Let's Talk Commitment (Page 8)

Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor: Lillian Castro

Updated:

They say the first step is the hardest. But that’s not always true in the world of dating. Asking someone on a first date can often feel less daunting than asking for exclusivity.

Our articles focus on the transition from casual dating to exclusive relationships, so daters can transition with confidence. Read about what it takes to form long-term partnerships, strengthen bonds, and date for marriage.

Experts explore and discuss signs of readiness in you and your partner and how to handle the fears that can come with getting serious. Need to know how to discuss labels or plan for the future? We cover that too.

Our advice will help you find all you need to build a foundation that truly lasts, including conflict resolution, boundaries, and intimacy. Learn more from our experts about establishing rock-solid relationships, building trust, and doing the emotional work needed for a real commitment.

324 Results

What Our Experts Say:

211.
Monogamy Versus Open Relationships
Katie B.

Katie B.

Every person and every couple has to decide for themselves what love and commitment looks like for them. Maybe it's the traditional one-person-for-life, he's-her-lobster type of deal. Or maybe it's a different arrangement where partners trust each other to have their fun and flings on the side while still staying committed to their primary relationship. The experience of being in an open relationship isn't often...

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212.
Gay Men and Commitment: Being Monogamous Isn’t Monotonous
The Gayly Dose

The Gayly Dose

You know that feeling of love at first sight? You see him. He sees you. And, in that moment, your whole world slows down. He smiles and you feel a jolt of lightning surge through your bones. You have never felt so alive in your life! People say that’s love and I agree. Now that same-sex marriage has been legalized in the U.S., many people are now seeing love and commitment is present in gay couples and we aren’t...

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213.
3 Tips to Overcome a Fear of Commitment
Todd Creager

Todd Creager

Bungee jumping? No problem. Sky diving? Piece of cake. Committing the rest of your adult life to being with and being loyal to one woman? Now that is scary! This is true for many men. We want that commitment (at least on some level), and yet we are terrified of that commitment. What can we do? Here are three tips that could “tip” the scale and help you overcome your fear of commitment. 1. Accept the truth that...

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214.
The Different Types of Open Relationships
Katie B.

Katie B.

I use the term “open relationship” interchangeably with “ethical nonmonogamy,” and I use both terms as an umbrella for all relationship styles that are open, honest and consensual forms of nonmonogamy. Some people think of an “open relationship” as an emotionally monogamous/sexually promiscuous one, but this is just one type of open relationship. So under our umbrella of open relationship styles, we find labels...

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215.
I Think She’s Too Young For Me. What Do You Think?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I am 67 years old. I lost my wife last year and I am interested in finding another. However, there is a 38-year-old woman who wants to marry me. I think she is too young for me. She says age is just a number, but I don't believe that. What do you think? -James (Alabama) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Dear James, You would consider marrying a woman just because she wants to marry you? Wow....

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216.
I’ve Heard Rumors About Her. Do I Run, or Do I Stay?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have been dating a woman for eight months. She is now pregnant with twins. She cheated on me after the first month we were together. I have been hearing "rumors" about her promiscuous relationships she had while she was with her former boyfriend. She tells me this is not true. I don't want to leave her because of my feelings for her and my unborn children, but I don't want to be another guy she...

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217.
We Hit It Off, But Then There Was a Decline. Should I Give It A Shot?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: There is this guy I knew when I was in middle and high school. We started talking again about two years ago (10 years had passed). I found out his wife committed suicide and left him alone with his children. We seemed to hit it off, but then there was a decline. I went back and forth to see him a few times, but I believe there was a strain as we live in different states. We stopped talking for...

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218.
What Do Women Get Out of Open Relationships?
Katie B.

Katie B.

My partner J. and I met during our third week of college. I was 18 and he was 17. You don’t choose when you meet someone you are going to want to spend a long, long time with. Sometimes it just happens when you least expect it. We had an amazing college experience, but it definitely was not a stereotypical one. There weren’t any crazy parties or tons of hookups. We had sex a lot but with each other. At the end of...

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219.
Why You Never Had a Successful Long-Term Relationship in College
Eduard Ezeanu

Eduard Ezeanu

So maybe you're the kind of guy who dated a few girls during college. Maybe you had a few short-term relationships but no successful long-term relationship. And you notice many of your friends are in extended relationships, so you may be wondering: "Why can't I have a relationship?" There are several common reasons why some guys, although actively dating, never had a successful long-term relationship in college, and...

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220.
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

There’s a time and a place for sex, especially if you want to keep a relationship for longer than a couple weeks. So, unless you can check off the following three criteria, prematurely hopping into bed with your partner may ruin your chances of finding committed love. 1. It’s been at least 30 days. This means 30 days of consistent contact (text and email do not count). There should be face time (not the...

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221.
I Have a List of Desirable Traits. Why is it Difficult for Women to Commit?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: Me: 46 years old, African-American male, professional career, homeowner, good looking, 20-year-old son. I date outside of my race. I am in very good shape. It seems as much as women want to have a committed relationship, they don't want to commit to me. I do have a "list" of desirable traits — attractive, able to take care of her finances, a social or nondrinker and someone who is willing and...

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222.
Leon Scott Baxter

Leon Scott Baxter

You want to know the secret to moving from “just dating” your man to “long-term relationship” status? Well, you are not alone. Most of us (men and women) are looking to one day find the love of our lives. We want to settle down and feel security, contentment and comfort from a partner. The thing is, we have to first forge through the beginning stages of our relationship in order to make it to “until death do us...

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223.
Couples Define Marital Commitment in One of Two Ways, Study Finds
C. Price

C. Price

How do couples define marital commitment? A study coming out of UCLA found what saying those vows actually means to the average person. Based on an analysis of 172 married couples over the first 11 years of their marriage, the study’s researchers found couples tend to subscribe to one of two different models for commitment. In the first model, couples liked each other and wanted to continue their relationship. In...

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224.
We Have Different Views on Money. How Do I Get Him to Act His Age?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have been with my boyfriend for close to two years. I’m 21 and he's 27. He makes me laugh and he is good to me, but our views on money are completely different. I am finishing up my last year in school and work 20-30 hours per week. I'm responsible with my money and have quite a bit saved up. He works as a server and he either doesn't make any money or he’s doing something I don't know about....

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225.
I Feel I Should Know if This is Sexually Exclusive. What Do I Do?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have been dating a guy I really like for almost a month now. Last weekend he had a friend that he didn’t offer many details about come and stay with him. We have not discussed being sexually exclusive, but I am not sure if I should approach the question of "Did they or didn’t they?” We have been sexually active together and I feel I should know if this is not exclusive sexually, but I don’t...

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226.
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

I know the deal. You’ve found a great guy. You’ve gone through all the steps and stages to become exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend. Your parents have met. Your friends love him. And you’ve told each other over and over you love each other. So, why hasn’t he proposed? Well, the answer comes down to four possible reasons. It could be one or more. 1. It hasn’t been long enough. Women fall in love much faster...

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227.
I Met a Guy Who Lives in Another Country. Is it Worth Giving it a Shot?
Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Reader Question: Not too long ago I met a guy in a culinary festival. The guy is from the U.S. and was part of a study for a semester program in PR. The thing is we met the last five days of his exchange program and in the little time we spent together, I felt like we connected really well. I ended up liking him very much to the point where I can't stop thinking of him. We have maintained a good communication...

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228.
I’m Not Sure Where Our Relationship is Going. Any Advice?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have been in a relationship for a year and a half, and I’m not sure where it is going. We do things together but only on his terms. I love the guy, but I’m not sure if there is someone else or if he is just using me for a fool. We live an hour apart and he always has excuses not to come to my place. I have never met his family or friends and just thought maybe it would be best if I started...

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229.
We’ve Been Growing Apart. What Do I Do?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. It was great at first. She cooked, she was there all the time, and she showed affection. Then we had a son, who is now five months old. We have been growing apart and stopped having sex. I do a lot for her and my son, but she is now giving me attitude all the time. She said I bother her but wants to be with me. I love her and want to be a...

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230.
We’ve Been Dating a Month. Should I Wait Until He Says He Loves Me?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I met a wonderful man online. We have been seeing each other for a month now. We are intimate. We get along wonderfully. We are 56 and 59. He is a widower of more than a year. Should I just wait until he is ready to say he loves me? -Deb (California) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: I assume your question means you are wondering if you should tell him you love him first because it seems like these...

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231.
Where Can Marriage-Minded Lesbians Go to Get Married?
Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

What’s a marriage-minded lesbian to do when she wants to get married but lives in a place that still discriminates against LGBTQ+ people by keeping their marriages illegal? Do you live somewhere it’s unsafe to be out as a lesbian or be obvious that you are a woman who loves women? Have you encountered heartless licensing officials, pastors, venues, or wedding vendors who refuse to help you marry the woman you...

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232.
I Don’t Know if We’re Serious Enough. What Do I Do?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: This guy and I have been dating for three months, and we already had sexual intercourse. My feelings for him are really deep. We've had some trust issues along the way because I checked his phone. When I questioned him about the other girl, he claims, "Elle, we aren't in a relationship." We practically live together and sleep together all the time. I met his family, but I don't know if he should...

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233.
3 Mistakes Guys Make Early on in a Relationship
Carmelia Ray

Carmelia Ray

In the early stages of a relationship, you may feel a mixture of emotions, ranging from extreme highs like excitement, anticipation and thrill, to extreme lows like insecurity and uncertainty. Being in a new relationship with a great girl can be a lot of fun, but you may also find yourself a bit confused about the things you should be doing or saying while in this early relationship stage. Let me ease your...

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234.
She Doesn’t Want to Label Our Relationship. Should I Wait?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have been dating this woman for 11 months and we consider each other VERY good friends. She does not want to put a title on our relationship. We do have sex and we do tell each other "I love you." We are physically in a relationship, but mentally we are two single beings. I couldn’t ask to be dating a better person — my soul mate. Should I wait and see what happens, or should I begin to explore...

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235.
We Are in an Open Relationship. How Do I Convince Her I Won’t Leave?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I am a transgender. I have a lesbian partner named Jenny, and I have four kids. Jenny knows I am transgender. We are starting to talk marriage, as we have known each other all our lives and lived together for 15 years and waited until the laws changed to get married. But now Jenny is afraid I will fall for someone else and leave her. We have been in an open relationship and agreed to an open...

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236.
Two-thirds of College Students Prefer Traditional Proposals
C. Price

C. Price

Traditional gender roles may be more popular among young people these days than you might think. That’s the news based on a recent study conducted by University of California, Santa Cruz researcher Rachael Robnett. Robnett surveyed 277 of her heterosexual classmates and found two-thirds of them stated they would “definitely” want the man to propose. On the other end of the spectrum, not one participant, male or...

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237.
He Disappears All the Time. Should I Tell Him Not to Contact Me?
David Wygant

David Wygant

Reader Question: Hi David, I'm 60 years old, very healthy, very active, and a very nice lady. I had a very cold marriage for over 30 years. I joined Match.com as soon as I separated, had a couple of dates (they were horrible), and then one popped up. I have dated him off and on for two years. He told me he loves me, but he disappears all the time. I see him for a couple days, and then he's gone for two to three...

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238.
Is Marriage Becoming Extinct?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Lately it seems as though Americans are doing a whole lot of hooking up and cohabitating and a lot less tying the knot. Fewer couples are getting married, and those who do marry are doing so later. What’s going on? Has marriage become old-fashioned and out of date? The D-word. One huge factor that prevents many young couples from getting married is the D-word: Divorce. In a recent study at Cornell University,...

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239.
I Want Clarity On Where We Are Heading. What Should I Do?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: Dating a younger guy 10 years my junior. It’s been nine months and still no title or definition. He just says he cares for me a great deal and thinks of me often. I feel for him but want more clarity on where we are headed, if anywhere at all. What should I do? Give him more time or move on? -Yvette (Virginia) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Dear Yvette, First of all, I admire your patience....

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240.
Is it Dumb to Wish for the Kind of True Love as in the Movies?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: Is it dumb to wish for the kind of true love as in the movies? -Randy (Wisconsin) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Movie love is so tidy, isn’t it? Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl again. Bring up thundering music, zoom in on passionate kiss, fade to happily ever after. Randy, is this really what you want? A simple plot formula designed to inspire hope and stir up a quiet desperate...

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Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor-in-Chief

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.

See Amber's full bio »

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