Key Takeaways
I’ve tested dating apps that serve adults across the spectrum of sexuality, and these are my top picks for queer singles.
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Match: Overall Best App for Queer Dating
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AdultFriendFinder: Best for Queer Hookups
Dating apps are a vital part of queer dating. Online dating is pretty popular across the board, but it’s more optional for straight singles who can walk into any bar or club and feel confident that most of the people they see are straight as well. For queer daters, online dating is the main way that they can find a partner.
Pew Research Center found that 51% of lesbian, gay, or bisexual daters had used a dating app, compared to just 28% of straight daters.
Queer people – for our purposes, that encompasses gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, non-binary, and genderqueer daters – need apps that won’t just connect them with other singles, but address their unique dating needs in a safe environment. Read on to find some great dating platform options for queer daters.
Match
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, and Relationships
- Match System: Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
- Our Experts Say: “Match lets lesbian singles set their filters and browse on their own terms, deciding who’s worth a closer look instead of leaving it to an algorithm.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Match is hands down the overall best dating site for queer people. It has been in the matchmaking game the longest, the algorithm takes lifestyle factors into account, and all mutual matches can chat for free.
Pros
- 27 gender identities
- Popular for relationship seekers
- Personality-driven connections
Cons
- No video chat
What’s more, Match has over a dozen gender identity options, and you can add up to a dozen photos to a profile to show multiples sides of your personality. The profile prompts offer plenty of icebreaker opportunities, and I see many completed profiles every time I log into Match.
Match members tend to be more mature and relationship-oriented, so you’re not going to find people sexting or fetishizing you. They’re more likely to ask about your crochet hobby than your sexual exploits.
eharmony
- Relationships: Casual Dates, Deep Relationships
- Match System: Personality test suggests matches
- Our Experts Say: “If you’re hoping to find a relationship that goes the distance, eharmony can connect you with gay men who are ready for something meaningful.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Now, I know eharmony hasn’t always catered to the queer population, but these days, it has a ton of sexuality identities offered in the profile fields, and its smart algorithm ensures LGBTQ+ daters will only see the profiles of people interested in them. That means if you identify as nonbinary, you’ll only see profiles of those who said they wanted to date “everybody.”
Cons
- Limited free chats
What stands out about eharmony is the compatibility quiz, required upon entry, that digs into lifestyle, temperament, and relationship goals. The basis of the match algorithm is a psychological profile. Users won’t see your answers to specific questions, but they’ll see how extraverted you scored or how family-oriented you are.
If you’re ready to get serious and find a partner who suits where you are and where you want to be, then you can’t really do better than this premium dating site for relationship seekers.
- Relationships: Hookups Only
- Match System: Search by location, interest, more
- Our Experts Say: “Make no mistake: this site isn’t about making friends, it’s about finding hookups and casual encounters. No adult site has a larger or more active user base of those seeking discreet fun.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Our top choice for queer daters is Adult Friend Finder (aka AFF). Best for sex-positive daters and those looking for a spicy community, AFF is both queer-accepting and kink-forward.
During setup, members can choose to date as a couple, or they can identify themselves as transgender. They can also state if they’re interested in pursuing men, women, transgender people, couples, or groups.
Pros
- Sex-positive and open-ended profiles
- Free discussion forum
- NSFW photos and videos
Cons
- Overcrowded interface
- No app to download; website only
And because the site allows explicit content and sexting, adults can feel safe to explore their sexuality and sexual preferences in messages, on the community forum, or through the site’s live cams, which are pretty graphic, so turn on the nudity filters if you don’t want an eyeful.
“Adult” is in the name for good reason, and AdultFriendFinder actually requires all members to go through age verification before they can view or post anything in the X-rated community. I’m always super grateful for this feature when I’m browsing because it is definitely not a space for minors!
MenNation
- Relationships: Daters & Hookups
- Match System: Search by age, zip code, more
- Our Experts Say: “MenNation is a men-only hookup site where guys can enjoy video chat rooms, public forums, and private messaging. All you need is an email address to join.” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
MenNation is a great option for queer men, whether they’re single or in a relationship. This X-rated site is known to host swingers and men looking for casual encounters and sexting. Guys also connect online through livestreaming.
I like that MenNation members are direct about what they want. There’s no playing it coy here.
Pros
- Large dating pool of queer men
- Search by kinks and fetishes
- Free community events and posts
Cons
- Some straight swingers in the mix
- Must pay for videos
The site hosts a community blog page where it’s free to post, comment, answer polls, and engage with other users. This is an appealing space because there’s not that pressure of direct messaging, and you still get to flirt and see some sexy photos.
And like AFF, MenNation offers nudity filters, so you don’t need to be surprised by a dick pic if that’s not your vibe.
- Relationships: Friends, Dates, Relationships
- Match System: Browse by gender identity, location, appearance, etc.
- Our Experts Say: “Inclusivity is at the heart of MyTransgenderDate. This niche dating site seeks to empower and connect people who may feel marginalized on other dating sites. The trans-friendly signup and matchmaking make it easier for singles to be loud and proud about who they are and what they want.”
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Dating as a trans person can be stressful. There are elements of trans dating – like disclosure – that simply aren’t a consideration for cis people. Inclusive profile options are great, but sometimes transgender people feel more comfortable on a site that was built for them specifically. Which is why we like to recommend MyTransgenderDate.
Pros
- Free messaging for women
- Online safety is a high priority
- Content warnings on inappropriate chats
Cons
- Not set up for same-sex dates
- Smaller user base
MyTransgenderDate caters specifically to transgender women who are looking to date men. These women get to use all the features on the site for free, and their male admirers will only be able to send chats if they pay for a premium membership. That’s partly in place as a security measure to keep rude, flaky, and casual people out.
Not everyone on the site identifies as queer, but they’re all vocal allies and open to nontraditional dating and different identities. The team takes privacy and security seriously, so everyone has to mind their manners if they want to last on MyTransgenderDate.
Fling.com
- Relationships: Casual Dating, Hookups, Friends with Benefits
- Match System: Search filters
- Our Experts Say: “Fling.com keeps things casual and connects horny adults with video and direct messaging. It doesn’t ask for real names, but it will verify photos as genuine to ensure catfish don’t last long here!” Our Review »
- Browse Free: View Photos Now
Openly sexual. Queer friendly. Free flirting features. Those are the perks of Fling.com. This adult dating site is open to all gender identities and sexual exploration. You name it, there’s probably a profile and a group chat for it.
Pros
- Lots of communication options
- Active moderation and chat feedback
- Inclusive of all kinks
Cons
- Not all search filters are free
- Video pages load slowly
This isn’t a space for serious relationships. It’s more about mixing and mingling with flirtatious strangers, many of whom go by a username instead of their real names. Sex is definitely high on people’s priority list, so don’t expect a lot of tame messages and small talk here.
I know casual dating sites can sometimes feel sketchy, especially for queer folks fearing harassment or fetishization, but Fling works hard to make things safe and welcoming. Profile verification and photo checks are part of the signup process, and members can take it further with videos posted on their profiles.
7. Taimi
Taimi was designed as an app for the entire spectrum of queer dating and love. The platform boasts 40 million users, all of whom identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community.
People join Taimi for all sorts of reasons. Some want to make friends, while others are seeking a long-term relationship. Its networking tools can be used to support any type of new connection.
The platform is a great space to figure out what you’re looking for and express your identity. And with strict harassment prevention, you can feel safe to be yourself.
How to Use a Queer Dating App Safely
No matter who you are, it’s extremely important to be vigilant and follow best safety practices when meeting someone from a dating platform (or, really, anywhere). And, unfortunately, queer daters face more hazards in the form of homophobia and fetishization.
You can protect yourself online by prioritizing your privacy and taking things slow. Don’t share your location with dates, and be careful about how specific your location data is on your profile.
Casual dating sites like Ashley Madison and Fling.com allow for more limited profiles, and I know many privacy-conscious daters prefer that route. Ashley Madison even allows you to blur your photo, which can help if you’d rather not publicize your dating activity.
Some apps, like Raya, don’t allow users to take screenshots. Look into the rules there and take any precautions that make you feel comfortable.
It’s worth looking into upgraded privacy options such as Grindr’s ability to change the app icon or the Ashley Madison PIN locking system and private photo vaults.
And when you’re engaging with dating profiles, keep in mind that not all the information you read is necessarily true. Dating platforms can verify that photos are real or that the user is over 18, but they do not verify how tall the person is or what their job title might be. That’s for you to fact-check.
Catfish and bot profiles are common hazards on practically every app, so keep an eye out for them. Reverse-image search profile photos, and be wary of profiles that try to take the conversation off the platform too fast.
Of course, the biggest red flag of all is asking for money, gift cards, or favors. Report anyone who tries to convince you to send money to them.
Take advantage of opportunities for digital connection before you meet in person. Try to video call anyone you meet before the date, and if they refuse, take that as a sign that they’re either not real or not ready for an IRL connection.
FAQs: What Is a Queer Dating App?
A queer dating app is a dating app built for or welcoming to LGBTQ+ people across identities.
Some function the same as general apps like Tinder, just with more identity options or ways of organizing matches. Others go a bit farther to serve the queer community with more safety assurances and networking options.
Many queer dating apps offer community groups and chats, in-person events, heightened moderation, and additional resources specific to LGBTQ+ dating.
Are Queer Dating Apps Safe If I’m Not Out?
As long as you’re following online safety practices, queer dating apps are perfectly safe. Just be aware that you are in a public space, and it’s not unheard of to run into a friend, acquaintance, or family member in the swiping scene.
Singles who aren’t fully “out” may want to conceal their identities in their profiles by hiding their face or not using their real name. They may choose to be more vague about their occupation or family life.
My Hot Take: It’s your prerogative to determine what you feel comfortable sharing. You don’t owe any online stranger your life story.
Some apps offer more safety tools and privacy assurances than others. Be aware of how much identifying information you’re sharing, and look into the options for incognito browsing (meaning you’ll see profiles, but they’ll only see you if you reach out). This is often a premium feature, but Match offers it for free.
Which Queer Dating App Is Best for Casual Dating?
I’ve tested all the dating apps on this list, and I know very well that they attract wildly different types of daters. If you’re hoping for a casual dating experience, Adult Friend Finder is our highest-rated option because of its reliable security measures, abundant search options, and highly active and legit profiles.
AFF requires all users to go through an age verification process that involves taking a live video. If the AI cannot determine that the person is over 18, they’ll be asked to submit a driver’s license. I’m in my mid-20s and made it past just fine.
Photos are not required on AFF, so queer daters can keep a low profile and lurk if that makes them feel more comfortable at first. My profile got plenty of messages even though I didn’t add a photo. Free members can read their incoming messages and send some replies. All communication in the Community Forum is free and unrestricted.
Pro Tip: If you’re squeamish about seeing a lot of naked body parts in your feed, go to your settings and turn on Nudity filters. That’ll ensure that all naughty content is blurred until you opt to view it. Personally, I love this feature and wish more sex apps would implement it!
Can I Find Friends on a Queer Dating App?
Yes! Plenty of people make friends on dating apps, and this is even more true on queer platforms, which often have a strong emphasis on community spirit. LGBTQ+ people also tend to have a good reputation for staying friends with exes, so even if you start off romantically, you could end up as platonic besties or friends with benefits later on.
If you are open to finding friendships and dates on a queer dating app, you’re not alone. But you should put that information in your profile so potential matches know what to expect. You should also choose apps that are aligned with you. As in, you’re more likely to make friends on Taimi than MenNation.
Popular queer apps for friendships and community:
- Taimi
- HER
- Lex
For female friendship and community events, HER would be among my top picks. It’s an app for women seeking women, and the vibes are very similar to Instagram or Facebook because you can comment on public posts to spark a connection.
What to Look For in a Queer Dating App
When choosing the right queer dating app for you, focus on the features that will positively impact your experience the most.
Some features that actually matter in practice include:
- Gender and pronoun options. It’s crazy that this is still an issue, but not all sites offer diverse choices for setting your gender identity and pronouns on your profile.
- Filters and blurs. In addition to helping you make your profile as cute as possible, filters, masks, and blurring features for photos can help you obscure your identity in your profile and protect your privacy.
- Moderation of harassment and fetishization. All good dating platforms have options for moderating your experience and protecting you from harassment, and this is especially true for queer dating platforms. Prioritize platforms with great customer service and zero-tolerance policies on bad behavior.
Your relationship intentions and the type of people you want to meet will obviously influence your choices as well. If you want a personalized recommendation based on your specific needs, take our quiz:
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The Best Queer Dating Apps Fit Your Identity, Goals & Safety Needs
Queer daters enjoy many options when it comes to choosing the right dating platforms. But of course, not every app is one-size-fits-all. What works for a straight gal may not work for you. It depends on your location, your intentions, and your type.
I like to recommend queer dating apps that have inclusive sign-up options and few barriers to exploration and connection. Most of the apps on this list won’t bat an eye over poly dating or kink searches, and all of them have plenty of room to help a queer person find their tribe.
