Let's Talk Red Flags (Page 3)

Let’s admit it — we enjoy drinking. That might mean a night out at a lesbian bar, an afternoon T-dance, catching a first friday lesbian happy hour event in your city or that backyard barbecue with your posse. Drinking plays a big role in many lesbian scenes. But let’s also admit that sometimes drinking has created a problem or two or 20 in our relationships. That was my history in my last relationship. Alcohol...

Not only has Dr. Kathleen Malley-Morrison dedicated the last 50 years of her life to Boston University, but she's also dedicated the last five decades to putting a stop to violence in intimate relationships through her research.  Dr. Kathleen Malley-Morrison, Ed.D., an esteemed professor at Boston University, has always been interested in human relationships, but she's also always been interested in shedding light...

TL;DR: When you want to learn more about sex tourism, particularly the contradictions that exist among men and women, there's no better person to turn to than Dr. Jacqueline Sanchez Taylor, a lecturer at the University of Leicester.  If you see an older man with a younger woman at a tourist resort, do you assume there is an arrangement where money is exchanged for sex? Probably. However, if you see an older...

After a few great dates with your new guy, your feelings for him are growing, and you feel hopeful that you could have something substantial with him. Then suddenly he goes “POOF” with no explanation. You are left feeling disappointed, confused and frustrated, replaying every date and conversation in your mind as you attempt to figure out what might have gone wrong. The lack of closure and communication on his part...

Most first dates don’t become second dates. Then most second dates don’t become third dates, so by the time you are on a third date, you might be thinking this could be serious. And if you’ve had sex already, you do think it’s serious. Right? Yeah and that’s a big mistake. Then there are the 30, 60- and 90-day breakups. It happens all the time. It’s happened to me a number of times, and it’s happened to my...

One of the secrets to finding the right man is not being emotionally involved with the wrong man. You have a finite amount of time on this planet, so you want to be wise in how you spend your life energy. Unfortunately you can’t always rely on initial spark or intense attraction to indicate a good match, particularly with online dating. In fact, passion and chemistry can sometimes cloud your better judgment. It can...

Catfishing is the process of developing a relationship and feelings for someone, but you have a delayed meeting or have never met. The person with whom you think you are building a relationship with is not who they say they are. When you get catfished, you have a two choices: Drop them and move on. Keep them in your life. The guy who started the popular MTV show "Catfish" by way of his documentary did so after...

In the past few years, the Kardashians have become some of the highest profile socialites in Hollywood. Their lives are constantly on display for the rest of us through countless shows, partnerships and whatever else. While some might feel the value we place on them is too high, there is a lot we can learn about relationships from the Kardashians. Their "lessons" in love will teach you how to snag the partner of...

When I hear people talking about the certain "types" of guys they’re attracted to and will date, I often find myself cringing. “I couldn’t go out with him because he’s just not my type" or “Muscle guys are totally my type that I go for” are some references you may have heard out on the singles scene. We're all drawn to a particular type of man This attraction is based on many factors, including early life...

August is Romance Awareness Month, and Aug. 18 is Bad Poetry Day. To knock out two celebrations at once, we decided to find the worst love poems ever. These poems will definitely last longer than the relationships did. We've also included some GIFs to express the feelings we had when reading these. 7. "Lucky In Love" Lucky in love, lucky in love Didn't forget me when I asked you to leave me Didn't forget me Now...

You meet a man for the first time and it feels magical. You are hypnotized with the intoxicating chemical reaction that draws you to him. He tells you how beautiful and sexy you are and he can’t wait to see you again. He describes in detail where he wants to take you and talks about future dreams together. The minute you get home, you receive multiple texts from him indicating a passionate desire to see you again....

He pictures his dream girl. Maybe she is smart, quirky, independent, balanced, funny, nurturing, strong, good in bed and he feels lucky to have her. He can’t wait to show her off to his friends and family and enjoy a relationship filled with mutual respect, trust, connection and love. Then he pictures the opposite - the type of woman he can’t help but want to avoid at all costs. He pictures a relationship filled...

At last you’re ready for a relationship. You want to find the right girl who fulfills your needs while you satisfy hers. You'd like to skip through the parks, run along the beaches, start dreaming of houses and kids and eventually plan a big ol’ wedding together. Right? Well, it’s attainable as long as you don’t fall into certain traps and personality traits that can cost you dearly along the way. Women everywhere...

Narcissism, defined as an egotistical admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, is not typically seen as an ideal personality trait. Narcissism is often associated with arrogance and rudeness. A research study, which appears in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, shows narcissistic individuals have another concerning pattern: a higher propensity to cheat. The participants More than 120 newlyweds were...

By now everyone has heard about the antics of billionaire Donald Sterling, whose racially-charged rants gained media coverage everywhere. It’s a sad testimony to an obviously smart businessman (you have to be either very smart or extremely lucky to have that kind of wealth.) You would think someone so talented in the art of making money would be just as sharp in his personal life, learning to play correctly within...

Probably every single lesbian has experienced this at least once in her life. Either you couldn’t move on or you are dating a woman who can’t move on from her ex. If you’re the lesbian who is dating a woman who hasn’t let go of her old lover, it can be confusing and discouraging. It also can make you feel very angry and insecure. You find yourself developing feelings for a woman who isn’t really available to be in...

Although it might look fun, sexy and appealing in movies and television shows, getting involved with an unavailable man or a man in a relationship can be harmful for your mental health and hinder your ability to create and sustain the healthy and loving partnership you are looking for. He might seem sweet, fun, smart or handsome, but men who cheat while in a relationship exhibit many red flags that should not be...

Have you ever met someone, immediately clicked and then felt like a force was taking you over? After this initial encounter, it does not matter what you do. You will not be able get that guy out of your head. You make a conscious effort to think about something else but seem to fail each time. After the first encounter, you will keep thinking about your interactions with him, what each of you said, how he moved and...

Reader Question: On our third date, I confronted the guy I'm dating about finding a girl's things in his bathroom. He said they're breaking up and she just needs somewhere to stay until she finds a new place. Reluctantly, I believe him. We started being intimate. He talks about wanting to make me happy, but his life is so busy. Most of the time we spend together is doing his running around. He has recently...

One of the biggest dating traps for gay men is becoming romantically interested in straight men. Many a storyline has been written in porn about the seduction of gay and straight men in various sexual scenarios, and this can certainly be hot from a dramatic and titillation standpoint. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this because our attractions are unique to each of us and all of us are able to appreciate...

If you’ve been online looking for love, you’ve probably heard of the term Catfish. Maybe you’ve even seen the MTV show. If you’re like me, you’ve thought people were crazy when you heard stories about them falling in love and even mortgaging their house or putting themselves into debt to give money away all for a man or woman they have never met. They say until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you’re not in...

Being a lesbian doesn’t mean you should accept less than the best in a relationship. That’s not the world we live in anymore. It used to be lesbians didn’t live their lives openly, and when a queer woman showed up in your life, you took her for better or worse. Well, straight society has sworn off on that promise and so should you. Not only is living with the crumbs of love demoralizing and lonely, but it means...

Dating can be challenging at the best of times, but sometimes you get warning signs early on that something is not quite right with your date. If you feel you’re walking on eggshells, fearful of not meeting your date's expectations or on the receiving end of subtle criticism and abuse, it’s possible you may be dating a narcissist. Narcissism is a term that refers to a personality style that can develop in some...

Many single men over 50 have confided in me as a dating coach that they just want to be lazy when it comes to dating, courting and romance now that they’re older. Sure, their hormones aren't wired the same way as their 20-something counterparts, but a mature man who has found his lady love still does make an effort and pursues her. If that baby boomer guy you just started seeing is asking you to become exclusive...

People date with all sorts of intentions. If you are looking for a potential long-term partner, as many of us single moms are, then I hope these words find you: If you approach dating from a place of scarcity, insecurity and neediness, then you will never, and I mean never, find a date and/or partner who will treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve. Whenever I sought out a man to save me, I rushed into a...

Reader Question: I dated this girl for a short time. In that time, we had fallen head over heals for each other. One day out of the blue, she just breaks up with me and says she's not over her ex. After a couple of weeks, we started chatting again. She is back with her ex mostly (she says) because we were together for such a short time and it never happened to her before, falling hard for someone so...

Perhaps you have heard of the Lone Ranger lesbian. You rarely see her around and she doesn’t really show up for anything that happens in the lesbian community. Then suddenly you see her everywhere. What happened? She’s single again and on the prowl for a new relationship. Then as suddenly as she appeared, she disappears when she’s locked onto a woman. Then they “go dark.” That’s lesbian code for two women hooking...

Probably the hardest decision someone can make is whether to end a relationship. Could this bumpy patch be a signal that the end is near or that bright days are ahead if you wait and see? Relationships aren't easy and good relationships take lots of hard work. In general, I advise the wait-and-see approach while you work on some of your own relationship skills. But there are cases where the relationship isn't just...

The other weekend I traveled from Florida to Chicago for a short vacation. For some reason, I wasn’t able to choose my seat in the airplane while booking my ticket, so I got stuck with the best seat on the plane: middle in the last row. I was between two men who were both at least 15 years older than me. Immediately they both started chit-chatting. I’m usually a chatty Kathy, but I really needed to write a few...

Sometimes relationships activate nerves and uncertainties as you and your partner learn about each other to determine if a lifetime together is what you want. You might temporarily experience doubts or cold feet or wonder if he is right for you. However, it is important to assess if your concerns are powerful indicators that something is not right. While some uncertainty is bound to appear from time to time, you...