Discreet Hookup Apps

Online Dating

8 Most Discreet Hookup Apps (2024)

Amber Brooks

Written by: Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Reviewed by: Jon McCallister

Jon McCallister

Jon came to DatingAdvice in 2016 with more than 15 years of editorial experience behind him. He has experience editing, writing, and designing at numerous publications, including the Gainesville Sun. Jon enjoys researching emerging trends and seeking out the companies, organizations, and individuals making an impact in the modern world of dating. He excels at working closely with writers and editors to improve the quality of online content.

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Advertiser Disclosure

Whether you’re unhappily married, a closeted member of the LBGTQ+ community, or just want to keep your sex life private, discreet hookup apps and sites can make a big difference when it comes to finding satisfaction. These adult dating sites help connect people who don’t want to make things complicated and would like their escapades to stay on the down low. 

Although there are a lot of options out there, our dating experts recommend these sites and apps as the best choices for privacy, discretion, and sexy adventures.

★★★★
AFF.com 4.2/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

4.2/5.0

Relationships: Hookups Only

Match System: Search by location, interest, more

Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn’t about making friends, it’s about finding hookups and casual encounters. No adult site has a larger or more active user base of those seeking discreet fun…”

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Adult Friend Finder is the longest-running adult site for people seeking casual sex. The adult dating site launched before the 21st century, in the Wild West era of the internet. Although Adult Friend Finder has had scandals in the past, including a notable hacking incident in 2016, the security features on the site now are strong enough to satisfy any discreet pleasure seeker.

All you need to sign up is a valid email address, date of birth, location, gender identity, and the gender you want to date.The AFF community has implemented enhanced firewalls and encryption to keep your details a secret while you look for your next hookup.

You don’t have to be single, either. Adult Friend Finder welcomes singles, couples, and even polyamorous groups to browse for an open-minded potential partner. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to find AFF on Google Play or the App Store, but Adult Friend Finder  does offer an app you can download directly from the site, and the site itself is mobile-friendly.

★★★★
AshleyMadison.com 4/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

4.0/5.0

Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs

Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more

Our Experts Say: “With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships…” Full Review »

Browse Free: View Photos Now

In 2001, the Ashley Madison dating site launched and immediately courted controversy by normalizing extramarital affairs. You don’t have to be married to join Ashley Madison, but you do have to be OK with dating and casual sex with married people.

To help married people successfully have an affair, the site and app both offer a number of features to keep things discreet:

  • Profile pseudonyms
  • Blurring and masking photos
  • Private photo albums
  • Panic button to exit the site

A new user won’t have to provide many details about themselves either. The only required information has to do with age, marital status, and gender identity. Enough to help you find a potential match, but not so much that you can be identified easily.

Ashley Madison also asks every member what they’re looking for. That way you won’t waste time browsing profiles for people who want a long-term relationship or who just want to chat. And if you’re worried someone might walk in on your activity, you can count on the panic button to navigate you to an innocent site and the browser history cleaning feature that removes all traces of where you’ve been online. 

★★★★
BeNaughty 4.2/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

4.2/5.0

Relationships: Hookups, Chats

Match System: Search by encounter, location, and more

Our Experts Say: “Absolutely free to sign up and browse profiles, BeNaughty is the top pick of millions for local “adult dating.” If you are looking for sex only — straight, swinger, gay, lesbian — this is your site…” Full Review »

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If you prefer a hookup site with plenty of spice, BeNaughty is the digital playground for you. BeNaughty is a free hookup site for women on the platform. Men on the site can pay for the features that matter the most to them. Everyone can sign up, browse for matches, and find a chat room to dive into for sexy talk and photos.

If you’re a woman, adding a profile picture grants you access to unlimited private messaging. Men can get the same tools by purchasing one of the premium membership packages. The Chataholic package offers unlimited messages, read receipts, and other messaging perks. Extra Security provides enhanced encryption, browser history clearing, and incognito mode. The Premium Dater package gives you all of the above.

BeNaughty hosts a large and diverse group of like-minded people who are all looking to get sexy with a stranger. BeNaughty doesn’t shy away from sexual activity, putting adult content front and center and encouraging every member to be honest and explicit about what they’re looking for. But even if you’re just on the basic package, BeNaughty uses verification, encryption, and security features to keep your details private and make everyone feel safe and comfortable looking for in a sexy escapade.

★★★★
OneNightFriend 4/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

4.0/5.0

Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dating, Chats

Match System: Search by location, age, and appearance.

Our Experts Say: “OneNightFriend is a dating website that provides a fast track to a one-night stand with a flirty partner. The network has chat rooms, search filters, and safety features to help spark real connections…” Full Review »

Browse Free: View Photos Now

OneNightFriend keeps things simple and offers exactly what the site name says: people looking for a partner for the night. The hookup site is a relative newcomer but already boasts half a million active users because it’s easy to use, secure, and has a simple browsing layout.

Whether it’s the best dating site for finding hookups is for each user to judge, and it’s free to get started. Registering on OneNightFriend is simple, and only requires your date of birth, email address, gender, and sexual preference. OneNightFriend uses a variety of tools to prevent fake profiles and verify accounts before granting full access.

The security features improve even more with the premium membership. Premium members gain access to auto browser history clearing, read receipts, and other features to keep your information secure and your privacy intact. Even with the basic membership, however, you get access to high-quality site encryption, verification systems, and other features meant to keep your sex life as private as you want while you seek out the right person to take home for the night. 

★★★★
Flirt.com 3.5/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

3.5/5.0

Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dating, Chats

Match System: Search by age, location, gender, orientation, and other factors

Our Experts Say: “Flirt.com frees singles to chat with attractive locals and pick up dates on the spot. This hookup site is always open to horny and sexy people seeking one-night stands, casual dating, threesomes, and other sexual encounters…”

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Whether you’re looking for local hookups or you’re open to something more, flirting is where you start on Flirt.com. The platform offers a fun and playful take on online dating, but that doesn’t mean privacy and security aren’t serious business.

Flirt.com makes it easy to set up your profile with as much or as little detail as you want. New users choose which of the 17 drop-down description options they want to include in their profiles. Privacy and security measures continue behind the scenes as well, with verification systems to prevent fake profile scammers from running rampant.

Members who upgrade their membership from basic to premium get access to additional privacy tools, including incognito mode and safe mode, which allow you to control who can your browsing and online activity.

Flirt.com also offers automatic history clearing and high-level site encryption to keep information secure and secret. With all of the features dedicated to security and privacy, users can flirt freely on this adult dating platform

★★★
FriendFinder-X 3.4/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

3.4/5.0

Relationships: Hookups Only

Match System: Search by location, interest, more

Our Experts Say: “A hookup site specializing in casual encounters, secret affairs, live chats, and member videos, FriendFinder-X skips the awkward “dating” stage of a relationship and fast-forwards straight to the sex…”

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Determining what users believe makes the best adult dating site is  complicated, but FriendFinder-X provides a lot of things users like. People seeking hookups clearly want a space where they can be discreet.

A space where their personal information is secure and private, but where they don’t have to beat around the bush. FriendFinder-X strikes the balance between the free-for-all, no-holds-barred sexiness of the site and the necessary privacy features to keep sex lives discreet.

Adult content such as semi-nude photos and videos are prominent on the dating platform. But you don’t have to include a profile photo if you don’t want to, and most of the profile questions FriendFinder-X asks during registration are optional, so you can conceal your identity online.

You can search for your next hookup partner(s) from among a database of sex-minded singles, couples, and groups. Everyone on the site can feel comfortable being open about their desires because of the strong verification systems, site encryption, and privacy protocols. A person can seek out the sexual adventure on the FriendFinder-X forum while remaining totally anonymous

★★★★
4.0 4/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

4.0/5.0

Relationships: Daters & Hookups

Match System: Search by age, zip code, more

Our Experts Say: “MenNation is a well-established gay dating and hookup brand, having been founded in 1996. It’s totally free to join, view profiles, receive matches, and flirt…”

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Gay men have a lot of options when it comes to finding local hookups, but MenNation stands apart from the casual sex app crowd. The casual dating site welcomes any and all men who want to hook up with other men, regardless of sexual orientation or relationship status.

The MenNation platform provides a suite of security and privacy tools. Closeted men don’t have to worry about being outed or harassed on the platform, which makes it easier to get your needs met without worrying every second that prying eyes will discover something you want to keep private.

Of course, the MenNation site is a hookup community at the end of the day, and adult content is readily available in the form of photos, videos, and live stream options. Premium members on the site also get access to Buzzmode, a feature that allows remote control access of another user’s sex toy while they’re on live video. Even free members have access to plenty of spicy content, including access to public forums, chats, photos, and blogs.

★★★★
LesbianPersonals 4/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

4.0/5.0

Relationships: Hookups Only

Match System: Search by location, interest, more

Our Experts Say: “LesbianPersonals provides a fun, quick, and easy experience for gay and bisexual women looking for sex online. Join for free, and you’ll be able to search and communicate immediately…”

Browse Free: View Photos Now

LesbianPersonals provides a safe space for all women to explore their sexuality and find hookups without being harassed or hit on by men. In fact, the only men you might encounter on the hookup site have to be part of a couple with a woman.

The lesbian dating site welcomes couples, swingers, and kinksters, and offers strong content moderation, but doesn’t shy away from sexually explicit content. Safety, security, and privacy are key values at LesbianPersonals, which makes it easy for women on the site to let their hair down and be direct about what they want.

LesbianPersonals isn’t a traditional matchmaking site. Instead, it is an online personals board, forum and chat platform where women-loving women can meet up and get their groove on. You don’t have to provide any details about yourself you’re not comfortable revealing, and the security features, including encryption and verification systems.

FAQs: Is Tinder a Good App for Affairs?

Technically, the Tinder app is for single people only. The team doesn’t approve of a person who’s already in a relationship or marriage using the dating app. If the moderation team finds a dating profile created by someone who’s married or in a relationship, that user gets booted.

In practice, however, the moderation team has a lot of profiles to monitor, which makes it hard to police each individual member. As long as you stay under the radar and don’t call attention to yourself or your relationship status, you can stay on Tinder.

Tinder Protects Online Daters With Innovative Safety Features
Tinder offers safety features to keep fake profiles to a minimum.

On the other hand, it’s worth keeping in mind that Tinder isn’t the most secure hookup app in terms of concealing your identity. Your dating profile will be open to public viewing on Tinder, so it’s easy for your partner or someone you know to stumble upon it, even accidentally.

Tinder has been downloaded by over 530 million people, so it may not be the best hookup app to choose if you’re really trying to avoid being seen on an online dating platform. If you’re looking for a casual hookup in your area, it’s a better option to consider a discreet dating app. At a minimum, make sure your Tinder profile doesn’t make your identity obvious.

Is There a Secret Dating App?

People have a lot of different reasons for wanting to stay anonymous while looking for love and sex online, so several dating sites and apps cater specifically to the secretive crowd. Our dating experts recommend DOWN and Pure as the best options for discreet hookups for a few key reasons.

DOWN is for people who know what they want and aren’t afraid to make it clear. The app requires every member to set their preference: Are you down for dating, or down to hookup?

The casual encounter app makes it easy to be honest by keeping a member’s personal information secure and private. This allows users to reveal or conceal the details they choose, and more than one review cites it as the best app for ethically non-monogamous people.

Screenshot of DOWN
DOWN is a hookup app where people are honest about their intentions.

Pure is also a sex-positive dating app, geared to helping members find the casual hookup they’re looking for. The Pure app lets you remain completely anonymous, functioning like an online personal ad board rather than a traditional dating site.

From the signup process onward, anonymity is Pure’s top priority. The only details you have to provide are your age (over 18 only), gender, the gender (or genders) you’re seeking hookups with, and either an email address or phone number. You’ll also need to turn on location services since you can only see and post ads in your area. 

What is Victoria Milan?

Victoria Milan is an affair dating site, similar to Ashley Madison but with its own set of features and perks. The discreet hookup site primarily focuses on privacy and security. Moderators review each new user signup to ensure there’s no identifying information and use photo-blurring tools to further conceal the true identity of each user. Victoria Milan also encourages users to get explicit about what they’re looking for and allows users to lock up their pictures in a digital vault to protect their identities or show their stuff to a potential match.

While the team behind Ashley Madison seeks to normalize extramarital affairs by encouraging a shameless approach, leaders at Victoria Milan focus on providing context for why people seek affairs in the first place. According to Sigurd Vedal, married people look outside their relationships for a variety of reasons, and people shouldn’t feel guilty or be stigmatized for satisfying their needs. 

What Dating App do Millionaires & Successful Singles Use?

When it comes to dating among the rich, fabulous, and successful, it should come as no surprise that there’s no shortage of options. Singles with high net worth and high-powered careers who seek a luxury dating experience tend to gravitate to a few key platforms where they can expect a user base of educated, talented professionals like themselves to find a potential partner.

Raya has a very competitive application process, with only 8% of applicants approved for the dating platform. Home to the rich, famous, and single, Raya’s selection criteria are a mystery, but knowing someone who’s already on the platform and getting an invitation can boost your chances. 

MillionaireMatch offers exactly what the name says: millionaires seeking love. The dating site boasts serving millionaires who include CEOs, athletes, celebrities, and everyone in between. Although it’s unclear what percentage of users on the site are actually millionaires, MillionaireMatch offers a verification step where you can submit bank statements to the secure section and receive a certified millionaire badge. The site is strictly anti-sugar dating, however, so no casual encounters.

★★★★★
EliteSingles.com 4.7/5.0

Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.

4.7/5.0

Relationships: Serious Relationships

Match System: Search, Receive Partner Suggestions

Our Experts Say: “EliteSingles is a leading dating site just for busy, single professionals. More than 80% of members have earned a college degree, and most are looking for a serious commitment…” Full Review »

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Elite Singles is for the picky singles out there who are looking for the perfect match to form a power couple. The dating site’s user base is highly educated and highly professional, with over 80% of members holding a Bachelor’s or higher degree.

Once you’re registered with a free dating profile, you can stick with the suggestions Elite Singles sends you, or browse for matches through search. Basic membership is free, but you’ll need premium membership to send and receive unlimited messages.

Seeking.com

Seeking.com has been around for a while. It was formerly known as SeekingArrangement. The dating site and the app that goes with it cater to sugar relationships, in which a wealthy sugar daddy or sugar mommy pays a beautiful, younger sugar baby as part of the ongoing relationship. For many established men (and women), sharing the wealth is part of the fun.

With optional verification badges to confirm net worth and other key features, both sugar babies and would-be sugar daddies and mommies can seek a casual encounter or long-term relationship without beating around the bush.

Do I Need to Provide My Full Name & Picture to Online Date?

While most mainstream dating sites and apps require some personal details and a profile picture, there are several platforms that don’t require any information beyond what you’re looking for and where. Online personal ad sites and discreet dating platforms make it easy to stay completely anonymous, letting you choose a username and provide or withhold details as you choose.

As a top name in anonymous online dating, Ashley Madison helps people find a hookup partner while remaining discreet and masking photos. You can also put some photos under a virtual lock and key so you can show off as much as you want to approved potential dates.

Doublelist allows users to remain anonymous and safe while on the board. To sign up, you must provide a location and an email address, and undergo a text-based verification step before you post your first ad. 

Is Online Dating Safe?

Meeting total strangers anywhere comes with inherent risks, and that’s doubly true online. Dating sites and apps may try to institute security measures but catfishers and fake profiles can be hard to root out completely, even on legit dating services.

Online dating is perfectly safe — as long as you’re taking precautions. That means taking new romances slowly and verifying a new person’s information instead of blindly trusting what the profiles and messages say. LinkedIn and Facebook can be useful vetting tools, and sometimes even a background check could be called for. Most important of all, never give money to a person you met online. Some romance scams can be elaborate and take weeks or even months, so be wary and don’t fall prey to a bad person.

All These Apps Can Facilitate Discreet Dating

Whatever your reasons for seeking out a discreet hookup site or hookup app, keeping your privacy while finding a casual encounter is easier than you might think. 

These casual dating platforms incorporate different security and privacy features while encouraging users to be upfront about what they’re looking for, so you’ll never miss out on the opportunity for a sexual adventure with the right person. Get online and find your next hookup!

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