Let's Talk Dating Anxiety (Page 3)

Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor: Lillian Castro

Updated:

The articles below focus on overcoming the stress and anxiety surrounding online dating and seeking romantic connections.

Smooth sailing isn’t exactly how anyone would describe dating nowadays, or ever. If you’ve ever watched Hitch or any other kind of rom-com, you’ll know people have struggled with dating long before iPhones were born. But dating doesn’t have to be a constant challenge either.

Our expert-backed content addresses dating anxiety to help daters not only find success in the dating world but also enjoy the journey. Say goodbye to fear of rejection, performance pressure, and avoidance behaviors with our help.

Whether you’re new to the dating scene or returning after an extended break, our articles can help you face the unknowns of connecting with someone new and beat the pressure of first impressions. Learn strategies for building confidence and practicing mindful dating habits.

We also cover anxiety during the relationship stage. Our experts can explain how anxious attachment styles can show up in relationships and how to address them. With our guides, you’ll learn practical tips for overcoming social anxiety and self-sabotaging behaviors while dating and in a relationship.

118 Results

What Our Experts Say:

61.
Why Men Fear Your Rejection
Leon Scott Baxter

Leon Scott Baxter

No one likes rejection, but men really don’t like it. Maybe that’s true for women, too, but seeing that I am a man, I can speak from experience. I, for one, feared rejection so badly that it kept me from dating more often. I recall in sixth grade having a crush on Charmaine Hutchins during science camp. I told my friend George to tell Charmaine I liked her, but I gave him explicit instructions that if she guffawed...

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62.
I Have Had Failed Relationships. Will I Ever Find My Soul Mate?
Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

Reader Question: I'm a 23-year-old woman. I have had failed relationships in the past and am currently single. I want to find true love but am wary of trusting people because I tend to get hurt very easily. I work from home, reducing my chances of meeting new people. Of late, I'm beginning to get a little paranoid that I may never find my soul mate. What should I do? -Cynthia Rachel Dack's Answer: Hey...

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63.
I’m a Hopeless Romantic with Baggage. Is There Any Hope for Me?
Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Reader Question: I have borderline Asperger syndrome, anxiety/panic/depression that is controlled by meds and PTSD. The Asperger's forces me to disclose everything whether its appropriate or not. I'm a hopeless romantic with all of this baggage. I usually torpedo things by the third date. Is there any hope for me? -Frank (Rhode Island) Brian Rzepczynski's Answer: Hi Frank! We all bring "baggage" to the...

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64.
The Raj Koothrappali Effect
Randy Mitchell

Randy Mitchell

Guys are only human. At times, we get nervous around the opposite sex. Despite our age and no matter if you’re a Navy Seal slogging through snake-infested jungles or an accountant working on a tax return, we’ve all experienced nerves crawling along our legs when attractive women cross our paths. How do you deal with it? A psychiatrist’s couch, an article in Glamour, alcohol, a dose of Viagra? As I write this, I’m...

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65.
When Being Single Really Sucks
Cassia Jones

Cassia Jones

Sometimes being single friggin' sucks. Before you roll your eyes at me, let me also state that if you are a regular reader of my blog, you know I in no way feel you need a man to complete you, be happy or live a fulfilled life. I have been happily single for more than four years now and have written more than 50 blog posts demonstrating that. Now with that disclaimer being said (well, typed), let me also...

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66.
It’s Time to Stop Worrying About Your Man
Elizabeth Cole

Elizabeth Cole

One day at work I met a man who looked to be about 60. When I entered his name into the computer, I sat down beside him to ask him his birthday because I thought the year was a typo. “No, that’s right," he said. "I turned 98 this year!” “Wow! You look decades younger. What kind of anti-aging beauty cream do you use?” He laughed. “I still drive. I still play bochi ball. I’m still very active.” “So at 98 years of...

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67.
Never Be Shy Again
Rachel Dack

Rachel Dack

If you consider yourself a shy guy, you know how difficult it can be to navigate the dating world. You may be committed to finding love but struggle to make a move, approach an attractive woman or keep a conversation flowing naturally. You may want to say hello, ask for her phone number or show her you are interested, but you hold yourself back due to your shy tendencies or insecurities. You may feel awkward in...

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68.
Does Sexually Experimenting with Both Sexes Make Me Bi?
Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

There’s a lot of advice out there for hetero dating and much more now on gay dating, but the bisexual world doesn’t get enough ink. This is unfortunate because it can be one of the most confusing areas to be in. Not only that, but many times instead of being accepted by both groups, they are shunned. To try and remedy that, myself and DatingAdvice.com's lesbian dating expert, Mary Gorham Malia, are going to be...

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69.
10 Best Blogs for Dating Courage
C. Price

C. Price

Finding the confidence to follow your heart can be an uphill battle for many people. Our 10 Best Blogs for Dating Courage were selected for how well they explore issues from awkwardness and being shy, to helping people find their best dating identity. Just Call Her BEST OF Bragging Rights: dating...

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70.
I’m Attracted to My Co-Worker. Do You Have Any Advice for Me?
Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Reader Question: I am 31, single, gay and extremely attracted to a co-worker. The problem is he is 64, married, straight and anti-gay. His own son is gay and they have a bad relationship. When I first started working with him, he took me under his wing and was so nice. Now he is aloof and avoids me. I know I will never have him, but this attraction is killing me. Any advice? -Mike (Maryland) Brian...

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71.
3 Mindsets to Get You Through New Year’s Eve
David Wygant

David Wygant

We’re heading into the silly season. New Year’s Eve is right around the corner. How do you cope with New Year’s Eve? If you struggle to cope with the craziest night of the year, here are three great mindset tips to help you through the 31st of December 2013. 1. It’s only a Tuesday. It’s a date on the calendar. Normally on a Tuesday you’re doing absolutely nothing except going to work, coming home and maybe watching...

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72.
Post-Divorce Dilemma: How Many Dates Until the First Kiss?
Judith Tutin

Judith Tutin

How many dates does one wait until the first kiss? It's an agonizing question that often comes up in coaching or therapy with the post-divorce set. It's usually prefaced by some nail biting, along with, "I've been out of the whole dating scene for so long," or "I have no idea of how dating works anymore." A new study conducted by DatingAdvice.com found 25 percent of Americans would wait until the third date or...

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73.
We’re Meeting for the First Time. Will It Be Awkward?
Gina Stewart

Gina Stewart

Reader Question: I am a soldier deployed in Afghanistan. I created a profile on Match.com strictly out of boredom. I did have the privilege of talking to this girl. It started off with emails, and then we upgraded to Facebook. She gave me her number and we started to text and eventually FaceTime. We FaceTime every day unless I am on a mission or certain circumstances don't allow me. We have made it clear to...

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74.
How to Kick Shyness’ Ass
Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Being shy is painful. It keeps you trapped and unable to live life and enjoy the endless possibilities that come from meeting new people. It can be the kiss of death if your shyness keeps you from being able to meet someone and develop a relationship. Being shy is not the same as being introverted. Introverts are people who have only one or two close friends. They share their inner thoughts and feelings with these...

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75.
I Have Fantasies About Being With a Man. Should I Go For It?
Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Reader Question: I'm 41 and single. I occasionally have thoughts and fantasies about being with another man. I've actually fantasized about it since I was a teenager, but I've never had the guts to go through with it. I've never been successful in my relationships with women, so I wonder if I try being with a man, I might find that's where I should've been all along. Should I just do it and see if I like...

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76.
Does Dating Make You Anxious?
Robert Rodriguez

Robert Rodriguez

Dating is not easy. Sometimes it's not even fun. And that's normal. The search for a romantic partner can take a significant amount of persistence, bravery, and, yes, luck. So, of course, there may be times where the prospect of dating can be downright daunting! If you're feeling anxiety about dating for the first time or dating again, you are certainly not alone, and we're here to help with the knowledge and...

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77.
Does Online Dating Make You Anxious?
Julie Spira

Julie Spira

With the change of seasons, there’s been an increase of singles reactivating their online dating profiles. Even new people (including celebrities) are jumping on the online dating bandwagon. At this time of year, singles feel anxious. Perhaps their summer romance fizzled out, or they just can’t imagine going home for the holidays without having a steady boyfriend of girlfriend in tow. Thoughts of finding someone to...

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78.
How to Stop Obsessing About Your Online Date
Julie Spira

Julie Spira

I’m working with a woman who’s so anxious about her online dating experience that she logs on to dating sites three times a day, not to look for someone new or to answer an email, but to check the status of a person she used to date. She constantly wonders and worries if he’s replaced her and counts the amount of times she sees his profile with the banner of “Online Now.” She’s so obsessed about him and the ease of...

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79.
How to Avoid Awkward Silences on Your First After-Divorce Date
Chris McIntosh

Chris McIntosh

Entering the dating game, particularly if it’s after a divorce or the breakdown of a long relationship, is more than a little daunting. There seems to be so many things that can potentially go wrong. What if she doesn’t like you? What if you run out of conversation, or worse, what if you can’t think of anything to say in the first place? You’re not alone in these concerns. Many people (both men and women) put off...

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80.
How to Avoid Lesbian Mind Games
Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

We all play head games. Some of us just play head games with women we date, but all of us play head games with ourselves. Here are a few of the dating games that lesbians can play: 1. "There are no lesbians to date!" This is normally said emphatically and with emphasis. You’re convinced there are no potential matches around you. That’s a head game, gay girls! 2. "I will never get over her!" Said with a definite...

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81.
What the Supreme Court’s Ruling on Gay Marriage Means for Your Dating Life
Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

With all of the gay pride celebrations going on in June, the LGBTQ+ community pays homage to being true to ourselves and loving who we are. And this message also holds an important lesson when it comes to being single and dating. Our self-esteem refers to how we feel about ourselves. Your view of yourself has a direct impact on how you show up for your life, including how you approach dating and relate to...

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82.
Things Feel Different After Not Talking for a Week. Should I End It?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I’m a 17-year-old on summer break. My mother turned off my cellphone, so I wasn't able to contact my girlfriend. We have been dating for two months. Things just feel different after not talking to her for a week on a regular basis. I worry I may be exhibiting some paranoid or jealous traits. I started the summer with a lot of plans, but I receded back into my depressive, anxiety head. She is...

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83.
I Can’t Perform in the Bedroom. Do You Have Any Suggestions?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I've been divorced a little over a year. During that time, I have become a full diabetic and can't perform like I should in the bedroom. It's really depressing and it has stopped me from dating at all. Do you have any suggestions? -George (Virginia) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Dear George, My heart breaks for you. Not because you aren’t fully able to be sexual, but because you think this...

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84.
What Good is Confidence if Women Don’t Give You the Time of Day?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: Women say confidence is very important, but what good is having confidence if women don't give a guy the time of day? I've also heard if you don't have (confidence) it, fake it. The problem with that logic is the woman will see through it over time. What do you think? -Brian (Oklahoma) Dr. Wendy Walsh: Dear Brian, You’re right. Confidence must be real. Faking it backfires every time....

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85.
I’m 65 and On Disability. Can You Give Me Good Advice?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I’m 65 and on disability. I’m a good man but am having problems finding a woman. I think I might be saying the wrong things. Can you please give me good advice? -Robert (Illinois) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Dear Robert, I’m not sure what things you could be saying that might be turning women off, but I will tell you women are attracted to a good, strong man of any age who loves himself...

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86.
“What Do His Texts Mean?!”
Julie Spira

Julie Spira

Digital dating can be fun and flirty, but it also comes with a huge amount of anxiety when you don’t hear the other person’s voice. Just how confused are you by the text messages he sends? What if your ex texts you out of nowhere? Is he looking to rekindle the spark? Does he have regrets about your breakup? Is he looking for a booty call? In a recent article on Cosmopolitan, they featured the new site HeTexted.com,...

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87.
Is He Single? 4 Ways to Know
Henry Perkins

Henry Perkins

I have a problem. I recently decided to volunteer at an LGBT organization in order to get some involvement in the community, quench my insatiable desire to help the less fortunate and selfishly find my future husband. I’m fairly certain I found him, and it’s safe to assume he’s gay given the nature of the organization. However, now I have to determine if he’s single. The problem is I lack the fortitude to be blunt,...

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88.
Is Shyness Ruining Your Dating Life?
Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

A great majority of the struggles I find men having with dating stem from anxiety. Whether it be insecurity of approaching a gay man you find interesting or a fear of intimacy or commitment, these dilemmas oftentimes have anxiety at their root. Anxiety is a big culprit in the great majority of male sexual dysfunctions as well. Fear can hold us back from realizing our potential and can also be a huge obstacle to...

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89.
Grab Dating by the Balls
Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Anxiety can be crippling when it comes to dating, whether it be feeling intimidated about approaching a guy you’d like to meet, worrying about deepening a connection with an already established dating partner or isolating from gay settings all together to ward off the fears and disappointments of not finding someone. What all of these scenarios have in common is avoidance, and the more something is avoided, the...

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90.
4 Steps to Breaking Out of Lesbian Lonely Land
Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Loneliness — is it an attitude or a place? I know you see it as a feeling. You say to yourself, “I feel lonely.” Or maybe you say, “I am lonely.” And then there are places that have been described as the loneliest places on Earth. Most frequently the loneliest place on Earth is when you’re in a crowd of happy people and you are feeling miserable. Yes, that’s the feeling of loneliness. And that’s an attitude that’s...

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Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor-in-Chief

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.

See Amber's full bio »

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