Key Takeaways
Since 2012, our team of online dating experts have tested, researched, and reviewed the top dating services on the market.
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When it comes to discretion, Ashley Madison has the best anonymity tools to ensure user privacy.
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For those in an open marriage, FriendFinder-X has the most poly-friendly options and kink filters.
Infidelity is the siren call that attracts and seduces many married people — despite the consequences. In one survey, 16% of married adults admitted to having an affair. Research also shows that people who’ve cheated before are 350% more likely to do so again.
Whether it’s with a coworker or a stranger, affairs happen for all kinds of reasons. Loneliness. Boredom. Spite. Revenge sex. We’re not here to judge your choices — we’re here to review the top married dating apps that cater to forbidden desires and give you the time and privacy to weigh your options in the online dating scene.
1. Ashley Madison
Ashley Madison was among the first affair dating sites and apps to tempt married people to stray from their relationship. The dating site’s slogan, “Where discretion meets desire,” says it all. Now people of all relationship statuses have joined in the fun and sought no-strings romances. Discretion is at the heart of the Ashley Madison mission. Some of the most impressive tools include Quick Reply (so you can stay on top of your messages), private photo albums (you choose who sees what), and Photo Blurring or Masking (hide your face in your photos using their edit tools). Ashley Madison uses discreet billing, a discreet app icon, and it even has a Discreet Mode to put daters in control of their experience.
2. Victoria Milan
Victoria Milan is a naughty dating site that says “Relive the passion — find your affair.” First, the signup process is super quick. It only asks for your age, relationship status, gender, the gender you’re looking for, and email address. Thanks to the site’s anonymity tools, your dating profile is kept totally private until you’re ready to connect with a person online. The site also uses 256-bit top-level SSL security to protect your info. More than 5 million people have joined Victoria Milan, so what are you waiting for?
3. NaughtyCharm
NaughtyCharm is a hookup site where you can find any kind of casual encounter, no matter what your marital status is. It offers a judgment-free zone, so you don’t have to worry about playing games, putting on a facade, or hiding the fact that you’re in a committed relationship. Simply provide location, age, and gender, and NaughtyCharm will connect you with highly compatible and desirable people in your area. Naughty is in the name, so most of these casual daters won’t hold your marital status against you.
4. FriendFinder-X
FriendFinder-X is an X-rated dating site for swinging, threesomes, orgies, affairs, and practically anything else you can think of. With millions of users of various ages and from various backgrounds, FriendFinder-X calls itself “the world’s largest casual personals site.” After you sign up, some of the biggest perks include private photos and two-way webcams, and you don’t have to use your real name or upload a photo to join the sex network. Communication is free in the community forum, so if I were you, I’d head there first to take a look at the polls, meetups, and personal ads posted by local sex seekers in the area.
5. SparkMeets
SparkMeets is a casual dating site that can easily be used as a married dating site. The basic free membership gives immediate access to dating profiles and photos in the gallery, so they can swipe for matches without delay. Communication options on SparkMeets vary, and not everything is accessible for free. A premium member gets by far the best bang for their buck because they can talk to anyone they like, and the search rankings prioritize paid members higher than free members.
6. AdultFriendFinder
Founded in 1996, the Friend Finder community, including Adult Friend Finder, has a long-standing reputation as a popular adult dating site. Singles and couples flock here and find numerous ways to chat (private messaging, video, and group forums), and security features such as age verification. Not to mention, AFF users aren’t required to upload a photo or show their face at all (body shots are common). The site is full of nude pics and stripper videos, and it has kink filters to help you find a desirable date who’s into the same things you are.
7. Fling.com
Fling.com doesn’t market itself as a cheating site, but this anonymous flirting zone has attracted a good number of married people nonetheless. The casual dating platform can offer free messaging and profile browsing (no real names or profile pictures required), so you can see if the grass is really greener in another person’s DMs. Fling has a video gallery, X-rated photos, and tons of search filters by appearance and desire. These features support frisky people who want to explore the online dating scene without anyone being the wiser.
8. MenNation
Specifically for hookup-minded gay, bisexual, and curious men, MenNation has more than 87 million total users, all of whom identify as male. The casual dating site only asks you to complete a few steps, and then you can start browsing and chatting. You’ll come up with a username rather than your real name, and you can skip the photo upload if you prefer to lurk for a bit. Once completed, your MenNation dating profile could be your passport to a gay dating community full of male users of every sexual orientation and marital status.
9. KinkyPeopleMeet
KinkyPeopleMeet is a sexually forward dating site that’s designed for sexting strangers and finding kinky dates. It stands out as an inclusive and safe space for casual dating. The registration process has inclusive options for bi-curious, gay, lesbian, queer, polyamorous, and non-traditional daters, and absolutely no one is required to give their full name. KinkyPeopleMeet has X-rated photos, videos, and adult profiles to tempt users to explore their secret desires without shame. And let’s not forget that chatting is free, and you don’t need to make a mutual match to send a message to someone new.
10. Heated Affairs
Heated Affairs has a huge user base, a free basic membership, and a poly-friendly profile option — just to name a few of its benefits. You can join the community by sharing some basic information, then start searching for matches on your own while also receiving daily suggestions from the marital affair site. When a dating profile catches your attention, Heated Affairs offers photo sharing, instant messaging, and videos to help you break the ice and see where things go.
11. Gleeden
Gleeden declares it’s “the first extramarital affair site made by women.” That means women don’t have to worry about safety or price — the online dating site is monitored 24/7, and it’s free for women to use. One 41-year-old member who goes by the username Adventurer said: “I have been a member of Gleeden since February. I’ve met many different people. I’ve had platonic, friendly, [and] love relationships in different places. Chatting, talking on the phone, sending emails, and getting to know new people have been very important for me and very rewarding.”
FAQs: What’s Married Dating?
Married dating happens when married individuals can’t quite let go of their single identity or dating life. Maybe they’re curious about online dating and want to swipe vicariously under a fake name. Maybe they’re in an open relationship and have their partner’s blessing to date. Maybe they feel trapped in a toxic relationship and are looking for an escape route.
Ethical non-monogamy is a growing trend in the dating world, and that means more married people are joining the ranks of daters. By leading with honesty, instead of secrecy, married people are discovering ways to satisfy their sexual needs and keep their relationship strong.
Married dating is not a monolith. Some people harbor a daydream or fantasy of what could have been if they’d made different dating choices. And some aren’t satisfied with just imagining — so they create a dating profile to add excitement to their lives.
Can You Use Tinder If You’re Married?
The short answer is no, Tinder does not have a married dating option on signup, and it absolutely does not market itself as a dating app for married people, swingers, cheaters, or poly couples.
However, many married people do end up joining the Tinder dating pool under the guise of being single.
Tinder is one of the largest and most successful dating apps in the world, so it’s no wonder that it attracts single as well as not-so-single users. The app has created over 100 billion matches since 2012, and it is currently responsible for facilitating over 1.5 million dates per week.
One thing you should know about Tinder is that it will remove profiles that receive too many negative reports from other users. That means your time to flirt on the app may be limited if enough singles find out that you’re married and flag your dating profile for it.
Can I See If My Wife Is on Tinder?
Tinder does not have search features or general membership browsing — you’re stuck swiping on one dating profile at a time on this app — so finding one specific person in the Tinder-verse can be a frustrating and fruitless quest.
We’ve heard stories about husbands and wives stumbling on each other’s Tinder profiles (super awkward), but it depends on the luck of the draw to find them.
You can’t really control who the match algorithm shows you, and you won’t know if your spouse saw you first and blocked you. Instead of swiping blindly, I’d recommend trying a tool like CheaterBuster, which is an AI-powered search tool that scans dating apps for your partner’s name and photo.
If you suspect your wife is on Tinder, you could try snooping and spying to get the truth, but it’s probably better to take the direct route and either 1) look on her phone or 2) ask her directly and see what she says.
Is Ashley Madison Safe Now?
Ashley Madison had a privacy scandal in the summer of 2015 that shook the online dating world. Hackers stole personal information, tried to blackmail the company, and ultimately exposed millions of names, credit card numbers, and addresses on the dark web.
It was a mess that cost Ashley Madison $11 million in fines and changed the way it protected user information.
Since then, Ashley Madison has worked tirelessly to rid itself of the cloud of suspicion and scandal. The team has bolstered its security measures, provided features to support user anonymity, and invested a lot of resources into keep scammers and hackers at bay.
As a result, we can confidently say that Ashley Madison is much safer than it used to be, and it remains a leading discreet dating site that’s free to try.
Ashley Madison has a membership base of over 91 million people, which makes it an appealing target for hackers looking for blackmail material or personal data to steal. Even so, the security team has taken extensive steps to help members stay protected.
Now a married man can mingle on this dating platform without worry because his information is encrypted and out of reach of nefarious characters.
Where Can I Meet a Married Woman Online?
If you’re interested in dating a married woman, we’d recommend mingling in a more casual dating space where singles and couples can intermingle without judgment. FriendFinder-X touts itself as an adult dating site where “good girls to bad things,” so we’d say this is the perfect naughty background to woo a wedded woman.
FriendFinder-X uses location-based matching tools to help users find dates who are close in proximity and willing to engage in a low-key sexual adventure. It even has search tools by kink and marital status.
How Do Affairs Begin?
It can begin with a sultry look, a flirty quip, or a suggestive text. It can seem like a harmless flirtation at first. Whether you’re in person or online, the affair will usually begin with a feeling of longing and curiosity.
It’s thrilling to meet someone new because there’s so much you don’t know about that other person, so your imagination can fill in the blanks however it wants.
You could feel that person out by asking for a coffee date or meeting up for drinks at a bar. As you hang out in real life, you may discover the spark isn’t as strong as you originally thought…or you may be swept off your feet. And then things can get complicated.
An affair begins with heady emotions and adrenaline. However, it can’t last forever. Eventually, the cheater will have to decide whether to recommit to their marriage or to leave it for someone else.
Do You Really Love Someone If You Cheat on Them?
This is a serious question that has kept many a person up at night. Cheating hurts your partner. It is a breach of trust. And it can happen even when a person is in love with their partner and wants to stay in the relationship.
Some people may say that if you truly love someone, you would never cheat on them. But love doesn’t make a person perfect, and cheating isn’t always about love.
“Desire runs deep. Betrayal runs deep. But it can be healed.” -Esther Perel in her Rethinking Infidelity TED Talk
How does love respond to a drunken mistake? Does one night undo decades of loyalty? Is cheating the end of love, no matter what? Can a relationship move forward after one or both of you have cheated? The answers very much depend on the situation and the individuals involved.
If you are compassionate, honest, and committed to each other, then it is possible to recover and rebuild your love after a cheating incident. But you have to be willing to put in the time to heal, the effort to change, and the strength to accept responsibility and forgive yourself or your partner.
You have to talk to your partner about how you feel. That’s what it takes to move forward.
What’s the Best Dating Site for a Gay Man Who’s Married?
Most of the dating sites on this list are open to both straight and gay users, but if you want to focus on dating in the gay community and picking up dates on your terms, then a hookup site like MenNation should be on your radar.
This men-only dating site offers free membership to gay singles and gay couples looking for no-strings-attached romances. It doesn’t ask for real names or photos. And, as our reviewer details, the site contains a lot of adult content.
More than 77,000 men mingle here every day (and night), and they’re all looking for sexually charged conversations and new gay connections.
MenNation keeps things real and doesn’t mess around with complex matching algorithms or swiping systems. It has search filters by kinks, physical appearance, and lifestyle, and it encourages joining the chat room, discussion board, or video chat room to mix things up.
Now, our reviews are based on our experience testing and researching the service, but your personal success rate may vary depending on where you are, who you are, and what you want. Take our quiz to get a more personalized recommendation that meets your needs:
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No Rings Needed on These Affair Sites
According to survey data, about 10% of affairs begin online, and the apps on this list have certainly facilitated more than a few secret affairs. If you’re thinking about dating as a married person, you can explore on your own terms with an anonymous dating profile.
Online daters never quite know who they’ll meet while swiping, and that’s part of the excitement. Every dating platform on this list has the potential to change your perspective and introduce you to real-life date options worth exploring in your private time.
The nonjudgmental atmosphere may be exactly what you need to clear your mind and decide what you really want. Membership is free, so you won’t have to stress about bills making their way back to your spouse. Just remember to clear your browsing history when you’re finished. And most importantly, stay safe.
