Let's Talk Communication (Page 7)

The word fetish conjures up images of Christian Grey, ball gags, stilettos, spankings and more. But what exactly is a fetish, and how did it come to be tied up (pun intended) with all of the psycho-sexual hullabaloo? What a fetish used to be: A fetish was a talisman or charm that held religious meaning. From this, we got the expression that it was “something irrationally revered” in the mid-19th century. Around the...

One of the big “question mark” situations that is quite common among singles is when their ex-boyfriend comes back into the picture. Sparks start flying again and you both begin to ponder the possibility of reconciling and starting a new relationship with each other. You feel torn because you’re feeling a renewed attraction with someone familiar and have a resurgence of fantasies of what could be, while at the same...

Could watching “Gone with the Wind” somehow save your marriage? It may not be as crazy as it sounds. New research is examining whether films and discussions about the topics they evoke might help couples get past that famous three-year itch. A study from the University of Rochester found couples who have regular conversations about the issues faced in certain films and then relate those feelings to their own...

As an expert matchmaker, I really had to think long and hard about this question. Are women all really looking for the perfect man? After all, we are ransacked daily with the likes of Hollyhunks like George Clooney, Brad Pitt and David Beckman. Most men feel like they don't have a chance. Women are taught to look for a man with good character and determined work ethics. It's not so much about changing your...

Honesty is an interesting topic in dating. We all have different layers to ourselves and different comfort levels when it comes to revealing our truest selves to a person we are trying to get to know. Many factors come into play, such as good or bad past experiences, your previous partners and where you are at in your life. Being honest is your best option for many reasons. The major point that illustrates why...

I often get letters from guys who are in the throes of dating relationships with men of the same sexual role preference (two tops, the ones doing the penetrating during sex, and two bottoms, the ones being penetrated) and find themselves experiencing frustration and conflict when their sexual fulfillment takes a hit and their needs are unmet. This is a common scenario and can create strain in an otherwise perfectly...

I have had men ask me before about getting into “the lifestyle,” which to me denotes ethical non-monogamy. The lifestyle is often the phrase used by swingers to talk about the swinging lifestyle, but I’ll expand the use of it here. How can they get into it without seeming like an uncaring dude? How do they broach the subject with a current partner? How do they find like-minded people? 1. Know yourself. Get to know...

There's an old saying people often say when they're torn between telling little white lies that lead up to heaping piles of bullshit. It's a phrase used all of the time in movies, TV shows and other forms of media that I find very educational because they make me want to read books. It's the phrase: “Honesty is the best policy.” People are afraid of online dating because they are afraid they won’t get an honest...

Gentleman, have you ever wondered how to show her you care or how to let her know you are thinking of her? Showing you care for a woman involves more than just your actions or just your words. It is a balance of consistently acting in ways that promote closeness and communicating verbally and nonverbally that you like her. Although grand gestures, such as flowers and extravagant dates go along way, showing her you...

In a disagreement, would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy? That answer might just depend on your gender, according to a new study. The research, which was published in the medical journal the BMJ, was intended to look at how men and women handle arguments differently and how those variations can put strain on their relationship. Ultimately, however, the full research was not able to be completed...

Reader Question: I met a man last year on Match.com. We have been on and off since April mainly because he runs hot and cold. He acts like he is a boyfriend 60 percent of the time, but we have had no label. We talk about everything but his feelings. I even feel like he may love me at times, but I also feel I can't get to know him. Every time I break it off with him, because he starts acting distant after spending...

When we partner up, we bring our unique personalities, qualities and preferences to the relationship. This includes everything from our food choices, hobbies, interests, movie selections and bedtime routines. With every new relationship, there are issues to navigate. A common one women mention is their partner is not as affectionate as they would like. Operating under the idea that men are not mind readers is...

Reader Question: I'm 30 and have had my first experience with another guy. We had a great first date, if you can call it that, but neither of us is looking to date - more of a FWB situation for the time being. We got together a second time for dinner at my place. I didn't think it was quite as exciting as the first time, but it was still good. We've been texting - usually initiated by me - and have been...

You may have noticed in your daily life that miscommunications abound. You misinterpret a look, someone’s sense of humor or a turn of phrase. Unfortunately, everyone operates with an invisible road map in their heads of how they think other people should act, speak and communicate. Needless to say, these road maps often point to our failed relationships because two people’s road maps just don’t match up and there’s...

If women ruled the world, some say there would be no more wars. Women are better equipped for compromise and more open to discussion, the theory goes. However, is there a scientific basis for the different ways in which women and men argue and then make up? And does this impact how married couples get along after they’re done fighting? New research published in the journal Emotion suggests there are some clear...

Long-distance relationships can be difficult, what with the time apart, the missed phone calls and the lonely nights. Don't let these things get you down. Follow the advice of our 10 Best Long-Distance Relationship Blogs and your relationship is sure to go the distance. Loving from a...

Texting has become the preferred means of communicating for a lot of people, including many couples, but can the convenience of talking without talking lead to trouble down the line? A new study involving 276 young adults was conducted by researchers from Brigham Young University. They wanted to understand how texting might lead to serious miscommunications in a relationship. In texts, often a person’s context and...

Got a silent or emotionally avoidant partner? Perhaps one of the most frustrating relationship challenges for women is the dilemma over how they can’t get a guy to open up. Verbal women don't take silent men well and sometimes it's hard to get your head around the idea that men connect to others much differently than women do. They may choose to use humor to communicate their feelings instead of mushy, emotional...

Reader Question: My parents do not like my girlfriend. In fact, they want me to break all ties with her after we got into a big argument. My girlfriend and I want to try to work it out, but I'm afraid to disappoint my parents, whom already think I'm doing the exact opposite of what they say when it comes to my relationship (mind you, I'm still in high school). What do I aim to fix? My fractured relationship or...

Reader Question: I am a 34-year-old woman who has a serious crush on a male friend of mine. About two years ago we tried to date, but I wasn't ready. I do know he is dating someone right now, but it's not working out. He has been calling me asking for advice on how to get out of this relationship without hurting her. Prior to him reaching out for advice, he has been on my mind. What should I do? -Kady...

One of the perks of being a single hetero woman writing about dating and sex is you get into the minds of men for, er, research to edify readers. Here's an earnest question from one of my male friends that I found interesting, and hopefully you will, too. What follows in the Q-and-A form is a dating dilemma from a "man about town" and my earnest answer. Question: Let's say you like someone, but there's a certain...

Reader Question: I have been dating this man for about a month and a half. We both have children and schedules that can be challenging. I had a free weekend, so we had an opportunity to spend time together. He had a prior obligation to house-sit for a friend. He never mentioned he was house-sitting until he was on his way there, and he didn't even ask if I wanted to go! This hurt my feelings. To me, it seemed...

I think the number one cause of heartache and disappointment in relationships is failed expectations. Expectations are built in several ways: by reading into your man’s behavior, by romanticizing a relationship to be more than it truly is, by wanting something without expressing your needs or by simply ignoring things you are shown or told. As a relationship coach, a large part of what I do is manage my clients'...

So your girlfriend wants an open relationship and you're not sure if you can do it. Do you want help with this situation? This kind of question shows up more and more often, as the Internet has opened us up to additional perspectives on relationships and sex. An open relationship is most often defined as a relationship where both partners are committed but not monogamous. That is different from a polyamorous...

Lesbian sexual preferences can be a difficult conversation to have. Women often wonder how to share this preference and what to share. When should you share? It really depends. When do you usually jump into bed with a lesbian date? Should you wait until the first or second date, or do you wait longer? If you rush into sex, then make sure to share right away. If sex is something you prefer to wait on, you may be...

The illustrious first date can be wrought with a combination of excitement and nervousness, causing you to potentially become tongue-tied and paralyzed when you are sitting across from that hottie not knowing what to say next. Never fear! Below is a list of potential topics you can have at your disposal should your mind go blank or if one of those horrifying moments of silence occurs. Beware, there are also certain...

Probably the most sensitive conversation one can have with a new romantic partner is the one that shares information about a sexually transmitted disease. It is a brave and responsible person who cares enough about the health of his or her lover to have this important conversation. To help you out, here are a few do’s and don’ts so this tender talk is accepted with compassion: 1. Give as much information about the...

What would you think if I were to tell you I've only slept with one person? How about 100? In reality, I'm somewhere between those two, but apparently the actual figure is incredibly significant. When guys ask what my number is, I answer honestly because the reaction I get tells me a lot about the person I'm with. Explaining your sexual history can often be like navigating a minefield of other people's...

I’ve been getting a lot of letters lately from gay men interested in dating guys either much older or much younger than themselves and questioning whether these “May to December” relationships really work out in the long run. I personally don’t believe age gaps in relationships are as stigmatizing or concerning in the gay community. Perhaps this has to do with the smaller pool of dating prospects available,...

Every relationship hits bumpy patches. In fact, sometimes it seems like hills and valleys are the primary topography of some long-term lovers. But there is one trick healthy couples use to sustain love when conflicts, boredom or neglect threaten to extinguish their flame. That trick is gratitude. Counting your blessings and experiencing deep feelings of thanks are the true backbone to personal happiness. Studies...