comfort and ease. Couples cannot create joint profiles, but each member of the couple is permitted to link their partner’s profile to theirs and search for others to join in their relationship.
Oh, and fun fact: OkCupid was one of the very first mainstream apps to have this poly dating feature! We love a trendsetter.
Although polyamory and other ethical non-monogamous relationships work for many couples, people in relationships often seek third sexual partners out of a desire to end to their bedroom boredom. According to the Journal of Sex Research, 27% of women and 41% of men are sexually dissatisfied in their current relationship. This can be a consequence of the demands of parenthood, difficulties with communication, and resentment — all of which fall under the category of: Lack of connection. The three apps discussed below were created to help couples rediscover that spark.
At its very core(al), the Coral app is designed to be a catalyst for “happier, healthier, and more pleasurable sex.” Individuals in each couple create personal accounts that connect to one another. Then they use tools — such as messaging prompts, guided communication exercises, and sex tips ranging from solo fun to genital massage — to reestablish the sexual intimacy and passion they need to keep the bedroom (or car or shower) a fun and exhilarating place to be!
I like Mellow Mushroom as much as the next girl, but I don’t go there for dinner every single Friday. Why? Because repetition is boring. Humans need change! It keeps us feeling stimulated and engaged and excited about life.
The same goes for dating. It’s cute to have a handful of go-to spots or date ideas that you and your partner love, but it’s important to mix it up whenever possible. Using an app like Let’s Go, doing so is that much easier.
Let’s Go — which refers to itself as the “Couples Date Night App” — has built-in tools to help you and your partner ditch decision fatigue and plan creative, off-the-beaten-path outings. The platform has a Date Night Map that uses your geolocation to find the best restaurants and date night hot spots in your area. It also has a Date Night Generator that uses your preferences to provide tailored recommendations for exciting and romantic adventures. And it has a messaging feature to connect you and your partner while you discuss upcoming plans.
If you’ve had access to the internet at any point over the past five years, you’ve probably heard of the five love languages: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch. Gary Chapman — the renowned counselor and author behind this conceptual model — created Love Nudge for couples to use to better nourish their relationships.
“The app completes the package. If you’re serious about improving or maintaining your relationship, this app is great.” — Tyshon, a Love Nudge user
Using virtual tools such as quizzes, goal-setting exercises, and “nudges,” you and your partner can discover your individual love languages and use your newly gained insights to more effectively support one another. So, whether your go-to way of staying connected is cuddles on the couch, weekly date nights, or sticky notes filled with sweet nothings, Love Nudge helps hold you and your partner accountable as you find ways to meet in the middle.
If after learning about these alternative options you still feel like Tinder is the answer you need, go for it. We’re a dating advice website, not the relationship police, after all. However, if you do want to shoot your shot on the famous fire emoji app, there are a few things you should know first.
Just because Tinder is blasé about hookups doesn’t mean it disregards community rules. One of its rules is that the account creator — and the account creator alone — can maintain their online profile. If Tinder detects that your profile is shared, it won’t hesitate to ban you for life.
You may come across some singles or swingers who are open to being the third leg of your love triangle, but you’ll likely discover many more that are not. The reality is that the general population of users on Tinder are there to find hookups, flings, or long-term relationships with a party limit of two.
If single Tinder users match with you under the assumption that you’re a single person looking for the same, this can cause unnecessary and unpleasant confusion.
Let’s get down to brass tacks. Is there a chance you’ll find someone willing to participate in a threesome or throuple with you and your partner? Sure. But is it likely? Not really. And with all the other alternatives out there, why would you want to waste your time anyway? Skip the risky Tinder business and go straight to open relationship spaces that welcome married couples.
As a couple looking to turn up their sexual dials with some delectable bedroom fun, it’s reasonable to want to go straight for an app like Tinder. It’s easy to join, simple to use, and is hands down the most popular dating app in the world. We’re talking about 75-million-monthly-users popular.
However, thanks to the resources we now have at our disposal — apps like Ashley Madison, OkCupid, and Coral, to name a few — you’re better off leaving Tinder swiping to the singles.
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