Let's Talk Red Flags (Page 4)

Reader Question: I saw a girl on a rock music-themed dating site and it had a link to her Facebook page, which said where she works. I drove to her job in Arizona from New York to ask her out. I never messaged her on the dating site. I just wanted to meet her in person and try the old-fashioned way. I went in to see her the first time, complimented her, flirted a bit, asked her favorite color and left. She...

The other day was a sad day. I discovered a friend of a friend’s husband on a dating site. While I don’t know them well enough to know the nature of his relationship, he’s very much a married man not doing a very good job trying to get away with something sneaky. But he's not the first married man to join a dating site and not the last. A lot of women find out too late that their online sweetie is a man who’s...

Reader Question: My best friend and I decided to tell each other how we feel and we had sex. He told me he wanted to have a relationship in the future but now he doesn't. He said he really cares for me and he sees me as his wife and mother to his kids. Should I be worried about him not wanting to be with me now? -Stephanie Gina Stewart's Answer: This guy didn’t just sleep with you. He mind-fucked you. It's...

When I first began dating after my divorce, I met "John" on an online dating site. We had a great first phone conversation, discovering we shared many common interests and a similar outlook on life. He set up our first date for two weeks away. I couldn’t wait! I got a bad feeling in my gut when John didn’t reply to my email (claimed to have never received it) and didn’t call when he said he would (another excuse)....

Reader Question: I have been seeing a man casually for a year. He never makes any mention of any kind of commitment and watches what he says very carefully. He claims he is ADHD and feels more comfortable in his own house, so I always have to go to his his if we see each other. He always initiates sex. I have called him on this and he says it's not about the sex. Am I getting totally used? -Terry (New...

Do you ever get that sick feeling when you start doubting your relationship — new or old? The obvious solution is to start looking for changes in her behavior, but behaviors can change for all kinds of reasons. Looking for a date who'll show interest in you? Test out Match.com for free today — it's our experts' top pick! Here are 10 specific changes to watch out for that can tell you this person is definitely...

“The capacity of passion is both cruel and divine." ~George Sand Many relationships that begin like an out-of-control, raging forest fire can smolder down to nothing but smoke and ashes with alarming speed. Despite this observation, there is something so exhilarating about the fast-paced, intensely passionate, sweep-you-off-your-feet kind of romance that makes it almost impossible to resist. It’s exciting to have...

Reader Question: I met this guy online and we hung out a few times. The last time we hung out, he got pretty drunk. I'm not a partier and that night drew up some red flags. He text me "Hi, stranger" and I reply with a simple "Hey," as I didn't want to be rude by just blowing him off. Shortly after I reply, he posts on Facebook a status about "I'm tired of all these girls. Aren't there any women left here?" I...

Reader Question: I am 57 and dating a 64-year-old man. After four months, I am finding out slowly he is a financial train wreck. My financial adviser informed me this man would have to work until age 74 and stop giving to his three children to save even a small amount for his retirement. I wanted someone I could travel with and enjoy my retirement. What should I do? -S. Devine (Indiana) April Braswell's...

"He hurt me really bad, and it was such a rough breakup.” "Well, my ex used to always do it this way Don't you hate when you meet someone new and the only thing she can seem to talk about is her ex or compare you to him? I can hear you thinking, "Well, if you have an icebox instead of a heart because of your ex, then why are you dating me?" or  "If your ex did it so great, why exactly is he your ex?" This is the...

For the guys out there reading this, I apologize in advance because your ego is about to get the one-two punch. Fellas, I hate to tell you but when a girl goes cold, it generally means you f****d up. She might give you the old “It's not you. It's me” line, or she might tell you she got back together with her ex. Do not be fooled. It is about you, dude. I guarantee you did something to turn her off or scare her...

I recently wrote an article discussing what to do after the object of your affection crushes your heart. Now I am going to dive in and talk about ways to see the warning signs before things get to this point. I am going to discuss how to look for the character flaws, psychological traits and common social behaviors of women likely to be loose and promiscuous. No matter how you meet the women you date, you always...

So, you and that new guy you are seeing are in the early stages of dating? Or maybe you have been dating for a while now and are on the cusp of making things official by calling each other partners. Your heart is invested in your budding relationship and you want to make this work. You fantasize about what a committed partnership would look like with him. You know you want to take things to the next level, but...

Everyone has qualities and attributes that will annoy others. There is simply no denying that fact. Trying to find a man or woman who does not have bad habits will likely have you searching until the end of time for a partner. While some of these bad habits may seem manageable and downright negligible on a first date, be careful what you choose to ignore. Things that do not bother us at all on a first date may...

Are you crazy in love with your new girlfriend, but she won't stop talking about her ex? The woman might be telling you everything, from calling the ex crazy, to saying she is not sure she is over her ex. Or she might be saying her ex girlfriend is better than you in just about every way. Are you crazy to want to stay with her? The short and simple answer is yes. You need to step back and think about this...

“If it’s a red flag while you are dating, it turns into a billboard sign after you get married.” These wise words are from one of my clients who just got divorced. My work puts me into the unique position of 20/20 hindsight on dating mistakes that may lead you right into divorce court. So many of the women I work with tell me there were signs that they were with the wrong guy, but they ignored the signs in either...

From Leonardo DiCaprio to Dane Cook, it seems like you see a lot of older men in Hollywood dating younger women. But not marrying them. People like to say it's the "older man, younger woman" syndrome. The younger woman gets sick of the older man and ends the relationship. The older man realizes the younger woman is approaching her 30th birthday and bounces. Really? Do you have anything else better to report about?...

Single ladies, we may not have ever uttered the words aloud, but we have asked ourselves the question time and time again: "Why can't I find (or keep) a man?" Many of us have come up with the answer: "Because all the good men are taken." Is that REALLY our excuse? If we were being honest with ourselves and took a moment to evaluate our past relationships, many times it was US and not him that caused the relationship...

There was a man who wrote something startling on my Facebook page. It was a comment in response to a blog about anger and domestic violence, I think. He seemed to imply male anger was often women’s fault. That his girlfriends had “made him mad.” After an unfair comment stream attack by some of my other zero-tolerance followers, I thought more about this man’s statement. Sometimes it does feel like an intimate...

Reader Question: I’ve been seeing this girl off and on for three years. At first it was all good, but then the jealousy started. She has kids that are not mine, but I love them as if they were mine. I even gave up my daughter for her and her kids. She says she loves me more than I’ll ever know, but she asks me to leave and never come back. I do leave for a month or two, but then she will say she missed me...

I remember years ago having a third date with a woman I really liked. We’d met a couple of weeks before. We had been to dinner and the movies and talked on the phone several times. Everything was going well and it appeared the relationship had lots of potential, considering the short period I’d known her. However, after entering her doorway, I started noticing some rather bizarre features barreling toward...

Reader Question: This guy and I have been dating for almost a year. We have patches of really good times and times where we constantly fight. He makes me feel very low about myself and I’m weary if I can trust him. We have been on a break for about two weeks now and he says he has changed. I have met this new guy and he's really nice and sweet. He knows about my situation and is sticking around, but I don't...

Much of the writing I do is aimed at women who have a difficult time discerning commitment-oriented men from predatory dudes who only want to obtain sex. But every so often I get emails from men who tell me horror stories about women who seem to “play” them. When women act as dating predators, they are often looking to extract something other than sex. They might be looking for resources, an ego trip or a notch in...

He sits on his ass. He plays a mediocre video game for two hours straight. He picks his ear. He smokes from his bong. Then he turns on Netflix. Meanwhile, you’ve been sitting next to him on the couch this whole time – having a threesome with Beyoncé and Paris Hilton. Did he notice you? If this sounds like a typical Saturday afternoon with your man, then you both need to get your priorities straight because it...

Your relationship has been going well for the past few weeks, but you probably catch yourself wondering, "Where is this relationship going? Will we still be together in a year?" It would be nice if there was a way for you to know whether you finally met “The One” or merely “one of many.” Until someone invents a relationship crystal ball (Apple should really get on that), you either have to figure it out for...

Reader Question: I’m dating a man who is 11 years older than me. I’m 23. We have been dealing with each other for a year and six months, and he claims I’m the only girl he’s dealing with. He doesn’t want a relationship because he’s trying to build a foundation and get life situated. Recently I found out about a girl through a social network. He claims she’s an old girl he used to mess with. She comments on his...

Reader Question: I met this guy in December from Plenty of Fish. What felt like six months in a relationship was in fact only a month and a half. He has asked me to marry him and I said yes. Now I've noticed he doesn't greet me at the door when I come over. He has made comments like, "I'm bringing the house into the relationship. What are you bringing?” I had started bringing some boxes of stuff over, but he...

Reader Question: I met this wonderful woman. We fell in love and things were wonderful. Eventually she and her son moved in with me and my son. I texted another woman who was just a platonic friend. When she saw I texted another woman, she freaked out. She stayed in my back bedroom for an entire week and refused to let me talk to her. She then dropped the “Let’s just be friends” bomb on me. She still lives...

Have you ever dated a guy and found yourself confused about your relationship status? And every time you attempted to clarify things, you were met with a confusing commentary about "not putting labels on the relationship"? Sounds a lot like Bella and Jacob in the "Twilight" saga, right? Here’s the truth: If I cast YOU in the movie "Twilight," you would be Jacob! Yes, you are very appealing and incredibly sexy, but...

I’m a big fan of Jack Nicholson. His roles have included some of the most memorable characters in movie history. He’s played everything from the Joker in "Batman" to the possessed writer in “The Shining” to a harsh colonel in “A Few Good Men.” But one of my favorite roles was his younger-woman-loving character in “Something’s Gotta Give” with Diane Keaton. He loved their allure, attitude and looks, but eventually...