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Let's Talk Breakups (Page 6)
By:
Amber Brooks
Amber Brooks,Editor-in-Chief
Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.
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Editor:
Lillian Castro
Lillian Castro,Senior Editor
Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.
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They say nothing breaks like a heart (à la Miley Cyrus). Thankfully, our hearts are also more resilient than they get credit for and can be put back together time and time again. This is something our dating experts know well.
Here, you can get support and advice for surviving even the toughest breakups. Our experts offer comforting remedies to help our readers move on after a failed relationship and leave the past in the past.
Our articles hit every stage of the breakup process, from navigating complicated feelings to releasing guilt or resentment. Breakups don’t occur in a vacuum. They can be messy and extremely emotional, spilling everywhere.
Our expert advice takes this into account and offers thoughtful insights into processing grief, managing lingering emotions, and rebuilding your life after a relationship’s end so you can take back control.
We help you pick up the pieces by covering topics like emotional healing, coping strategies, and closure to assist you along your journey. With our experts' help, you can break from unhealthy patterns, recover from toxic relationships, and regain your balance.
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Reader Question:
I am still in love with my ex-girlfriend who I broke up with due to her dealings with drugs and cheating. She will not take me back but tells me she will come back one day, she misses me, still loves me and promises she "won't mess it up next time."
What should I do?
-Shawn (North Carolina)
Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer:
We all think we can return to the rosy days of a previous love...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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Sure, heartbreaks hurt. But you don’t have to be completely over dramatic. You’re probably going to cry, maybe overindulge in chocolate and/or ice cream and call on your friends for martini nights, but of course you’re going to love again.
Just keep telling yourself that the pain is only temporary and don’t shut yourself off to finding love again. There’s that saying that it takes twice as long as the relationship...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Reader Question:
I've been broken up with my child's father for three years, and now he is seeing someone else. I made a mistake back then. How can I get him back?
-Alex
Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer:
You can’t "get" him back. You can only show him you are an honest, loyal and loving mother to his child. And you can tell him your feelings about him - with love, remorse and brutal honesty.
What he does with that...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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In today’s culture of talk show therapy and self-help books, looking at our relationships through the filter of dysfunction has come to be the norm. Too often, women expect their men to be broken and try to change themselves to compensate for his shortcomings.
Reality Check: There IS such a thing as a healthy relationship. A man should not be a "project." Sometimes you just have to throw the bum out and start...
C. Price is part of DatingAdvice.com's content team. She writes advice articles, how-to guides, and studies — all relating to dating, relationships, love, sex, and more.
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Everyone has their own ways of getting through a breakup. Some drown themselves in their work, others stuff their faces with potato chips (I'm not an ice cream person), and then there are the dumpees who turn to music to ease their pain.
Everyone has a go-to song when they are feeling down. You know, the one song that feels like the artist wrote it just for you?
If you’re trying to make your way through the...
Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.
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Guys, if you have come to a place where you realize it’s time to part ways with your girlfriend and you are going to have to face the unpleasant experience of breaking up with her, proceed with caution. Women do not do well when they are on the receiving end of the news that they are being dumped.
A breakup is a devastating experience for most women and can cause some of us to become completely irrational. Keep...
Lauren is just about 24 now and thinks that age has brought a little clarity. She is in the dating scene but not to the point where sometimes she knows better. It's an interesting phase. Of her three best friends: one is married, one in a relationship and one is trolloping around Europe. That all seems normal to Lauren, who said she is less judgmental than she used to be. At a certain point, you realize most people are just on different paths to the same end.
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A bad breakup can be trying on even the most independent woman. Rejection plus sudden change is a math equation no one wants to end up on the other side of. Here are a few tips to show how women can cope with a breakup, successfully.
1. Go easy on yourself.
It's natural to feel a sense of loss at the end of a relationship, so let yourself grieve. Let the laundry pile up, watch a dumb movie, read a book that in no way...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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Out of the 20 or so guys I dated before getting married, I think it’s fair to say I’m really only friends with one of them. And that’s because we were best friends prior to adding romantic elements into the mix. Either way, it’s a delicate dance to remain friends (or even just be on good terms) with an ex.
For guys, it’s even more difficult. What is it that women want once a relationship has ended? Do they want to...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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As with most affairs of the heart, there are easy, logical answers that don’t always jibe with your human response. Heartbreak can’t be cured through intellectual gymnastics alone. Nevertheless, we have to use our brains to guide the healing process.
You can allow yourself only one day for tortured devastation, self-pity and all-consuming grief. Maybe two days if it was long term and ended with unexpected...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Reader Question:
How do I move on after a breakup of a three-year relationship when she says she will always love me but we have been through too much?
-Philip W. (Virginia)
Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer:
When people separate, they may have strong feelings for each other even if the breakup was meant to be. Losing a lover feels like losing a leg. That leg may have had gangrene and needed to be amputated, but you...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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Websites like Facebook and Twitter have made all of our lives more transparent than they were a few years ago. Even with privacy settings, anyone within our social networks can now quickly and easily access an incredible amount of personal information about us, including what we’re doing, where we’re doing it, and who we’re doing it with.
While the rise of social networking makes us all feel closer and better...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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Knowing how to cope with an ex-boyfriend dating a friend is tricky. First of all, you need to put things in perspective. If she’s a good friend and he was a serious relationship, then it’s understandable that the two of them being together would bother you.
On the other hand, if she’s a casual acquaintance and you only went on a few dates with this guy, then you really have no cause to complain. If you’re having a...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Reader Question:
I'm 19 years old and I've been dating this guy for a year and a half. At first, we were totally in love with each other. With time, he started criticizing everything I do, he didn't want me to talk to my guy friends, and he pushed my away from my girlfriends, too.
We don't meet as often, we don't have sex, and we kind of don't care about each other as we did before. I didn't want to break up with...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Reader Question:
My boyfriend is 21 and I am 19. We met through work and continue to work together. When we are together, our relationship is great.
We were busy with work and our lives but made plans that we would hang out. He ran into a friend and left me hanging. I left him a message stating that I didn't appreciate him leaving midconversation.
I don't like being the nagging the girlfriend, but this is not...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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It doesn’t matter how you may have parted ways. You can never walk away from a close relationship in one whole piece. Whether you leave on good terms, bad terms, as the one who got dumped or the one who dumped her, there are always frazzled edges, unbroken connections, lingering feelings and second thoughts.
If she moves on before you do, that’s hard enough, seeing her smile and touch now being freely given to...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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Have you recently ended things with a girl whom you still experience deep feelings for? If so, you’re sitting in a difficult position. Part of you wants to hold on to these feelings forever, while another part of you just wants to let go and remove her from your head and your heart.
As much as we all like to delve into nostalgic sentiment from time to time, the latter impulse represents your healthier option. And...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Reader Question:
My ex-husband sent me an email that said I was a great woman, he loved me deeply and I would always be on his mind. He said he was ashamed of himself for letting someone like me go. Why would he send me this after being divorced for almost a week?
-Cindy S. (Texas)
Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer:
There are three possible psychological reasons for his show of love to you just one week after the...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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When you’re in the middle of a bad relationship with a man you feel invested in, it can be very, very difficult to get out of that relationship. Not only will emotional ties prevent you from feeling you can live without your current man, but logistical difficulties (such as intertwined finances and living together) can make a breakup seem truly impossible.
If you need to get out of a bad relationship, follow these...
Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.
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Getting over a guy is like slowly pulling off a Band-Aid — for a little while, it’s agony. Then before you know it, the pain is over! Whether you date a man for two months or two years, women around the world agree getting over a guy you still like is a miserable experience.
There are times when we break up with a guy for good reason and we still have feelings for him. But usually when we find ourselves in the...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Reader Question:
I've been dating this great girl for a year and a half. She's the mothering kind of girlfriend. She takes care of me and it's awesome. One problem — I never thought she was pretty.
I knew I was settling when I started dating her, and now we're buying our own place. We're so stable that there is no question that we're going to get married. However, I can see problems 20 years ahead. I think she...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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Reader Question:
I like my ex and he knows it, but he also knows that I’m dating right now. Me and my ex know everything about each other, and we have a spark every time we see each other. I just want him to stop acting funny to me and go out with my friends.
-Danna H. (Texas)
Expert's Answer:
Hi Danna,
I’m a bit confused. You still like your ex and he knows it, but you want him to go out with your friends?...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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There is nothing that makes me sadder than to see a woman who is going through a breakup and doesn’t think she’ll ever fall in love again. Was he really that amazing — your ex? Was he the wind beneath your wings? Did he light your fire?
I could come up with thousands of annoying song lyrics to get my point across, but let’s be frank — breakups suck. But let’s be even more frank, you will love again.
The...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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Men are the most pitiful victims of heartbreak, so it is no wonder that it’s more difficult for them to heal and move on to a new love. Women have all of the safety releases and support systems that men lack.
A woman can cry it out with oceans of tears for hours, take a bubble bath in a green facial mask, call her girlfriends to talk about what a jerk he is, and then she’s back in action.
A man’s path of...
C. Price is part of DatingAdvice.com's content team. She writes advice articles, how-to guides, and studies — all relating to dating, relationships, love, sex, and more.
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Women have excuses for a lot of things — not to work out, to buy that extra dress, to watch “Shakespeare in Love” for the millionth time. Women also have excuses for staying in a relationship when they know it’s over. If it seems like your relationship is hanging by a thread but your girlfriend isn't making a move, one of the following excuses may be heading your way.
1. “The sex is good.”
Of course she’s not going...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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That depends on a few things. Are you still friends with your ex-girlfriend? If so, then absolutely keep her on your Facebook friend list and as a Twitter follower. I believe that women and men can be friends — like actual, platonic friends.
And if your new love interest has a problem with an ex posting friendly things on your Facebook page, then she’s most likely insecure about herself or insecure about your...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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Alexander Graham Bell once said, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
It’s hard to let go of regret. But like Bell said, if you concentrate on the regret in your life, then you won’t see the open doors to your future all around you. Yes, regret is especially difficult when it comes to dating. You...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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Nursing a broken heart is a difficult but inevitable challenge. Some cope through the use of drugs, alcohol, destructive behavior, or even suicide, but there are good and healthy ways to deal with a breakup. Sure, she’s perfect and irreplaceable (now), but you will soon make it to a new and brighter day.
1. Cocoon for a little while.
There’s nothing wrong with going underground for a day or two — maybe...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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What is it about our exes that make them so appealing? It’s like magic. As soon as you break up with your woman, almost to the day, she suddenly regains all of those alluring qualities that drew you to desire her in the first place. Even a woman whom you felt thoroughly tired and bored with just a couple weeks ago will once again radiate attraction each time you see her after your breakup.
Whether you broke up a...
Lauren is just about 24 now and thinks that age has brought a little clarity. She is in the dating scene but not to the point where sometimes she knows better. It's an interesting phase. Of her three best friends: one is married, one in a relationship and one is trolloping around Europe. That all seems normal to Lauren, who said she is less judgmental than she used to be. At a certain point, you realize most people are just on different paths to the same end.
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Was he all you ever wanted? All you ever needed, yeah? Well, turn up the 'N SYNC and we'll tell you what to do when you want him back.
1. Be honest with yourself.
It's easy to look at the past through rose-colored glasses, but if you want to get back with your ex, you need to be candid with yourself about what went wrong. Relationships end for any number of reasons, be it distance or incompatible schedules, and...
Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.
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If you broke up with your ex and realize you’ve made a horrible mistake and want her back, chances are she’ll give you another shot. Most women are completely devastated when a man does the breaking up. We cry for days, swear off men forever and either starve ourselves or pig out on ice cream. We wait anxiously by the phone for our ex to call and beg for forgiveness.
If you want her back, call her and ask her to...
Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.
