I remember back in my college days, I thought that forcing a label on flirty feelings would ruin the romance of it all. I avoided serious “what are we” talks because unless the answer was “going to get married,” I felt just fine floating in the gray area of situationships and friends with benefits.
If serious commitment is not on the horizon for you, a friendly hookup and sexy companionship may be all you need to get through a lonely night. That’s where online dating comes in. Casual dating apps can help individuals find FWB arrangements where no-strings-attached sex is the name of the game.
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn’t about making friends, it’s about finding hookups and casual encounters. No adult site has a larger or more active user base of those seeking discreet fun.” Our Review »
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Adult Friend Finder has “friend” as its middle name, and it’s definitely referring more to FWBs than platonic attachments. This is a casual sex site with no rules against nudity, stripper videos, or sexting conversations, so it’s a wild time, to say the least.
It’s free to join the AFF community and use kink filters to find partners with similar intentions and interests. The site offers X-rated photo galleries, livestreams, polls, and group chats to get things flowing.
Why It Suits FWB Seekers: No one on AFF is thinking about love or long-term connections. It’s all about flirty banter and sexting. People often state what they want in their profile, so you won’t be stuck playing a big guessing game or dancing around the subject of casual sex.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs
- Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more
- Our Experts Say: “With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships.” Our Review »
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Discretion is the main focus on Ashley Madison. Its dedication to protecting user privacy and allowing sexual exploration on the down low has set this dating app apart for the last two decades.
While Ashley Madison started out as an app for cheaters, it has since expanded to help privacy-conscious daters of all types. Members can use the discreet matching feature to identify how comfortable they are openly dating or if they’d prefer to have a secret tryst.
Why It Suits FWB Seekers: Ashley Madison members are not in a hurry to make any commitments. Most don’t browse under their real names or with photos showing their faces. This site makes it easy to keep things casual and explore romances with little expectations for future involvement.
Fling.com
- Relationships: Casual Dating, Hookups, Friends with Benefits
- Match System: Search filters
- Our Experts Say: “Fling.com keeps things casual and connects horny adults with video and direct messaging. It doesn’t ask for real names, but it will verify photos as genuine to ensure catfish don’t last long here!” Our Review »
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Fling.com offers a low-pressure space to view profiles, send chats, and see where things take you. Exchanging nudes and posting sexy photos are common occurrences here. And you don’t need to make a match to be able to have a chat and tell someone you think they’re hot.
The biggest upside to Fling.com, in my eyes, is all the free features it offers. It has a lot of profiles to browse, a lot of communication features to play with, and a lot of members who aren’t shy about making sexual advances.
Why It Suits FWB Seekers: By its very nature, Fling.com attracts short-term sex seekers. You don’t have to worry about people catching feelings here. From the games to the photo galleries, the interface helps users satisfy their curiosity and keep things light.
NaughtyCharm
- Relationships: Hookups, Chats
- Match System: Search by encounter, location, and more
- Our Experts Say: “NaughtyCharm is a premier hookup app where you can feel comfortable expressing your desires. Plus, it’s free to join, browse, and flirt.”
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The real charm of NaughtyCharm is that the signup process is about three questions long and takes under a minute. You don’t give your name. You don’t fill out an endless questionnaire about your likes and dislikes. You provide your ZIP code, gender, and email address. Once that email is verified, you’re in.
A photo will be required after that first login, and a smart algorithm checks it to ensure it’s genuine and shows what you look like. Bios tend to be pretty short, and I think that would be the perfect place to put something like, “Here for conversation, good vibes, and a FWB if you’re down for it.”
Why It Suits FWB Seekers: NaughtyCharm doesn’t have complicated match suggestions and silly games or profile tags. You’re searching by appearance or swiping on photos to find attractive profiles. It doesn’t get much more straightforward than that!
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “A hookup site specializing in casual encounters, secret affairs, live chats, and member videos, FriendFinder-X skips the awkward “dating” stage of a relationship and fast-forwards straight to the sex.” Our Review »
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This adult dating site is like what Tinder would be if posting nudes was allowed. FriendFinder-X is definitely NSFW, and a quick glance at its dashboard will tell you why.
All members of FriendFinder-X must complete an age verification system before entry. No minors ruining the fun here.
If you’re not looking for a lot of full frontal body images to be in your imagination forever, you can go to your settings to adjust the Nudity Filters to “Some” or “None.” Selecting none turns all inappropriate pics gray, and you’ll need to click on them to see the naughty content.
Why It Suits FWB Seekers: The search filters on FriendFinder-X are perfect for FWB seekers. You can sort profiles based on appearance, kinks, lifestyle, or dating intentions, and you can also specify if you’d like to see new profiles or only profiles with photos.
- Relationships: Affairs, Friends with Benefits, Casual Dates
- Match System: Browse by appearance, location, lifestyle
- Our Experts Say: “Affairs aren’t taboo on Victoria Milan. The married dating site lets individuals be honest about their intentions and flirt anonymously. It’s an exciting place to try new things. Dating profiles might mask their faces in photos, but they’ll bare their fantasies in their bios. It’s free to join and see the date options out there.” Our Review »
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Victoria Milan is an affair dating site, so that makes it a little more privacy-focused than the typical dating service. Members are less likely to give you their real names and more likely to want a no-strings tryst. You can even sort by who has a “love nest” available.
While it’s not the largest dating pool, Victoria Milan sets a sultry tone that makes conversations exciting and just a tad mysterious. Some of the people you encounter might be married, while others are simply looking for low-commitment fun.
Why It Suits FWB Seekers: This is a great dating site for anonymity and casual connections. Victoria Milan offers tools to blur and mask your face in photos, and it has a “quick exit” button on every page to divert you away if needed.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dating, Kinky Chats
- Match System: Search by age, location, gender, kinks, and appearance
- Our Experts Say: “KinkyPeopleMeet is a sex-driven site where kinksters share their fantasies without shame. It’s a dynamic community for hooking up. And the photo and video galleries offer plenty of titillating inspiration as well.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
As a community for kinksters, KinkyPeopleMeet is a fun place to browse and connect with new people. Free members can’t view the video chatrooms, but pretty much everything else is unlocked, including private messages and friend requests in the inbox tab.
KinkyPeopleMeet has a ton of kink search filters to make finding a compatible sex partner more convenient. Free members can search by age, location, interests, ethnicity, religion, hair color, eye color, profession, marital status, and income.
Why It Suits FWB Seekers: KinkyPeopleMeet profiles have a rating on a scale from Vanilla to Naughty, and that can tell you a lot about a person’s intentions and openness to FWB relationships. Plus, you can search profiles by keyword and type in “friends with benefits” to see who pops up.
How to Bring Up an FWB Arrangement
Of course, just because you’re on a hookup site, you can’t assume the person is open to being friends with benefits with you. It’s got to be a conversation and a mutual agreement. Here are my tips for bringing this up and getting on the same page with a new friend.
In Your Dating Profile
This is my favorite way to state dating intentions, whether you’re hoping for a FWB or a future spouse. Say so in your profile! Be clear upfront and let the people swiping on you determine if they’re a fit for what you want.
You might worry that fewer people will swipe right on you if you’re so blunt, and that very well may be true. But the people saying “no” don’t want what you want, so they’re going to be a no eventually anyway. Why not save yourself the time finding that out?
You don’t have to be crass about it. Don’t go into details about your fantasies. Just say it with your chest, “I’m looking for something casual, a FWB would be ideal. I’m open to flirting and see where it takes us.”
In Your Messages
Ask questions. Don’t make assumptions. You can bring this up in a flirty and casual way, such as:
- I’m here hoping to find a sexy friend, what about you?
- So, am I your type? You’re definitely mine, btw.
- Are you open to FWB? They can be so fun when done right.
You can also bring up the subject of FWB by talking about your previous experiences or what excites you most about these types of connections. Talk about your turn-ons, and see if your flirty energy is reciprocated.
Your approach should also change based on where you meet. People on a casual dating site can be more straightforward about their sexual interests, while those on a mainstream dating app like Tinder or Hinge will want to start off with more get-to-know-you talk before getting intimate with it.
What Not to Do: Common Mistakes I See
The biggest thing that’ll trip you up in the FWB search is impatience. So many online daters are too forward and move too quickly into explicit talk. They turn off 90% of matches that way.
I’m a straight woman, so I see this a lot in my messages. Guys just want to skip right to the “let’s sext” part. Even if you’re on an adult dating site, talking about girth or going downtown in a first message is a bit much. Don’t treat a dating profile like a sexbot.
Another common blunder is talking more about what you want and forgetting to ask what they want. You should be asking questions in pretty much every message. That keeps the conversation going and shows you care about the other person providing input and consent. It takes two to tango, as the saying goes.
Setting Expectations With Your FWB Partner
When you’re talking to someone about getting involved romantically, it’s important to have clear communication about your availability and expectations. Letting things go unsaid will just lead to mixed signals and heartbreak down the road.
Here are some good questions to ask before arranging a meetup and taking your online relationship into the real world:
- What would be your ideal scenario for a FWB arrangement?
- What’s your schedule like and how often are you free to meet up to blow off steam?
- Would you want to go out to dinner or hang out in public at all? Or only meet at each other’s places?
- Are you open to feelings developing down the line? Or would you rather keep emotions out of it?
Now, as much as you both might like to think you can keep emotional attachment out of it, if you’ve seen any rom-com ever, you should know that people can catch feelings unexpectedly. It’s good to have a ground rule about that and keep the door open for honest disclosure.
Say something like, “If this is ever not working for you anymore, or if your feelings are changing, I want you to know you can talk to me about it. I’m here for you as a friend for real.”
Staying Safe When You Meet an FWB Partner From an App
First of all, you’ll need to be on the lookout for red flags in dating profiles and conversations. Repetitive and generic phrasing, awkward or broken sentences, and one-word answers can indicate that the connection isn’t genuine. Maybe it’s a catfish, maybe it’s a bot, maybe it’s just a dude who couldn’t care less. Block and move on either way.
One online dating move I grew to like is the “call first” approach. You can do this over video chat or a regular phone call, but the idea is to have a real, live chat one-on-one before going through the trouble of an actual first date. You prove that person is legit, and you avoid wasting your time on catfish.
If you’re meeting someone new for a hookup, choose a public location like a coffee shop or a bar where you can talk and get each other’s measures. You can assess chemistry over a casual chat and determine if you feel comfortable taking the date to a more intimate and private space.
And now, I’m not trying to be a drag, but you should be aware of your alcohol intake during that first meeting. Don’t leave your drink unattended. Refrain from drinking so much that it impairs your judgment or makes you vulnerable to sexual assault.
I always told a friend where I was going and who I was with, and they’d know to check in with me by texting or calling to ensure things were going well, and I didn’t need backup.
Finally, you’ll need to make time in the conversation to talk about safe sex practices. Talk about protection methods you prefer. Perhaps come up with a safe word. If you’re sexually active and your date is sexually active, you also should discuss when you were last tested for STIs and what the results were.
I know it’s not super sexy to talk about sexual health, but it is very important to get that peace of mind and ensure that you’re being responsible with your adult playtime.
What Is a Friends With Benefits App?
A FWB app is a dating or social networking space where adults openly look for casual, no-strings partners. Such apps differ from mainstream dating apps like Tinder because they provide more sex-driven tools and sexy content.
Can I Use Mainstream Apps Like Tinder for Casual Dating?
Of course! Tinder is well-known as a hookup app. But we didn’t include it on this list because that’s not all it is. Not all Tinder users are hoping for sex with no strings. Some want to get in real relationships or even find the person they’re going to marry.
Mainstream dating apps like Bumble and Hinge are great if you want to see a lot of profiles at once. But the sorting is largely up to you. These profiles are going to range widely in terms of what they want. Not all of them will be down for sexy chats and no-strings dates.
To help users in the big jumbled dating pool find their match, dating apps have started requiring folks to state what type of connection(s) they’re seeking. That’s a feature on Hinge, OkCupid, and Tinder, as well as many other mainstream apps, and I hope it becomes the norm for all online dating.
Can I Stay Anonymous While Online Dating?
Yes, you absolutely can. Many of the casual dating sites on this list don’t require a photo upload to browse profiles or even send messages, and sometimes you can get away with hiding, blurring, or masking your face in photos.
Ashley Madison offers easy-to-use photo editing tools that include adding a mask to your face or blurring details you’d prefer to stay hidden.
Be mindful of the details you share about your daily schedule, work life, and family in your profile. Bios are almost always optional, so if you’d rather be anonymous, don’t feel pressured to write a ton or fill in every optional prompt and profile field.
The mainstream apps will want you to submit your first name, but the seven best FWB apps we’ve selected here have a username on profiles instead of full names. This is an added layer of privacy that helps people stay low-key and keep their real life separate from their dating life.
Are Friends With Benefits Apps Safe and Private?
Generally, as long as you’re not divulging private details or giving away money to strangers, it’s safe to use most dating apps to meet people.
Casual sex sites like AFF often implement age verification systems and photo checks to build trust in matches, but it still falls to you to verify the specifics on a profile and make sure someone is being real with you.
My favorite way to catch people in shenanigans is to do a reverse image search on their photos and look through their social media profiles, if any exist. This method has helped me figure out when guys were lying about not having kids or exaggerating about their careers. It can also help identify if a profile is outright fake.
Can I Find a FWB Partner on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge or Feeld?
You can, but it’s not incredibly likely. Singles have all sorts of intentions on these swiping apps, and a lot of the time the high competition and overwhelm lead to very few real dating opportunities, let alone FWB arrangements.
If you have specific goals or a type in mind, I’d suggest taking our quiz to get a recommendation specific to your needs:
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Find the FWB App That Excites You
There’s no harm in having some fun and keeping things casual with the right flirty partner. You just have to make sure you stay on the same page about what you want. When you join a sex app known for introducing friends with benefits and hookup partners, the expectations are clear from the outset. And that’s liberating!
Any of the apps on this list can suit your dating needs if you want to keep things casual and see what’s out there. No big commitment. No hard questions about where your life is going. Just sexy adults enjoying the moment and making the most of a private chat. Enjoy!
