People may try to argue the contrary, but the truth is this: All is NOT fair in love and war when you’re a queer person. Your dating pool is limited, you have to worry about hate crimes and discrimination, and your dating style/preferences are at risk of being diluted by heteronormative dating rules. So, when it comes to the search for some flirty fun, you may be left confused and uncertain of where to take those first few steps.
But I’m here to tell you this: There are safe spaces for you to find what you’re looking for. It’s just a matter of exploring your options until you find what best aligns with your needs! To start, let’s talk about DatingAdvice.com’s top recommendations for dating platforms.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs
- Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more
- Our Experts Say: With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
We know exactly what you’re thinking, so allow us to clear things up: Yes, this dating platform was designed to help facilitate extramarital affairs. And yes, there could be some less-than-ethical behaviors involved (which we do not condone, of course). But here’s the thing about digital spaces like these: They know a thing or two about discretion.
That said, if you’re a freshly-out, non-monogamous, or very private lesbian single looking to explore your sexuality on the down low, Ashley Madison is a must-try choice. Using the app’s intentionally designed privacy and safety features, account holders can create anonymous profiles (or profiles with pseudonyms), blur and reveal photos for select users, limit visibility of your profile to specific geographic regions, and block unwanted contacts. Ashley Madison even offers users discreet billing to ensure that only generic, unsuspecting information appears on credit card statements. So, if you’re in the mood to feel a little sleuthy, this app might just be the choice for you.
Match
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: More than a million lesbian women in the U.S. are looking for dates and relationships on Match, making it the best site for this audience. Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
This wouldn’t be an article about dating apps without mentioning this online dating pioneer. Having been around since 1995, Match (formerly known as Match.com) is one of the most experienced dating platforms in the biz — and it has a massive customer base to show for it. Touting a user count of over 39 million people, this digital space compensates for its lack of lesbian-only exclusivity with a larger dating pool of potential suitors to choose from. And you know what that means: More options, more chances to find your partner or FWB.
Match is commonly known as an app for “serious” daters, but that doesn’t mean you should count yourself out if a little wintertime warmth is all you’re after. Either way, the platform’s intelligent matchmaking algorithm will use information you provide regarding dating goals and preferences to present you with singles with a similar dating vision.
3. HER
Last on this list is another dating platform with a name that leaves little to the imagination. Launched in 2013, HER was created by queer women for queer women, and the app has evolved into a massive community. Lesbian, gender-diverse, and trans folks can explore their identity on HER and communicate with fellow sapphics without the limitations of hetero-centric dating values.
Singles on HER can connect with matches using the standard swiping method of dating apps like Tinder, but HER offers something that mainstream platforms don’t: community. Through engagement-focused features like chat rooms, educational articles, and local events, HER nurtures a sense of belonging and connection among its users.
More Apps Worth Considering
Whether you’re looking for a wifey, a hookup buddy, or a safe space where you can be your authentic, woman-loving self, any of the following sites could be the ideal choice for you.
NaughtyCharm
- Relationships: Hookups, Chats
- Match System: Search by encounter, location, and more
- Our Experts Say: Lesbian women love NaughtyCharm for many reasons, including it’s large user base, free membership, and extensive search filters.
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
If you’re a lesbian looking to skip the small talk and get straight down to business, NaughtyCharm should be on your radar. With over 40,000 new members joining every week, local singles craving some no-strings-attached late night fun get connected with potential matches on the lookout for the very same.
NaughtyCharm stands out among other hookup apps like Tinder thanks to its advanced search filters. By specifying age, location, interests, relationship goals, and more, women-seeking-women can filter out the “definitely not’s” and make room for more “hell yes’s.” You can read our full expert review of NaughtyCharm here.
5. Lex
Not only is Lex a cute and subtle name for a queer dating app, but it’s also clever in its origin. “Lex” comes from the word “lexicon,” which is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as “a list of all the words used in a particular language or subject.” The name is meant to reveal to its users one of the app’s standout features: It is highly text-focused. In other words (pun intended), rather than relying heavily on images in the search of connection, Lex encourages its users to foster more authentic relationships based on common likes and interests.
Account holders can upload one profile picture, but other than that, users must rely on text-based posts, group forums, and direct message threads to connect with like-minded singles — or even friends, if that’s what they’re looking for! All in all, Lex is a must-try option for lesbian singles hoping for a love-seeking journey that’s a bit off the beaten path.
6. Taimi
Immediately upon visiting their website, Taimi wastes no time in telling you exactly who they are: “An LGBTQ+ Dating App Free From Hetero Limits.” As with the creators of queer-only platforms like HER, LesbianPersonals, and Lex, Taimi founder Alex Pasykov felt that the household names in the dating app space just weren’t cutting it when it came to meeting the needs of LGBTQ+ singles.
Touted as an app that “transcends all boundaries”, Taimi provides lesbian singles the opportunity to build relationships and feel connected within the queer community via blogs, community groups, local events, and even a social media interface that allows you to upload personal posts to a public feed.
7. PinkCupid
Another dating app created by women for women, PinkCupid serves as an empowering space for lesbian and bisexual singles to feel seen, heard, and comfortable exploring their dating options. The app builds the foundation for this safe space by using features such as discussion forums, interest groups, and local events — all of which prioritize real and raw connection among women-seeking singles.
PinkCupid provides users the opportunity to explore relationships with matches before taking the next step toward the in-person date. Singles can engage in conversation via public and private messaging chat rooms, photo sharing, and virtual gift exchanges. The platform’s focus on inclusivity, safety, and meaningful connections makes it a notable contender for any lesbian single, regardless of the kind of relationship you desire.
8. Zoe
Zoe is the last dating app on our list that caters specifically to “lesbian, bisexual, and queer womxn worldwide.” Although relatively new in the digital dating space, the app has managed to attract over 7 million users and has earned impressive customer reviews by smartphone users (4.5 on Apple and 4.3 on Google Play).
Besides being a heteronormative-free space for women-seeking-women to search for love, this queer-facing platform is known for its focus on personality over looks. Users can still partake in some vanity swiping (c’mon, we all do it), but Zoe also provides singles with a compatibility percentage based on answers to an onboarding questionnaire. These answers provide Zoe’s algorithm with insights on a user’s habits, dating preferences, and hobbies and interests to best connect them with matches that align with their lifestyle.
9. Hinge
If you’re a single college student, I can almost guarantee you that Hinge is currently downloaded on your phone. This app skyrocketed in popularity during Covid-19 and continues to hold a top spot among the dating app greats with a total of 23 million active users.
Although not tailored specifically for queer singles, the app may be a smart choice for you if you’re looking to connect with singles over shared interests and other qualities that have less to do with looks. For example, account holders are encouraged to fill out text prompts when creating their profile to give potential matches a glimpse into your personality. “My biggest date fail…”, “When I need advice, I go to…”, and “A random fact that I love…” are just a few prompts available.
Additionally, Hinge is one of the few apps that allows you to interact with profiles before matching with them, which may be an appealing feature for women-seeking-women with a more cautious approach to dating.
10. Bumble
Bumble — the app where women message first. I know what you’re thinking: “If I’m a lesbian swiping for other lesbians, wouldn’t that mean we would both be able to message first anyways?” The answer is yes, you would.
But as an app that was made by women for the purpose of empowering women, you can swipe assured that you’re in a safe space that fosters mutual respect and consent.
Bumble is known for being a digital space for singles to build meaningful connections, while also leaving plenty of room for casual-sex-seekers to find their next Netflix-and-chill buddy or wedding plus one. With a user base of over 42 million monthly active users, lesbian singles are bound to find some compatible matches with a little bit of time and effort. Remember: Dedication is key!
FAQs: Are Lesbian Dating Apps Safe for Queer Women?
The short answer is: Yes, mostly.
The long answer is: Meeting a stranger in any space — digital or not — comes with risks. There are some sneaky, creepy characters out there trying to do harm, which could be especially the case for queer singles who still face discrimination in every corner of the world. However, with the right information and some healthy self-awareness, you can avoid scammers and harassers and enjoy a very fruitful online dating experience.
How Do I Start a Conversation With a Lesbian on Tinder?
We could go on and on with tips on how to start conversations on dating apps (and, in fact, we do so here), but the simplest answer to this question is this: Be yourself, be interesting, and be clear about your intentions. Talk to your match like you would anyone else, and go from there. As a woman speaking with a woman, you may even find that your words flow a lot more easily than you’d think they might.
Is There a Free Lesbian Hookup App?
Yes, and several of them are mentioned in this article! HER, Lex, Zoe, and LesbianPersonals are a great place to start.
All of these apps can be downloaded for free with basic features and offer premium subscriptions for additional perks.
Dating Apps Help Lesbians Find Connection and Spicy Fun
Whether the kind of fun you’re looking for is of the long-term or short-term variety, each of these 13 apps offers unique features to help you find it. Some of them are tailored specifically for queer love-seekers, while others aren’t — but, either way, you can go about your swiping knowing that you’re in good hands.
And if you aren’t having any luck with one of the apps, there are 12 more you can try (and even more that aren’t mentioned in this article). The key is to stay hopeful, stay open-minded, and keep honing your craft. (As with any other skill in life, practice makes perfect!). Happy swiping!
