Let's Talk Commitment (Page 9)

Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor: Lillian Castro

Updated:

They say the first step is the hardest. But that’s not always true in the world of dating. Asking someone on a first date can often feel less daunting than asking for exclusivity.

Our articles focus on the transition from casual dating to exclusive relationships, so daters can transition with confidence. Read about what it takes to form long-term partnerships, strengthen bonds, and date for marriage.

Experts explore and discuss signs of readiness in you and your partner and how to handle the fears that can come with getting serious. Need to know how to discuss labels or plan for the future? We cover that too.

Our advice will help you find all you need to build a foundation that truly lasts, including conflict resolution, boundaries, and intimacy. Learn more from our experts about establishing rock-solid relationships, building trust, and doing the emotional work needed for a real commitment.

324 Results

What Our Experts Say:

241.
I’ve Become Close to Another Guy. How Do I Know Who is Right for Me?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have been dating my current boyfriend for four years and was pretty happy with our relationship. Recently I have become really close to this other guy who is a friend. I constantly talk and think about him. I know we both share feelings for each other, but neither of us has fully admitted to it because we know I am in a relationship already and that I still love and have feelings for my current...

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242.
4 Things Not to Say at the Thanksgiving Table
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Thanksgiving is a time for giving thanks, gorging on turkey and sides and, if you’re in my family, getting into heated religious and political debates until you want to stab someone with the meat thermometer. All kidding aside, Thanksgiving can be either a time to shine or a time where everyone leaves the dinner table whispering “It’s never gonna last” for new couples For women going to their boyfriend’s...

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243.
How to Introduce Your Senior Mate to Family During Holidays
April Braswell

April Braswell

With Thanksgiving opening up the November and December holiday season, if you’re a senior single with a new beau or lady friend on your arm, you are facing the modern dating dilemma of mature singles, that quandary of how to introduce your new senior mate to your family this holiday season. Forget the logistics of divorce diplomacy and whose house you are visiting for the meal. That is its own challenge for...

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244.
What to Do if You Don’t Want to Get Remarried
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

Women get married for a variety of reasons: religion, love, kids, money, stability, tax breaks — the list goes on and on. But for women over 50 who are widowed or divorced, getting remarried isn’t necessarily on the top of their bucket list. What should a senior woman do if she doesn’t want to get remarried? Let’s look at three important questions and shine a little light on how a woman over 50 should deal with...

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245.
We Haven’t Defined the Relationship. What’s Your Advice?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have spent the night with the same girl for multiple weekends in a row. I called her this week and she told me she was putting makeup on to go out to have a drink of wine with another guy, but she insisted it was casual. She then sends a text asking if my feelings were hurt because she was going out with another guy. She has made a few statements here and there about how our relationship hasn’t...

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246.
He Never Wanted Commitment. Can a Person Pretend to Like You?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I dated a guy for seven years and we did everything together. He cooked for me, bought me gifts, took me to his country, but we've never actually said we were dating. When I asked him about it, he said he had no feelings for me, nor did he ever have any intentions of a commitment with me. That was six months ago and I have not heard anything. Is it possible for a person to pretend they even...

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247.
How to Spot Long-Term Potential Online
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Most men don’t have a clue about what women really want in a man. It’s no wonder then that their partially-filled-out online dating profiles don’t usually give a woman a clear idea of what she really wants to know. And the longer they’ve been away from the dating scene, the worse it can be. So, how can a senior lady spot the men who are looking for the kind of long-term committed relationship that she...

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248.
Lesbians, Listen Up: Two Dates Does Not Mean We’re a Couple
Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Are you listening to this? Two dates doesn’t mean we’re a couple! That’s way too soon, even if the sex is great. It’s was too early to consider yourself attached to someone, who honestly, gay girls, is an almost total stranger. Now she might be the hottest stranger you’ve been able to get two dates with in a long time. She might be the nicest, kindest and gentlest woman you’ve spent a few hours with in...

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249.
Study: Oxytocin Encourages Men in Relationships to be More Faithful
C. Price

C. Price

There are a lot of theories as to what the key to a long-lasting, exclusive romance is--trust, open and honest communication, mind-blowing sex. But maybe it could be as simple as the presence of a little molecule known as oxytocin. A study published in the Journal of Neuroscience indicates giving men in relationships a dose of the “trust hormone,” oxytocin, causes them to physically avoid unknown, attractive women....

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250.
How to Tell Him You Want to Be Exclusive
Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford

You’ve met the guy of your dreams. You want to be exclusive, but you don’t know if he does. OK, the "exclusive" conversation can be as loaded as a double-barrel shotgun. Before you have it, consider what your definition of exclusive actually is. Are you expecting to move in together? A ring on your finger? A joint mortgage? These may all be questions that bubble up from having the conversation. Have your answers,...

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251.
When Should You Leave Your Toothbrush at His Place?
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Dating is a game of give and take. At first look, women often seem to be the “givers” and men the “takers.” But, upon closer examination, the truth is revealed. Women are the masterminds in the windowless white van offering candy to their weak and gullible prey. In the short term, of course, men often turn the tables and steal the candy before the woman gets what she really wants — a relationship. But the...

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252.
Why Married Women Drink More Than Their Single Counterparts
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Marriage has long been known to curb men’s drinking, but new research reveals the opposite is true for married women. A walk down the aisle may make a woman more likely to drink alcohol. But it’s not because she’s unhappy. Why do women who’ve tied the knot drink more than their single, divorced or widowed counterparts? According to Corinne Reczek, the lead sociologist of the new study, women are more likely to...

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253.
How Do I Get a Guy to Commit?
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Guys fall in love very differently than women, and commitment is a totally different proposition for them. You cannot nag or guilt a man into committing — at least, not if you want the commitment to be healthy and lasting. Just give him all the rope he needs and let him decide when it’s time to hang himself. For men, love is initially something beautiful that happens between the sheets. He will not realize that he...

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254.
Pre-Wedding Jitters: Cold Feet or Serious Red Flag?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

It used to be assumed that everyone has doubts just before walking up the aisle. I mean, who wouldn’t get a bout of the shakes at a life change that involves every aspect of oneself - your home, your social life, your sex life and your money! But is nervousness about marriage a serious warning sign? Apparently, the answer is yes. A new study out of the University of California, Los Angeles, and published in the...

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255.
How Do You Know He is “The One” to Settle Down With?
Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been searching for "The One" since you were old enough to date. You probably developed a checklist, a physical description and a number of other criteria that would help you identify Mr. Right when he came along. If you’re in a relationship and you believe you may very well have met the man of your dreams, you’ve probably begun considering the idea of settling down with...

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256.
How to Tell a Senior Woman You Want to Be Exclusive
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

That “fear of commitment” you probably felt as a younger man has been replaced by a warm confidence and perhaps even some excitement about getting emotionally involved with that fabulous mature woman you’ve been dating. The thing is, this time around, she is more likely to be the one with cold feet when it comes to taking things up one level. Exclusivity is not a total commitment, like getting engaged. But it is...

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257.
How to Improve Your Marriage
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Let’s face it, guys. Sometimes it feels like a success when we can have a conversation of three sentences with the wife without it turning into an argument. Needless to say, that’s not optimal. I know. You would rather stick needles in your eyes than sit down and try to discuss things with her. Talking about “feelings” and “needs” is just code for letting her rip you a new one in the nicest kind of way, and she...

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258.
How Do I Get Over My Fear of Commitment?
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

If you’ve read any Anne Rice vampire novels, you might get a better understanding of how men deal with commitment. It’s much like the way they turn into vampires. Once they are bitten (in this case, by love), they go into a cold sweat and begin to get nauseous. They try to resist the force that is overtaking them, but the power of love is just too strong. This continues until they have gotten rid of all their...

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259.
How to Get Her to Change Her Relationship Status
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

When you’re in a new relationship and a woman still hasn’t changed her online relationship status, how do you deal with that? Should you even care? And if you do care, should you say something to her? According to an article posted on USAtoday.com earlier this year, writer Steve Wood explains, “In the age of social networking, many don't consider relationships real until Facebook tells them so. Known as 'Facebook...

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260.
How to Avoid Temptation When You Have a Girlfriend
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Young men spend most of their time looking for ways to find and mingle with temptation and will do just about anything to get lucky with a pretty girl. So, if you’re looking for ways to avoid temptation, that means you have found a special lady, and you don’t want to ruin things with her by “accidentally” making love to another woman. That should be manageable, if you really care for your girlfriend. A little...

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261.
What to Do When She Likes You More
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

We all went through it in high school and junior high. While we were hopelessly crushing on the head cheerleader, there was always some not-so-blossomed young girl in glasses and braces waiting to say "hi" to us as we were leaving social studies. We didn’t really know what it was about our scrawny bones that infatuated her so much and caused her to stalk us with her wide-eyed beaming smile and dedicated attention....

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262.
He is Not Affectionate. Why Does He Act Like This?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: He is not affectionate and never kisses me. We have been together for five years on and off. In between, we dated others and we go back to each other. He does not talk about love or commitment but is always with me. I am holding back until I find somebody else. Why does he act like this? Is he emotionally unstable? -Marta (Virginia) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: It sounds like you two are...

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263.
Is 15 Years Too Much of an Age Difference?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: Is 15 years and 10 months too much of an age difference for a man and woman to marry (the man 77, woman 61)? -Bill (South Carolina) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Nope. Marry her. Congratulations. No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining...

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264.
5 Signs You’re Not Ready for a Relationship
Bethany Heinesh

Bethany Heinesh

Women often search desperately for a boyfriend but rarely stop to ask themselves if they are actually ready to be in a new relationship. For whatever reason, women have been taught they are not complete if they are flying solo, believing there must be something wrong with them if they don’t have a man on their arm. Before you hurry off looking for a relationship for all the wrong reasons, there a few things you...

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265.
I Have Feelings for a Friend. Should We Try it Out?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I am really close friends with this guy. He told me he has feelings for me. I told him I have feelings for him also. He told me it’s my decision on what we should do, but I do not know what to do. Should we stay close friends for now, try it out or go on a few dates as friends first? -Jamillah C. (Florida) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: You’re doing it. Friendship should come first. Stay close...

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266.
3 Things to Consider Before Moving in With Your Girlfriend
Sam Stieler

Sam Stieler

Thinking about moving in with your girlfriend, eh? Deciding to live with your woman can be the best, or the worst, decision you’ve ever made, depending almost entirely on how well you’ve thought it all through. Here are a few points of consideration you need to thoroughly entertain before taking the plunge and boxing up your things. Why are you moving in together? There are some good and bad reasons for deciding...

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267.
How to Prepare Yourself for Marriage
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Marriage is the most important step you will take in your life, even more important and binding than your career choice. The partner you choose is immensely important, but the way you approach the commitment of marriage is even more important in creating a happy and fulfilling life. Always remember that happiness is not something you "find," but rather it's something you build together as a couple, brick by brick....

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268.
He’s Going Into the Air Force. How Do We Spend Our Time?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and half now. He is about to go into the Air Force and I don't know how to take it. His family is trying to keep him at home and away from me. I don't know if he realizes it or not, but it kind of hurts my feelings. I'm not trying to come between his family, but this is my last year with him and I want to spend it the best way I can. -Georgia A....

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269.
Why People Date Outside Their League
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

As humans, we have evolved to compete. Indeed, we compete for everything from jobs to parking spots. But perhaps the biggest competition we face is in the race for the best mate. Of course, the "best" mate means different things to each gender. Men tend to prefer youth and beauty while women are attracted to the breadwinners. This makes sense when you consider the "survival of the fittest" mantra of...

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270.
Should I Pick My Friends Over My Girlfriend?
Kara Pound

Kara Pound

This is by no means a black and white topic. There are hundreds of variables that come into play when answering this type of question. Let's look at two of them: one where you should choose your girlfriend and one where you should choose your buddies. Example A: If your girlfriend is one step from becoming your fiance, then you should always choose her. I mean, you plan on spending every day together for the rest...

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Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor-in-Chief

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.

See Amber's full bio »

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