Let's Talk Approaching & Flirting (Page 9)

Reader Question: There's a girl I really like at my college who I've liked for quite some time. I'm a shy guy around girls and haven't spoken to her because she's always hanging around with these two other girls. I can never seem to catch her alone. What can I do so she notices me? -Hamza S. (Arizona) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: You are right to want to "divide and conquer." Girl packs can be intimidating. But...

Getting a guy to like you can be one of the most ponderous aspects of dating. There are no patent guarantees because preferences vary so much from person to person. Here are a few general guidelines to help you feel confident in a variety of situations. 1. Be confident not cocky. This is probably the most overused bit of dating advice ever, but cliches often end up that way for a reason. Be talkative but spend more...

Most dating sites offer you the ability to send some flirty, noncommittal messages to the men you find attractive. The most common and suggestive of these is the "wink." When you choose to "wink" at a man, that man will be notified how a woman picked him out and showed interest in him, and if he opens the "wink," he will see you were the one who sent it. As you can imagine, sending a wink is a popular action...

Sometimes I think there is nothing more painful than feeling lonely and wishing for a mate. As humans, we are meant to connect. Solitary confinement is used as the ultimate punishment. The urge to bond is especially poignant in a high-supply sexual economy where the media paints a picture of everyone dating and having lots of exciting sex. (Most of which is a myth.) The important thing to remember is that there...

No man wants to get in the way of a friend's game. Yet a quick trip to your favorite bar on any given day of the week will reveal countless examples of this deplorable behavior. But before you start casting too many judgments at your peers, remember that you’ve likely gotten in the way of your own friends on many occasions. So how can you avoid ruining his game and maybe even contribute to his chances of taking...

The law of averages not only applies to sales tactics. It also works in the confines of a dimly-lit bar with a dirty floor, which means if you talk to enough women in one night, eventually you will find one to go home with you. Let’s entertain for a moment the rare chance that you are in a decent bar and you’ve happened upon a beautiful woman who seems halfway decent. You’re going to need to be prepared with the...

Reader Question: What do I do if both of us are interested in each other and several weeks pass by and I haven't seen him at work? He plays hockey on Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. Do you think I should go there by myself and find out if he is available to hang out afterward? I like him a lot, and I don't think he knows it. -Kathleen J. (Illinois) Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer: How do you know that both of you are...

Seattle, Paris, Istanbul, Phoenix, Atlanta . . . moving to a new city can be daunting. Whether it’s for a job transfer or just a change of scenery, it’s tough to meet men in a new zip code. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. The following are great places to venture out of your comfort zone and find a new man in your new time zone. 1. The gym. You’re killing two birds with one stone — physical fitness and...

For most of us, flirting isn't easy. No matter how many episodes of VH1's “The Pickup Artist” you've seen, it's easy to lose confidence when things don't go as planned. Before you change your name to Mystery, and before you put on that god-awful fuzzy hat, here are a few ideas to help the rest of us amateur flirts. 1. Don't rely on the law of averages. We all know that guy. The guy at the bar that flirts...

Many women will concede that meeting men is easy but insist getting them to talk to you is next to impossible. Nonsense, I say! Men are dying to talk to you. They want to come right up and ask for your digits, invite you to dance or get you to agree to dinner. The problem is, many men are so afraid of rejection that they never muster up the courage to approach you for fear they might strike out. When it comes to...

Reader Question: I’m a single, young-looking woman of 47. I don’t have a driver’s license, just a three-speed bike to get around to my GED classes and to the grocery store, then that’s all I get to do. I feel hopeless. I'm not having any luck at all in the love department, at least so far. I get lonely. All I have to keep me company is my computer and my TV. Since I don’t have my driver’s license and a car, what...

Seduction is very much a part of the courtship process, if not the most influential element of physical attraction. Webster’s Dictionary describes seduction as "something that attracts or charms” or “an invitation to sexual intercourse.” Being enticing, attractive and charming is very important when you’re dating, because you want the man you’re after to find you irresistible so he’ll come after you. I cannot...

College is an incredible time in your life for a variety of reasons, not least of which is the opportunity it gives you to meet a large assortment of high-quality women. Not only will college provide you with your first chance to experience an adult, mature relationship, it also provides you with the ability to indulge in the more frivolous and casual dating experiences that living at home with your parents...

Reader Question: OK, so around two years ago I was living in Canada and I met a girl for only one night. She was a friend of another girl who I will call Girl B. I spent a lot of time getting drunk with Girl B. So when Girl A came to visit, we all went out for drinks. At the time, nothing was said or happened with Girl A, as she had a boyfriend and I was too busy having fun. Roll on two years and I am now...

If you’ve set your sights on a hot mamacita you’ve met while out around town, or you just became aware you’re falling for your study buddy, or you notice a chick in the gym whose hard work is starting to pay off, getting to know a girl you like is as easy as breathing. It’s effortless. The most challenging part about meeting women you find attractive is meeting women you find attractive. In addition to meeting...

Hair is one of the first things men notice about a woman. Hair is also the perfect way for you to distinguish yourself from the crowd with your own style, and you can change your appearance with a new “do” that everyone will notice right away. Long hair does have the advantage of flowing as you move, which is very attractive and attention-grabbing. When it’s up in a bun and you let it down, it also has a dramatic...

If there is a time of life when men are as close to perfect as they are ever going to get, it’s when they are in that 35 to 45 age range. They are confident and civilized, and they know how to approach and treat women (and children). They are likely to be at the peak of their success. They have given up most of their childish ways and have finally matched the maturity level of a 25-year-old woman. They’ve sown their...

Every woman is a mystical enchantress with the power to captivate and win the hearts of many men. So it is really no big deal for you to expect that you can have a good man of your own one month from today. As a woman, you know that you could drag most any guy home in 10 minutes with a simple indecent proposal. That same hypnotic power can be diluted to get his attention, capture his imagination and make him eager to...

Rule number one, if you want a girl to like you, then please disregard everything you thought worked in elementary school. Don’t throw sand at her, don’t drop a worm down her shirt, and don’t be a complete jerk. If you’re looking to attract a woman with substance, then be a “normal” human being. Most women appreciate thoughtfulness, right? So put yourself in her shoes — not literally, but figuratively — and think...

Reader Question: How do I know if my girlfriend is just “fun flirting” or if she doesn’t love me anymore? -Colin B. (Virginia) Expert's Answer: Hey Colin, What an interesting question. If we were having a two-way conversation, I would ask you for a lot more information. But since this is me virtually writing you a letter, I will have to use my imagination and cognoscente creativity. I’m assuming you and this...

Reader Question: Back in seventh grade, I used to know this guy from an exchange. We became friends but lost touch once the program was over and never talked again for the last five years. Lately, I've seen him in town a couple of times (nothing but eye contact) and soon after at a club where he was super nervous but actually came up to talk to me. We had a really awkward chat, and he tried to compliment me, told...

Pickup lines have a bad reputation and with good reason. Not only have men come up with some of the most obnoxious, bizarre or downright mean-spirited icebreakers in existence, but the best pickup lines were created for no other purpose than to provide a “slick” opening move in a selfish, insincere game. Yet despite their unfavorable reputation, pickup lines persist and will continue to be used for the foreseeable...

Throughout history, famous bad boys have become objects of lust for women all over the world. Young film icon James Dean, vampire Eric Northman (a.k.a. Alexander Skarsgard) of “True Blood,” actors Russell Crowe and Colin Farrell, singers Tommy Lee and Dave Navarro and rapper 50 Cent to name a few. But do girls really like bad boys and if so, why? It’s a topic that has been around for centuries — since gladiators,...

Meeting women at the gym can be a sticky situation — pun intended. Most women at the gym are hot and sweaty and their thighs stick to the seat of the stationary bike when they try to get up, which is not a good look for meeting a guy. When we go to the gym, most women go there for one reason and one reason only and that is to stop the perpetual sag and jiggle of certain body parts. This means when we walk through...

Not every girl is looking to go out with the boisterous, loud and extroverted alpha male. Plenty of girls find themselves drawn instead to the quieter, more reserved and introspective sort of guy. These lower-key guys certainly have a lot to offer the women who find them attractive. However, if you’re a woman interested in going out with a soft-spoken guy, you’re going to run into one big problem — getting this...

“College is the best four years of your life,” said everyone, ever. With so many preconceived expectations thrust upon us by friends, siblings and even parents, it's easy to feel like spending your Friday night in the library actually having to study isn't living up to the hype. Before you get frustrated and resign yourself to a life of moo-moo dresses and feline friends, here are a few tips on how to make the most...

Guys, if you’re wondering how to get a girl to kiss you or you're waiting for her to make a move, you may be waiting a mighty long time. Most women, me included, have been instructed that a man is supposed to initiate the first kiss. When it comes to dating advice, I continue to instruct other women to wait for a man to kiss her, because it’s just the natural order of things as they pertain to dating and...

Usually I’m proactive about getting numbers from the women I meet and share a connection with, but there have been times when the lady I’m speaking with beats me to the punch. If you’re interested in getting a guy’s number, I suggest using one of the following strategies that have worked on me and on many of my male friends. The “I Want to See Your Work” approach. This approach depends on the guy you want to go out...

Flirting online can be very, very difficult. The Internet is still very much a typed medium, and the nature of flat, expressionless text makes it difficult to engage in the light, winking, double-entendre filled practice of flirting. Good flirting relies on toying with the meaning behind words, and conveying precise meaning through flat, expressionless text seems to render online flirting impossible. Of course,...

Flirting is a delicate skill to learn. You don’t want to come on too strong or too creepy or downright desperate. Flirting takes finesse and anticipation. You want to lightly touch her hand, smile coyly and make her feel like the only woman in the room. But flirting online is a horse of another color. You can’t utilize tone of voice, facial expressions or body language to help get your emotional intentions across....