Let's Talk Red Flags (Page 5)

Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor: Lillian Castro

Updated:

“I love spotting red flags,” said no one ever. So we want to help you spot them early in dating or relationships. That way, you won’t waste your precious time on the wrong someone.

Whether you just started texting someone, are going on a first date, or are months into a relationship that just feels off, we have the tools to help you spot the warning signs or troubling behavior you may be missing.

To be frank, red flags can be sneaky little things and hard to detect, especially if you’re really digging someone. So let us be your barometer.

Read about common red flags, such as love bombing and gaslighting, so you can understand what they are and how they appear. In no time, you’ll learn to identify toxic patterns and red flags in real time, as well as how to take action with confidence. We did the research, so you can kick bad dates to the curb.

188 Results

What Our Experts Say:

121.
Real-Life Peter Pans: Dating Men Versus Boys
Sherri Murphy & Shena Schmidt

Sherri Murphy & Shena Schmidt

The universal rule in matchmaking that should be applied to dating is there is no universal rule -- no one-size-fits-all imperative that is relevant to each unique individual. Everyone inside or outside of a reliable dating service should be given their fair shot, but it takes a methodical, organic unveiling in due time to really understand the person you are dating. Sometimes a dating profile on a...

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122.
I’m in Love with a Man Who Doesn’t Want a Relationship. What Do I Do?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I've fallen in love with a man that does not want to be in a relationship. We separated for a while, but lately I started to ask him out. We went out once and had a great time. We were intimate. Then I saw a pic of an ex-lover in his truck. I called him on it and he went back to the "I don't want to have to answer to anyone" routine. I thought if I took things VERY slow and gave him lots of...

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123.
Do You Date Like Taylor Swift?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Pop star Taylor Swift has a red-hot career, but it seems the media would rather focus on her string of famous boyfriends and her many heartbreaks. So what's going on with Taylor? And what can the rest of us learn from her many losses in the love wars? Taylor shares something many average women face: Difficulty in finding a peer relationship. With more women in the workforce and single, childless 20-somethings...

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124.
Guy Rule #73: Know How to Handle Your Liquor
David Wygant

David Wygant

I get a kick every single time I read about another celebrity's romantic mishaps with the law. Take this for example. I read Reese Witherspoon and her agent husband were pulled over by Atlanta police drunk, droopy-eyed and sad. She got defiant. She was being interrogated by the cops for her husband drinking and driving, and then she threw out the classic celebrity line: "Do you know who I am?!" If I was an officer...

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125.
Is Amanda Bynes Losing it? What to Do When Your Girlfriend Acts Crazy
Jordan Harbinger

Jordan Harbinger

The internet was abuzz with Amanda Bynes' most recent and perhaps most troubling selfie. I won’t wade into whether or not I think this is real or she’s just trolling the entire Internet. I’d rather talk about what you can do if your girlfriend starts acting crazy. When I say “crazy,” I mean certifiably mentally ill. I'm not talking about her doing the types of things women normally do that men don’t...

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126.
I’ve Been Secretly Seeing My Boss. Can You Help Me?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I have been secretly seeing my boss at work. He says he's 100 percent single. We went on an incredible first date. I found out he's really controlling, though. He's really insecure and he has trust issues. After our date, we both felt really strange that there was such a deep connection, so we decided to take it further. We kissed and then we slept together. After that, he told me he wants...

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127.
The Dating Red Flag
David Wygant

David Wygant

You're dating a woman. Everything seems perfect. You start confessing how you feel. She tells you about how much you mean to her. She says all the right things. You reach out to her when she really needs you the most. You take time away from work to call her up and make sure she's OK when she's having a really bad day. Then all of sudden, you've got something heavy happening in your life. You explain it to her. You...

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128.
Online Daters Still Fall for Scams Even When Suspicious
C. Price

C. Price

A study sheds light on online dating scams and the responsibilities of dating companies. Conducted by Monica Whitty, with the University of Leicester, and Tom Buchanan, with the University of Westminster, the study found even when victims felt suspicious when an online match asked for money, they still fulfilled the request. Researchers said since 2007, nearly 230,000 individuals in the U.K. have been the victim of...

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129.
I Meet A Lot of Widowers. Do Guys Date Too Soon After They Lose Their Spouse?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: In my age group, I am meeting and dating about 50 percent widowed guys. Several of them have lied to me about how long ago their wife passed, and ultimately it evolves into nonstop talking about their deceased. I finally had to tell a man the constant talking about his wife had to stop. I never heard from him again. Do guys get into dating too soon after they lose their spouse? How soon is too...

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130.
Are You Dating a Cheater?
Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford

Recently I have had lots of correspondence from guys who have accidentally got involved with men who are either married or partnered. This is a common issue, and it's something I’ve encountered in my own dating past. The world is full of cheaters - unfaithful men are found the world over - but don't tar every man with the same brush. There are still some excellent guys around, and I'm sure you are one of them. So,...

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131.
How to Spot a Bad Boy
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

One of life’s greatest mysteries: Do bad boys ever change? Sadly, most of them do not. Your best bet is probably to steer clear of bad boys before they reproduce. Here are five red flags, characteristic of most bad boys: 1. He has a lot of angry ex-girlfriends. If there are several women in his past who are still angry and have hostile feelings toward a guy, and he’s willing to share about it, RUN! He clearly...

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132.
He’s “Dating” Another Girl. Do I Give Him an Ultimatum?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I met a guy online who lives 500 miles away. He's 34 and I'm 53. He did tell me he had a girl he dated "locally" and that he was just on the site looking for friends. Three months later we realized we have feelings for each other. Meanwhile, he still indicates he's having issues with his girlfriend, who is not someone he's "dating" locally. He’s living with her and they've been together for four...

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133.
When I’m Upset, He Gets Nasty. Is it a Bad Sign?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I am a young 69-year-old who two years ago ended a 46-year marriage. Ten months ago, I started a relationship with a 74-year-old man. When he feels any slight indication I may be upset about something he says or does, he bolts and gets a little nasty. He writes notes that we need to apart but he still would like to see me once in a while or maybe we could be friends. Is it a bad sign? -Judith...

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134.
Are You Dating a Psychopath?
Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford

Are you dating a psychopath? And by that, I'm not referring to a fear of your loved one parting the shower curtain with a butcher's knife. One definition of a psychopath is “a person suffering from a chronic mental disorder with abnormal social behavior.” As with any mental illness, it can be hard to diagnose. It’s not as though it is displayed with any physical tells like a limp, twitch or anything immediately...

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135.
She Has Feelings for a Guy Friend. Do I Ignore This Problem?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: This is the second time my girlfriend and I have broken up because of feelings for another man. After seeing a message between her and a friend, I discovered she has strong emotions for her guy friend. She said she thinks she's only with me because she knows she doesn't have a chance with him. Do I ignore this problem and hope she loses feelings for her friend, or do I move on? -Andrew (New...

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136.
The Manti Te’o Story: How Can You Avoid Getting Duped Online?
Julie Spira

Julie Spira

If you’ve been following the Manti Te’o story, you’re probably wondering how the Heisman Trophy runner-up could have been duped in an Internet dating hoax. When the story broke on Wednesday, I was attending the Internet Dating Conference. My phone rang for several days with questions from both the media and online daters asking how such a thing could happen. Was it a hoax, or was he in on it? How can a person who...

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137.
5 Warnings for New Online Daters
Gina Stewart

Gina Stewart

My last article was intended to point new online daters in the direction of exploring a dating site that meets their relationship goals. Before you go all-in, you need to know online dating isn't just commercials of caressing couples and engagement dates. Here are the five warnings to make you a smarter online dater: 1. Spammers. Did you just start the initial sign-in process and find your inbox is cascading with...

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138.
Dating Relationship Re-enactments
Brian Rzepczynski

Brian Rzepczynski

Have you struggled in your efforts to snag a decent, quality guy for a dating relationship? Do you tend to be drawn to the same types of men over and over and become frustrated when they disappoint or when it doesn’t materialize into a satisfying long-term arrangement? This is a very common phenomenon in dating difficulties, and it can become very easy to place the focus on the “other guy” for the reason behind a...

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139.
I Think She’s Cheating on Me. Can You Help?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: I've been dating a woman for about two years (we're both in our 40s) and everything else is great, except I think she's cheating on me. I live and work about four hours away and can only get together with her about half of the days each month. When her clothes came out of the dryer, they included a pair of sexy, lacy panties, which she's never worn when I'm around. She's disabled the personal...

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140.
I’m in a Relationship with a 36-Year-Old Man. Is That Wrong?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Questions: I am 18 years old and I am in a "relationship" with a 36-year-old man. I say "relationship" because he and I do have a large age gap, and we are afraid of my family’s reaction. He has his own place and his own career, and he knows I am just starting out and is supportive of me in every way. We just fear what my family might think, considering he also just emigrated from Turkey six years ago. Is...

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141.
He Disappears All the Time. Should I Tell Him Not to Contact Me?
David Wygant

David Wygant

Reader Question: Hi David, I'm 60 years old, very healthy, very active, and a very nice lady. I had a very cold marriage for over 30 years. I joined Match.com as soon as I separated, had a couple of dates (they were horrible), and then one popped up. I have dated him off and on for two years. He told me he loves me, but he disappears all the time. I see him for a couple days, and then he's gone for two to three...

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142.
43% of College Women Experience Abusive Dating Behaviors
C. Price

C. Price

Just how common is abuse in college relationships? Research indicates almost half of all college women have suffered abuse from one of their partners. Results from a survey initiated by Knowledge Networks aims to shine a light on a disturbing reality many college women find themselves experiencing, often without any idea how to end the abuse or how to seek the help they need. "Forty-three percent of college women...

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143.
He Has Trust Issues. Could That be a Red Flag?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Reader Question: The guy I'm currently dating is someone I met from the platonic section on Craigslist five months ago. We eventually chatted every day through email and text messages. I had crush on him, and he said he was interested in hanging out. But he never asked me out. Eventually I confessed I had a crush on him and he said he had one, too. He said the reason he didn't want to hang out is because he has...

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144.
He’s Just Not That Into You
Jonathan Welford

Jonathan Welford

This phrase was eloquently used in an episode of “Sex and the City.” Just replace Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and (the quite marvelous) Samantha with some gay men and you’ve got exactly the same setup in the gay world. There will always be the one who will continually whine about things, the one with extremely high standards who has difficulty in finding a match, the cynical one that feels relationships are a...

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145.
How Can I Tell He’s a Player?
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

If he looks at you the way Scooby Doo looks at a submarine sandwich, then he might be a player. A player sees you for your physical assets and sexual potential, not as an individual girl or the object of his love and affection. It can be very difficult to pick out a player because he doesn’t have any real faults. Players have become very smooth and can respond in stride to anything you throw at them. If anything,...

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146.
Pre-Wedding Jitters: Cold Feet or Serious Red Flag?
Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

It used to be assumed that everyone has doubts just before walking up the aisle. I mean, who wouldn’t get a bout of the shakes at a life change that involves every aspect of oneself - your home, your social life, your sex life and your money! But is nervousness about marriage a serious warning sign? Apparently, the answer is yes. A new study out of the University of California, Los Angeles, and published in the...

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147.
Why Do I Always Pick the Wrong Girls?
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

A lot of men (and women) tend to repeat relationship mistakes. There is a certain ease and proficiency that comes with doing the same thing over and over. We subconsciously target women who fall into our familiar profile. We have trained ourselves to say the things she wants to hear, and we have learned that she will respond to our approach in a way that will give us instant success and gratification. What we...

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148.
How to Know You’re a Booty Call
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Have you ever wondered if the guy you’re with thinks of you as just a booty call and not really as a girlfriend? Actually, wondering about it is the first danger sign that it might be true! Sex is an important aspect of adult relationships, but if it’s the only aspect, then it’s not really a relationship at all. You can get to the truth of the situation by asking yourself some serious questions and giving honest...

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149.
7 Signs You Might be Undateable
Nick Slade

Nick Slade

It’s not easy to make a guy walk away from a beautiful woman, but there are some dating deal-breakers that even the undiscriminating caveman will not tolerate. Most self-respecting guys tend to distance themselves from psychos, nags, emotional messes and women who try to cripple their male ego. Here are a few of the behaviors that could cost you a relationship with a great guy and label you undateable: 1....

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150.
3 Daters Men Should Avoid
Sam Stieler

Sam Stieler

What a wonderful world we would live in if every woman we met was a totally eligible bachelorette, willing and able to provide us with the perfect form of companionship we desire! Of course, that wonderful world is nothing more than a pipe dream. When you date in the real world, you will encounter more than your fair share of female archetypes you’d do best to avoid. And who are some of the top daters to...

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Amber Brooks

By: Amber Brooks

Editor-in-Chief

Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.

See Amber's full bio »

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