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Let's Talk Sex (Page 17)
By:
Amber Brooks
Amber Brooks,Editor-in-Chief
Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.
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Editor:
Lillian Castro
Lillian Castro,Senior Editor
Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.
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Let’s talk about sex, baby! Here you’ll find topics related to sexual intimacy and relationships. Our articles cover how couples can improve their sex lives in a safe and healthy way and how singles can explore sex and dating.
In the words of Lady Danbury, are you taking care of your garden, Violet? Well, if, like Violet, you’re doing a shabby job at it, our experts can help.
In our articles, our experts have open and judgment-free conversations about sexual wellness and how that may look in every stage of dating. Whether you want to learn about sexual boundaries or compatibility, our articles touch on every aspect of the sexual experience.
Learn how prioritizing trust, communication, and understanding can play a role in helping you establish a better sex life.
Our experts have also reviewed various sex apps and platforms that support casual hookups, sexting, and exploration, so you can know what works for you and what doesn’t. The sexual experience is different for everyone, and we cover all fantasies, kinks, and fetishes between consenting adults. Just real talk about real desires.
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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Figuring out how long to wait before you have sex with someone is a deeply personal question that is highly dependent on a wide variety of factors and conditions.
For example, if you’re looking for a man to enter into a serious, long-term relationship with, or if you’re even looking for a man you may one day marry, then you might prolong the waiting period before you slip between the sheets.
Sex is extremely...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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You’re a liberated woman. You’re smart, independent and nobody’s fool. You’re tired of guys who take advantage of your trusting nature and generosity, so maybe it’s time to put yourself first.
You’ve been around the block a time or two and are fed up with bad relationships, but you still have those urges that can only be satisfied between the sheets. Maybe it’s time to consider finding a "friend with...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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One thing is for sure about men. They do like the chase. In fact, it seems, some men prefer the chase more than the capture, at least when it comes to sex. So why is this?
Well, humans historically prefer what they can’t have. And when a partner is hard to get, it signals a higher-status mate, one that might provide better for offspring. C’mon, admit it ladies. You all sit up a little straighter when the CEO walks...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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Some girls make men want to spend an hour with them, while other girls make them want to spend a lifetime together. The thrill and allure of the "bad girl" can be difficult for a man to ignore and a nice girl to overcome, but it will forever remain a fact of life.
Why?
The attraction of the bad girl is simple and obvious: sex. Naughty, gratuitous, raw, animal, no-strings-attached sex. It’s the way nature designed...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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If the sex sucks but there is a genuine bond of friendship and compassion, keep working on it. When the sexual passion builds on the foundation of friendship, compassion and real caring for the other person, the relationship is almost always stronger than when the heat of passion leads the way and blinds you to the lack of depth in the underlying bond.
Great sex is the cement that holds it all together, but it is...
Lauren is just about 24 now and thinks that age has brought a little clarity. She is in the dating scene but not to the point where sometimes she knows better. It's an interesting phase. Of her three best friends: one is married, one in a relationship and one is trolloping around Europe. That all seems normal to Lauren, who said she is less judgmental than she used to be. At a certain point, you realize most people are just on different paths to the same end.
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The word "sex" brings a lot of images to mind. Some of them raunchy, others from sixth grade health class, and maybe some from that HBO show that taught a generation what Furries are. A diverse pallet, certainly, but in some ways sex, be it risque, clinical or in a mascot suit, seems to omit one of the most wonderful parts about it — love.
While the phrase "make love" sounds like it should have been left to the...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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As the mom of a three year old, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to find those intimate moments with your guy. Whether your little one’s in day care or you’re a stay-at-home mom, it’s not easy to find time for yourself — let alone time to nurture your sex life. There are diapers to change, runny noses to wipe, laundry to be done, dinner to be made, etc.
Chances are, at the end of the day, you’re looking...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Clearly we are in a high-supply sexual economy where men can attempt to obtain sex without a promise to share anything past their germs and where women are exposing their bloodstreams and eggs to men whom they don’t trust enough to water their plants while they are out of town.
But why do some men (and women) believe sex is necessary before a commitment? They believe a few myths of sexuality.
1. Sexual chemistry...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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The American female population is still breathless over "Fifty Shades of Grey," the best selling trilogy of novels detailing an S&M (sadomasochism) sexual relationship. But I breezed through the simple book with a yawn. Not because I have experienced such a tangled and titillating sexual relationship in real life, but because, well, the whole scenario was rather textbook to me.
Yes, I studied this stuff in...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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Sexting is the act of sending explicit verbiage or photographs to another person via text message. If used the right way, sexting can be a lot of fun between partners. If used the wrong way, sexting can spell disaster for your personal or professional life.
Ladies, here are some tips to staying away from becoming another sexting scandal headline in the local paper.
1. Think of the consequences.
If you ever plan...
Lauren is just about 24 now and thinks that age has brought a little clarity. She is in the dating scene but not to the point where sometimes she knows better. It's an interesting phase. Of her three best friends: one is married, one in a relationship and one is trolloping around Europe. That all seems normal to Lauren, who said she is less judgmental than she used to be. At a certain point, you realize most people are just on different paths to the same end.
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A healthy sex life is massively important to any relationship but initially instigating it can be tricky. Women more so than men can feel pressured if they think sexual expectations are introduced too early in the relationship, but waiting runs the risk of her feeling like you aren't attracted to her.
Here are a few suggestions to help you find the right balance between too soon and never.
1. Talk about it.
If...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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If you’re in high school or under 18, sexting is a horrible idea. The guys your are sending your erotic texts and photos to are not mature enough to be trusted to keep such sensitive information to themselves.
They will save the messages forever so they can read them again and again. So, even if they don’t share them with their friends (and most of them will), the messages may be discovered by their parents or...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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Anyone who is sexually active outside of a monogamous relationship is at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI). That’s why it’s important to practice safe sex, get regular checkups at your OB/GYN and stay healthy — physically and mentally.
For lesbians, STIs can be transmitted woman-to-woman through skin-to-skin contact, fluids and more. And certain STIs are more common in sexual activity...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Bad news folks. Hot sex is one of the worst false advertisements out there. It gives new lovers the delusion that they have found the perfect relationship. When sex drives are in sync and dopamine is flooding through neurotransmitters, idealistic thoughts cloud judgments.
Lovers can’t quite help but believe that this relationship will last forever. Within weeks women hear wedding bells and imagine a romantic...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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On face value, the ailing economy and your personal sex life may have little to do with each other. But research shows that money and love are indeed, familiar bedfellows.
One study by researchers at the University of Kansas reveals that when times are tough, men seek more sexual partners. Our current economic recession has some men lingering for more sex and the researchers suggest that this dates back to our...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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Prying into a man’s personal life can be a risky adventure. Sensitive information is simply on a need-to-know basis. Well, if you are getting close to the point of becoming sexually active with your new man, there are some things you need to know.
What questions are fair game, and which are out of bounds? And how can you bring up the subject without seeming like you can’t wait to get into his pants?
The time to...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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Sex is a delicate topic. If you want to know how to please your man beyond all reason, and if you aren’t scared of a little "real talk," then read on and learn why most sex tips for women never seem to deliver the goods.
Your pleasure = his pleasure.
What do men want most between the sheets?
Is it a woman who has read every Cosmo article on how to please her man? Wrong.
How about a woman who knows every...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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Let’s be honest, nobody actually enjoys being rejected. Throughout history, man has assumed the role of pursuer and women, the more sensitive of the sexes, has accepted it.
This puts the guy’s heart and emotions on the line and allows the female to sit back and have the ball (aka the power) in her proverbial tennis court.
Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, "We throw the whole drudgery of creation...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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It’s probably the hardest decision a woman can make. To have sex or not with a man she is attracted to. Feminists who use a male model of sexuality to define women’s sexual freedom might say, "If he’s hot and you use protection, who cares if he’s playing you. You can play him, too!"
But there are two big catches to this plan. Most women have trouble separating sex from love and most men still put women in one of...
Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.
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Back in 2009, Simon Louis Lajeunesse, a professor at the School of Social Work at the University of Montreal, launched a study to examine the effects of pornography on men.
In order to do sound science, he needed to compare two groups: Young men who have consumed pornography and a control group of young men who have not consumed pornography. There was only one problem. He could not find even one man who had not...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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Everyone wants to enjoy a healthy and fun sex life. While sex may not be the only important element of a relationship, it certainly ranks near the top.
After all, humans are sexual in nature and that natural sexual charge represents the primary defining feature differentiating your romantic relationships from your close friendships.
So read on and learn how you can experience an exciting sex life in a...
Lauren is just about 24 now and thinks that age has brought a little clarity. She is in the dating scene but not to the point where sometimes she knows better. It's an interesting phase. Of her three best friends: one is married, one in a relationship and one is trolloping around Europe. That all seems normal to Lauren, who said she is less judgmental than she used to be. At a certain point, you realize most people are just on different paths to the same end.
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Sex. Doin' it. The beast with two backs. Whatever euphemism you choose, sex is a hugely important part of a relationship. Stereotypes might lead us to believe that instigating sex is typically a male role, but maybe your lady friend just isn't getting the right signals to let her inner vixen out.
No one wants to feel like they're the one always cajoling their partner into sex, so here are a few tips to help you...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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What does it take to turn your man on? Better yet — what does it take to turn your man on in a tasteful manner?
These questions have hounded women for ages. After all, women are caught in a tough spot when it comes to their sexuality. On the one hand, women are incredibly sexual, at least as sexual as men, and have powerful desires and needs they need met, needs which can only be properly satisfied by ruthlessly...
Bethany has ghost-written hundreds of dating articles in the last 10 years for relationship experts all over the United States.
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The issue of hurried sex was best depicted in an episode of “Sex and the City,” which is the average woman’s Holy Grail of relationship shows. Carrie begins dating Aidan, a new man in her life. After each date, he always walks her to her door, gives her a brief kiss and goes home, and she finds it incredibly weird that he doesn’t ask to come in.
Carrie repeatedly asks herself what is wrong with her that Aidan...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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Ideally, it is usually best for men to make the first overt advance that triggers the sexual act. It allows a man to feel manly and lets the woman retain her value and reputation as a lady.
That said, most guys are pretty lousy at picking up the signals you send us, and we prefer to err on the side of gentlemanly behavior if we’re not sure that permission has been given, especially if it’s the first time for a new...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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What can you do if your man doesn’t initiate sex as often as you’d like him to? Even though you may feel you fill a more submissive role in your relationship’s bedroom tussles, as a woman, you have within you the power to get yours anytime you want, anywhere you want it, however you need it.
Constantly seduce your man.
Seduction isn’t an isolated action. Within a healthy sexual relationship, seduction constantly...
Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.
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Reader Question:
When is it OK to have sex with a man for the first time?
-Latoya Jones (Mississippi)
Expert's Answer:
Hi, Latoya.
That’s a very important and very challenging question that all women have to deal with whenever they start dating a new guy. Of course, the answer depends to some extent on your age and maturity level, your experience and sexual history, and on the man you’re dating. But there...
Lauren is just about 24 now and thinks that age has brought a little clarity. She is in the dating scene but not to the point where sometimes she knows better. It's an interesting phase. Of her three best friends: one is married, one in a relationship and one is trolloping around Europe. That all seems normal to Lauren, who said she is less judgmental than she used to be. At a certain point, you realize most people are just on different paths to the same end.
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You've sprinkled flower petals, you've lit candles, or you flipped the little switch on the fake LED candles, if you're fire safety conscious. Boys 2 Men is playing. You've got that feeling. It's time for some sexual healing.
Until you're lady says she has a headache and would rather just go to bed. Before you wait up for the Dr. Ruth call-in show, here are a few things to consider.
1. She's “fine.”
It's one of...
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes.
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Are you an older virgin? Are you a woman in your 20s or 30s who hasn’t had sex yet? If you answered “yes,” then you probably feel stuck in a difficult situation. Many women who didn’t lose their virginity in their teens feel awkward and uncomfortable about their sexual situation.
Many older virgins feel conflicted and worried when they think about finding a man to have sex with them. Older virgins often worry that...
Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Florida. She holds a bachelor's degree in journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine, and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at karapound.com.
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There really is no way to candy coat this one. Ladies, having sex on the first date is an absolute no-no. It’s not “wrong” per se, but it shows a man that you don’t have enough self-respect or self-restraint to wait until you’re in a committed relationship to make whoopee.
This isn’t the ‘60s – there’s no longer such a thing as free love. These days, you have to worry about HIV and AIDS, Hepatitis B, Gonorrhea,...
Amber Brooks is the Editor-in-Chief at DatingAdvice.com. When she was growing up, her family teased her for being "boy crazy," but she preferred to think of herself as a budding dating and relationship expert. As an English major at the University of Florida, Amber honed her communication skills to write clearly, knowledgeably, and passionately about a variety of subjects. Now with over 1,800 lifestyle articles to her name, Amber brings her tireless wit and relatable experiences to DatingAdvice.com. She has been quoted by the Washington Times, Cosmopolitan, The New York Post, and AskMen, among others.
