Key Takeaways
Our lesbian dating experts have spent over a decade testing, rating, and reviewing apps that serve the LGBTQ+ community.
-
Our top pick for lesbians wanting a relationship is Match.
-
If you’re a lesbian over 50, we recommend joining OurTime.com.
One of my friends left her husband after over 10 years together because she felt ready to try something different. Specifically, she wanted to try dating women. After coming out to her family, she joined Match because Groupon had a coupon code for it. Within a week, she met a woman who’d used the same discount.
The two women had a good laugh over their shared thriftiness, and they quickly developed a serious relationship. They’ve now been married for 11 years.
This love story is a heartwarming example of the life-changing impact a dating site can have on lesbians seeking serious relationships. These two women joined Match on a lark, and they ended up meeting a soul mate.
If you’re looking for a serious lesbian relationship, joining a top-rated dating site can be a fast and effective way to get something going.
Overall Best Lesbian Dating Sites for Serious Relationships (#1-2)
Lesbian dating can be fraught with difficulties and headaches, not to mention creepy dudes who can’t take a hint, so it makes sense that many women prefer to mingle in niche online spaces.
Dating sites give lesbian women the luxury of being surrounded by their type. The following platforms can help lesbian women get their footing online and meet women with true relationship potential.
Match
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: “Match lets lesbian singles set their filters and browse on their own terms, deciding who's worth a closer look instead of leaving it to an algorithm.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Match frequently appears at the top of lists like these because it’s one of the longest running and most successful dating platforms out there. Since 1995, the team has perfected its matchmaking system and developed an algorithm that takes personality traits, relationship goals, and sexual preferences into account.
When I used Match, I was impressed by the level of detail provided in the profile. I could not only identify as a dog person, I could say if I prefer big dogs or small dogs. Personality matters here, and that’s a great upside for lesbians looking for a real relationship.
Pros
- Large, diverse membership
- 31 sexuality and gender options
- Free chatting with matches
Cons
- Fewer users under 30
- No video features
My friend isn’t the only lesbian to find a bride on Match. Many queer women have joined this dating site because they’re ready to get serious and find a compatible woman.
You can start by browsing a curated list of daily matches, and then use search filters by age, location, interests, and lifestyle to get more specific options. Free members can message their mutual matches, so don’t be too stingy about sending a friendly like!
eharmony
- Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships
- Match System: Personality test suggests matches
- Our Experts Say: “eharmony gives lesbian singles the chance to get to know someone beyond the profile and build a relationship with genuine potential.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Since its launch in 2000, eharmony has basically become synonymous with marriage-minded dating. The signup is inclusive of gay, lesbian, and nonbinary dating, and the premium match process is designed to facilitate long-term love.
I would say eharmony is definitely more about quality than quantity. It isn’t an endless pile of profiles and LGBTQ+ matches. It’s more targeted than that. The site prioritizes personal compatibility and highlights what you have in common.
Pros
- Psychology-based personality quiz
- Members are serious relationship seekers
- Long, detailed dating profiles
Cons
- Limited free communication
- Only 3 gender identity options
If you identify as a woman seeking women on eharmony, you will not see any male profiles in the dashboard, and you will not be seen by any men on the site.
Women seeking a lesbian relationship can rely on eharmony to recommend some quality candidates. All members take a personality quiz and answer prompts that provide insights into their communication style, daily habits, and core values. The compatibility ratings aren’t mere guesswork; they’re based on a serious amount of data.
Best Free Lesbian Dating Sites (#3-4)
Want to jump into the online dating scene without spending a fortune? Then you should sign up to a free dating site where you won’t be nickel-and-dimed for every match and message. Most dating sites have some free services, but you have to really dig into the Terms and Conditions to see which ones are genuinely worth your while.
Butterfly
- Relationships: Casual Dating, Serious Relationships, Chatting
- Match System: Search Filters, match suggestions
- Our Experts Say: “Butterfly is a safe space for transgender and genderfluid people seeking a partner. The platform checks and approves all profiles to ensure fake profiles aren’t an issue, and all communication is closely monitored.”
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Butterfly is a transgender dating app dedicated to inclusive matching and free expression. Any queer, trans, nonbinary, transitioning, or questioning woman can join this niche dating pool to find their tribe.
This independently owned dating app is dedicated to going beyond fetishizing trans people and actually creating a safe, judgment-free space for LGBTQ+ dating.
Pros
- LGBTQIA+ signup options
- All profiles verified with a live video
- Robust content moderation
Cons
- Smaller user base
- Users have mixed intentions
Members can set up a profile for free, browse profiles and photos for free, and send Flutter messages for free. Flutters are introductory messages that set the tone and see if there’s interest. It’s enough to test the waters and see if you encounter any viable matches.
The vibes on Butterfly are exceptionally friendly. I will say local dates are in shorter supply in rural areas, but the app doesn’t restrict users by ZIP code or city (a nice perk for those of us used to being penned in by Tinder), so you can meet people who share common interests, even if they live many miles away.
4. OkCupid
OkCupid is a free dating site that has taken up the battle cry “Dating deserves better” and created matching tools that are efficient, engaging, and affordable. I used OkCupid in my personal life for many years, and got into many long conversations thanks to the free chatting. I even met one boyfriend who lasted about a year.
OkCupid is a fantastic app for lesbians. In 2014, the app expanded its profile to include 22 gender and 13 orientation options. New users can proudly identify as lesbian, bisexual, questioning, sapiosexual, homoflexible, or none of the above. They can also say what they’re looking for in the Intentions section of the profile.
Pros
- Profiles offer room to express yourself
- Fun personality quiz questions
- Free messaging tools
Cons
- Not everyone completes their profile
- Must get likes to have convos
- Casual daters are in the mix
Since its launch in 2004, OkCupid has proudly offered free communication. Anyone can send a first message for free, without a mutual match, and then they can send unlimited follow-up messages for free after that person likes or messages them back.
Whether it’s offering “poly dating” badges or offering up original dating prompts, OkCupid has continually provided users with innovative ways to spark curiosity and romance. And it’s totally free!
Top Senior Dating Site for Lesbian Relationships (#5)
Once you reach a certain age, dating becomes rather difficult. Seniors often don’t have as many opportunities to meet people as they used to, and their social lives can shrink, which is also bad news for their love lives. Online dating changes all that.
Whether you’ve just come out of the closet or you’ve been out and proud for decades, you can join a senior dating site to meet lesbian and bisexual women who share your life experience.
OurTime.com
- Relationships: Dates and Relationships
- Match System: Search by profiles by zip and more
- Our Experts Say: “OurTime gives lesbian singles over 50 a dating pool of their own, where every woman is at the same stage of life.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
OurTime is a senior site designed to enrich the lives of singles over 50. This empowering dating site has all the usual bells and whistles (likes, match suggestions, search filters) and it offers free messaging for all mutual matches.
Pros
- Mature dating pool
- Free to message mutual matches
- Inclusive of lesbian, bi, and queer dating
Cons
- Doesn’t have video features
- No age verification
Senior lesbians have options on OurTime, and none of them are immature straight guys with smart mouths. This is a dating site grounded in maturity and mutual respect.
The site’s safety features are robust and ensure harassment is essentially nonexistent. OurTime has reporting and block tools in case users meet someone unsavory, and all members must pass a two-factor authentication and photo approval process to join the membership.
Top Lesbian Dating Sites for International Relationships (#6-7)
So many dating apps focus on local matches, but that’s not always enough for lesbian women who feel they’ve exhausted their town’s LGBTQ+ pool. If you’re itching to expand your horizons and meet lesbian women in other cities or other countries, the following dating sites have your back.
Dating.com
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Sort profiles by ZIP code, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: “Dating.com is an honest and upright dating site for women seeking lesbian relationships. Lesbian singles can use the dating site to focus on the values that matter most to them. Dating.com is all about identifying long-term compatibility and using technology to bridge distances.”
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Dating.com stands out in the online dating scene because it allows international profile browsing (for free!). The site operates in 150 countries, and it has simple search tools to help individuals find their type.
Lesbian singles won’t have to worry about encountering unicorn hunters here because the vibes are less about “hitting it and quitting it” and more about having a conversation and building a love connection.
Pros
- Free signup takes under 1 minute
- Search filters by lifestyle and zodiac sign
- Cross-cultural messaging tools
Cons
- Binary gender options
- Users are mostly in big cities
In addition to instant messaging, lesbian women have the option to send videos, voice notes, gifs, and photos to other users. You can also post videos on your dating profile. All these features are considered “extras,” meaning they cost credits to unlock them.
Dating.com’s location-based features will highlight the profiles of women who live in your area, but you can also widen your distance parameters to meet matches around the world.
DateMyAge
- Relationships: Serious Dating, Long-term Relationships, Pen Pals
- Match System: Search filters, Suggested matches
- Our Experts Say: “DateMyAge supports an inclusive community where queer women can make inroads toward the relationship they desire.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
DateMyAge is a dating site designed for mature relationships with no borders to hinder connections. The diverse dating pool stretches from North America to Asia to Europe, and any member can send a message (with free translation included) regardless of their current location.
I started getting messages within the same hour of signing up for DateMyAge. Members are active and polite, and they could hail from anywhere from Ireland to Japan.
Pros
- Search any country for a lesbian profile
- Don’t need to match to talk
- Detailed profiles highlighting core values
Cons
- Smaller dating pool
- Need credits for video and voice notes
If you travel often or are interested in an international pen pal, this would be a fun dating service to try. It’s not the biggest dating pool, but the profiles are detailed, and users are more likely to say they’re motivated by love than physical attraction.
Top Black Lesbian Dating Site for Serious Relationships (#8)
In 2021, the William Institute conducted a survey that found that about 1.2 million Americans identify as Black and LGBT. That amounts to about 2% of the Black population, which is a very slim minority to look for in the dating scene.
Fortunately, a Black dating site can help singles find that one special person. Lesbian singles can use sophisticated search filters and niche dating networks to meet singles who identify as LGBTQ+ and POC.
- Relationships: Deep Relationships or Just Casual Dates
- Match System: Search by location, age, more
- Our Experts Say: “BlackPeopleMeet is one of our favorites for black and biracial lesbian singles because it's free to try.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Since its launch in 2002, BlackPeopleMeet has been the leading dating site for Black, biracial, multiracial singles. It takes less than two minutes to create a dating profile, identify yourself as a woman seeking women, and start browsing for free.
Free members can exchange messages as long as they’ve formed a mutual match. If you want to see who’s liked or viewed your profile, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid plan, which ranges from $8-20 a month.
Pros
- Useful filters to find niche profiles
- Free chatting with matches
Cons
- No video features
- Small pool of local lesbians
- Must pay to see who’s liked you
As the name indicates, BlackPeopleMeet was designed for Black singles, so it has unique filters based on culture and lifestyle. That can be appealing for Black lesbians who have a particular type and don’t mind wading in a smaller pool to find matches who come from similar backgrounds.
As a People Media Site, BlackPeopleMeet has access to millions of profiles in its database, and the match system highlights the most attractive and compatible of the bunch.
Best Christian Dating Site for Lesbians (#9)
Some may draw a false separation between “good Christians” and “godless gays,” but in reality many LGBTQ+ people also go to church and believe in God.
According to the Pew Research Center, 48% of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people identify as Christian. If your faith is important to you, then you may want to join a Christian dating site that welcomes lesbian women.
9. Christian Mingle
Christian Mingle is the leading Christian dating site in the United States. Singles sign up because they want God-centered relationships. The site doesn’t require its members to be Christian, but it does ask that all users be open to Christian marriages.
When I joined Christian Mingle, I set my gender preferences for both men and woman, and I was surprised how many queer ladies showed up in my feed. Not all of them were in my small Georgia town, but there were dozens within driving distance.
New members can identify as seeking women, men, or both genders. They can also fill in prompts about their spiritual practices and missionary work. It’s a unique space to talk about what your Christianity and your sexuality mean to you.
Pros
- Detailed values-driven profiles
- Prompts specific to Christian life
- Mostly serious daters
Cons
- Few local lesbian profiles
- Not all search filters are free
- Gender options are binary
ChristianMingle is powered by Sparks Network Inc., which is also responsible for running Jdate, LDS Singles, and Adventist Singles. These sites emphasize the importance of meeting someone who shares similar spiritual values and religious beliefs.
Top Lesbian Dating Apps (#10-11)
Modern dating apps have a reputation for being superficial and all about hookups. However, certain dating apps have gone to great lengths to dive beyond the surface and appeal to the serious daters of the world.
10. HER
HER is a women-only dating app where lesbian, bisexual, queer, and questioning singles can mingle freely. The app fosters a safe space for chatting and flirting. The HER team focuses more on building a community than photo swiping, and it shows.
Since its launch, HER has provided powerful connective tools geared toward queer women. Over 15 million profiles are active on the platform, and it’s easy to build friendships and romances by liking photos, sending messages, or responding to public event invitations.
Pros
- Confirmed all female membership
- Local event listings
- Free swiping and chats
Cons
- Reports of inactive profiles
- Not all filters are free
- App can be glitchy
HER has a calendar of queer events organized by city, so individuals can rock their rainbow gear at a PRIDE parade or have fun hobnobbing at a wine tasting.
Of course, big liberal cities have more events going on than small rural towns, but any individual can post a meetup, so you can always put feelers out to start your own book club or hiking group.
“This app gives me hope as I’ve actually talked to some pretty amazing women,” said one user in a review on iTunes. “The app itself is providing you the chance to meet incredible women, but it can be a bit much for those who are wary of their money.”
11. Hinge
Hinge is the dating app that was “designed to be deleted.” That means its quality-driven features help singles make a match, have a good conversation, and build a relationship so they no longer need the app’s help.
In 2016, the app removed the typical swiping feature and required users to like or comment on something on the dating profile. This may seem like a small touch, but it can be meaningful. Hinge encourages users to show interest and start conversations based on what they like about that person in particular.
Pros
- Fast-growing LGBTQ+ membership
- Mostly serious relationship seekers
- Interesting profiles
Cons
- Some paywalls
- No video features
In a world of swiping and ghosting, it means a lot when users take that extra moment to say something original and get to know one another in a more natural and respectful way. Most users share their religious and political views on their profiles, so you’ll know right away if you line up on the important issues.
Hinge got a big boost in the LGBTQ+ community after presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg disclosed that he met his husband Chasten on the app. In the month following this revelation, Hinge saw a 30% increase in profiles created by LGBTQ+ singles.
I’m one of Hinge’s success stories as well because I met my partner on the app in 2019.
How Do I Find a Relationship on a Lesbian Dating Site?
If you want to find a real relationship from online dating, it’ll take some effort. I spent a good few years navigating the swiping world before I settled down. My advice: Be intentional, fill out your profile completely, and look for green flags that go beyond “she’s a hottie.”
People use dating sites for all different reasons. Some are just looking for a casual chat and ego boost. But others are serious about building a life with someone and finding their soulmate. If you’re among the latter, you should say so, clearly and proudly, in your profile.
Make sure you’ve completed all the prompts and optional demographic fields possible. Write in full sentences. Provide specific details. Then use the filter options to prioritize matches that will actually align with you on the important things (as in, religious views rather than hair color).
Lead with your values and your personality to let potential matches know what they’re getting. Skip sexy shots of you posing at the beach. Instead, choose more interest-based photos of you on a hike or at a community event.
Finding a relationship on a dating site is all about being honest, vulnerable, and authentically you.
What Information Should I Include in My Lesbian Profile?
Your dating profile is your first impression, so it’s important to be deliberate with every word and picture. A good lesbian dating profile is authentic and original. It has to be on point because online daters have many alternatives and distractions at their fingertips.
You can’t do the bare minimum and expect to succeed in such a competitive environment. That’s why I always recommend filling in every “optional” section available to you on a dating profile.
It takes more than a name, birthdate, and location to catch someone’s eye. The most attractive dating profiles are full of juicy details that highlight a person’s sense of humor, experiences, values, and goals.
Your profile should reflect your personality, so don’t follow a template, use AI, or spout platitudes — say something only you know how to say.
“You should probably know that I somehow manage to spill guacamole on myself every time I eat it, which is often,” said NurseJen in her Zoosk dating profile. “If you can get past that, you’ll probably enjoy getting to know me.”
Make a joke in your byline or post a goofy pic to capture women’s attention. One of my friends likes to write cheeky responses to typical dating prompts, so when asked, “What are you looking for?” she’ll say something like, “My sunglasses. Has anyone seen them?”
What Should I Say in My First Message?
OkCupid has actually broken down the numbers on this question and found that the most successful first messages include a mention of specific interests. Greetings were more likely to get responses if they used niche words such as “band,” “vegetarian,” “tattoo(s),” and, inexplicably, “zombies.”
Using humor also seems to work in people’s favor—saying “haha” or “lol” both had reply rates over 40% on OkCupid.
I put together a quick four-step guide for writing a message that is way more likely to get a response than “hey, you’re cute.”
- Step 1: Read the Profile.
- Step 2: Choose One Thing You Like About It (Beyond Looks).
- Step 3: Mention That Thing In Your Message.
- Step 4: End With a Question!!!
Your first message should be fairly brief. Anything longer than two or three sentences is likely to scare a woman off.
According to OkCupid, the ideal first message is between 50 to 200 characters long, which is about one minute’s worth of typing for the average person. That’s just enough space to introduce yourself, give a compliment, and ask a question to get the conversation rolling.
“Think of what YOU respond to,” suggested lesbian matchmaker Frankie Bashan of the Little Gay Book. “Craft a message either based on her profile or something on your own profile.”
Should I Use a Lesbian Dating App or a Mainstream Dating Site?
Our experts consistently rank mainstream dating sites higher than niche lesbian dating apps. The reason for that is simple: Online dating success is all about numbers. The bigger names in the space have more signups and more match options for users, and that makes them more valuable…even if they’re simultaneously helping straight singles as well.
While lesbian-specific apps like Lex and Taimi can feel more colorful and fun, the reality is that their pool of active daters will dry up pretty quickly. The most common complaint we hear about lesbian apps is that they show the same profiles over and over—and then put up paywalls that slow things down even more.
How Can I Tell If a Woman I Meet Online Wants a Relationship?
Ideally, that information is on her profile. If it’s not, then you can look for other signals of serious dating such as sending longer messages that seem to be trying to know you (instead of trying to seduce you).
Serious daters tend to focus more on compatibility questions that’ll help them determine how your lives would mesh. They may talk about vulnerable topics like their childhood or family dynamics. Serious daters also plan dates that are less about “let’s go drink” and more about “let’s go talk.”
If all else fails and you’re feeling really confused about where you stand, you can always ask. The direct route is going to get things out in the open and save you both time.
How Do I Stay Safe on a Lesbian Dating Site?
If you keep your wits about you, staying safe on a lesbian dating site is easy. Look for trusted female-friendly spaces with verified profiles. Listen to your gut if someone feels off. And if you encounter anything even in the neighborhood of harassment or hate speech, hit the block button and move on.
When it comes to protecting user safety, some apps really go above and beyond. Our experts rank Match as the safest dating site because it has two-factor authentication, active moderation, and even offers a Date Check In feature where users can alert a trusted contact with informational texts about their date.
It’s rare, but sometimes men do pose as women on lesbian dating sites. These catfish are usually more annoying time wasters than dangerous dates. If you’re picking up on weird vibes, ask for a video date or a live selfie to confirm they’re legit.
Always plan your first date in a public place with your own transportation. Don’t give out your address or personal details. And never send money to any online match for any reason.
Do Lesbian Dating Sites Actually Work for Serious Relationships?
If you’ve never tried online dating before, it’s natural to feel a little hesitant. You may not really know what to expect, but it’s similar to when you have first-day-of-school butterflies or just-moved-to-a-new-city jitters—you just have to get used to a new environment.
Over 51% of LGB singles have tried online dating, and many of them have gotten into a relationship as a result.
In fact, meeting online is now the most popular way for brides to meet their spouses. According to a survey conducted by The Knot, about 30% of new marriages have a dating site to thank.
Legit sites tend to have plenty of success stories posted to prove their merits. You should do your research online and ask your friends for their recommendations. And if you want our two cents, fill out this quiz, so we can help you figure out which dating platform is right for you.
This interactive tool needs JavaScript to run. See our top-rated dating apps instead.
It may take a bit of trial and error to find the right fit, but as long as you keep a positive attitude and take reasonable safety precautions, you should be able to make matches, land dates, and build relationships online.
How We Chose the Best Lesbian Dating Sites for Relationships
Our online dating experts have tested and reviewed popular apps to determine how well they work for different types of daters. When it comes to lesbian dating, we also consult with lesbian matchmakers and queer dating coaches to get their insights and recommendations.
Over the last 14 years of ranking dating sites and apps, we’ve developed this core criteria for our ratings:
- Popularity: Active, diverse, and inclusive user base.
- Features: User-friendly interface with effective match tools.
- Value: Free membership is satisfying with affordable upgrade options.
- Safety: Profile verification and content moderation keep bad actors at bay.
For this specific list, we adjusted our rankings to reflect the app’s LGBTQ+ inclusivity and compatibility-driven matching features, and we identified niche sites that work best for specific types of lesbians.
An editor returns semiannually to fact-check the findings, stats, and reviews to ensure they are up to date with the latest app developments and user trends.
The Best Lesbian Dating Sites Can Inspire Serious Relationships
Some love stories start with a furtive glance at a party or a pickup line at a bar. Others begin with a coupon code and a match request. My friend’s second marriage has given her the freedom to be herself and be loved for all her quirks—including her enthusiastic coupon-clipping.
Even if you’ve tried online dating before and haven’t gotten the results you want, it’s never too late to create a new profile and have a fresh start on a different site or app. You can explore any of the lesbian dating platforms on this list to meet quality dates and build relationships one message at a time.
