Dating Sites Not For Hookups

Online Dating

13 Dating Sites That Aren’t for Hookups (Feb. 2024)

Ashayla Blakely

Written by: Ashayla Blakely

Ashayla Blakely

Ashayla Blakely is an experienced storyteller who has fun writing authentic and relatable content for DatingAdvice.com. As a hopeless romantic, Ashayla has always enjoyed sharing good conversation and advice about dating. She graduated with a bachelor's degree in Telecommunications from the University of Florida. She is currently enrolled in the graduate program at Florida State University's film school. You can often catch her with a script in her hand, calling out the shots in her many directorial roles on set.

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Edited by: Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com.

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Hookup culture may seem like it’s everywhere online, but not every dating app is a hookup app. I know plenty of couples who met their perfect match online and got into a long-term relationship, and that kind of success story is possible for you too!

Looking for a date can feel nerve-wracking –– especially when you’re unsure about someone’s intentions. Trying to decipher between the serious daters and the casual flakes can be just plain exhausting if your goal is to find love in real life. 

Online dating can work for more than just a casual hookup and to prove it we’ve ranked 13 of the best dating sites for meeting your soulmate. 

1. Match

★★★★★
4.9/5.0

Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships

Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more

Our Experts Say: “Match has facilitated the most dates and relationships of any dating site, and its large audience and high success rate make it our top review…” Full Review »

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The dating site Match is an oldie but a goodie. Match.com launched in 1995 on a mission to help people build genuine relationships that lead to marriage. Over the years, Match has established a good reputation for helping singles build authentic relationships that go way deeper than casual flings.

Singles falsely believe they have to lower their standards to find a date — but that’s not the case on Match. The dating platform’s simple matchmaking process pairs members based on their preferences. Match suggests profiles with compatible views, values, and goals. This allows you to take the lead on your dating journey. 

Match is a free dating site to join, and some chat features are free as well. Members can chat freely with Top Picks and respond to all incoming messages. If you want access to unlimited messaging and enhanced features such as seeing who viewed your profile, then you should upgrade to Match’s paid membership. 

★★★★★
4.8/5.0

Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships

Match System: Personality test suggests matches

Our Experts Say: “Accounting for 2% of U.S. marriages, eharmony’s compatibility-based system and commitment-minded user base are ideal for those seeking a serious relationship…” Full Review »

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eharmony is a dating hub where single people can find genuine love. Members don’t have to worry about being solicited for casual sex because everyone on the app has the same goal –– to get who gets you. The eharmony app offers singles a real chance to meet people who share the same interests and beliefs. 

The eharmony team acts as the perfect wingman to help with your dating needs. Members can opt to complete a compatibility quiz to maximize the accuracy of their potential matches. The eharmony platform creates unique compatibility breakdowns for users who have completed the quiz.

Free members can upgrade to a premium membership to unlock unlimited messaging and exclusive dating content. 

What’s cool about eharmony is the mature and diverse singles community it supports. eharmony uses a smart filter system to empower niche dating communities for Christian dating and gay dating. To ensure that members never feel alone in the process, the team offers sound dating advice on its blog and email newsletter. 

★★★★★
4.8/5.0

Relationships: Serious Relationships

Match System: Search, Receive Partner Suggestions

Our Experts Say: “EliteSingles is a leading dating site just for busy, single professionals. More than 80% of members have earned a college degree, and most are looking for a serious commitment…” Full Review »

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As I mentioned earlier, having high standards isn’t a bad thing in the dating scene. I always advise people to go after what they want — and that applies to their dating lives as well. The EliteSingles dating site aims to make sure well-educated and successful singles don’t have to lower their dating standards. This dating platform supports high-quality matches that have long-term relationship potential. 

EliteSingles has a high success rate with thousands of singles finding love every month. The EliteSingles team actively works toward fine-tuning the matchmaking algorithm to make the site and app better for singles seeking a real relationship. EliteSingles uses an intelligent matchmaking process to create matches that take unique dating needs into account. 

“We believe that real happiness starts with a truly like-minded match, which is why our passion is helping compatible singles connect. If you’re serious about finding lasting love, then EliteSingles is the American dating site for you,” said the EliteSingles team. 

EliteSingles is one of the safest and most secure dating platforms on the market. The team conducts daily quality checks to ensure honest daters needn’t worry about running into fake profiles and scammers in this upscale community. 

★★★★★
4.5/5.0

Relationships: Dates and Serious Relationships

Match System: Search by gender, age, education, more

Our Experts Say: “ChristianMingle is among the largest dating sites in the industry that only caters to single Christian men and women, and the site has some of the best search filters and safety features…” Full Review »

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The faith-based dating site Christian Mingle is on a mission to help Christian men and women connect and form a God-centered relationship. This dating platform is about as far away from hookup culture as you can get online.

Christian Mingle aims to foster long-term relationships, not casual dating. The vast majority of Christian Mingle members are looking for a committed relationship based on shared values and beliefs. Christian Mingle focuses on creating new and exciting ways for singles to meet while still strengthening Godly relationships. 

Christian Mingle has over 16 million members and continues to grow in numbers every day. The site has some cool features for finding true love. Christian Mingle offers a free membership and paid subscription to accommodate different types of online daters. The free membership comes with basic features that allow members to view profiles, sort through matches, and send likes. 

Members can review daily matches to find commonality. They may also want to deepen their dating profile by adding unique personal information about their favorite Bible verses and reasons for believing in God.

“It’s simple to make a page,” said Janel in a testimonial. “It’s easy to navigate and find matches in your area (or more distance if you prefer). I searched within 100 miles and I found the guy whom I am still married to today! But I think there are good quality and genuine people to meet on this website.”

★★★★★
4.6/5.0

Relationships: Dates and Relationships

Match System: Search by profiles by zip and more

Our Experts Say: “OurTime is well-known in the over-50 dating crowd, particularly because it has a ton of helpful search features and an easy layout…” Full Review »

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OurTime is a senior dating site that strives to change the way older singles date. Online dating isn’t just a solution for the younger generation, and OurTime proves that. OurTime creates meaningful connections between single people in the 50+ age range.

OurTime members often are looking to remarry, marry for the first time, or simply find companionship –– and pretty much no one is trying to waste time on casual dating. 

OurTime emphasizes making the most out of your time and turning “what ifs” into what can be. The senior dating service gives older people a chance to start fresh in the dating world. Members can engage in text conversations and discover shared interests thanks to the simple interface.

Users can browse profiles freely but unlimited communication costs a bit extra. OurTime has a premium membership plan starting at $29.96 per month. A lot of users prefer going the premium membership route to unlock more messaging tools. As it stands now, free members on OurTime can only message people in their Top Picks list. 

★★★★
4.1/5.0

Relationships: Deep Relationships or Just Casual Dates

Match System: Search by location, age, more

Our Experts Say: “BlackPeopleMeet.com is the one of the largest and most popular dating sites for black and biracial singles, and the site is used by more than 5 million people a month…” Full Review »

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BlackPeopleMeet is a Black dating app dedicated to connecting single people with diverse backgrounds and strong cultural values. As an African American woman, I understand how important it is to keep #BlackLove alive. Black daters can connect on a deeper level through shared traditions and similar upbringings.  

BPM Founder Jack launched the BPM dating website in 2002 when online dating was still in its infancy. His primary goal was to create a hub for Black people to thrive and find common interests.

BlackPeopleMeet is now considered the number one Black dating app in the U.S. and Canada. The Black community is a primary focus of BlackPeopleMeet. The team is always working to develop new ways to engage and strengthen the community. 

Finding a local match is relatively easy on BlackPeopleMeet. The site and app have search filters by age, ZIP code, height, religion, and appearance, among other compatibility factors. The BPM app has over 5 million members currently, so a new user won’t soon run out of profiles to view and new connections to explore.

7. JDate

★★★★★
4.7/5.0

Relationships: Casual Dates and Long-Term Relationships

Match System: Search and receive matches

Our Experts Say: “JDate is a go-to dating site for single Jewish men and women, and the site doesn’t charge for browsing and flirting…” Full Review »

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JDate is a Jewish dating site that has successfully delivered quality matches in the Jewish community for over 25 years. Jdate is the go-to dating site for Jewish relationships. Since its launch in 1997, the dating website has gained popularity and built a community where people share the same faith and values. 

JDate’s mission is to strengthen the Jewish community and ensure Jewish traditions continue for generations to come. As a consequence, many more JDate users are looking for a serious relationship than a short-term hookup. JDate users can explore daily matches, set individual date preferences, and send messages to any person who catches their eye. The interface is similar to traditional dating sites, but the membership of marriage-minded Jewish singles is unique to JDate.

“We try to help you stay inspired, empowered, and above all, happy in the Jewish dating game,” said the JDate team. 

★★★★★
4.6/5.0

Relationships: Friendship, Casual Dates, Serious Relationships

Match System: Search by age, location, height, education, ethnicity, and religion

Our Experts Say: “SilverSingles is a fast-growing, easy-to-use niche dating site exclusively for active daters over the age of 50…” Full Review »

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SilverSingles is a senior dating site that caters exclusively to older singles. Seniors over the age of 50 can find friendships, companionship, and romance in this unique network. SilverSingles offers a unique and fun approach to online dating without making things too complicated. Mature singles only need an email address to register for a free account and browse profiles on the site and app.

SIlverSingles boasts having exceptional customer service that many users praise. The team works hard to foster a smooth online dating experience without unnecessary swiping games and superficial matchmaking. This is especially helpful to older singles jumping back into the dating game after a long relationship or marriage.

The match algorithm works on members’ behalf by matching like-minded people based on their profile information. Members can take a personality quiz to help the dating experts find the most compatible matches in a given mile radius. SilverSingles provides daily match recommendations and do-it-yourself search filters so senior daters have the ability to chart their own course in online dating.

“I was very satisfied with this app. The daily matches were always with different interesting individuals,” said an anonymous SilverSingles user in a review. “My six months on the app was money well spent and I would highly recommend it to others seeking a jump start to one’s dating pursuits.”

9. Zoosk

★★★★★
4.7/5.0

Relationships: Fun Dates, Serious Relationships

Match System: Search and get match recommendations

Our Experts Say: “Zoosk is integrated with social media sites, like Facebook and Google+, so it’s very popular with singles on the go…” Full Review »

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Zoosk is a dating app that’s rapidly growing in popularity in the online dating industry. Zoosk has millions of members worldwide, but it still manages to create a personalized experience for single people. Even with such a large dating pool, Zoosk provides custom matches thanks to its learning algorithm, and the platform recommends unique virtual date experiences to help couples build on their online connection.

Since the pandemic, Zoosk Great Dates has become an integral part of the dating platform’s matchmaking. Zoosk Great Dates can upgrade the dating experience by offering an interactive video date for couples getting to know one another. The fun video feature inspires members to meet face to face and have more engaging conversations on the platform.

Zoosk prioritizes safe dating that also gets results and leads to lasting relationships. Zoosk Great Dates can help members can feel more comfortable and connected to online matches without having to go on a coffee date every other day. Video dates can break the ice in a fun way while ensuring catfishers don’t go undetected.

10. Hinge

Hinge is a popular dating app for college students, single professionals, and anyone else with serious dating intentions. Since 2012, the Hinge platform has defined itself as more than the typical hookup app. Its slogan “designed to be deleted” encapsulates the ultimate goal of the matchmaking game — to be so effective that a single person no longer needs it because they’re no longer single.

As a relationship app, Hinge carries a heavy responsibility and has all sorts of features to discourage superficial dating. Hinge profiles offer six photos and four prompts to spark conversations and meaningful connections. According to data from its Date Feedback feature, Hinge users report a 70% success rate of first dates leading to second dates, so the system is clearly working well.

hinge logo
Hinge is popular among young, college-aged daters.

Hinge matches singles people based on their location and personal compatibility. The app has date preferences according to a variety of lifestyle factors, including religious beliefs, political values, and the desire to have children. Hinge users can message their mutual matches with a free subscription, and they can send an initial greeting to anyone they fancy on their swipe list.

“I met my boyfriend with this app. And I am pretty happy we matched. We are very compatible and there wouldn’t be any other way to meet each other. Other than using this app. So I am very grateful for the hinge app,” said a Hinge user in a review

11. Bumble

The dating app known as Bumble has over 100 million members, and fewer than 1% of them report looking for a casual hookup. If you think you know all about online dating, think again because Bumble isn’t your ordinary dating app. Bumble challenges the antiquated rules of dating and builds meaningful connections between all types of people.

bumble logo
On Bumble, single women have exclusive First Move privileges.

The Bumble app promotes gender equality in dating by upending the traditional gender norm where a man has to make the first move. Women have the exclusive right to make the first move in matches with a man. Once a couple of the opposite sex has matched, the woman will need to send an opening line to unlock communication and allow the man to message her back. He cannot message her first.

Bumble empowers singles to take control of their dating journey and become more confident in themselves. The majority of Bumble users are college students, single professionals, and young feminist daters who resonate with the app mission.

“We prioritize kindness and respect, providing a safe online community for users to build new relationships,” said the Bumble team. 

12. Coffee Meets Bagel

Coffee Meets Bagel is a dating app for serious daters. The team has reported that 91% of members are on the app to find committed relationships. Coffee Meets Bagel’s main objective is to introduce couples to compatible matches that can go the distance. Its interface is famous for prioritizing quality over quantity by capping the number of profile likes and views a person can make in a day.

Coffee Meets Bagel helps singles who are ready to find a relationship.

Coffee Meets Bagels equips singles to go on their last first date. From the very beginning, the app founders emphasized the importance of helping people connect organically and safely. The dating app supports genuine conversations between high-quality matches. 

The app’s detailed and engaging dating profiles put personality front and center, and that helps conversations start on the right foot. Plus, Coffee Meets Bagels has fun icebreakers that members can use to get to know one another without the pressure of coming up with a witty pickup line

13. Facebook Dating

Compared to other online dating sites, Facebook Dating is a rather new dating platform on the scene. The service launched in 2019 as a pet project of Mark Zuckerberg. Facebook Dating is accessible only through the Facebook app, but the dating activity is completely separate from the mainstream newsfeed on the social media site.

Facebook Dating provides singles with the necessary tools to start deep conversations and create meaningful relationships.

facebook dating logo
Facebook offers a useful and growing online dating platform.

Facebook Dating is a completely free online dating service. Seriously, there’s no catch! Free registration, free chatting, free matches — no payment needed ever.

Users can slide into each other’s DMs and send likes and messages as they please. Facebook Dating is a great option for singles on a budget and looking to explore the dating scene without a lot of pressure. Facebook Dating is not nearly as popular as Match, Tinder, and other mainstream dating sites, but it’s a great introduction into how online dating works. 

FAQs: Do Real Relationships Actually Start on Dating Apps?

Long story short –– yes! There are so many success stories that you can find on the web that share how impactful online dating can be. Online dating is actually the most popular way to meet a future spouse these days.

Online dating is a risk, but a risk worth taking if you’re looking for the love of your life. Our experts firmly believe that online dating is worth a try because no other way of meeting people has proven as convenient, efficient, and successful. Definitely beats trolling for dates at a local bar! Not to mention it’s free to create a dating profile, so it’s not unlikely that you’ll find true love for the low cost of nothing at all.

Which Discreet Dating Site Works Best?

Ashley Madison is a discreet married dating app that is perfect if you’re looking to date down on the low. Members of Ashley Madison don’t have to worry about their business being put into the spotlight. The dating service has discreet services that include photo masking, a nondescript app icon, and private invite-only galleries.

★★★★
4.0/5.0

Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs

Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more

Our Experts Say: “With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships…” Full Review »

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Since it launched in 2001, Ashley Madison has gained a naughty reputation for helping people explore their sexual desires and even purse an extramarital affair. Over the years, Ashley Madison has seen over 80 million registrations by married people, poly individuals, and casual daters. If that sounds like your crowd, it’s worth signing up for a free membership to encounter local matches. 

What’s the Best Dating Site for Jewish Singles Seeking Love?

JDate is the largest Jewish dating site in the game right now. JDate is all about helping Jewish singles find a date with similar beliefs and backgrounds. For over 25 years, JDate has inspired serious relationships and marriages between Jewish people, and your love story could be next!

★★★★★
4.7/5.0

Relationships: Casual Dates and Long-Term Relationships

Match System: Search and receive matches

Our Experts Say: “JDate is a go-to dating site for single Jewish men and women, and the site doesn’t charge for browsing and flirting…” Full Review »

Browse Free: View Photos Now

Safety is a high priority for the JDate team. The customer care team reviews each dating profile upon signup and flags any obvious catfish users or scammers trying to infiltrate the Jewish community.

If your safety is important to you while online dating, Jdate is a great dating site and app to explore and establish genuine connections.

“I’ve had a pretty good experience with this site so far. I would recommend them for sure,” said Becky, a Jdate user in a review.

Pick the Right Dating Platform to Find True Love

Many online dating platforms are dedicated to helping singles find a committed and long-term relationship. When joining a serious dating service, singles don’t have to worry about playing games and can openly share their intentions to fall in love and get married. 

Despite the prevalence of hookup culture, not all dating sites are for hookups, and serious daters don’t have to settle for the likes of Tinder in their search for a partner.

Remember that online dating is a numbers game, so don’t just stick to one app or site. The more you try, the higher your odds of meeting someone special. Best of luck!

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