Let's Talk Commitment (Page 10)

Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor: Lillian Castro

Updated:

They say the first step is the hardest. But that’s not always true in the world of dating. Asking someone on a first date can often feel less daunting than asking for exclusivity.

Our articles focus on the transition from casual dating to exclusive relationships, so daters can transition with confidence. Read about what it takes to form long-term partnerships, strengthen bonds, and date for marriage.

Experts explore and discuss signs of readiness in you and your partner and how to handle the fears that can come with getting serious. Need to know how to discuss labels or plan for the future? We cover that too.

Our advice will help you find all you need to build a foundation that truly lasts, including conflict resolution, boundaries, and intimacy. Learn more from our experts about establishing rock-solid relationships, building trust, and doing the emotional work needed for a real commitment.

324 Results

What Our Experts Say:

271.
Age Matters — Sometimes!
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Age might be "just a number," but our relationships affect more than the present moment and the two lovers. There are practical aspects to sharing our lives that are impacted by age differences in the partners, but are those challenges more important than love? Interracial taboos have all but vanished in most of "polite society," but there is still a stigma attached to some relationships between the older and...

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272.
How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I’m Not Ready for Marriage?
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Well, first of all, did he ask? If he hasn’t proposed or asked for a dowry, then you’re probably freaking out over nothing. But let’s say for argument’s sake that he did ask for your hand in marriage or has been seriously hinting at it. Example, "When do you see us tying the knot?" or "We should totally go to the Eiffel Tower for our five-year anniversary." If this is the case and you know you’re not ready for...

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273.
How Do I Know if She is Someone to Have Children With?
Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Having a child is a huge responsibility, one that requires an incredible amount of work, time and energy — not to mention money and patience! Choosing who you want to have a child with is serious business, and you should be very selective in your process to find the right woman for the job. While there are no hard and fast rules to follow when deciding if someone would make a good mother for your child, there are...

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274.
3 Things to Consider Before Moving in With Your Boyfriend
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Making the decision to move in with your boyfriend isn’t as easy as wanting to share the cost of high-speed Internet or doubling your record collection. The decision comes with a lot of important, life-changing things to consider. Is he a neat freak and you’re a slob? Does he think interior design means felt posters and a black light? It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for six months or six years, there are...

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275.
The Levels of Commitment That Lead to Love
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

It all begins with a glance, a smile and a conversation. Then it becomes a touch, a kiss and an amazing thrill. Eventually, if we’re lucky, it turns into a bond that gives meaning and purpose to our lives in a way that endures through decades of rearing children and sharing the glad and sad adventures of a lifetime. What is the secret potion that can transform a simple smile into years of satisfying and...

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276.
I Kissed an Old Flame. Do I Tell My Current Guy?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I met this guy about two and a half months ago. About a month ago, I asked him if he was seeing anyone else and he said no. I said I was not either. However, since then we haven't really had a "defining the relationship" conversation. Our relationship has become sexual, but I feel short-changed in an emotional sense. I ran into an old flame at a bar, and he ended up walking me home and we...

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277.
I Wasn’t Ready to Say “I Love You.” How Should I Have Handled it?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I had been seeing this guy for about a month and neither of us had used the word love. One night when we were talking on the phone, all of a sudden he said out of nowhere “That’s why I love you." That is not the way I would think you would tell someone for the first time that you love them. I was not sure how I felt myself and I was not ready to say it back to him. Nothing was the same after that...

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278.
Is There Such a Thing as Love at First Sight?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Hollywood loves to spin stories of love at first sight. The plotline of every romance story — Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy finds girl again. — is usually fueled by a love-at-first-sight moment. So what is this phenomenon and can it be real? Men are more visually wired than women. Way back in our hunter/gatherer days, youth and beauty signaled health and fertility in women. And women are more wired to...

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279.
How Senior Men Can Keep a Long-Distance Relationship Strong
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

At a certain point in life, our emotional needs catch up with and often surpass our physical need to be within an arm’s reach of the woman we love. Although long-distance relationships are not optimal, they can work even more comfortably for senior daters than they do for the younger generation. After all, a few decades ago we were driven by our libidos full time, and no mountain was high enough to keep us from...

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280.
How Slow is Too Slow to Progress in a Relationship?
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Things in life that are slow: snails, molasses, an iceberg, the radioactive beta decay of certain isotopes...and sometimes, relationships. In physics, motion is defined as a change in position of an object with respect to time. Now say the object is a relationship, what happens when the motion of the relationship slows down or ceases to move? Is there such a thing as moving too slow — sexually and emotionally —...

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281.
What Do I Do if I Like Two Guys Who Are Different?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: What can I do if I like two guys? Both are different in their own way. I tried to end the relationship with one of them but he said he loves me. I already cheated on one of my exes in the past, and I don’t want to do the same to my new relationship. I don’t know how to end it. -Chanel (California) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: This is always a tough one. You have two perfectly acceptable boyfriends...

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282.
If the Sex is Bad, Do I End the Relationship?
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

If the sex sucks but there is a genuine bond of friendship and compassion, keep working on it. When the sexual passion builds on the foundation of friendship, compassion and real caring for the other person, the relationship is almost always stronger than when the heat of passion leads the way and blinds you to the lack of depth in the underlying bond. Great sex is the cement that holds it all together, but it is...

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283.
How Long Should it Take for Men to Know They Want to Be Exclusive?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: How long when you’re dating someone should it take for them to know if they want to make it an exclusive relationship? -Blanca R. (Rhode Island) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Sounds like you know you’re ready for exclusivity before your man is. Join the club, girlfriend. Most women are ready before their boyfriend is. It’s not about the length of time, as much as the level of life integration,...

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284.
Why Some Men Need Sex Before Commitment
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Clearly we are in a high-supply sexual economy where men can attempt to obtain sex without a promise to share anything past their germs and where women are exposing their bloodstreams and eggs to men whom they don’t trust enough to water their plants while they are out of town. But why do some men (and women) believe sex is necessary before a commitment? They believe a few myths of sexuality. 1. Sexual chemistry...

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285.
How to Date a Widower
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

In the 1930s, University of Pennsylvania sociologist Ray H. Abrams identified a typical time frame in which widowers remarry. It’s an accepted average to this day. Using "Who's Who in America," Abrams compared the date of the first wife's death and the date of the second marriage for 1,300 men. He found the average length of time between marriages was about two and a half years. Of course, this time span...

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286.
How to Balance Your Girl with Your Social Life
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Our love relationships add a new and wonderful dimension to our lives. Work and sleep are pretty much set in stone in the schedules of our daily lives, so the only way to make room for romance is by sacrificing a bit of our social and family life. The key to a happy relationship (and a happy man) is to balance our discretionary time in a way that works for everyone. 1. Fit your relationship into your life. Your...

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287.
How to Get a Bachelor to Settle Down
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

If you want to get a cowboy to retire from the rodeo, you buy him a ranch. If you want to get a chef to retire from the restaurant business, you build him a state-of-the-art kitchen and bring the whole family over for dinner every Sunday. If you want to get a confirmed bachelor to settle down and get married, you offer him a life too good to refuse. There are basically three things that make a man reject the...

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288.
Relationship Advice to Our Deploying Troops
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

(Note: Besides being America’s relationship expert, I am a Navy brat and grew up on bases. I know in a deeply personal way how traumatic the longing for a loved one can be.) It’s important to remember that our love relationships are crucial to our emotional well-being but they can also bring upset when things go wrong and the distance makes repair seem impossible. But there are things you can do before you...

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289.
How Gay Men Can Introduce a Date to the Family
Sam Stieler

Sam Stieler

Introducing one of your dates to your family and friends is a big deal, and it is certainly worth getting excited about. After all, it isn’t that common you meet someone you want to actually get to know beyond date number two, let alone someone you want to actually bring around the people you care most about. Introducing a man to your friends and family essentially sends a big signal that you expect and want this...

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290.
I’m Not Dating Anyone Else. Does He Assume We’re Exclusive?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I met a guy last year and we've been casual friends (and only friends). We started talking daily and he told me that he hasn't stopped thinking about me since we met. We've been out at least once a week and I've met his parents. He keeps talking about future plans, so I'm not sure when to have "the talk." Does he just assume that we're exclusive? I'm not dating anyone else and to the best of my...

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291.
How Do I Get Him to Pop the Question?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: How do I get him to pop the question? -Christina (Maryland) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Newsflash ladies! Women can’t GET a man to do anything. He has to come to that decision by himself. But you can affect the things that help him make the decision. If you are giving him a maintenance-free relationship complete with sex and playing-house together, he has absolutely no motivation to get...

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292.
The 7 Phases of Commitment
Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Just like every other human process, romantic relationships follow a certain chronological course and evolve in complexity. There are various phases of commitment during the progression of a relationship, each identified by certain markers. As with everything else in matters related to the heart, every couple is different. This means there is no definite timeline, no hard and fast rules and no...

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293.
The Pros and Cons of Living with Your Girlfriend
Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

While there are many conservatives who completely disagree with a man and a woman living together before marriage, I am not one of them. I believe living together before marriage is a must as part of the evolution of a relationship. Upon realizing the woman in your life is now nothing more than an annoying and obnoxious roommate, you can walk away from the relationship without the devastation and...

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294.
When is the Right Time to Get Married?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Fifty years ago, there would be no question of when is the right time to get married. If you were over 18, had met a man and fallen in love, the next customary step would be a walk down the aisle. This was one of the ways to insure regular sex and economic prosperity that comes with combined resources and clear delineation of gender roles. But today, men and women have many options: They can date, cohabit, focus...

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295.
When to Meet Your Girlfriend’s Parents
Sam Stieler

Sam Stieler

Meeting your girlfriend’s parents marks a momentous milestone in your relationship. Meeting your girlfriend’s parents sends a very clear signal that you take this woman seriously and that, even if you aren’t thinking about marriage right now, you are ready to start feeling like some small part of her family. Not only will forming a relationship with your girlfriend’s parents change how you approach your...

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296.
Do Long-Distance Relationships Ever Work Out?
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Long-distance relationships are becoming more common these days. There's even a name for it, LDR couples, as well as websites dedicated to those in a long-distance relationship. Lovingfromadistance.com is one such site. It offers advice, activities for LDR couples to do, merchandise and even free printable stationery. Back in the days of the Pony Express, I would be a lot less inclined to say that long-distance...

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297.
Am I Wasting My Time, or Am I Expecting Too Much Too Soon?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I've been dating this guy for about three months now. I think I made the mistake of sleeping with him after just one month because we really hit it off. Ever since then, he has started to pull away. Sometimes I try to pull away and be busy, which works with him, but it may only last less than a week. I've realized I've also been acting "needy" by questioning him about things, such as not...

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298.
What Does it Mean if She Has to Think About My Marriage Proposal?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: What does it mean when a girl doesn’t want to lose you but when you propose, she says she has to think about it? Her friends say it's because she is leaving for basic training. -Charles W. (Georgia) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: It means exactly what she says. She loves you. She’s attached to you. And she’s afraid to be without you. But she also knows her life is about to undergo a big change...

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299.
How to Know if it’s Love or Lust
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Love and lust are not feelings that are exclusive of one another. In fact, the best relationships have both passion and compassion, tenderness and heat, making love and having sex. For us men, it is usually the lust that comes first, and if she is the right woman for us, she will magically transform it into love. Still, there are times we just aren’t sure if we truly love her or if we are just in it for the...

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300.
10 Tips for Meeting Her Parents
Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Meeting the parents is a major event, especially if you’re madly in love with the woman in your life and you’re starting to see her as potential wife material. If you’re experiencing some anxiety and apprehension about your first rendezvous with her folks, don’t be alarmed. Feeling nervous about meeting mom and dad is completely normal. After all, this is a big step in your relationship. Sure, you should take...

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Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor-in-Chief

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.

See Amber's full bio »

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