Key Takeaways
I’ve tested and reviewed dating apps that allow ethical non-monogamy, and these are my top picks for casual sex seekers.
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AdultFriendFinder: Overall Best App for Threesomes
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Fling.com: Best Adult Site for Kink Searches
Nontraditional relationship structures are becoming increasingly common, and for good reason. More people are realizing that a monogamous marriage isn’t the only path, and for some people, it feels stifling. According to recent studies, 21% of Americans have engaged in some form of consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives.
If you’re into nontraditional dating, then you need a nontraditional dating app. Since it launched in 2014, Feeld has made a name for itself in this space, but it’s not the only way to look for threesomes and non-monogamous connections. We’ve tested, rated, and ranked the best threesome dating apps that serve a variety of people with fluid dating goals.
Apps Like Feeld: What They Do Better
What makes a good dating app for open relationships? Being friendly to ethical non-monogamy is a good start, but they also need to allow for couples profiles and have trusted processes for content moderation and profile verification. They have to look out for user privacy and free expression of desire. These top-rated apps do exactly that!
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn’t about making friends, it’s about finding hookups and casual encounters. No adult site has a larger or more active user base of those seeking discreet fun.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Adult Friend Finder is a sex-positive dating site that doesn’t judge users for wanting nontraditional relationships. Its signup is open to singles, couples, and groups, and it has kink filters, nude content, and a discussion forum to keep things interesting.
This is a great place to mix of sex and ENM dating. It’s especially good if Feeld isn’t quite raunchy enough for you. Plus, AFF has live video feeds accessible to Gold members.
It’s super easy to sign up for Adult Friend Finder because so little identifying info is required. That’s good for personal privacy. There’s no background screening, but there is mandatory age verification and an opt-in photo verification.
What It Does Better Than Feeld: Adult Friend Finder is better for daters who want to find partners based on specific search criteria – like body type or sexual interests – and those who are more interested in the sexual components of non-monogamy and the freedom to solicit sex with no strings.
Fling.com
- Relationships: Casual Dating, Hookups, Friends with Benefits
- Match System: Search filters
- Our Experts Say: “Fling.com keeps things casual and connects horny adults with video and direct messaging. It doesn’t ask for real names, but it will verify photos as genuine to ensure catfish don’t last long here!” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
If you like the swipe-based styling of Feeld but want to get a little bit spicier, check out Fling.com. This adult dating site allows users to openly state their intentions – whether vanilla or kinky – and use kink filters to find willing partners wanting the same.
Fling.com has plenty of features (including text messages, voice notes, and video calls) that help people form real connections and show their naughty sides. It’s more about exploration and entertainment than traditional dating. If you want, you could totally use it like a social media platform, but with more nudes.
And like Feeld, Fling.com is inclusive. It has signup fields for couples, transgender people, and nonbinary users.
What It Does Better Than Feeld: Fling.com is much, much spicier than Feeld. It’s the kind of place where people sext right off the bat. Fling isn’t as restrictive when it comes to location either, so you can search in other cities or even countries to find a kinkster community that suits you.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dating, Kinky Chats
- Match System: Search by age, location, gender, kinks, and appearance
- Our Experts Say: “KinkyPeopleMeet is a sex-driven site where kinksters share their fantasies without shame. It’s a dynamic community for hooking up. And the photo and video galleries offer plenty of titillating inspiration as well.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Unlike Feeld, KinkyPeopleMeet isn’t just a casual dating site with kinky options; kink is the whole point. It’s made for daters who want non-traditional relationships and sexual experiences. Profiles put fetishes front and center, so you’ll be able to tell at a glance if the person is into threesomes, swinging, or experimentation.
The site is great for couples, with users being able to initially set their profile to “man,” “woman,” or “couple” in the signup process. No real names are required, and you can skip the photo upload…or decide to go all in and add a sexy photo up top.
What It Does Better Than Feeld: KinkyPeopleMeet offers great verification features for users to make sure things are on the up and up. It’s great for jumping into spicy relationships, and it offers a lot more kink filters than Feeld does to find adults with similar sexual interests.
- Relationships: Hookups, Casual Dates, Affairs
- Match System: Search by age, location, appearance, and more
- Our Experts Say: “With its massive user base and advanced privacy features, Ashley Madison is the #1 site for discreet hookups, dates, or relationships.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Known as the go-to site for discreet dating, Ashley Madison has long been the top option for non-monogamy. And with over 91 million users, it’s about six times larger than Feeld.
Ashley Madison started in 2001 as an affair dating site, but it’s since expanded to all sorts of under-the-radar dating activities. All sorts of daters can benefit from ironclad privacy features, right?
As ethical non-monogamy has gained momentum, Ashley Madison has opened itself up to users seeking no-strings sex, casual dates, and threesomes. The Discreet Match feature lets users identify if they’re private, open, or flexible when it comes to romantic exploration.
What It Does Better Than Feeld: Ashley Madison is the better non-monogamy app for users prioritizing their privacy and perhaps wanting to stay on the down low. Users can blur or mask their faces in profile photos, or they can choose to not upload a photo at all.
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “A hookup site specializing in casual encounters, secret affairs, live chats, and member videos, FriendFinder-X skips the awkward “dating” stage of a relationship and fast-forwards straight to the sex.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
FriendFinder-X is a sex-forward dating site designed to be inclusive to sexually active singles and couples. It offers a great space to find sexting partners or one-night stands, with livestreams, webcams, and community message boards that organize IRL meetups.
FriendFinder-X is definitely an “everything goes” site, but users are able to select the level of nudity and explicit content they want to see, making it easy to go at your own pace.
What It Does Better Than Feeld: FriendFinder-X has more explicit content than Feeld, including live video shows and naked photo galleries. It shows profiles in a grid instead of one at a time, so if you’re bored with the swiping setup, this is a great alternative!
Safety & Consent Checklist for Meeting on a Threesome App
Whether you’re on a threesome app or Bumble, the rules for staying safe while meeting someone new online remain largely the same. The only difference would be the pacing. People on a threesome app tend to move more quickly to intimate and sensitive subjects. They might want to plan a meeting sooner too.
Make sure to protect yourself by thinking through your actions and carefully vetting matches.
Before You Meet: Spot Fake Profiles & Protect Your Privacy
Be wary of profiles that seem too good to be true. Is some beautiful bisexual woman begging to join you and your wife in the bedroom? Does that seem realistic? Did a rich guy offer to buy you extravagant gifts, even though you haven’t even met? Why would he do that?
- Look for profile red flags like sketchy photos.
- Ask follow-up questions to ensure the person is genuine.
- Keep communication on the app (don’t give out your number).
- Refuse any requests for money, favors, gifts, or loans.
- Block anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable.
If you notice a profile always responds immediately or sounds overly flowery with exaggerated compliments, those are signs that something is off. Do a reverse image search on their photos. Look up their names on Facebook or LinkedIn. And trust your gut if something feels off.
At the First Meeting: Public Place, Clear Consent, & STI Testing
Many people on sex apps are eager to jump right into sex on their first encounter, but try to slow down just enough to ensure it’s a safe hookup. You should follow the same rules you’d put in place on any first date. Meet in public, tell someone where you’re going, and have your own transportation.
- Make sure you’re with a consenting adult.
- Come up with a safe word.
- Talk about safe sex practices.
- Ask about STI testing and health concerns.
- Meet in a public place.
- Continually check in and communicate expectations.
And if you do move to a physical relationship, make sure to prioritize clear consent at every stage and get proof of recent STI screening. Better safe than sorry!
FAQs: What Is a Threesome App?
A threesome app is a dating platform that allows users to find potential dates for group sex or orgies. Often it allows couples to create a shared profile and openly state that they’re seeking a third.
This differs from mainstream apps like Tinder that have rules against couples or married people joining.
Is Feeld an App for Swingers?
Not explicitly. This open-minded swiping app certainly can help swingers, but they’ll be in a larger pool with people who are looking for all types of connections. Most members are non-monogamous, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re down for swinging.
Swingers should look beyond Feeld because while it is a great platform to find threesomes in certain areas and for certain demographics, it may not always be the best option for older adults, those in rural areas, or those who want to use the app for sex only.
Do Threesome Apps Cost Money?
Sometimes. Most have a free option to join, though they may require payment to use certain search filters, incognito mode, video chat, or even messaging functionality. Here’s a breakdown of what’s free and what’s paid on the top-rated apps on our list:
| Dating Platform | What’s Free | What’s Paid |
|---|---|---|
| Adult Friend Finder | Free discussion forum, X-rated photos, read incoming messages, like and favorite profiles. | Unlimited private messaging, live video feeds, advanced searches. |
| Fling | Some messaging, kink filters, video chat, unlimited profile likes. | Full access to videos, expanded search tools, and all communication features. |
| KinkyPeopleMeet | Direct messaging, search by fetish, like and favorite profiles. | Video features, unlimited chatting, more search options. |
| Ashley Madison | Women message for free. Men can reply for free. | Unlimited first contacts for men. |
| FriendFinder-X | Comment and post in the forum, send replies, view adult content, browse incognito. | Private chatting, some video content. |
FriendFinder-X has a good free membership that allows adults to view X-rated content, read incoming messages, like profiles, and communicate in the discussion forum. The forum includes invites to events and meetups, so it’s possible that a person with a free membership could still find a threesome connection here.
However, the Gold Membership is the only way to send private messages on the site, so those who pay definitely have the edge.
Can Couples Use Tinder to Find a Third?
Yes, but we don’t recommend it. Tinder will remove any couple found using the app. It is against the rules. And, more than that, it’s unlikely you’ll find someone willing to join you as a third there.
“We wish it could but Tinder does not want a profile to represent a couple. The last time we tried they shut us down.” -Antonio on Quora
You’ll need to look through a lot of profiles, many of whom will be annoyed to see a couple on there when they’re trying to date monogamously.
Unicorn hunters do not have a good reputation in the mainstream dating world. That’s why niche spaces have popped up where they can escape the judgment and actually find the types of connections they’ve fantasized about.
How Long Does It Take to Find a Threesome on an App?
Finding a threesome on an app can take days, weeks, or months depending on who and where you are and the app you use.
I don’t have a definite timeline for you. But I’d say, generally speaking, if you’re a woman, you’ll be able to find threesomes pretty much immediately. And if you’re a man, it’s more likely to take weeks or months.
If you’re in a rural area, you’re probably going to have to expand your search radius to speed things up.
And no matter who you are, you’re better off on an app made for non-monogamy. This quiz can help you identify which ones will work for singles like you:
This interactive tool needs JavaScript to run. See our top-rated dating apps instead.
The Right Threesome App Is the One That Fits Your Needs
Like with anything, apps are not one-size-fits-all territory. Some apps are open to all sorts of kinksters discovering their fantasies, and others cater specifically to people looking for threesomes and non-monogamy. Choose the best one(s) for you and your situation.
Before you set up a profile, agree to ground rules with your partner(s), and join with a free membership first to get a feel for what you want.
