Key Takeaways
Our editors evaluated hundreds of dating sites based on their anonymity tools and verification checks.
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Ashley Madison is our #1 pick for discreet dating because it has photo masking and privacy tools.
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We recommend AdultFriendFinder for swingers and poly dating.
If you find yourself unhappy in your relationship, some apps can help you explore the fantasy of something new. People have various reasons for cheating, even if it’s only emotional cheating. Dissatisfaction in the relationship is the most common reason given for infidelity, according to a study from the Journal of Sex Research.
Online dating has been a go-to for chasing secret desires and finding a discreet affair. If you’re curious about exploring a romance outside your relationship, here are some apps to consider.
Best Apps for Marital Affairs
Monogamy can start to feel restrictive when you’re unhappily coupled. And instead of facing that reality, some people choose to stray and live an alternate life online. The dating apps on this list are all about seeking dates without drawing attention. We’re not here to judge; we’re here to present you with options.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs
- Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more
- Our Experts Say: “With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Ashley Madison is easily one of the best apps on the market for discreet dating. It’s been in operation since 2001, so it has a lot of experience to back its privacy tools.
While not everyone in the membership is married, Ashley Madison has long been known to shelter people with secret dating desires. Its profile includes comfort levels on how much they’re willing to share and what they’re open to exploring.
Pros
- Women can message for free
- Photo blurring and masking tools
- Over 91 million profiles
Cons
- Overly secretive matches
- No video features
The site has a lot of privacy features to help straying partners stay discreet. A panic button in the corner of the site instantly navigates you to a generic website, just in case someone walks in on you browsing.
Ashley Madison also has a private photo gallery with an individual key. This feature lets you reserve private photos for those you trust, so that your images will stay under wraps until you’re ready to reveal them. You can also blur and mask your main profile pictures to prevent identification.
- Relationships: Affairs, Friends with Benefits, Casual Dates
- Match System: Browse by appearance, location, lifestyle
- Our Experts Say: “Affairs aren’t taboo on Victoria Milan. The married dating site lets individuals be honest about their intentions and flirt anonymously. It’s an exciting place to try new things. Dating profiles might mask their faces in photos, but they’ll bare their fantasies in their bios. It’s free to join and see the date options out there.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Victoria Milan was designed to connect people who are married or in relationships. The affair dating site is especially popular in Europe, but it has a user base that stretches across 33 countries worldwide.
Pros
- Profiles include relationship status
- Built-in photo masking
- Filter by love nest availability
Cons
- Smaller dating pool
- Little profile verification
Finding a fling is simple using the site’s free search filters and match suggestions. Victoria Milan offers anonymizing features and privacy safeguards to limit the risk of discovery. The Anonymous Tools help members blur their faces in photos and avoid being seen by someone they know.
Victoria Milan has over 5 million members, and it adds 16,000 new members every single day!
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn’t about making friends, it’s about finding hookups and casual encounters. No adult site has a larger or more active user base of those seeking discreet fun.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
AdultFriendFinder has been around almost as long as the internet has, launching in the 1990s to offer adventurous adults a venue for chatting, hookups, and exhibitionism.
It is one of the largest online dating platforms in the world, with 105 million accounts globally.
Pros
- X-rated photos and videos
- No real names
- Don’t need to upload a photo to chat or browse
Cons
- No profile spot to disclose marital status
- Some ads and paywalls
The platform is also anonymous, and you can browse without even signing up first. With video chat, forum, and other semi-public options for communication, a cheating spouse can get their kicks without revealing anything about who they are.
NaughtyCharm
- Relationships: Hookups, Chats
- Match System: Search by encounter, location, and more
- Our Experts Say: “NaughtyCharm is a premier hookup app where you can feel comfortable expressing your desires. Plus, it’s free to join, browse, and flirt.”
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Among all of the sites and apps for no-strings flirts, NaughtyCharm stands out as one of the most direct. The dating site is a no-judgment zone primarily for anonymous flings.
Pros
- Fast signup takes under 1 minute
- Photo-based swiping
- Search filters based on appearance
Cons
- Little verification
- Messaging is a paid feature
The team has tools to monitor for duplicate photos and fake accounts. It doesn’t ask for names or many personal details, but it will automatically check photos and ensure they follow the guidelines.
NaughtyCharm isn’t the biggest dating pool, but that can be a good thing because it’s unlikely you’ll run into anyone you know here. And the search filters aren’t locked by city or ZIP code, so individuals can search far and wide for potential matches.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dating, Kinky Chats
- Match System: Search by age, location, gender, kinks, and appearance
- Our Experts Say: “KinkyPeopleMeet is a sex-driven site where kinksters share their fantasies without shame. It’s a dynamic community for hooking up. And the photo and video galleries offer plenty of titillating inspiration as well.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
KinkyPeopleMeet made a name for itself by offering a ton of kinky filters and profile details. It has space for people to share their sexuality, fantasies, and relationship statuses.
Even while credits have become the price of entry for video features, the core features, and especially private messaging, remain free.
Pros
- Judgment-free sexual expression
- Highly active members
- Descriptive profiles
Cons
- Not expressly for cheating
- Have to pay for videos
Members can indicate if they’re only interested in sexting or if they’d like to meet someone in person. That takes a lot of guessing games out of the equation.
Anonymous chatting is part of the deal on KinkyPeopleMeet, which doesn’t ask for real names or photos of your face. Although I’d caution that there are always risks of being caught, especially on mostly public sites.
Best Apps for Anonymous Swiping
If you’re more interested in anonymous browsing, rather than setting up a relationship, several platforms and cheating dating apps exist to help. These sites and apps let you look and chat anonymously, swipe and indulge your fantasies.
Fling.com
- Relationships: Casual Dating, Hookups, Friends with Benefits
- Match System: Search filters
- Our Experts Say: “Fling.com keeps things casual and connects horny adults with video and direct messaging. It doesn’t ask for real names, but it will verify photos as genuine to ensure catfish don’t last long here!” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Fling.com sets itself apart from other casual dating apps by putting things out in the open from the beginning. Its members specify on the profile whether they’re there to hook up, chat, or just explore. They can also indicate if they’re more vanilla or more freaky.
Pros
- Free direct chats
- Opt-in verification tools
- No names or exact locations
Cons
- Fewer rural matches
- Videos require credits to unlock
All photos are verified, and there are no rules against nudity, so it’s easy to feast your eyes on exposed body parts. However, privacy is still at the forefront, and users can choose a nickname to go by without needing to divulge their real identity.
Fling.com has video features that require credits to unlock, but everything else, including instant messaging, is free for everyone with a basic membership.
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “A hookup site specializing in casual encounters, secret affairs, live chats, and member videos, FriendFinder-X skips the awkward “dating” stage of a relationship and fast-forwards straight to the sex.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
FriendFinder-X is a website that promises no judgment, no commitments, and no pressure to rush into anything. This platform has an X in its name for a reason: Its X-rated content can satisfy adult desires any hour of the day or night.
Pros
- Sex-oriented members
- Nudity allowed
- Usernames mask identities
Cons
- Not all profiles have photos
- Overwhelming interface
Searching for a sexting partner? FriendFinder-X has search filters tailored to kinks, appearance, and interests, plus an “Online Now” section for quick connections.
Private messaging is a paid feature, but posting, commenting, and replying in the public discussion forum is totally free and could lead to a sexy meetup if you play your cards right.
SparkMeets
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dating, Chats
- Match System: Search by location, age, and appearance.
- Our Experts Say: “SparkMeets is a dating website that provides a fast track to a romance with a flirty partner. The network has private chats, search filters, and safety features to help spark real connections.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Not every cheater is looking for a long-term affair. Some would just like the quick excitement of a one-night stand with a stranger. As a casual hookup site, SparkMeets offers a way to look at profiles and photos without putting any of your personal details out there.
SparkMeets only asks for an email address, gender, age, and username to get going. It couldn’t be any simpler or faster to join a dating site.
Pros
- Profiles don’t have much identifying info
- Fast photo swiping
- Search by hair color, tattoos, piercings, and city
Cons
- Little profile verification
- No videos
We like the straightforward signup process, and users can even skip the photo upload if they’d rather lurk anonymously. Of course, only dating profiles with approved photos are eligible for free and paid communication options, so keep that in mind as you set up your dating profile.
9. Gleeden
Created by a married woman who has cheated before, Gleeden is a dating site for affairs that focuses on helping women. That’s why all women can chat for free.
Gleeden has garnered over 15 million signups, and many of these people are actively hunting for affairs and sexting conversations.
Gleeden is great for exploring romantic connections without fear of judgment. It has search tools based on location and appearance. People openly state if they’re in a relationship or marriage, and they make a point to respect each other’s private lives.
10. Tinder
The original swiping dating app, Tinder has a well-established reputation for helping people find hookups. If you want the thrill of the romantic hunt but not the heartache that comes with the follow-through, Tinder can be a good option.
You can simply swipe right, see if you get a mutual match, and chat without any implied commitment. The swiping mechanic makes it easy to fantasize without taking things further.
Tinder is popular for all types of dating. With the app helping to arrange about 1.5 million dates each week, you’ll find plenty of opportunities to explore new connections.
However, keep in mind that popularity can be a downside for cheaters because it increases the likelihood that someone you know might see your dating profile.
11. Grindr
For a cheating husband living in the closet or wanting to explore, Grindr is an attractive option. Grindr makes it easy to sign up: all you have to provide is an email address, user name, and your sexual interests, and you can get started.
The gay dating app works based on proximity, meaning the match listings show men who are nearby, sometimes within a few blocks. Grindr aims to stoke the fires of physical chemistry and create instant connections between guys on the prowl.
If you want to use Grindr while traveling to another city, you’ll need to upgrade to the premium package to get matches in another ZIP code than the one you signed up with.
FAQs: Do a Lot of People Use Dating Apps to Cheat?
One study found that as many as 40% of people admitted to using a dating app while in a relationship. That seems like a lot to me. And that’s just who owned up to it in a survey.
We can’t put a number on how many people cheat because we’d need them to admit it, and many obviously don’t want to do that.
An Ashley Madison survey yielded some surprisingly candid results. Only 44% of men and 39% of women who use the site said they’d actually had affairs. Over 60% of users said their motivation for using the site was to have a more exciting sex life. And 42% said they were hoping for friendships.
Which Affair Dating App Will Work Best for Me?
The best affair dating app depends on what you’re seeking, how many members are active near you, and how much discretion you need. Some platforms cater specifically to married people seeking affairs, while others are better suited to casual encounters or consensual non-monogamy.
Before joining, compare the apps ranked above based on their local user base, privacy controls, profile visibility, and communication features. No dating app can guarantee complete anonymity, so use a unique password, review its privacy settings, and avoid sharing identifying or financial information with someone you haven’t met.
Location can also make a major difference. Use our dating pool calculator to estimate how many compatible people you may find nearby:
This interactive tool needs JavaScript to run. See our top-rated dating apps instead.
Can My Partner See My Dating Profile?
If your partner is using the same dating app, they absolutely might discover your dating profile. You can block them if you see them first, but there’s no guarantee of that.
Cheaters always risk being discovered, especially with today’s technology. Some AI tools have gotten good at identifying if someone has a profile on a dating site. And spy apps can track messaging remotely or even take screenshots of your phone screen.
That’s why Ashley Madison has incognito browsing, masked photos, and a panic button to help discreet daters avoid detection. Members can identify their comfort levels and dating interests as well.
If you’re considering an online affair, it’s wise to think carefully about what details you include in your dating profile and the secret chats you keep on your phone.
Anonymous messaging sites like Kik and Snapchat can make it a bit easier to keep things secret. These often include tools for automatically deleting texts.
But you have to accept some level of risk to conduct an affair on dating apps – or anywhere, really.
Is Facebook Dating an Anonymous App?
The Facebook Dating app doesn’t post to your Facebook profile, nor does it show up on your account in any obvious way. But your information does come directly from your Facebook account. And the app seems to prioritize matches that have Facebook friends in common with you.
While it is possible to be undercover on Facebook Dating, it’s not a truly anonymous app, even though it doesn’t directly connect to your Facebook profile. The risks of being seen by someone connected to your partner make it a bad choice as a cheating app.
What Are Common Signs of Cheating?
Cheaters often go to great lengths to cover their tracks, but nobody is perfect. Many times, they inadvertently expose themselves by acting suspiciously or giving excuses that don’t quite add up.
Cheating is often an impulse decision or a fleeting curiosity. It’s not a great long-term lifestyle.
All these secrets are bound to get found out eventually. And that’s for the best. It’s much healthier to clear the air by having a direct conversation about your suspicions, your loneliness, or your temptations rather than sweeping it under the rug.
Methodology: How We Rank Dating Sites
At DatingAdvice.com, our job isn’t to judge people for their desires. It’s to identify which platform is aligned with what they’re seeking. This ultimately helps everyone in the dating ecosystem because it allows people to find their tribe and avoid awkward entanglements on mainstream apps that might not meet their needs.
Our reviewers tested each platform and rated it according to these key criteria:
- Popularity: Does the app have a diverse and active membership?
- Features: Does the platform allow individuals to stay anonymous and cultivate discreet dates?
- Safety: Are there safeguards to protect personal information? Are photo guidelines enforced?
- Value: Is the free experience enough to explore the online dating scene? Are upgrades affordably priced?
For this list in particular, we zeroed in on anonymity tools and privacy assurances. We also considered whether each platform explicitly welcomes married or partnered users and prioritized those in our rankings.
While we included certain niche apps geared specifically for affairs (Victoria Milan and Gleeden), we recognize that popular casual dating apps can actually be more beneficial for affair seekers because of the bigger dating pool and broader safety features.
Dates Stay Anonymous on Apps for Cheating Spouses
The best apps for cheating let you explore possibilities beyond your current commitment. Just browsing these options can offer a secret thrill, even if you never take it further than conversation.
The sites on this list give spouses an outlet for finding something more, and while they’re not risk-free, they can make it easier to see what’s out there and live like a single person for a time.
