Let's Talk Intimacy (Page 6)

Let’s talk about sex. If you think your girlfriend is boring in bed, there are only three reasons: She’s a bad lover. You’re a bad lover. You’re not compatible. I know you're hoping it's number three. If it is, then be honest with yourself (and her), verbalize the issue and regain your sense of adventure with other people. However, it’s probably numbers one and two. If she’s a bad lover (in your opinion),...

Ladies, let’s be honest: Sometimes the sex just isn’t good. So what constitutes good sex? How do you know if it’s just bad chemistry or if it’s you? The good, the bad and the truthful. The definition of good sex is different for every person. Some people like vanilla sex: missionary style and only in bed. There are people like me who will try anything sexual once - twice if we like it! I find most people tend to...

Women love sex just as much as men do - note the use of the word "men." As a man, you don’t want to be aggressive (that’s what boys do). Women know when they are being hit on by a boy. A boy tries to force the situation. A man allows the situation to flow naturally. A boy has an agenda. A man has no agenda. A man can walk away, which means she will probably want him to stay and get intimate. You see, if intimacy...

We’ve all heard the jokes from new parents about how their sex lives have faded fast since the arrival of their little one. But new research by British relationship charity OnePlusOne has found there is some truth in this jest. According to the charity’s latest Sleep, Sex and Sacrifice report, 40 percent of new moms and 11 percent of dads feel they are no longer sexually attractive to their partner. More...

The first time you have sex with your significant other is an anticipated, special moment, but what if the first time is terribly disappointing? Terrible sex happens a lot, and it is also subjective. What is considered terrible varies from person to person, depending on what your past experiences have been. There are a couple of ways I can approach this dating issue. First, I blame you. If you have been dreaming...

Two years ago, I was lying on our bed. Our two good friends and partners at the time, Kathryn and Jake, were on the bed with me. Kathryn had been eating me out, asking me what I liked and what I wanted. I tried to sputter out some words, but I was embarrassed. My primary partner J. and I hardly ever talked during sex (if there was any verbal conversation, it would be about the news - not about sex) and I didn’t...

One of the most mysterious aspects of sexuality for men is how to go down on women the right way. You’ve probably spent many a late Saturday night getting a sore neck and jaw wondering if you’re making any progress whatsoever. Listen, there’s nothing to be ashamed of here. It’s not as if they covered this in your high school sex ed class. Fortunately, I’m going to give you some tips that I've gotten from some of my...

Reader Question: I am currently in a relationship with a man for the first time. I am kind of shy and kinky at the same time. What should I do to arouse my partner? -Jamie (Louisiana) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Dear Jamie, Ask him. If you can't talk about sex, you can't have it. No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by...

Reader Question: I met this guy two months ago. On the third date, I felt so connected that I ended up sleeping with him. We did some foreplay but couldn't have sex. I started worrying and regretting what I did that night. He didn’t seem as affectionate as he was at first. He kept texting me for more than two weeks but didn’t ask me out. I told him I felt a bit uncomfortable after getting physically intimate...

Reader Question: My significant partner went through menopause. Since 2009, we have not had intimate sex and she no longer wants or has interest in intimacy. We are in our late 50s. I still care but we do not seem like a couple. I am considering leaving. I’m just not willing to have a non-intimate relationship no matter how much I care, love or still want her. She will not talk about it. What should I...

Women ask this to themselves time and time again: Why won't men cuddle after having sex? It's an age-old mystery we're going to try to explain here. Have you ever wanted to cuddle with a man after sex and been denied? Your man simply doesn't give you the kind of intimate affection after sex that you would like, and you're starting to wonder if it's you. In need of a cuddly date? Try Match free for 3 days and put...

In 1986, when Italian chef Carlo Petrini saw a McDonald's restaurant being constructed near the historic Spanish Steps in Rome, he quietly said "Enough." What followed was a movement he founded in response to non-nutritious fast food simply called "slow food." At first the group was small with a single-minded goal: boycott fast food and return to the more time-consuming preparations that grandmothers had perfected,...

Reader Question: I tend to have sex early on when meeting a guy, and then I worry about still getting to know him or if he really will try to get to know me. I am dating a guy now. We've been seeing each other for five weeks and I have made it clear from the beginning I'm not looking for anything casual. He has said we are exclusive. He also has made it clear he understands I want something real (a relationship)...

You’ve met her — the woman of your dreams! She might be butch, femme, lipstick, sporty or boi, but she’s hot and that’s exciting. You’ve crossed the line to having sex with your lesbian girlfriend and that’s starting to cross over into your texting. Texting + sex = sexting. It’s great for foreplay, but let’s talk about boring common sense when using this communication medium. Please don’t text pictures of...

Everyone's first gay sexual experience is different. It could be a private chat on a  gay hookup site, or it could be a spontaneous makeout session or oral sex with a friend. People usually say, “I’ve known I was gay my whole life.” This may be true for some, but it doesn’t necessarily happen to every gay guy.   I didn't know I was gay my whole life, per se, but I’ve always known I was different and...

Wow, that’s a big question isn’t it? It's sort of loaded with nervous tension and excitement. It really is exciting when you meet a lesbian you are attracted to and she feels the same about you. It just doesn’t happen often enough. When that chemistry finally shows up, it’s hard not to just jump into bed. As a dating expert and coach, I don’t tell my clients when they should have sex for the first time. You are...

We coach thousands of people every year in their relationships and one of the most popular questions we get from the ladies is, “How do I keep my man into me and not be another cheating statistic?” As two straight male experts, the ladies are always eager to step into our complex male brains to uncover the answer to this great question. Below are some of our top tips on how to keep your man in your bed. 1. Embrace...

Reader Question: What arouses a woman today seeing that I'm in my early 50s and she isn't? I want her to be attracted to me, but I do not want to push the issue of her seeing me as an older man. -Stan (Ohio) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Dear Stan, Women are attracted to the same things men are: good health, loyalty, intelligence and honesty. Men might also add in beauty and women might add financial...

“Teen Mom” star Farrah Abraham recently made a sex tape with the reigning king of porn, James Deen. The sex tape has become a rite of passage for Z-grade television stars, but what about the average dude looking to capture his own sex life on video? I’m going to cover the ins and outs of getting your girl naked and crazy on camera with you. 1. Bring her into your porn life. Are you still watching porn alone?...

At some point, the threesome became the gold standard for male sexual fantasies. Two beautiful women and you — what’s not to like? While many men daydream about a fantasy life with two women, fewer are able to bring this dream to fruition. There are basically three ways a threesome happens: 1. You and your girl add a third wheel 2. You hook up with a couple random strangers 3. You become a third wheel in someone...

Reader Question: I have been talking to a co-worker since December 2012. We didn't have sex and still have not, but we have been hanging out more and more. Now we sleep naked but just cuddle. He recently has been texting more, saying "Wish you were here." If he just wanted sex, he would have left a long time ago and we would not still be talking and hanging out. Why would he ask me to come over when he knows...

Reader Question: I'm a 62-year-old widower. I was married for 31 years. It's now four years after my wife's passing. I am anxious to begin dating again, but my concern is I was born with a micro penis. I am reluctant to go through the embarrassment and rejection all over again. Any advice for me? -Steve (Florida) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: Dear Steve, I know men really, really get concerned about their...

We coach thousands of people every year in their relationships, and one of the most popular questions we get from the ladies is, “How do I keep my man into me and not be another cheating statistic?” As two straight male experts, the ladies are always eager to step into our complex male brains during our live events to uncover the answer to this great question. Below are some of our top tips on how to keep your...

So you're dating this woman. She's hot. You haven't screwed up yet. You're actually on date number three. And you're thinking that everything is going great in your new relationship. Then the urban rumors come into play. Your friends start getting into your ear. They tell you it’s the magical date number three, and it's time to seal the deal. Meanwhile, you don't even want to tell your friends you haven't really...

For most couples, there comes a time when you realize the passion may have gone from your relationship. Here is part two of Marni Battista's fresh ideas for how to keep your relationship thriving. If you missed part one, check out How to Rekindle the Dwindling Spark in Your Relationship. 3. Maintenance, maintenance, maintenance. Things as little as leaving a love note for your partner before you leave for work,...

If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, there will come a time when you wake up to realize you may have gone from passion to partners. If you’re in a space where most of what you talk about are the logistics of life, sex seems like something you just “do” and you wish you could feel butterflies again. Well, it’s time to try a bit harder to keep the romantic flame burning. Just like a business cycle...

For the longest time, I could think of few things more boring than yoga. When I first heard about hot yoga, I thought it was the worst idea ever. Nothing sounded less appealing than having to contort myself in a heated room while sweating profusely. But then some guy invited my best friend to a Bikram class.This was my downfall. My friend confirmed my worst suspicions. She said hot yoga was every bit as awful as...

When do you crave love and sex the most? A new study tracking Google keyword searches discovered people are most likely to seek intimacy in the early winter (around Christmas) and during the early summer. The study examined trends in keyword searches over the course of five years, from January 2006 to March 2011, and noticed searches for keywords related to both love (“Match.com”) and sex (“xxx,” “call girl”)...

Reader Question: I am 70 and he is 68. He has ED (erectile dysfunction). He has tried ED medication but has been allergic to the three he has tried. I have had radiation in my pelvis but nothing works down there anymore, including urinary and fecal incontinence. I have not told him about that. We are both lonely. He is very interested in me. I see him as a good guy who is very kind. We both enjoy kissing and...

Here's the good news: Sex is healthy for you. Research has shown sex two times per week lowers stress and improves mood. Of course, unsafe sex or sex with a partner who is emotionally hurtful isn't so good for you, but most happy, healthy couples report their sex life is very important to them and contributes to their bond. Now here's the bad news: Long-term monogamous sex takes a bit of work and creativity to be...